Disclaimer: … sigh….
I kind of re-read the last chapter and I'm soo embarrassed! I mean I made a lot of mistakes… grammatical ones and also some sentences don't make a lot of sense! I'm really sorry… I think I've been tired lately… I almost don't sleep at night cause I'm one of those persons who happen to be insomniac… at least during holidays… 99% of my nights are passed with great insomnias. Once again I beg your pardon for my mistakes!
Since some asked for me to update before going away… I decided to grant that wish… if you see something that doesn't make sense… don't kill me… I had to write this chapter between small pauses on other things I had to do this week…
Passing anger
Kaoru's POV
"Myu-chan!" I called her out.
"I'm here." She said appearing from behind a tree.
I pointed the medium mass of water "We're here…"
She nodded and walked by my side until we got near enough the lake. I took my sandals and sat on the grass with my feet resting on the cool water while my little friend entered the border water and started to play there.
"Don't get to far ok?"
"Hai!"
I smiled at the girl. The water was beautiful. Its blue was so pure and crystalline that I could see every little rock and pebble on the bottom. A shoal of fish passed by and made Myu-chan squeal in delight.
"Look at all the pretty fishys!!!" she said clapping her hands. I couldn't help but to laugh. "What's so funny?" she asked curiously.
"It's just that you make me remember myself… when I was your age…"
"Oh…"
My ears caught some disturbing noise.
"Hey… Isn't that Busu-sensei and Myuki-chan?" it was Yahiko's voice. I was going to protest the fact he had once again insulted me but I figured I didn't need to.
"She's not BUSU! You're such a baka Yahiko!" all the other boys said.
I couldn't help myself but to giggle 'Why do they act like this?'
"Kaoru-sensei! Konnichiwa!" I slightly turned around.
"Konnichiwa boys!" I waved at them and was about to get up to go talk to them but once again I figured I didn't need to. They were already at my side… no, not at my side… they were all around me. Forming a half circle.
"So… what are you boys doing here today?"
"Fishing!" they all answered at the same time.
"Hehe…" they sure could creep me out when they started to act like that. "Ok then… why did you surround me?"
"Uh…" in a couple of seconds they were fighting about who would stay by my side. 'Oh goodness… what are this boys thinking?!'
"Boys! Come on… don't you have some fishing to do? If you all get on the same place you won't catch any fish! Now get yourselves distributed and start working on that fishing thing…" I sighed…
Myu-chan was rolling herself on the floor with laughter.
"Oi! Squirt! What are you laughing about?" asked Sanosuke.
"At all of you! You all act so weird near Auntie Kao-chan!"
At Myu-chan's comment I smiled and then sweat dropped clueless at the way the boys react. All of them started to blush, except for Yahiko-kun that muttered something rude and then they all started to do strange things like whistling, mumbling and scratching their heads.
Half an hour latter everything had gone normal and I watched Myu-chan playing with one of my students and the rest of the boys concentrated in their fishing activities. 'Fishing… I haven't fished in the longest time… since…' my moral dropped 'since you died okaa-san…'
The time passed quickly. I gave another look around 'Maybe we should get back… or they'll start worrying… it's almost lunch time…'
"Hey Miss Daisy!" I waved at Myu-chan trying to get her attention.
"Miss what?" 'Uups… I forgot she doesn't know what the Muppets are… hihi… pitty… really funny cartoons…'
"Uh… nothing…" I smiled and cleaned her dirty face with a wet piece of my kimono "We have to get back home… it's almost lunch time." I picked her up 'We'll get quicker if I take her…' then I turned to the boys "You boys should get home too… it's almost lunch time!"
They all nodded and started picking their things.
"Ja ne!" both me and Myu-chan said waving at them and they waved back at us.
--Back at the dojo--
Kenshin's POV
The sun was high on the sky. 'It must be near lunch time…' I had just finished with the laundry 'Maybe I should go and start the lunch… Soujiro and Seta-san are occupied fixing the roof…'
I went to the kitchen and started chopping the vegetables. 'I wonder what's taking Kaoru-dono so long… She's been gone for at least two or three hours now… I sure hope nothing happened to her and Myu-chan. I wouldn't forgive myself…'
I was so caught up with my thoughts that I didn't notice what I was doing.
Kaoru's POV
"We're home!" I put Myuki down. She took off looking for her brother. 'Let's see if I can help with lunch…'
I walked to the kitchen. "Oh… hi Kenshin!" I swallowed all the feelings coming up to me and managed to sound perfectly normal.
He looked completely spaced out. I got near him and waved a hand in front of his eyes. "Hey…" I spoke softly "Kenshin… wake up!"
"Uh…? Wha…?" suddenly he looked at me realizing I was talking to him. "G-gomen… were you saying something Kaoru-dono?" he was blushing mad and that made me a little bit happier.
"Uh… well I said hi… and then…" I stopped. Something caught my eye. "Oh my gosh! Kenshin you cut your finger!"
"I did?" I looked at his finger surprised and without noticing his elbow got near the fire and his gi caught fire.
"Oh my gosh! Kenshin your gi's on fire!"
"It is?" he looked at the elbow "Oro!" he cried.
"Put it out you baka!" I said smacking him on the head 'Hehe… poor Kenshin…'
"Orororororo!" he was quite unable to react so I caught the first recipient with water I saw, which was quite big and put out the firing gi, soaking Kenshin completely.
"Oops…" my hand flew up to my mouth… "Gomen ne…"
"Kaoru-chan, what's going on?"
"Uh… Kenshin had a little accident cooking… he cut his finger and set himself on fire…"
"Ororororooo…"
"Could you finish the lunch for him Sou-kun?"
"Yeah… sure."
"Come on Kenshin…" I said softly taking his good hand on mine "I'm going to help you with those wounds." I felt Sou-kun's gaze following us and somehow felt weird 'Why's everybody acting so weird today?'
We sat on his room. By my side was the first aide box.
"Ouch…" he mumbled when I made a little pressure in his burned spot.
"Gomen…" I passed my hand a little more carefully "How can you not have noticed you were hurting yourself Kenshin?"
"I was… thinking, Kaoru-dono…" he was looking at me, following every gesture of mine while I spread some oil on the burn.
Kenshin's POV
Her movements were gentile and careful. Somehow I couldn't feel the burning on my arm or the cut on my finger… I could only feel my skin burning and aching from the sweetness she touched me.
"It must have been important… for you to be so spaced out…"
"I… was thinking…" I had to make something up and fast… I mean I wasn't just going to tell her I was thinking of her… no not her… our kiss and other things like that! "I was thinking… about how to help you… get back…" the last part was so painful to say "Get back to your time…"
She was bandaging my arm calmly but as I finished the sentence she made a lot more pressure "Ouch…"
She lifted her beautiful innocent eyes to me, they were sad and hurt. I felt my heart melt… I just wanted to kiss her and tell how much I loved her and how I wanted to stay with her forever… demo…
"Oh…" she cast her eyes back to work on the finger now. She finished bandaging the finger and started putting the things she used inside the first aide box.
"Kaoru daijobu?" she lifted her head almost immediately and only then I noticed I had used her name without the honorific.
"C-could you… r-repeat t-that please…?" her eyes were now shining with happiness but sadly I couldn't do that again… it would only make it more difficult for me… to see her leave.
"I asked if you were ok, Kaoru…" I hesitated seeing her expectant look "…dono" I whispered.
She turned away resented. "I'm fine…" She walked to exit the room "You don't need to be such a worry wart!" she tried to light the ambient; she even turned a little and flashed a small smile before she got out.
Normal POV
--At the end of the afternoon--
She hadn't talked to him all afternoon. Somehow Kaoru was avoiding having to talk to him… 'Does he want so badly to get rid of me?' was the thought that kept coming to her mind, her eyes blurred but she stopped the tears before they could fall.
She sat on a rock watching the sun set. Long ago she still remembered when she and her mother watched the sun set. Most of the times waiting for her father to come back from work and go dinner with them. Memories came flooding to her… One certain memory made her widen her eyes. She made herself remember it step by step.
"My… dream…" she lifted her eyes to the now low sun. The sky was tainted in warm colors, red and orange. But there was also violet and fading blue.
"Kaoru-chan…" Soujiro appeared and interrupted her thoughts. She turned her head to give him a smile "May I join you?"
"Yes, sure…"
He leaned against the rock and by doing so his hand hover hers. Kaoru didn't move a muscle just kept looking at the sky and the sun.
"Kaoru…" she turned her head to him "I need to tell you something…"
Kenshin was passing nearby to enter the dojo. He too had gone for a little stroll on the dojo's garden. He heard voices. First Soujiro's and then Kaoru's. He got near the place. He knew it was rude to listen to other people conversations but he couldn't help himself. He could now see them without being seen.
"Go ahead then." She smiled "I won't bite, you know…?"
He saw Soujiro go stand in front of Kaoru, holding her hand. His eyes became amberish. But he kept quiet and still.
"Kaoru… I…" all of a sudden Soujiro found the ground something really interesting to look at. He lifted his eyes once again and continued. He was now staring deeply at her. "When I saw you… uh… when I first saw you…" he gulped "I fell in love with you…" he said in an almost inaudible whisper.
Kaoru had a shocked look in her face but Kenshin couldn't see her face. Also he was too occupied letting anger take over him. He wanted to hear what she had to say…
"Sou-kun…" she was going to start talking.
"No… wait… let me finish!" he breathed hard "When I saw you I thought you were perfect… you're a beautiful girl, about my age and you had just help my sister when you didn't even know her. I saw you had a great heart…" Kenshin fumed. Okay he was right… he agreed with the boy but couldn't help but to feel Soujiro was stealing that moment from him.
"Sou-kun… I…" she lifted her other hand to cup Soujiro's face and then unexpectedly she hugged him. For Kenshin that was enough. He got out of there and went back to the house. He didn't mind changing back to his rurouni self. He was too angry.
Kaoru's hug didn't last long. Then she freed her other hand and cupped both his cheeks. She smiled weakly "Soujiro… Gomen ne… demo…"
He downcast his eyes "It's him, isn't it?"
"Who?"
"Kenshin… you love him, don't you?" his voice was hoarse and for the first time he hadn't a smile on his face.
"Hai…" she whispered "I love him…"
He looked away in pain.
"I know how you feel…" she whispered gently "Believe me… I do…"
He shrugged and lifted his eyes once again. He forced a smile back into his face "Well… I tried…" he said "We can always be friends, can't we?"
"I would never deny a friendship!" she took his hand "Let's go inside. Dinner will be ready any minute."
They walked hand in hand to the dojo and entered the kitchen like that.
Kaoru's POV
I felt sad for Soujiro… because I knew what he felt. I felt the same way when it came to Kenshin…
We entered the kitchen and as we did I felt something was terribly wrong but I couldn't explain why…
Kenshin looked at us entering the room. His eyes fell upon our hands… I gasped 'His eyes! They're… amber!' I let go of Sou-kun's hand. Slowly and got near Kenshin who was now setting the table with Myu-chan's help.
"Kenshin…" I whispered. It was with great shock that I saw him turn his back to me. I backed away felling hurt. The pain on my chest wouldn't be bigger if I had a sword across it.
Everyone sat down. Kenshin didn't talk nor did he eat much. After he finished, he waited for everyone to finish so he could clean the table.
The three men made the dishes and I picked Myu-chan up to take her to her room and put her to sleep.
"There we go…" I said when I finished dressing her with her yukata. "Now… let's put you to sleep…" I took her futon and lay it on the floor.
"Auntie Kao-chan?"
"Hai?"
"Why was Uncle Kenny so weird at dinner?"
I looked at her "I don't know…" I whispered in a low voice "I really don't know…" I kissed her forehead. "Do you want a bedtime story?"
"Hai…"
I started telling a small tale my mother used to tell me when I was her age. It was my favorite.
She fell asleep quickly… she was tired…
I tiptoed my way out and as I turned around and closed the shoji soundlessly I got face on face with Kenshin.
I shivered his eyes kept their amber color but as he laid his gaze on me the color seemed to get even more menacing.
He didn't say anything just kept walking towards his room. I did the same… 'I'm worried about you Kenshin…' I was feeling so depressed 'Why are you acting like this…?'
We both reached our rooms. He begun to enter his room without even saying his goodnights… that hurt me more than I ever imagine such thing would…
"Oyasumi nasai Kenshin…" I tried.
He didn't even stop… worst he closed his shoji the minute I finished the sentence.
'Why are you doing this…?'
The now long suppressed tears began to fall down. I entered my room and closed the shoji behind me…
Then I curled up on the floor crying. Not minding to change to night clothes, to lay the futon or to put the light out. I just cried… because there was nothing else I felt able to do… I cried…
Kenshin's POV
If my heart was already aching, now it had reached its limits… I had never been so rude to anyone… Kaoru-dono doesn't deserve this demo…
I put out the light after dressing my yukata and then sat against the wall facing the shoji.
'She hasn't put her lights out…' I could hear her crying 'Why are you crying? I should be the one crying not you…' I'm being so selfish… I know Kaoru-dono has the right to choose anyone she wants. And… let's face it… Soujiro is much more near her age then I am! I continued hearing her cry. 'I should go comfort her…' but I didn't move. I couldn't… hear her cry was painful but it was a way of punishing my own selfishness.
I felt Soujiro's presence and soon enough he was facing Kaoru's shoji. Anger rose up once again. I closed my eyes in despair.
"Kaoru-chan… daijobu?" he asked from outside the room.
I heard her force her voice to try sound calm.
"Daijobu… you should go to sleep Sou-kun." She made a stop and breathed shakily "Oyasumi nasai…" and to emphasize her actions she put out the light.
"Oyasumi nasai Kao-chan…" he walked away.
I heard her in her room… she was changing her clothes for sure. I heard the kimono sliding down her silky skin and fall on the floor. I shivered at the thought and pushed them away from my head quickly.
I continued uninterruptedly listening to her movements, like if they were music. She sobbed once and a while but really low not to alert anyone.
After half an hour, or so, her sobs started to increase a little and by the end of an hour I could hear her crying again.
In my heart I just wanted to go there and comfort her but the anger and the jealousy didn't let me.
Sleep soon claimed me but it was a restless sleep.
Kaoru-dono… she was everywhere smiling and laughing. Running around… all images. Good memories. 'She's so beautiful…'
Then pitch black… I turned over and over again. 'Where are you, Kaoru-dono?'
I ran… I ran as quickly as I could.
A door… I saw a door… 'She must be there…' I opened the door carefully.
"Kaoru?" I wanted to apologize to her… "Kaoru are you here?"
Nothing but silence… 'Maybe she's just mad at me…'
"I wanted to apologize for my rude behavior…"
Still nothing… I was starting to doubt she was there.
I gave another step and my feet felt something in the way. I got on my knees… 'What's this?'
I gasped… it was a dead body… bloodied dead body… my hands trembled as I reached to touch the face of the body.
It was a woman… she had long hair… her skin was silky but it was cold… so cold.
I got up… One step back… two steps back…
"It was your fault Kenshin…" it was her voice… it wasn't sweet and warm… it was cold and numb.
"Why couldn't you accept?!" she was all around me… all of the images of her were dead bodies… bloodied…
"No…" I stepped back and my back went against something. I turned around… there she was…
"Yes… look!" and she reached for my forehead and touched it with her icy fingertips.
Images flooded my head… I fell on my knees… I'd killed her because of my jealousy! I had killed her… killed the woman I loved…
Hot salty tears fell down my face…
I woke up. Panting desperately… gasping for air… I cleaned my tears…
'Kaoru…' I got up and almost ran out of my room 'Kaoru… don't be dead… please don't be dead.'
I opened her shoji and entered the room closing it behind me. My heart was racing like mad and I almost had and heart attack when I saw her lying on the floor curled up.
I fell on my knees as close as I could get to her. I touched her face gently… it was warm… I breathed out in relieve. She hadn't laid her futon and she her cried herself to sleep.
I felt an urgent need to hold her in my arms… a need I couldn't deny myself…
I gathered her in my arms and held her tight against me. She let out a sigh of contentment. 'You're probably thinking Soujiro's holding you…' I thought painfully but then I smiled gently 'You deserve to be happy… and if Soujiro's the one that makes you happy.' I stopped 'Then I support you… like I promised I would…'
She hid her face in my chest. I stood like that for a couple of minutes then I put her on the floor and got her futon. I laid it on the floor and put her sleeping form there. I tucked her in and whispered "Gomen nasai Kaoru…" I stopped 'It will stay like this, de gozaru…' I smiled and got out of the room closing the shoji behind me.
Me: Well I hope you liked it… first I was somewhat unsure whether to end the chapter her or to continue a little more further… but I decided to end it here… you see now I'll have to be extra careful with what I write… cause I might end up screwing the plot up if I write in lightheaded…
Anyway I got to go… I have to go tutoring a friend of mine… he asked me to clear some of is English doubts and other subjects doubts cause he's going to make some exams this month! I'm glad I can help… but gosh! I'm soooo damn tired… just to think that I have to go to his house on foot… it's at least a 20 to 30 min walk!
Remember to review… and this time… I'm giving neither candy nor chocolate or I'll go bankrupt! xx
Ja ne!
