Disclaimer: The contents of this fanfiction does not reflect the views of the authoress. Any insulting(s) aimed at any of the mentioned character(s) is done solely by the main character of this fanfiction (Roy).
Sunday, May 30, 2004
I decided to keep a journal of my experiences at the Smash Mansion. Let me tell you, it's pretty cool, yet chaotic at times. It DOES resemble this TV show called The Real World, exnay the alcohol, cheating, and... you get the picture. BUT there's more fighting! What's a Smash Bros. without fighting? I'll tell you what: BOR-RING!
Let me tell you a little about myself (no, I'm NOT vain! If you wanna see vain, go down the page a bit!). My name is Roy and I'm from Pherae, in the League of Lycia. I have fire-red hair that's all spiked all over the place. I also have blue eyes. I'm pretty much your typical teenager, but not so typical in some ways.
For example, how many typical teenagers do you know are generals? Yes, I'm a general! There was that one time when my father got real sick, so I had to take charge of his army. Since then, I'm been given the title of general.
Also, how many typical teenagers do you know have really unusual mixed ethnicities? I mean something like half-dragon, half-human. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking something along the lines, "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE A GENETICALLY ALTERED HUMAN CLONE MONSTER GODZILLA FREAK OF NATURE THAT'S BENT ON WORLD DOMINATION BY CORRUPTING PEOPLE INTO FOLLOWING CRAZY LOW-CARBOHYDRATE NONSENSE LIKE THAT ATKINS STUFF!!!" I don't blame you. I DO get kinda weird reactions when I tell people that I'm half-dragon. The correct term for a half-dragon person is mamkute. No, I don't look like a Spung (I'm a Space Cases nutcase, so sue me!) at all; I look just like any other human being. I just can't stand cold weather. Just like a normal reptile (What? You didn't think that big bad dragons would fall under the reptile catagory?).
Wanna know a really weird thing about me? I have pyromania. No, it's not some horrible incurable disease that'll leave me severely bedridden. Pyromania is an uncontrollable urge to set things on fire. I've always been fascinated by fire for who knows how long. That doesn't mean that I'm schizophanic or a criminal or any other negative lables. I just really like fire alot.
Ok, I've just heard a certain girl who's reading over my shoulder call me "vain" for writing four paragraphs about myself. Lemme introduce you to my "genderly challenged" best friend, Marth. This is where you should start reading at if you're looking for vain-ness. Why'd I call Marth "genderly challenged"? Well, although he's a guy, he gets mistakened for a girl a lot (i.e. many times a day, every single day in his entire life). Plus acting very femimine doesn't quite help him when he tells people that he's a boy. Scary thing is that one of his three favorite colors is pink. IT'S TRUE! According to Marth, they are "Cobalt blue, Gothic black, and Kirby pink". KIRBY PINK?! I guess he means a really girly shade of pink. Oh, and he always, ALWAYS fluffs his hair! Quite girly, if you ask me. Hahahahaha--Ow! I just got slapped by a girly-b-- STOP IT!!! Geez, that hurts!
If you get a dictionary and look up the word "vain", you'll see Marth's picture next to it. Yes, he's SUPER, SUPER vain! Don't believe me? Well then, take a look at this: He carries one of those dumb little compact make- up things because they have a mirror in them so that he can look at himself wherever he goes.STILL don't believe me? He has an anxiety attack whenever his hair gets even SLIGHTLY messed up, if he gets a tiny scratch or mark on his face, if his clothes get SLITGHTLY dirty, etc.
Speaking of that last one, that reminds me of another funny thing about ol' Marth(a). He's a major, MAJOR neat-freak. I'm talking about The Neat-Freak of Spooky Doom From Heck. His motto is "Order! Order, I say!". I believe he said that to me one time. I mean, he yelled that at me to straighten something up. I think he needs to check himself into an asylum because that's just not right. He just retorted with "Oh, so you're saying that randomly setting fire to stuff is completely normal? As if!". Ow! And he just hit me again!
Think Marth's the only crazy one here? That's where you're sooooooooo wrong! All the Smashers are nuts! Luigi thinks he's neglected because his older brother Mario is the star. Link has a little Mini-Me running around (raising Heck, no doubt). Mewtwo is an evil Psychic Pokémon who's Dr. Phil by day (He works as a "psychologist" while Dr. Mario is the main doctor) and some crazed dictator-wannabe by night. Mr. Game & Watch... well, let's just say that there's nothing sane about a 2-D person who's cooking can give indigestion to Yoshi and Kirby (and myself!). Zelda's a tomboy who goes by the alias "Shiek" when she's dressed as a boy. Samus... oh my God, DON'T get me started on her "Magical Girl Pretty Sammy" nonsense! (I've read her online journal once and her username's "Magical Girl Pretty Sammy". That's kinda where I got the idea of keeping a (off-line) journal.)
I think I'll write in this later. I'll jot down something interesting if it comes up. I think I'll keep this nice bright red gel pen. This belongs to Marth, though. He has TONS of gel pens in different colors. I'm quite fond of this red one, though. I'll just stick it in my pocket (with the little packet of matches I always keep in there) and he'll never know... G'Night!
—Roy
{In a neater handwriting written in pink ink}
Bah, Roy's just making stuff up about me. I'm NOT girly AT ALL! Plus there's no law saying that it's illegal for a man to like pink. If there was, then it should also say that it's illegal for a woman to like blue (to keep it even).
—Marth
