[Mandella, you are so vastly lucky that I have taken a liking to you or this chapter wouldn't have come out for another three months.  I am up in the dead of night… rather morning now, some ungodly hour, writing this chapter, just for you.  I can recognize a plea for mercy when I see one.  So this whole thing… voila, pour toi.] 

It was a lovely building, about six or seven floors high and built of a marble-like rock.  I felt my legs moving of their own accord as I stared at its magnificence in awe.  Lucinda and Michelle's dad didn't seem to notice how lucky they were to have such a building for a school.  I almost wanted to slap them and say "grovel to the building!  It is GODLY!"  But I figured that would be stupid.  After all, it was just a splendid and spectacular beauty.  The gardens around it thrived as though by magic.

Then again, they probably did thrive by magic. 

"Fairy Academy, duh."  I thought out loud. 

"Exactly what I was thinking."  Chad mumbled. 

Lucinda walked in through the door followed by Cedric and Michelle.  Chad and I looked at one another, wondering how they had walked through a solid, wooden door. 

"Well, if it worked for them…."  I shrugged and walked forward, dreading the crash coming right up.  I squinted my eyes, feeling like Harry Potter rushing his trolley (isn't that a funny word?  It makes me think of Mr. Roger, but moving along,) at the gate.  And just like in the second book I stumbled back and grabbed my nose as I landed on the stone pathway. 

"You know," Chad said crouching over me, "they are fairies.  They probably have some walking-through-walls thing going for them that we don't."

"Rub it id by face, but I think I broke by dose."  My nose was seriously bruised and I was having trouble talking.  What I had tried to say was "rub it in my face, but I think I broke my nose."  I'm just articulate twenty-four/seven.  Get used to it.

Chad's mouth twitched and I longed to bite it.  Not in a sexual way mind you, maybe I'd even hire a squirrel or rabid chipmunk.  I just wanted him to suffer. 

"Let me see it."

"Doe, you'll just poke it."  Doe=No in broken-nose-anese.

"I'm not cruel, Cathy."

"Yes, you are."

"Come on, I have experience with broken noses."

"Don't you bean breaking doses?"  But I removed my hand from my nose anyway. 

"Yup, it's a bit puffy, but nothing horrible."

"So says the boy od the other side of hell."  I muttered.  I screamed suddenly as a head poked through the door to look at us.  "Holy spittle!"

"Hi, I'm Ean."  The Asian head smiled at us.  "Limab Ean.  Lucinda asked that I take you to a room.  Golly, what happened to your nose?" 

"Your door happened to by dose." 

"Ah, we get that all the time."  He smiled and nodded.  "Stupid humans."

Oh, I'll take him down. 

"Let me fix it."  He stepped through the door, his billowing purple robe coming into view.  He was tall and skinny and his robes were a thinner silk.  His fingers were long and delicate as he reached down towards my face.  I scrunched my eyes praying he wouldn't punch my nose in.  Suddenly, my nose felt cool and almost non-existent.

"Got your nose!"  He cried with glee.  My eyes snapped open as I looked at his hand. 

"Oh my gosh!"  Then I took a closer look at his clenched fist and saw a thumb poking in between his index and middle finger.  Both Chad and Limab Ean were laughing.  "That is so not funny in a world full of fairies.  You could cause serious brain damage in chickas like me."

"Come!  I will take you to your room!"  Limab said. 

"So your name is Limab Ean?"  I asked, now that I knew my nose was safely secured on my face.  "Like lima bean?"

Limab's face became grim.  "Lima Ima was my mother.  Bean Ean was my father.  They're both dead."

My mouth snapped shut.  No use using a pun on him.  It would be cruel.

"No they weren't."  A girl shouted from down a pathway in the garden.  "He just says that to deter the snide remarks.  Go ahead and make a soup out of him." 

"That's wonderful!"  I shouted to the girl.  "You're my new hero!"

"Just wait and see what I do next!"  And she disappeared into a puff of smoke.

Limab took us up about forty-thousand staircases.  I thought my life was going to end when I saw it flashing before my eyes.  Then I realized all of my memories had been squashed by multiple staircases.  They were made of everything stone I could think of, which wasn't that many, but the point is, there were a lot of materials.

"Why all the staircases?"  I puffed.

"I have to take you long route because neither of you are fairies."

"Chad's a fairy."  I lied.

"I am not gay!"  Chad said belligerently (Ah, another wonderful word that I plopped in.)

"I never said you were."

"Well, I'm not magical either."

"Did you like the double-connotation?"  I asked.

"Not a bit."  Chad frowned deeply.

"Limab, do you know how to break curses?"

"Not yet.  Very few that still go here are any good at that."  He shrugged.  "Sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

"Here's your room."  Limab motioned to a door that looked like it was part of the wall.  "It's in the attic.  Enjoy your stay.  Muah hahaha!"  And he disappeared.

"Well, that's rarely a good sign."  I put my hands on my hips.  "But I'm already enjoying myself very much." 

"Seriously?"  Chad was taken aback.

"He did command me to.  At least it was a kind command."

"Cathy, feel however you want to about your stay."

"Okay."  My mood plummeted.  "That was a crappy thing to do."

"I gave you freewill, you ingrate."  Chad opened the door to a cramped room with one pallet and three blankets. 

"You can take the floor."  I told him.

"No way, Jose."

"I'll fight you for it."

Chad gave me a withering look.  "We'll share the pallet.  And survive."

Happily.  I thought.  "Whatever."