Sorry this one took a little bit longer.
Thanks to those who did review though
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Chapter 7
Round Two- Part II Realizations
Ross aimlessly meandered around the illuminated night sky of new York city. He had to get out of that apartment, he couldn't face everyone after Rachel had left like that. Tonight had been a memorable night to say the least, but then again when wasn't it with her?
This was one of those nights that Ross wished he had just kept his mouth shut. But he couldn't. He knew that he couldn't...he couldn't control was he was feeling, anger, jealousy, and love all wrapped up together.
She was Rachel. She was his everything, still was, always had, been and he was convinced that she always would remain as such.
As Ross passed by a costume shop he couldn't help but smile as memories flooded back to him." Im shipping off tonight" "Well then we better make it count" Ross shook his head with a grin, they made it count alright.
He thought back to the events that happened earlier and sighed. He had no idea that Rachel actually wanted all of those things, a family, marriage he would have been more than glad to comply with them. But it would never happen now. He had lost her, forever. He had confessed his love to her, and she did nothing. Part of him almost believed that when he told her that she would take him back. He realized now how stupid he was being, it was obvious to him that she couldn't do that to...Matthew. "Lucky bastard"Ross mumbled to himself as he entered his apartment building. "He doesn't even realized what he has".
Rachel found herself standing outside of Matthew apartment still trying to recompose herself before she could enter.
She sighed and dried her eyes. She couldn't believe she got into yet another fight with Ross over the same stupid thing. It was like they were dating again-only without the sex, constantly fighting the same argument never wanting to see the other ones side. She didn't have that with Matthew, He didn't disagree with much of anything, and oddly enough it was something that Rachel missed, Ross fighting with her expressed a sense of passion and strong beliefs…where as with Matthew he would agree with just about anything.
Knocking on the door she calmed down a bit. She had to get past that right now and forget about it. She was sure that Matthew had an amazing evening planned for the two of them…after all it was her birthday. As Matthew opened the door she smiled at him as she felt butterflies in her stomach. He let out a bashful grin, that reminded Rachel of a little kid's and wrapped him arms around her giving her a soft kiss on the lips, breaking away but still holding Rachel he smiled" Happy Birthday Baby"
Rachel grinned back. She was happy. "Thanks Matty" she said in a playful way.
Matthew began to pull her into the room, nibbling on her neck as he did so, which drove Rachel crazy.
Matthews apartment was by far one of the most organized of any guys she had ever seen apart from Ross'. The main room was decorated in warm deep reds and browns, that really made you feel as sense of home as soon at your eye caught a look in the room.
" So your early" he whispered in between kissing her.
Kissing him back she shortly pulled away to look into his deep blue eyes "Is that a problem?" She said seductively.
Matthew gave her that boyish grin again "No, not at all I was just wondering why you were two hours early" he replied while letting out a small chuckle.
Rachel grinned "Eh, lunch was over early and I thought what better than to surprise my boyfriend?" She lied, and then licked her lips "Besides…I could think of some ways to pass the time" She said wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Really?" Matthew said in a questioning, almost asking for permission way. As let his hand slide down the back of her skirt massaging her ass.
Letting out a small moan Rachel replied "ohh yeah" She then placed her hands on the back of his head letting her fingers roam through his blonde locks, as she kissed him passionately letting her tongue collide with his.
She didn't even know what she was doing right now, but it felt right. At first she had thought that she was doing all of this just to get back at Ross in some sick way…was that how he felt with Chloe…or could it have been the fact that she hadn't had sex since her break up with him? But at this point Rachel had realized that it was much more, so much more. It actually felt right.
Matthew then glided her onto the dark red couch still never breaking the kiss, his hands now running up and down the back of her shirt. He then began sucking on her neck, as Rachel giggled, she loosened her arms from around his waist and began unbuttoning his black silk shirt, she got about halfway down the shirt as Matthew pulled away from where he was occupied. he smiled at her.
He reached for her hand "Why don't we go" He nodded his head towards his bedroom, while standing up pulling her with him.
Rachel nodded, and allowed him to lead the way into his room..
Rachel sat on the bed and looked up at Matthew who was standing in front of her, his shirt halfway undone so Rachel could see his defined chest and abdomen, which she had to admit was quite a turn on. Smiling at him and grabbing onto the ends of his shirt she cleared her throat "So, um, where were we then?"
Matthew grinned back at her and knelt down to so he was eye level with her, and pecked her lips lightly "Right about here" he said as he undid the first button on her blouse.
Rachel then took her attention back to his shirt, as she finished unbuttoning it. It was then that she really noticed for the first time just how built his was. 'good one Rach' the shallow girl inside of her mentally noted.
Once his shirt was off he pushed her down onto the bed and began to work on her own shirt, after each button was undone he kissed her chest all the way down to her belly button where he stopped, and sat her up a bit before pulling the shirt out from under her.
He stopped and just deeply stared at her for a moment as she laid there with her hair sprawled out across his black sheets only in her bra and skirt. "You really are beautiful Rach. Have I ever told you that" He said running his hand down her side.
"Not recently" Rachel said with a small smile before leaning up and kissing him softly. She laid there for a while at Matthew began to kiss little areas all over her body. He slipped his hands behind her back and unhooked her bra.
At this point Rachel grew stiff, which went unnoticed by Matthew, who began to work at her skirt. Rachel's mind was rushing processing a million different thoughts a minute. Could she go through with this? She knew that she wanted it…but somehow all of this it didn't feel right anymore, or else she wouldn't have gotten so tense. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, feeling her skirt fall off her she felt Matthews hands reach at the back of her bra again, he paused and looked her in the eyes before diving down for another kiss in which Rachel pulled away from quickly. With one hand he brushed a lock of hair that had come down on top of her face. He locked contact with her crystal blues once again and said what Rachel was hoping he would not. "I love you Rachel. So much…You know that right?"
All Rachel could do was stare at him, she couldn't manage to pull herself away from his trance, it was as if Matthew eyes were pleading her to say something back.
"I- I" Rachel mumbled. She then pushed Matthew off of her and sat up, refastening her bra.
"What" Matthew asked confused placing a hand on her thigh.
Rachel felt horrible. Like she had been leading him on all along…but she had never really realized it until tonight. "I cant do this." Rachel whispered.
"Do you need more time?" Matthew asked concerned. "Rachel, Ill wait as long as I have to."
He was so sweet. Rachel almost regretted telling him what she had to next. She didn't want to give him up. " Matthew, god I don't even know how to say this." Rachel paused and looked up at him, he want already hanging on her every word. "I don't think I could be with you anymore…"
"What did I do? Can we fix this- whatever it is?" Matthew asked softly.
Normally she would just make up some detailed story on what was wrong with her, or their relationship, but Rachel couldn't do that to Matthew. He deserved better. He needed to hear the truth. "Its nothing you did honey, and its nothing that I wanted." Rachel began playing with a ring on her finger-nervous habit. " Its just, well you know Ross. Lately Ive been having these…these feelings for him again, actually I don't think they ever went away."
Matthew looked down. This crushed Rachel, she really didn't want to break up with this guy, its was just that it wasn't fair to either one of them if Rachel kept going on pretending all was right. As much as Ross had hurt her before, it didn't change the fact that she still loved it. It was there all along and Rachel knew it, her love had never died.
Placing her hand on Matthews shoulder she asked "are you going to be okay?"
Matthew gave her a weak smile "Yeah…sure. I mean Its going to be hard- your some girl Rachel"
Rachel gave him a weak smile.
"Well you better go…its already what like 8?" Matthew said giving up.
Rachel leaned over and kissed him on the cheek before getting up. She picked up her scattered clothes around the room and quickly put them back on her body, all while Matthew laid on his bed just staring at the ceiling.
She hated that she did this to him. She walked over and stood in front of him. "Im really sorry. Look if I didn't have feeling for Ross we could have been gre-"
Matthew shook his head "Shah…please don't say that. Just promise me that if things don't work out between you and Ross, youll consider me"
Rachel nodded her head and walked towards his bedroom door. She turned around to face him one last time "Bye Matty" she whispered. She waited a minute for his reply and when he said nothing she took it as her signal to leave.
She had to find him. And explain it all.
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Okay so one more chapter left
Please Read and Review guys.
I have to have the whole Matthew thing without I fight, I think I liked him, if I had don't things differently I would have had the story run on longer so he could have been in it more lol.
Wow Im a dork.
