Exert from Old Methuselah's book, "There, back, there, back again, there
again, forgot my watch so I had to go back, but did eventually get there,
only to find that it was totally unnecessary, so I went back again":
Concerning Redwall Abbey dwellers
Abbey dwellers tend to be made of several creatures, mostly mice (not those fancy pants ranger mice from up north, but nice ordinary mice). We also contain moles, hedgehogs, the occasional otter, and sometimes one of those squirrel critters.
Abbey folk tend to be peaceful and don't go messing with things that don't require messing around with. They are content to help any odd creature that happens to stumble by and leave it at that.
We do, however, have many a grand feast, which usually happens at least once a season, or unless some thing special happens, like a brother or sister going out, hacking up some vermin scum, and then coming back. This happens less frequently now, and now we are mostly peaceful."
Methuselah: (backing up from his writing chair and putting down his pen) And I suppose it shall continue to be so.
Random voice: Oh, now THAT was a good parting line!
Methuselah: Thank you. It took me all night to think it up.
Random Voice: Well, it shows! I mean, it sort of filled you with a sort of a, "Feel sorry for the speaker yet still are curious to know what he's talking about", sort of thing.
Methuselah: Thanks. And soon we should have the scene change to find Brome sitting under a tree right about...
(Scene change. We find young Brome sitting under a tree watching the world go by. Suddenly, he hears humming! Thinking he knows who this is, he dashes to the road to find a bent and gray looking creature on it.)
Brome: You're late.
Ballaw: Phaw! I'm not late, old chap! I'm simply off my set time by a little!
Brome: No seriously, you were supposed to be here two days ago.
Ballaw: Really? How did that happen? Aw yes, I was fighting off two very large foxes when suddenly...
Brome: Fibber.
Ballaw: Fine. I fell over a tree root and knocked myself unconscious. How humiliating.
Brome: At any rate, (flings himself at Ballaw in a complete mood swing) it's WONDERFUL to see you again!
Ballaw: Whoa, steady on there! I can't handle having creatures throwing their entire body weights at me!
Brome: Yet you can move your gut from one table to the next.
Ballaw: Touché. Now then, how's old Methuselah? I haven't seen him in at least 5 seasons.
Brome: Well, you know Methuselah.
Ballaw: You mean he still beats up on voles?
Brome: Yeah. We thought he gave it up.
Ballaw: Well, none of us are perfect. Ah, I see we are here at the Abbey.
Brome: Huh? How did we get here so quickly?
Ballaw: Plot device.
Brome: Ah. Well, so long. (Leaves)
(Ballaw walks up to the door and knocks)
Methuselah: Take this, you ruffians! (Opens door and hurls a salmon at Ballaw)
Ballaw: I say, what is the idea of throwing floppy flatulent fish at a bloke?
Methuselah: Ballaw! Whoops! I thought you were one of those prank callers!
Ballaw: You throw salmon at prank callers?
Methuselah: It's amazingly effective. Well, don't just stand there, come on in!
(They enter the Abbey. There are some dibbuns running around with buckets on their heads and some mouse wives talking)
Ballaw: I see it has not changed much.
Methuselah: Nonsense! We got a new paint job over the summer!
Ballaw: Aw yes, I notice it now. So, do you intend to carry on with your plans?
Methuselah: You bet. We got it all figured out. Morton steps on this hole here and fall into a vat of...
Ballaw: What?
Methuselah: Oh, the OTHER plan! Yes, I leave just after my 101 party. After I have my little joke, of course.
Ballaw: Who will laugh, I wonder?
Methuselah: We shall see.
Ballaw: I don't know. Most people don't enjoy having custard dumped on them.
Methuselah: No, no, that was last year. This year is when I slip on my bell and disappear after my speech.
Ballaw: Oh yeah...
Concerning Redwall Abbey dwellers
Abbey dwellers tend to be made of several creatures, mostly mice (not those fancy pants ranger mice from up north, but nice ordinary mice). We also contain moles, hedgehogs, the occasional otter, and sometimes one of those squirrel critters.
Abbey folk tend to be peaceful and don't go messing with things that don't require messing around with. They are content to help any odd creature that happens to stumble by and leave it at that.
We do, however, have many a grand feast, which usually happens at least once a season, or unless some thing special happens, like a brother or sister going out, hacking up some vermin scum, and then coming back. This happens less frequently now, and now we are mostly peaceful."
Methuselah: (backing up from his writing chair and putting down his pen) And I suppose it shall continue to be so.
Random voice: Oh, now THAT was a good parting line!
Methuselah: Thank you. It took me all night to think it up.
Random Voice: Well, it shows! I mean, it sort of filled you with a sort of a, "Feel sorry for the speaker yet still are curious to know what he's talking about", sort of thing.
Methuselah: Thanks. And soon we should have the scene change to find Brome sitting under a tree right about...
(Scene change. We find young Brome sitting under a tree watching the world go by. Suddenly, he hears humming! Thinking he knows who this is, he dashes to the road to find a bent and gray looking creature on it.)
Brome: You're late.
Ballaw: Phaw! I'm not late, old chap! I'm simply off my set time by a little!
Brome: No seriously, you were supposed to be here two days ago.
Ballaw: Really? How did that happen? Aw yes, I was fighting off two very large foxes when suddenly...
Brome: Fibber.
Ballaw: Fine. I fell over a tree root and knocked myself unconscious. How humiliating.
Brome: At any rate, (flings himself at Ballaw in a complete mood swing) it's WONDERFUL to see you again!
Ballaw: Whoa, steady on there! I can't handle having creatures throwing their entire body weights at me!
Brome: Yet you can move your gut from one table to the next.
Ballaw: Touché. Now then, how's old Methuselah? I haven't seen him in at least 5 seasons.
Brome: Well, you know Methuselah.
Ballaw: You mean he still beats up on voles?
Brome: Yeah. We thought he gave it up.
Ballaw: Well, none of us are perfect. Ah, I see we are here at the Abbey.
Brome: Huh? How did we get here so quickly?
Ballaw: Plot device.
Brome: Ah. Well, so long. (Leaves)
(Ballaw walks up to the door and knocks)
Methuselah: Take this, you ruffians! (Opens door and hurls a salmon at Ballaw)
Ballaw: I say, what is the idea of throwing floppy flatulent fish at a bloke?
Methuselah: Ballaw! Whoops! I thought you were one of those prank callers!
Ballaw: You throw salmon at prank callers?
Methuselah: It's amazingly effective. Well, don't just stand there, come on in!
(They enter the Abbey. There are some dibbuns running around with buckets on their heads and some mouse wives talking)
Ballaw: I see it has not changed much.
Methuselah: Nonsense! We got a new paint job over the summer!
Ballaw: Aw yes, I notice it now. So, do you intend to carry on with your plans?
Methuselah: You bet. We got it all figured out. Morton steps on this hole here and fall into a vat of...
Ballaw: What?
Methuselah: Oh, the OTHER plan! Yes, I leave just after my 101 party. After I have my little joke, of course.
Ballaw: Who will laugh, I wonder?
Methuselah: We shall see.
Ballaw: I don't know. Most people don't enjoy having custard dumped on them.
Methuselah: No, no, that was last year. This year is when I slip on my bell and disappear after my speech.
Ballaw: Oh yeah...
