Disclaimer: Don't own Ranma ½ or Sailor Moon, and this is for my own entertainment. If one character vaguely resembles a pokemon, please don't shoot.
Twelve Totems of the Stone Clan One Half:
Ifor's Story
Two depressed looking girls, one bubbly lavender haired one and a panda stood, waiting for someone to answer the knock on the door. The door suddenly swung open and a man and girl shouted "Welcome…" before backing up and running down the hall in what seemed to be nervous fear. The party looked at each other and shrugged. The panda lead the way in as the girls removed their slipper style shoes. What they found as they rounded the corner to the dining room entrance was the long, brown-haired gentleman, the kimono clad girl and two other young women coming to stand beside what was apparently their father. The oldest looking girl spoke, "Are these your friends, Father?" The man shook his head violently, stuttering out "Uh-unh-uh!"
Taking a deep breath, he asked, hesitantly, "Is-is one of you Ranma?" To which the read head responded, "I'm Saotome Ranma, sorry about this." The middle girl said "Ooh, he's cute!" as the man glomped Ranma." Xian Pu held up a sign that read '9'. The fellow began to realize that Ranma's chest was softer than it should be for a boy and staggered back. The short haired girl then looked closer at Ranma's chest and gave the redhead's left breast a good grope and pronounced, "He's not a boy…she's 100 girl!" "Would you please stop that," quietly begged Ranma." At that the man fainted, falling to the floor. Xian Pu just snickered.
The girl in the housedress and apron brought out a futon and blanket and the man was laid out in the dining room floor to recover. As everyone and the panda sat around the man, the three sister's started an argument of sorts. When the short haired girl said, "How is one of us supposed to marry Ranma if he's a girl?" followed by another grope. The youngest looking one said, "Nabiki, stop that, they are our guests!" Ifor decide that if Ranma wouldn't speak up, she would, especially after hearing the word 'marry'.
"This is a little complicated. Could someone bring some hot water and some smelling salts?" The girl in housewife clothes got up and went to the kitchen. "I'm very interested in this talk of marriage." Ranma gave the panda a look that would melt lead. The older girl returned and gave a kettle and ammonium salts to Ifor. The boy broke a capsule under the man's nose. When he woke sputtering, he sat and looked around, "Ifor spoke up, "Tendo san, I want to show you something that will lead to an explanation." She poured some of the warm water over her, now his, head. Though not as developed as Ranma or Xian Pu, the change was noticeable. He then poured some over the Panda, that got their attention if the sharp intake of breaths meant anything, and poured some over Ranma's arm, enough for the change. The four host's jaws had dropped. "I would like to introduce us now. You know Ranma. I'm ap Rhys Ifor, this is Xian Pu of the Joketsuzoko tribe of Amazons, and the panda man is Saotome Genma." The tall mustached man then spoke with a look of newfound joy, "Very Well! I am Tendo Soun," he went around and put his hands on Ranma's shoulders and pointed to the girls. "This is my oldest daughter Kasumi, she's nineteen, my daughter Nabiki, seventeen, and my youngest, Akane. She's sixteen. Pick whomever you want and she will be your wife." A look of panic came over the three daughters and Ranma. Nabiki and Kasumi stood behind Akane. "He wants Akane." said Nabiki. "You don't like boy's, well he's half girl, a wonderful match," came from Kasumi.
Several expressions flitted over Akane's face, finally settling on one that made her look severely constipated. "YOU PERVERT!" She then picked up the dining table and slammed it over his head, knocking him out, the flower vase that had been on the table splashing her in the process. Ifor had had enough of this and performed a tattoo change to girl and slapped Akane, hard. "YOU have NO right to call my friend Ranma a pervert." She advanced on the taller girl, backing her away. "Ranma is THE most honorable person I know! You apologize when he wakes up or I'll show you how ugly I can get. Got it?" "My airen is right, violent girl. Ranma is a wonderful, shy, boy, even though he sometimes puts his foot in his mouth."
Akane glanced around, she knew that she had a right to be upset, but felt that she may have overstepped the line. Her mind frozen, she started bawling and headed up to her room, slamming the door shut. Genma said to Soun, "Well, that went pretty well, they'll make a fine couple." Followed by Genma sailing through the air to the pond in the yard, courtesy of Ifor and Xian Pu.
Ifor looked at Kasumi, who returned the look somewhat guiltily, then smiling, "What was I thinking, let's get poor Ranma comfortable and I'll tend to her injury." Ifor carried the larger girl, following Kasumi upstairs to the guest bedroom, followed by the young Chinese girl. Kasumi put a damp cloth on Ranma's head who shortly groaned, "What did that uncute macho tomboy do that for?" Kasumi replied, "Please understand, she's a very nice girl, but sometimes she is a violent maniac." "Way to go sis," said Nabiki as she came in and sat by Kasumi. Akane then entered with her head down and walked to Ranma, who looked up at her. "I –I'm sorry about hitting you. I never want to marry you, but would you want to be friends?" looking at Ifor and Xian Pu as well. The three looked at each other and nodded. Ranma said "Sure, I'd like ta be your friend, but if your dad is like Pops, we'll never get out of this without workin' together." Akane's face brightened through the tear tracks and she said, "Well, would you like to spar?" With nods of assent, they left the house for the dojo.
"Why aren't you two changing into guys?" Akane asked. Ifor replied, "I could say its because I'm bigger and stronger as a girl. The rest of the truth is that periodic cramps are a thousand times worse if I try to stay male during this time and the three of us have synchronized. I tell you. Our sparring sessions can really get intense at these times." Akane reddened, then burst out laughing. "I guess you can't be perverts if you 'really' know what girls go through." Then she burst out in a raucous guffaw, "Oh my god, if you synchronized that quickly, then there will be six of us sharing that time. Haw Haw!" Ranma looked bright red with his blush, "Yeah, that's the only time I wear panties an that's only because I gotta. Try putting a pad in boxers." Ifor was crying tears of laughter, "Man why can't you just wear briefs like I do, they work both ways and fit both forms fine. And you don't have to worry about accidentally wearing 'Hello Kitty' underwear. You ought to get some white sports bras. They would look more like a tee-shirt if you were accidentally hit by hot water."
In the dojo, Ranma said, "Ifor, go first. I wanta see if you have picked anything up that I've tried ta teach ya." "Okay sensei, but I doubt that I'll ever be anything but a beginner." Akane took a stance across from the fuzz headed girl who took a T stance. Ranma called out to Akane, "Don't hold back. Ya can't hurt her an don't let her get a hold of ya. She makes a good practice dummy."
Akane felt sure that Ranma was joking. She led off with a telegraphed punch that almost anyone could dodge. Ifor began to move and caught the punch on the cheek instead of the nose and was flipped, feet up and ten feet away, while Ranma rolled his eyes. Akane started to go check on Ifor when she jumped up and moved toward the bigger girl, taking her by surprise when she jumped at her midsection, wrapping her arms around Akane's waist. She then picked the bigger girl up off the floor and spun around as fast as she could, letting Akane fly into a pile of floor mats. As Akane was getting up on unsteady legs, she was hit in the midsection by an ungraceful tackle and knocked back to the mat. She rolled away and backed off to catch her wind and assess her opponent with new eyes. "You have all the grace of a ruptured duck and anyone can get lucky. Now I'm gonna get serious." Akane performed a spin kick to Ifor's head with enough force to windmill the young girl around her center of gravity. She then punched her with enough force to slam her into the wall, where she bounced to the floor and slapped the floor, bringing herself back into a standing position, looking none the worse for wear. Akane shouted, "Why won't you stay down?" as she charged Ifor. She knocked the smaller girl down and grabbed her feet and swung her over head like a human club, smashing Ifor into the floor. Ifor just looked back up at Akane and grinned trying to loosen the bigger girls hold on her feet. Akane would have none of this and smashed Ifor's upper body into the floor repeatedly, watching for any sign of pain or unconsciousness. Ifor just crossed her arms and was just riding out Akane's attack with an irritating smirk that inspired increasingly overwhelming violence. The carnage continued with Akane's battle aura manifesting, making her berzerker rage frightening to behold. After quite a few minutes her aura suddenly winked out and she was suddenly just standing there, staring at her opponent, her hands just nervelessly releasing hold of Ifor's feet. Ifor just got up brushing dust and splinters from the remnants of her shirt and walked to Akane and placed her index and middle finger to her head and pushed. The bigger girl just fell over backwards, unconscious. Ranma and Xian Pu shook themselves out of their numbed states. The red haired girl said, "Well that's one way ta beat someone. No style or grace, just make em wear themselves out. We gotta work on that girl's temper though."
The group went into the house following the smells of a well-cooked meal. Ifor was playing the part of pack mule, carrying Akane.
After a wonderful dinner, marred only by the battle between the Saotomes for their food, Ifor offered to help Kasumi clean up. She cleaned and dried the dishes and asked about getting help finding her parents. "Oh my, Ifor, I believe that that would be something Nabiki would be more qualified to do. She is the one who helps our budget by trafficking in information." "Thanks Kasumi, I'll go speak to her."
Ifor knocked on Nabiki's door, "Nabiki, its Ifor, can I talk to you for a bit?" "Okay, first consultation's free." "I was wondering if you would help me contact my Mom and Dad? It's been a few months since I left Texas and I don't know how to use the asian phone system. Can you help me place a collect call?" "Sure, write your number down and I'll do the routing." Ifor did as requested and changed to his male form so his voice would be familiar. He squirmed a bit as the pad was uncomfortable, but it would be worth it to talk to his parents finally. As Nabiki began dialing he said, "My Mom's name is Gwynne and Dad's is Robert." He sat in the desk chair as she leaned on the desk.
Nabiki spoke in passable english after a bit, "Yes, a collect call from Ifor ap Rhys." A few long seconds passed. "Am I speaking to Gwynne ap Rhys? I think that your son would like to speak with you." She handed the phone to Ifor, who took it with shaking hands. "H-h-hello Mom?" "Ifor is…is that really you?" "Yeah mom, it is, can you come get me?" he sobbed. "Oh honey, we thought you were dead. When you never showed up after study hall and the flood and the principal told us where you went and we searched for weeks!" The other end of the phone only carried the sound of weeping for a minute as Ifor tried to comfort his mother through the phone. "Mom! It's okay. Please listen I'm in Tokyo, Japan." He gave her the Tendo's phone number and address. "Now Mom, something happened to me in the river bottom. Something to do with the family 'business'. I went underwater in the river, but when I came up, I was in a spring in China." "China? A translocation like that, your great grandmother could only manage about ten miles and would be exhausted for a day." "Mom, I doubt that I did it, or did it all. I found an 'artifact' on the gravel bar. It was an amulet made of flint with animal shapes scratched into a circle around a central crystal. I made a leather thong and put it on, then it disappeared into my chest and then there was this old Indian shaman saying something and then the flood happened and I came up in the spring in China. Between the amulet and the spring, I've been changed." "But you're still my Ifor?" "Yes, Mom, I'll tell you all about it when you get here, I've been well taken care of and there are several people that you have to meet. Please prepare yourself for several major shocks. It seems that I may have gotten myself an Amazon wife." "…." "Mom….MOM?" The connection had been broken.
