Does Your Mother Know – Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Well, I had planned to make this a short single chapter story. But so many people asked for more, I felt I had to capitulate. So, I'm going to give it a whirl. Here goes nothing.

Oh, and in case you're wondering: It really is easiest to write from experience... And I'll just leave it at that.

"... And Father O'Reilly had just started his sermon about the demon in possession of a young man who crawled on the floor, screaming in agony when Davey here slipped and fell off of the end of the kneeler. He had his hands shoved in his pockets – couldn't get them out, I suspect – and there he was yelling and rolling around on the floor trying to get up." Maureen wiped a tear of laughter from her eyes. "None of us could help him, we were laughing so hard. That is, except for Barbara. She was too mortified to do anything. She was a teenager in a big way, then."

Sam's stomach hurt from laughing so much. She was sitting with Jack, Maureen, and Dave at a picnic table, paper plates filled with food scattered around. "Colonel, I can't believe you didn't help your little brother up off the floor!" She couldn't help ribbing, between guffaws. Dave was trying so hard to look mournful. Trying, but failing.

"Couldn't, Carter. I wasn't in the pews then. I was busy fulfilling my sacred duty as altar boy." Jack smirked into his bottle as he took a sip of his beer.

Sam stared at him thunderstruck. Jack had been an altar boy. Vague images of a tall boy with unruly hair standing next to a priest, looking angelic in his robes but with a devilish glint in his eyes. It took a little effort, but she could see it. "I don't suppose you have a picture of that, do you, Colonel?" She asked innocently. Oh to show that to Daniel...

Maureen patted Sam gently on the knee. "I'll see what I can dig up, dear."

Jack grimaced. "Hey, no fair ganging up on me."

"You spent four days on a ship with my father two weeks ago with nothing to do except talk about me, and you expect me to not collect information?" Sam reminded, with a grin.

"Information, maybe, but visual records? I would never stoop so low." Jack countered.

"Really? So it wasn't you who started circulating the 'Young Samantha Carter Trading Cards'?" She asked in an oily voice.

Jack couldn't help the guilty look that crossed his features, but covered quickly with, "Nope, that was Murray."

"Right." Sam replied, clearly unconvinced.

"Right." Jack replied with a mischievous grin.

Dave and Maureen sat snickering at their banter and Jack shot them a dirty look. "Thanks for the support, guys." Jack grumbled something about pesky little siblings.

Dave shook his head with mock seriousness. "Third Child Syndrome." He intoned to his sister.

"Sad, but true." She replied seriously, but with eyes twinkling. "Rebellious."

"Angry." Dave agreed.

"Short tempered."

"Bite me." Jack glared at them both.

Maureen shrugged nonchalantly and bit him on the shoulder.

Jack yelped and gently shoved her away. "I didn't mean that as an invitation! What is it with you women and biting?" He asked in a not-quite-disgusted voice.

Maureen looked over at Sam and raised her eyebrows. "You've bitten my brother before?" She asked with a smirk.

Sam flushed crimson. "I didn't know it was him at the time."

Maureen's eyebrows raised even higher. Jack leaned back looking smug, watching to see how much deeper she would dig herself.

Realizing how her statement had sounded, Sam pressed on quickly. "It was a... a battle simulation. I was unarmed, blindfolded, and barely conscious."

Jack coughed. It wasn't quite a good enough cover story... yet. People aren't knocked unconscious for simulations.

"It was really early in the morning. Heck of a way to wake up, eh Carter?"

She grinned abashedly at him. "Yes, sir." She looked vaguely relieved.

Once again, Dave and Maureen exchanged a look. This time though, it wasn't a light-hearted one. They knew that their brother was in a dangerous line of work, even though he wouldn't admit just how dangerous it was. When Dave had come to set up the swing, Jack's arm was in a sling and he was sporting a faded black eye. It wasn't the first time they'd seen him injured, and it wasn't like they saw him all that often.

Knowing that look, Jack stood up and quickly changed the subject. "Who wants cake?"

"There's cake?" Sam asked with a grin.

"My idea." All three O'Neills claimed simultaneously. They all looked at each other and chuckled. Apparently it was another old inside joke.

Jack and Maureen got up to get the cake, leaving Sam and Dave alone. Sam looked around the yard, when a group in the corner caught her eye. "Holy Hannah, what on earth are they doing?" She asked Jack's brother.

Dave looked around her to check out the scene before leaning back and answering nonchalantly, looks like a game of kickbowling-hopscotch.

Sam stared at him and raised an eyebrow. "Kickbowling?"

"Kickbowling-hopscotch." Dave corrected. "How do you do that thing with your eyebrow? I've seen Jack doing it too. He never used to do that." Dave proceeded to scrunch up his eyes and waggle his eyebrows, mouth frowning in concentration. He tried again, holding one eyebrow down with his hand. Sam watched him in fascination before laughing so hard she lost he balance on the bench and slid under the table. This in turn made Dave start laughing and he soon joined her.

Jack and Maureen came back bearing cake when they saw them sitting under the table, laughing. Shooting a grin at each other, they joined them under the table.

Dave's face went suddenly serious and reverential and he stated to the others: "It's uncommon knowledge that sometimes things just make more sense under a table." He then resumed laughing, which, in turn, made Sam laugh even harder, and caused the others to join in. Soon enough they were all lying in a heap of giggles.

When everyone had regained control, Jack handed them their cake. "Care to share what started all of this?"

Dave let out a chortle and gestured for Sam to explain. "He was trying to raise one eyebrow, like Murray does. It was – amusing."

"Did you do the scrunched up eyes, holding down one eyebrow thing?" Jack asked innocently.

"Yeah." Replied Dave suspiciously. "How did you know?" Comprehension dawned on his face. "You did it too! That's how you started!"

At Jack's sheepish grin, Sam and Dave started howling again with laughter. Jack and Maureen quickly joined in.

Gasping for breath, Sam managed to squeak out, "You still didn't explain Kickbowling-hopscotch."

"Oh! Are they playing?" Jack scrambled over his brother to look.

"Carter, you gotta learn how to play." He was scrambling to his feet pulling his companions up with him.

"Whoa, hold up. I'm not playing a game that I know nothing about, without some instruction at least."

Maureen leaned over and whispered to her, "Jack, Andy, and Dave invented it when they were kids. It really is fun."

"The rules are simple, Carter. It's a game you can play when you don't have enough people to have two whole teams for regular kickball." Jack explained. "You set up bowling pins in different parts of the kickball field. A pitcher rolls the ball to the kicker. The kicker kicks the ball toward the pins. Based on the number of pins knocked down after three tries, the kicker can then hop, a la hopscotch, that number of times to base. Everyone who has already kicked and is in the field also hops that number of times. You don't have outfielders or basemen, except to set up the pins, so you can't really ever get "out." When you get to home base, you score a run and get in line to kick again. When you run out of kickers because everyone is out in the field, the game ends. The more players there are, the further apart you spread the bases, and the fewer pins you use. Basically you play to beat you personal best."

Sam looked thoughtful, attempting to visualize the game in her head. "And your definition of 'kickball' in this instance is the game similar to baseball, I assume."

Jack gave her a strange look. "What else would it be?"

Sam grinned sheepishly. "Remember, Colonel; I'm a military brat. Everyone's definition of a game is different in different places. Ever try to explain powderpuff football in Crete?"

"I didn't even know you liked football, Carter."

Maureen pretended to look impatient and mock-whined, "Are you gonna play, or arencha?"

Sam hedged. Understanding a game and playing it are two different things. "Well... I don't..."

Dave and Jack each took an arm and steered her toward the game. Maureen pushed from behind. It was the idea of how they must look more than the action itself that made Sam laugh around her weak protestations. They all got in line with the rest of the kickers. The young people, ranging in age from about 5 to 25, who were playing noticed their new additions and promptly declared that they had to start again.

They were surrounded. Soon Dave was pulled away to be all-time pitcher-bowler and Maureen was pushed to the front of the line of kickers. Apparently she could hop further than anyone. A few more of the older adults wandered over to play and the field was efficiently and quickly reset to accommodate the new players.

Sam and Jack were in the middle of the line between the Goth O'Neill and Jack's mother.

Mrs. O'Neill took Sam's arm, as she had done earlier. "So, what kind of things do you do at your family reunions, Dear?" She asked sweetly.

"Oh, well, I haven't been to one in years. Mom was an only child and Dad had two much older half-brothers, so growing up, my brother Mark and I were the only kids. Our family reunions, when we had them, were usually held in restaurants, so there wasn't much to do." She paused thoughtfully and added, "Mark and I sometimes built card houses though." Sam couldn't help but compare her family with the O'Neills. Given the choice, she would have chosen the messier and livelier O'Neill style.

"Oh, my family reunions were always like that too. I was bored to tears and started begging off as soon I was old enough to stay home alone. Imagine my chagrin the first time Paul announced that the family reunion was an annual event. Plus there were weddings, funerals and wakes, birthday parties, holidays, and anniversary parties to attend. I almost didn't marry him. Then he dragged me kicking and screaming, and I mean that literally dear, to Easter dinner with his family. After that I knew I had to marry him, if for no other reason to be a member of this family." She sighed nostalgically. "It was the smartest move I've ever made. Oh, you're next dear."

Jack was in the process of kicking and she was surprised that she had been able to hear Mrs. O'Neill over the noise. All of the kids in the field were chanting Jack's name. No doubts that he was a favorite among the younger set, not that that was surprising.

Jack kicked the ball again. He had knocked down four of the spread out pins his first time, and it looked like this one was going to take out more.

By Jack's third turn, he had knocked down eleven pins and the kids in the field were cheering as they hopped to their next spot. Two of them were able to make it home and a third was only two spots away.

"Come on Carter. You can do it." Jack called from the field, a few voices echoing his.

The first ball came and she kicked it towards a group of pins. The ball hit one, which knocked over another, but missed the others. The second was better. She hit it with the tip of her foot and it bounced, luckily knocking into three more. "Try using the side of your foot." Jack suggested. "It'll stay on the ground and roll over more pins."

Sam nodded and this time she took out five pins. She grinned as she hopped to her spot, bringing in one runner and putting two others within one and five spaces from home.

"You've impressed them, Carter." Jack informed her quietly before hopping to his next spot. She looked around. He was right – the other people were much closer together than she and Jack were.

She grinned and called out to Jack, "You know, sir, maybe you should suggest this game as a team building activity to the general. I'd be happy to back you."

Jack smirked back in response. "Better yet, we'll get Teal'c's and Jacob's buddies to play it together."

Sam laughed at the idea of a bunch of Jaffa and Tok'ra hopping all around a field. Her thoughts were interrupted by calls of, "Come on, Mom. Bring us home!" and "Go Grandma!"

Not quite sure what name to call out, Sam settled for clapping and general cheering. Any grown woman who kicked and screamed when being forced to do something she didn't want deserved here attention. Having raised Jack deserved respect.

Mrs. O'Neill knocked down five pins and everyone advanced. There was now a big gap between the front hopper and home base and another gap behind her. If the next few kickers didn't post some big numbers the game would be over. It really was a game where everyone depended on everyone else. No wonder everyone cheered for each other. If Jack didn't suggest this to the general, she would. It had been a while since the SGC had done a fun cohesiveness workshop.

The game didn't end there. Sam got another turn and the game ended with the front-runner only two spaces from home.

Darkness was falling and tents began to spring up all over the yard. Sleeping bags had been spread out on the patio and on tarps on the yard.

Noticing them, Sam looked at Jack in askance. With a grin – he'd been doing that a lot today, she noticed – he replied, "O'Neill reunions are to family gatherings what Woodstock is to concerts. They generally last a good three days. Tomorrow will be excursions-around-town day. Sunday, for the Catholic set, is church day; Dave will say mass. Then we'll clean up, pack, have a casual lunch and generally make a nuisance of ourselves on the highways and at the airport. A few years ago, we actually held the picnic lunch part at the airport. Security was not pleased. You should come by tomorrow."

The last was added as an afterthought and even Jack looked surprised that he had said it, but quickly neutralized his reaction. "Mom, Pop, Dave, Maureen, and I were going to the Gardens. There's something of small Renaissance carnival going on. Daniel would have a great time mocking the historical inaccuracies."

Sam smiled. She could make a compromise. "Why don't I call Daniel and Teal'c and the three of us will meet you there?"

Jack nodded in agreement, his face unreadable. "That'd be good. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, sir." Sam turned to go.

"And Carter?" Jack called out. "I think the Ernies are going to be there. Warn Daniel and T, wouldja?"