Disclaimer: I don't own any characters you recognize here

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The ride was utterly uneventful. I just did my usual routine. Read, sleep, eat then read again, then cry. Now you ask, why do I cry every train ride? Simple. To release the pain locked up inside me. Every year, before term starts, I wish and pray, that someone would pick me up from the floor, and help me stand up.

That someone would ask me why I don't talk and find out I just don't. That maybe, this year, someone would lend me a shoulder to cry on. But I think that someone is still not there to help me. So then another year starts. But then, more hope is lost.

Right now, hopes of having someone care for me at school is two at a scale of one to ten.

When the ride was finished, I found a carriage occupied by no one. Lots of people needed a carriage, but they didn't want to ride with me. They squeezed themselves in a carriage, and I felt hurt.

At the feast, I saw my favorite dish. But it was quite far from me. I wanted to let them pass it, but I can't find my voice. So I had to walk and get it, humiliating myself in the process when I fell and the pudding fell on me.

I cried again and walked to the Gryffindor common room, good thing a prefect told me the password. When I got there, I walked straight to the girl's dorm and then went to my bed without bothering to change.

I looked out the window like I did a few years ago, but this time, I saw a lot of stars. Maybe I could count it. One...two...three...I think I counted that already.

Maybe stars are not meant to be counted, and Lily Evans was not meant to be happy. I went under my blankets and then closed my eyes. Here I am again, I have a feeling that this year, it's gonna be a total bore. But then, why do I feel my conscience telling me that something surprising will happen this year?

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NEXT MORNING

Strange, because I found myself getting up at four in the morning. I saw my dorm mates already there, sleeping soundly. I stood up from my bed and tiptoed quietly to the bathroom to freshen up. Apparently, I woke up the girls from their sleep because of my shower.

I heard a girl mumble sleepily.

"If you don't stop that right now, I swear, you'll see you pants over your head in no time." Jessica mumbled.

Jessica, one of the reasons I remained unnoticed and unseen in this world. She was the bimbo queen. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. Her makeup was always too much, but overall, she always looked good.

But, I don't like her. She always makes my life miserable. Oh, screw me. My life is always miserable. Anyway, she's evil. She's nice to everyone except for the one who she thinks is a geek. I guess I'm one of them.

I got out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel firmly around me. I went to get my clothes and then wore them. When I came out, I saw a very interesting scene.

Jessica had no hair at all, her best friend, Mia, was on top of Jessica and their so called slave, Janine, was looking at her wand dumbly.

Lily looked at them strangely.

"Uh! Janine! Look at what you did! I said fix my hair not make me bald!" exclaimed Jessica and she threw some curses at Janine who looked terrified.

Arabella and Alice, their other roomies, got up from their bed and watched what was happening.

"Yeah! She said fix her hair! You twit!" exclaimed Mia and she threw the furnunculus curse at Janine, but she dodged it, and the curse headed straight to Jessica.

Jessica screamed and ran around the room.

"Ahh! Someone save me! Hey you! Hey! Help me!" she shouted to anyone who was on her way. Mia ran after her.

"Jess! Let me help! I think I know the counter curse!" she exclaimed, still chasing Jessica.

Lily just looked at them strangely, then went to her bed and took out a book to read. She closed her trunk then headed for the door, but the door opened ajar before she could even touch it.

There, standing in front of her, was the marauders. Composed of James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Pettigrew. They were the master pranksters. Yet the most eligible bachelors in school.

I saw James Potter staring at me, but I looked away. When you stare at someone, they could see through your soul, which is not a good thing for me. I walked past the marauders and headed for the fireplace.

I took a seat on the couch and opened my book. I really like this book. Why? Because we both have the same problem. It's a really thick book that my mom gave me when I was still young.

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Flashback:

Three year old Lily Evans was sitting on a swing with her father. Her father would tickle her occasionally.

"Daddy! It tickles!" exclaimed Lily as her father tickled her sides.

Her father laughed and they saw Mrs. Evans car park in front of their house.

"Mommy's here!" exclaimed Lily as she jumped off her father's lap and ran to her mother.

Lucy, their housemaid, took Mrs. Evans luggage inside the house and Mrs. Evans saw her daughter running up to her.

"My flower! Oh! I missed you so much!" exclaimed Mrs. Evans and she smiled.

Lily ran faster and hugged her mother so tight. Their father joined the hug too. They began talking and joking around outside the house, when Petunia saw what was happening outside. They didn't even look for her. She was very angry at Lily. Ever since Lily was born, Petunia thought that all her parents cared about was Lily.

For revenge, Petunia went to Lily's room and took out a very precious fairy tale book their mother gave Lily. Even though she loved her mother very much, at times like this, she couldn't control herself.

Petunia went back to her room and found Lily sitting near the gate, playing with their dog, and her parents were unloading a few things from the car.

Petunia was angry and she threw with all her strength the book she was holding and it landed in the middle of the street. Petunia smiled.

Unfortunately, Lily saw this and glared at Petunia.

"How dare you!" she exclaimed before running to the street. Her parents saw her.

"Lily, where are you going?" asked their mom and followed her out of the gate.

It was just probably bad timing, that at that time, when Lily reached the book, a truck came driving along. Petunia's eyes grew wide, their father was too busy with the things and her mom was very shocked.

"Lily, watch out!" screamed their mother and Lily turned around to see her mom push her to the sidewalk and directly see her mom get killed under a truck.

Lily cried and cried, hugging the book close to her chest. Petunia was crying too. It was only a matter of time that their father found out what happened.

He came out and saw Lily bruised and hugging a book to her chest, Petunia was crying inside her room, but what shocked him the most was that her wife was blood and bones. He was very angry, but sad all the same.

When he asked for an explanation, Petunia gave a story, saying that Lily went out the gate to play when a truck came driving along, so her mom blocked her and she was the one killed. It turned out that it was Lily's fault in her story.

End of flashback:

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But I remember that when my dad asked me what happened, I couldn't answer. I can't find my voice. So he thought I was guilty and he punished me. He tortured me and only stopped when Lucy was very desperate.

I went to my room the night my mom died, and placed the book under my pillow. I promised myself I would cherish it forever. If I asked you, what would you feel if you watched your mother die in slow motion, including the breaking of bones and twisting of spines?

That is how I felt. I felt impotent and out of control. Inside me, my head burst into half just to see my mom suffer. She was the one who worked hard for me. The one who always loved me, and she died trying to save me.

I was so shocked that day, that I didn't know what to say. All I did was cry.

I miss her so much. When she left, I remember that I always seek for her comfort. I always search for her incredible scent. I always felt around for her gentle touch. But after a few months of that accident, I knew that she wasn't coming back, and I really did never got to speak again.

Right now at the common room, I opened the book into a random page and saw a picture of me and my mother. I was three years old. That picture was taken before she went for her one week conference.

She was holding me so gently and tightly that it looked as if she didn't want anything bad to happen to me. I was smiling at the picture, and I cried.

My mother was the most important person to me. She was my inspiration in this school. She always told me to work hard to achieve something.

All I know is that, I miss her so much and I want her to be able to see me in this school. I want her to be here to make me talk. But what I want is not possible, because she's dead. All because of me!

I cried and hugged the book close to me. I love my mother so much, and I didn't want her to go.

Little did Lily know, someone saw her crying on their way downstairs the girl's dormitory. The two of them knew what their mission was. It was to find out why Lily is crying and to make her happy.

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Sorry if this was short and dull, but I had to post. Anyway, I cried when I wrote this chapter. I love you guys! You actually reviewed my first chapter! Thanks!