"You know…"
"Yes?"
"You're a genius, right?"
"So I've been told."
"Invented countless amazing, mind-boggling doohickeys, saved millions of lives with your brilliant suggestions and ideas…"
Sam smiled.
"Yeah…"
"So tell me, genius woman…" Jack said, looking up from what he was doing. "Why haven't you invented some easy, clean and far less stinky way to change Mr. Poopy Britches, yet?"
"And spoil your fun?"
Jack gave her a look that did nothing but make Sam smile, and she handed him a new diaper, taking the very stinky and messy one he'd just stripped off their son. Jake wriggled a little, but Jack simply put his hand on the infant's belly, easily containing that portion and knowing if he had that part under control the rest of the baby wasn't going anywhere.
"Just think of it as your chance to bond with him," Sam said, rolling up the soiled diaper and tossing it in the diaper holder thing in the corner, then watching as Jack deftly put the clean diaper on the squirming baby one-handed. He was definitely better at it than Sam was – although she had plenty of practice as well.
Jack snorted, and picked up Jack, cradling him against his chest. The baby was still a month from his due date, but he'd grown considerably since he'd been born and was catching up to the normal size of babies his age. Still tiny and fragile, but nowhere near as tiny as he'd been, and still holding a clean bill of health from all his doctors.
"We'll bond at ball games and playing catch," Jack told her, running his free hand along the diaper to make sure it was snug but not pinching. "You find me a machine to change him."
She smiled, and went over and sat on the sofa, running her hand along Jaffer's silky shoulder. The lab rolled over, more than willing to get some attention, and showing her where he wanted scratched. Sam complied, rubbing his belly while Jack came over and settled beside her, Jake already starting to fall asleep now that his wet diaper problem had been solved.
"I-"
The phone rang, interrupting what Sam was going to say, and Jack reached out for it since he was closer. God forbid anyone stop rubbing Jaffer's belly once they got started, after all.
"Hello?"
"Jack, it's Ian."
He smiled, looking over at Sam.
"Ian. I was just thinking of you."
"Yeah? Let me guess… you had to change Jake?"
The New Yorker's drawl was amused.
"How did you know?"
"Lucky guess."
"Ask him if he wants to come to dinner," Sam said.
"Sam wants to know if you want to come to dinner?"
Ian made a noise Jack couldn't quite decipher.
"Well, I'd love to Jack… only I'm stuck up in the mountains behind a solid wall of snow with no way out until the DOT cleans the shit off the road tomorrow morning."
"What?"
"Andrew Stephens and I came up to his grandparents' lodge to check it out, and apparently the DOT sent a note saying they were going to do avalanche control in the mail – which they never received – and they blocked the fucking road with a shitload of snow that they're not going to clear out until tomorrow."
"Are you guys alright?"
Sam's eyes grew concerned. She, of course, could only hear Jack's side of the conversation. He smiled, though, to reassure her that what was going on wasn't serious, and her concern faded just a little.
"Yeah, we're fine. There's electricity and Andrew says there's plenty of food, but we're going to be up here until at least tomorrow afternoon. He already called his mom, but I need you to call and let Teal'c know, because we were supposed to meet him this evening and-"
"Andrew's with you?"
"Yeah."
"Why not have him call up Thor and beam you guys back to the SGC – or even here if you need to?"
"I'm not leaving my car up here."
Jack smiled. Of course he wasn't.
"You need anything?"
"I'd say a helicopter," Ian said. "But apparently you can't use a helicopter in the mountains when they're already worried about avalanches – unless it's an emergency, which this isn't."
Besides, Ian didn't have any desire to fly. Not even in a helicopter.
"We could have them drop you in some Big Macs," Jack said, grinning. He'd do no such thing, of course, but the situation was far more amusing than it was dangerous – especially if they had power. The lodge was hardly a decrepit building, after all, and was really very luxurious. It wouldn't kill Ian to be stuck there for a day.
Ian snorted.
"Just call Teal'c for me, okay?"
"Okay."
"And see if Daniel will go feed the fish in the morning."
"Okay."
"Thanks."
"You'll be out of there tomorrow?"
"If I have to hook Andrew up to a harness and mush out," Ian said, his voice amused enough that Jack knew Andrew had to be in the room with him and listening in on his half of the conversation.
"Call me if you run into any problems," Jack ordered. "And let me know when you're on your way back."
"Okay."
Ian hung up, and Jack put the phone back down on the base, then looked at Sam.
"What's up?" She asked.
"You'll never believe where Ian is…"
OOOOOOOO
"I'm really sorry about this…"
Ian hung the phone back onto the wall mount and looked over at Andrew. He shrugged.
"No need to be. It's not your fault."
"It was my idea, though."
"Yeah, but it was a good idea. Just bad timing."
"I didn't know about the-"
Ian held up his hand to stop Andrew. He wasn't really all that pissed off about being stuck – although if he'd been stuck up here with someone he didn't like it might have been another story completely.
"Don't worry about it. Just tell me you know how to cook…"
Andrew shrugged.
"We have canned stuff… how hard can it be?"
