Chapter 4

Ballaw: It all started with the forging of the great bells...

Brome: Um, Ballaw? We've been through this.

Ballaw: What are you talking about old boy? I've only just begun!

Brome: No, overhead voice Galadreil did the whole history thing in chapter one.

Ballaw: Really. But that was the whole game plan for this chapter! Now what'll we do, eh, wot?

Brome: Why don't you explain what you have been doing for the last few years?

Ballaw: That has go to be the worst possible way to keep the chapter moving I've ever heard.

Brome: Whatever.

Ballaw: Righto! Moving on, I finally suspected Methuselah's bell to be the one bell. Naturally, I couldn't be sure until certain "measures" were taken, as it were.

Brome: What measures?

Ballaw: (panicked) Certainly not blackmail, that's for sure!

Brome: I didn't say anything like that.

Ballaw: Of course you didn't! Hahaha! Moving on, after said measures were taken, I encountered my friend known as MAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN THEEEEEEEEEEEE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOR! (Wild cheers erupt out of nowhere)

Brome: Was that necessary?

Ballaw: Well, when you've saved countless civilizations you're entitled to a good introduction.

Brome: I see. So what did you and... I don't have to do the whole melodramatic title yelling do I?

Ballaw: No, no, that was only done as that was the first use of his name.

Brome: Good, because I can't I can't hit those high notes. Anyway, what did you and Martin find out about our little problem? Ballaw: We figured that the best person to ask about the history of the bell would be that crazy Gabool fellow.

Brome: (in a overly disgusted sort of way) That vile rat Methuselah encountered?

Ballaw: No, the Gabool who used to play in the Olympics. Who do you think?

Brome: It's a pity Methuselah didn't kill him when he had the chance.

Ballaw: I'll say. Blinking menace, he is.

Brome: You mean you're not going to lecture me on judging people?

Ballaw: Not in this case. He's completely nuts and kills everything in sight. I would've killed him if I didn't require information.

Brome: What did you get out of him?

Ballaw: Not much. By the time we heard his consistent death threats, it was nighttime and we had no blankets or food.

Brome: What did you do?

Ballaw: Well after a while these nice hooded fellows in a cart came up and offered us our needs if we gave them Gabool. It seemed like a decent trade. It wasn't until after we realized that they were the Rat Wraiths who are unbearably evil. But what could we, huh? But the fact they wished to find him as much as we did proved that the bell is infact the one bell TO RULE THEM ALL! (Lightning crash)

Brome: Nuts. So, um, what do we do now?

Ballaw: Not a clue.

Brome: Then what was the point of all this?

Ballaw: Just giving you the lowdown on what I've been up to. That's what you asked.

Brome: Well how the ruddy #$% are we supposed to get rid of it then?

Ballaw: Now, now, temper. It just so happens that said bell is indestructible in every way, shape, and/or form. Unless...(long dramatic pause)

Brome: Yes?

Ballaw: Never mind. It's a dumb idea.

Brome: What? Tell me!

Ballaw: No, you'll just laugh.

Brome: You'll never know if you don't tell me.

Ballaw: Fine. My idea goes something like this. You and Mattimeo, who I am quite aware has been hiding under the windowsill, will go to Bree in which I shall decide where we go to next.

Brome: Ballaw, that's weird. And how long have you been hiding under the window?

Mattimeo: (crawling through the window) I fell down and didn't feel like getting up.

Ballaw: HOW MUCH HAVE YOU HEARD, BOY?!

Mattimeo: Practically everything. Why do you ask?

Ballaw: Because I am hereby drafting you to assist Mr. Brome on his adventure.

Mattimeo: Do I have a choice?

Ballaw: Do you want to live?

Mattimeo: I guess I'll tag along then.

Ballaw: Good. Good luck Brome, AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU! (Runs out the window in dramatic fashion.)

Brome: Well, Matti, I guess you and me are off to save the world.

Mattimeo: What, right now?

Brome: No, I guess we can wait a while.

Mattimeo: (whispering) I can't think of a good parting line.

Brome: (whispering) Me neither. Let's just leave.

(Fade out.)