Thanks to all who read and reviewed my work. I greatly appreciate it. Sorry it has taken me so long to update but I have been quite busy with the dreaded real life. You know it has to rear its ugly head now and again to keep us on our toes. I hope you like this part and I will be adding new stories as I finish with them. In the future I intend to only post completed stories. Thanks again for the reviews.
Chapter 5
Obi-Wan slowly walked back to his cot, Qui-Gon trailing after him. He quietly lay down on the cot. Qui-Gon gently covered him with a blanket and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze just to let him know he was there if he needed to talk.
"Master..."Obi-Wan broke off uncertain how to start.
"It's OK Obi-Wan we can talk later when you have recuperated some."Qui-Gon said incorporating as much kindness and love into his voice.
Obi-Wan bolted up from the cot and angrily said, "No Master it's not OK. What's wrong with me? Why am I able to do things other Jedi cannot?..." Obi-Wan stopped as a sudden horrifying vision came to him."Oh no...no... that's why he hated me. No wonder, he had every reason to hate me, everybody does. I...I nearly killed him."
Seeing the fear and shattered expression on Obi-Wan's face tore at Qui-Gon's heart. Reaching out for his padawan he did the only thing he felt he could do. He wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan and held him as his padawan's strong emotional resolve finally broke and he cried uncontrollably for what seemed like an eternity. Suddenly, as quickly as it started it ended with Obi-Wan trying desperately to get out of his Master's embrace.
"Master, please let me go. This behavior is totally unacceptable. It is not the behavior of a Jedi. I will do better Master, just let me go."
"No Obi-Wan not this time. Not until we have straightened some things out. First, I would never, ever send you away. I don't know why you think I would. Nothing that you say or do will ever make me want to "get rid of you" as you put it. You are not some stray that I picked up and can not keep..."
"You say that but you don't know what I have done. How I have shamed both you and the Jedi Order. I can't believe they let me stay this long. They should have banished me for the protection of the entire Order,"Obi-Wan ranted. "Master, You are wrong in one aspect, I am a freak. No one else in the Order can do the things I do so that makes me a freak, more than that Master, it makes me dangerous. Now, if you don't mind I am very tired. I just want to go to sleep."
"Stop this Obi-Wan, stop this now. You are not a freak and you definately are not dangerous. Yes, you are right that no one else can do the things you do and that's what makes you so special..."
"I don't want to be special, I just want to be like everybody else. Can't you just understand that?" Obi-Wan yelled at his Master.
"Calm down Obi-Wan, just calm down..."
"I don't want to calm down and I don't want to be special and I wish I had never came to this planet."Yelled Obi-Wan as he force shoved his Master away from him sending him tumbling off the cot dazed. Obi-Wan then jumped up from the cot,stared at his Master lying on the floor and ran past Mace Windu trying to get as far away from his Master and what he had done. Having seen what had just happened Mace reached out to try and stop him but Obi-Wan side stepped out of reach and ran out of the building. Qui-Gon was just beginning to stagger to his feet as Mace ran over to help his friend.
"Qui, What the hell is going on here?"
"I do believe that perverbial dam that you talked about has just broken," Qui-Gon quipped.
"Are you OK? He shoved you pretty hard. All I saw when I looked up was arms and legs going in every imaginable direction."
"Yes I'm fine old friend. Now let's go get my wayward apprentice before he can hurt himself."
Mace and Qui-Gon serched for several hours and were beginning to think Obi-Wan had simply vanished into thin air. It was beginning to get dark and they were losing hope of finding him before the temperatures started dropping.
"Qui we need to go back to the hospital and get some lights before it gets dark and we can't find our way back."
"Maybe you're right Mace," he stated despondently.
"Qui, we're being watched from that building over to the right. I believe it's Obi-Wan. I sensed him earlier but the signature kept fading in and out, like he's trying to cloak his signature but can't control the cloak. Qui, Let's keep walking as if we didn't sense anything, then we'll circle around to the back of the building and catch him off guard, then try to help him together."
"I sensed him too. He's so confused right now. He's got so many emotions running rampant right now and he's trying to control something he doesn't have the strenght to control. At least I can sense him now. He had been shutting me out but, with his crumbling emotional state his shields are also crumbling. "
Mace and Qui-Gon continued walking and rounded the corner to the back of the building. They quietly entered the building from a broken door. As soon as they were inside, the smell of rotting flesh nearly overcame them. They moved slowly in the direction that Obi-Wan was in. As they peered through an open door the site that befell them was heart-wrenching. Obi-Wan was kneeling on the ground holding a person that had obviously been dead for quite some time, the flesh nearly completely decayed away. It appeared to be ,from the size, the body of a child. Tears flowing freely down his cheeks. The two Jedi Masters just stared at each other in disbelief and quietly stepped through the door so as not to startle Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon began to step forward to comfort his Padawan but was stopped by Mace.
"What are you doing Mace? I have to help him."
"Let him come to you Qui. He is at the end of his emotional rope and he's going to have to reach out for you."
Obi-Wan jumped when he heard their voices but didn't get off the floor from his kneeling position. He turned sorrow filled eyes toward the Masters and said, "It's so unfair Masters. Why did all of this have to happen? These people...these children didn't deserve to die...children never deserve to die. It's all so senseless."
Before either of the Masters had a chance to answer the apparition of a young girl appeared before them. Her form was surrounded by a bright light and a peaceful felling could be felt throughout the bombed out building.
"Yes Obi-Wan it is I, Aileen. You must not blame yourself for the deaths of my people. You did not cause their deaths. If anything, you gave them peace in their last hours. You give without thought of yourself. You have saved so many people but all you see in yourself is the things you were unable to do."
"I saved no one. I only made them sleep so they wouldn't suffer anymore."
"Obi-Wan, she is right. You have saved so many. Think of the countless number of people you saved before Master Windu and myself got to the hospital. You say you saved no one? Well what about me Obi-Wan? If it wasn't for you I know I would not have survived that blast to the hospital. More than that you saved me the day you came into my life on the way to Bandomeer. Obi-Wan, it was not you personally why I didn't want to take you as my Padawan then. I was afraid...afraid of the pain in my heart cause by Zanatos' turning. I was afraid that if I let you into my heart you would hurt me also. The pain and my stubborness made me keep you at a distance from my heart. I was so afraid of being hurt again that I hurt you and made you so insecure. Obi-Wan I love you and would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. You are special, not because of your abilities but because of what you have inside. There is so much light flowing through you that no amount of darkness can ever get to you. You are so much wiser in the ways of the Living Force than I ever gave you credit for," Qui-Gon said, inflicting all of his love into his voice and miving to kneel beside Obi-Wan.
"Obi-Wan, it is time for me to go. I just wanted to return long enough to return some of the kindness you showed to me and my people. Listen to your Master, he is speaking from his heart. He does love you Obi-Wan."
Slowly Aileen faded away. When she had completely faded from view Obi-Wan gently lay the body of the dead child gently on the ground beside of him. He turned towards his Master and looked into his blue eyes. He held the gaze briefly then fell into his Master. Qui-Gon immediately wrapped his big arms tightly around his Padawan. Both Master and Padawan let all emotional barriers drop.
"Master, I am so sorry I kept shutting you out. I never..."
"Shh Obi-Wan, it is I who is sorry. You have done nothing but make me proud to have you as my Padawan. If I wasn't such a stubborn old fool I would have seen it a long time ago..."
"Master, will you help me to understand why I am able to do the things others cannot?"
Qui-Gon looked at Mace who simply nodded his head.
"When the time is right young one. Right now we need to get you back to Healer Trudeau or he'll have my hide."
The last statement elicited a laugh from Obi-Wan.
"Master, one more thing...You're not old...stubborn, but not old. Now... Master Windu... he's another story," Obi-Wan said, a smile on his face that still didn't quite reach his eyes.
"What do you mean OLD. Qui-Gon is the one with all that gray hair you know," Mace jumped in defending his honor.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan gave him a quizical look and burst out laughing.
"What? What are you two laughing at?"
"Is that why you shaved your head Master Windu? So no one can tell if you have any gray hair?" Obi-Wan said, laughing hysterically when he finished the sentence.
