Chapter 4: Bowing out gracefully

Jim burbled into the Starwind and Hawlkin Enterprises building, the door almost flew off its hinges as it clanged loudly against the metal wall with force, Aisha was startled by the noise as she was thoroughly engrossed with her action novel.

Suzuka however simply looked up from her tea.

"What is it Jim?" she spoke carefully, looking over.

"Haven't you heard the news?" Jim said out of breath, he must have run all the way here.

"Heard what?" Aisha chimed in.

"Gene and Melfina...there engaged", Jim said with pure glee.

Aisha jumped up and down happily dancing around with Jim.

Suzuka paled, as if she'd just been shot, she felt sick to her stomach and her legs had gone weak at the knees, however for all that, she retained her composure and simple said - "I will retire to my room, if you'll excuse me"

She wasn't even sure if Jim and Aisha heard her for all there celebrating, she quickly climbed the stairs holding onto the sides for support, as soon as she reached her private quarters, her sanctuary, she cracked.

She burst into tears first, the hot salty water running down her cheeks in uncontrollable streams. She'd never really faced the possibility she might loose him before now, she knew it could happen and that they would eventually marry if their relationship went well but not so soon, not yet.

Any hope she had for a relationship with Gene was now gone, destroyed like a single flame smothered in a tidal wave, extinguishing it completely. Next came the vomiting, she felt a sudden urge in her stomach and grabbed the bucket next to her bed, as soon as it was beneath her, she threw up into it.

She heaved and vomited more of that vile clumpy white substance piling into the bucket leaving an acidic taste in her mouth. She smiled to herself a little sniffling. 'So much for breakfast' she thought referring to the rice and green tea that now decorated the floor and inside of the container.

Her stomach now feeling better she placed the bucket back by the side of the bed for cleaning later, right now she didn't want to face the world, even the trip to the bathroom to clean out her bucket would require more will than she currently possessed.

She didn't want to be alone, she didn't want to feel empty, she didn't want anyone to enact vengeance on Gene or Melfina after all they deserved to be happy all she wanted was to be ok and to be loved.

It was amazing her was Twilight Suzuka, the Ultra class A assassin, cold killer and yet underneath that mask, behind all her barriers she was just a woman, like any other, a woman in love with a man she could not have - a man who would never know.

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Gene walked through the streets of Heiphong with Melfina hand in hand there were both very happy. When Gene had proposed it came as a complete surprise to everyone least of al Gene, but it jest felt right, and the Starwind way was "if you're going to do something, do it big" and that's exactly what happened.

Jim was the first to know, He'd told him just after Melfina said yes, Gene would have sworn Jim was happier than he was, if that was possible. The last few months spent with Melfina have been the happiest of his life and the sex was great. Melfina had been a little submissive at first, but now she had real fire when they made love.

Melfina even found she preferred to be on top. She found that she liked being in control, being strong and Gene was more than happy to give that to her.

Melfina looked a lot like a younger version of Hilda but her mannerisms were different, Gene could imagine Melfina being perhaps what Hilda might have been like before she lost her arm and her eye. Naïve, open, caring, not the cynical close hearted distrustful person he met her as.

Everything with Hilda was fast, even the sex, that wasn't knocking Genes stamina or manliness it was simply how Hilda was. Melfina was slow and easygoing. Not like anyone Gene had slept with before.

Gene glanced at the shop windows as they past by them his eye catching one in particular that carried handcuffs and light bondage equipment. 'I wonder if Mel would be willing to...' Gene's thought was cut off.

"Gene, what are you thinking?" Melfina asked.

Gene turned to look at her "Huh? What? - Nothing", Gene answered however still retained a perverted grin.

"I know that look Gene Starwind, your planning something aren't you?" Melfina spoke.

"No honest Mel not planning anything", Gene said as he stopped walking and pulled her close to him, encircling his arms around her waist.

"I love you Mrs Starwind", Gene said as he kissed her and moved his one hand onto her rear rubbing it gently, then breaking the kiss.

"I love you too Gene but..." Melfina cut herself off.

"What is it Mel?" he asked concerned.

Melfina looked away blushing visible then whispered "People are looking at us"

Gene and Mel laughed loudly at the attention the passers by were giving them.

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Jim and Aisha sat on the Sofa watching TV but neither of them were really interested in what was on, it was just a distraction so they wouldn't have to try and make convocation with each other. It had been like this for the last few weeks, sometimes they were great together and talked all the time, others they avoided each other like the plague then there were the few times like these.

Both wanting to speak, neither of them actually talking or making the first move and so the TV became the focus of attention. It wasn't just the Tv though, sometimes it was Jim's computer work others it was Aisha's reading. It was an escape; so they could pretend that their attentions were elsewhere and not have to deal with the uncomfortable silence.

"So..." Jim spoke up finally, trying to break the ice

"So..." Aisha responded turning to look at Jim hoping that there convocation on days like this would somehow get past this point. Jim turned back to the TV unable to continue Aisha however was not going to give up so easily.

"Say Jim, how do you do it?" Aisha asked.

"Do what?" Jim blushed thinking he had a good idea of what "IT" Aisha meant and no way was he giving the Birds and the bee's story.

"Marriage, how do you do it?" Aisha clarified much to Jim's Relief.

"Well apparently two people who love each other go to a church to get married, exchanging rigs and vows to be with each other forever", Jim Said.

"I see...why?" Aisha asked.

"Well...I don't know, it's always been like that I guess, how do C'tarl C'tarl do it?" Jim asked following Aisha's lead now they had a dialog going.

"Marriage? - We don't per-say, we have a ceremony of Linking souls I guess you could call marriage, where two C'tarl C'tarl partake of the ancestors chalice and then swap blood by cutting the palms of there hand and forever binding them together." Aisha spoke nodding for emphasise

Jim nodded in understanding Aisha smiled at him softly. "Do you have anyone waiting for you at home?" he asked.

"No" Aisha shook her head with an almost distant look in her eyes "I have my duty to the empire, doesn't leave much room for love really", she finished sadly.

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Suzuka walked from the bathroom, she had just cleaned her bucket and relived herself, she was a mess, her normally well-kept hair was matted and frizzy and Her eyes were bloodshot.

She returned to her room, locking the door behind her she did not want to be disturbed at a time like this all she wanted was to be alone but at the same time she wanted to be held.

She wanted to be angry but she wasn't, she wanted to feel justified but she wasn't. She heard Gene and Melfina return and the sound of a Champaign cork being popped filled the downstairs floor for a moment as Aisha and Jim cheered for the 'happy couple'

She wiped her eyes dry, fixed her hair and her clothing, she decided perhaps to against he better judgement to make an appearance and congratulate them. It was time now to bow out gracefully and exit stage left.

Authors Notes: Well kids it's been a while since I updated this sorry for that and this was a nice size chapter too so worth the wait? Lots of angst for Suzuka here this MIGHT be the last chapter for Suzuka's secret, I could seriously end it here now where I've left it though it would end on a rather sad note though not all endings are happy my own life experience tells me that. I'll let you decide if you want me to continue this or not.