Author's Note: If you choose to read this entire fic (as I obviously hope you do) you should be aware that it contains scenes of a graphic sexual nature – if you've read my earlier fic "Lost and Found" you have a good indicator of what to expect. I'd rate this fic NC-17 and if that's likely to offend you, please read no further than this chapter. I love feedback, so please feel free to leave reviews here, or e-mail me at Please, no flames – I make no pretense about the nature of this fic, and while I write to tell a story and not simply to spew out smut, I know this kind of fic isn't for everybody. Thanks!

It was only a couple of cycles until the others left for the Supercomputer, but to Enzo they felt like hours. A peculiar mixture of excitement and dread was in him, building by the nano. What would it be like, having AndrAIa all to himself? They'd done stuff before – games, jetball, circuit racing, heck – she'd even helped him study sometimes when it was just the two of them. But this was different – Matrix or Bob or AndrAIa wouldn't be just around the corner, or waiting for them at the Diner or the P.O. It would really be just them.

"Don't make a null of yourself!" the young man mumbled, weaving his way through the Baudway traffic on his zip board, backpack slung over his left shoulder. Would she be there already, when he got home? What would he say to her? Could he act casual and cool, knowing that the love of his life, the one he'd never have, was soon to be a memory – someone he saw only saw on Academy breaks and holidays? "Oh, User – don't let me cry in front of her! Please…"

Enzo, his mind far away, narrowly missed collisions with a couple of speeding vehicles and drew a few angry glares from pedestrians diving for cover, but nevertheless made it back to the diner in one piece. Cecil was fussily cleaning the counter and there were a few customers scattered about, but no sign of AndrAIa. "Hi, Cecil."

"Young Master." The service binome replied stiffly.

"Need any help?"

"I am fine, Monsieur." Cecil rarely seemed pleased by Enzo's presence and never by his assistance, so the binome's answer was no surprise. "Madam has left ze establishment in capable hands."

"But not feet. Guess I'll head home, then." Enzo was happy enough not to have to slop the tables and deliver drinks, but a part of him distinctly dreaded walking into his apartment and closing the door behind him. It would feel so strange if Andri was there – what if he got all emotional in front of her? Even worse, what if being around her for so long made him daydream again and he thought about that kind of thing, and he got all worked up and she saw his…his… User – he'd delete! It would be far worse than death.

Maybe he could slip away after dinner, say he needed to do homework? Hide in his room all night, that'd be the safest. But she wouldn't understand, she'd be hurt – Enzo knew that. And the notion of deliberately hurting her was out of the question. Besides – why shouldn't he want to be with her? She was the most delightful sprite he'd ever known, right? That's why he wanted her in the first place! So why shouldn't he just enjoy her company for an evening? It would be easy.

"Enzo – that you?" a voice called from the kitchen as Enzo popped open the door to the apartment, and he knew from the nano he heard that voice that the evening would be anything but easy. Just hearing it filled him with a longing and sadness that made him want to cry right then and there.

"Hi Andri."

AndrAIa emerged from the kitchen, smiling brightly. "Hey Little Sparky! Just finishing up dinner now – have a good cycle at school?"

"Fine. Thanks… Thanks for coming over and all."

"I'm glad I'm here – I'd have been lonesome at home without Matrix." The mention of his older self deepened Enzo's despair, for some reason. "Sorry if I'm spoiling your big chance to be on your own for the first time!"

"No! It's fine." The young sprite said hastily. "I'm happy you're here. I can't cook or anything anyways-"

"Ah – now it comes out! Well, sit down and I'll serve up dinner – I'm no Dot when it comes to cooking, but I can fry up microchips as well as anybody."

"OK. Thanks!" Enzo forced a smile and sat down at the table, running a hand across his face and feeling clammy sweat there. It was going to be a long night.

Dinner wasn't so bad – AndrAIa's cooking was fine, and the clatter of forks and plates was a distraction, if nothing else. Enzo was quieter than normal, but managed to smile when AndrAIa said something funny and compliment her cooking a few times. After they were done, he insisted on clearing the dishes and set up his organizer on the table, figuring on getting his homework started before there was any sort of lull in the evening.

That hadn't been so bad either – although when AndrAIa had reached over his shoulder and helped him with his calculus the young man was glad he was sitting down – and he stretched the work out as long as he could. But at some point a few micros after he'd actually finished his real class work and started tapping his keypad randomly, the boy's guilt got the better of him and, with a sigh, he closed his organizer and headed for the living room.

"Hey, Sparky – all finished?"

"Yup." The game sprite patted the couch and with what he hoped was an unnoticeable shiver, Enzo sat next to her. "What're you watching?"

"Mainframe Idol. I don't know why – everyone on it is terrible. And they have that waiter from Al's judging – the one on the roller skates? He's pretty annoying."

"Yeah." Enzo turned his attention to the vidwindow and watched in silence for a while, acutely aware of the game sprite's presence next to him. It was usually pretty high-risk for Enzo to be so close to AndrAIa for any length of time, but he wasn't feeling those feelings now – just sadness. She filled his processor like she always did, but what he felt wasn't need – just regret.

"Do you think I'd look good with an earring?" Enzo blurted out. Almost as soon as he had, he had to resist slapping himself in the forehead. Why did he just say stuff like that, without thinking? Idiot!

"An earring?" AndrAIa sounded surprised. "What brought this on?"

"I… I dunno. Just thought about it, I guess. I have been for a while. Not a toy one like during the Daemon thing - a real one, with my ear pierced and all."

"Well, have you asked Dot about it?"

"Yeah." Enzo blushed glumly. "She practically tore me a new output."

"Oh! Poor Enzo."

"That was nothing compared to when I asked about a tattoo, though. I didn't get my hearing back for a whole minute." The boy looked up to see AndrAIa with her hand over her mouth, trying to choke down her laughter. "Yeah I know - I'm pathetic..."

"No! I... I'm sorry, it's just pretty funny, that's all." The game sprite squeezed his hand, sending a thrilling tingle through him. "You know, you're getting close to the age where you can do something like that on your own - not even Dot can tell you not to. So I think it's your decision - or it will be soon, anyway. But - why, Little Sparky?"

"I... I don't know. I was just thinking about it. It'd be something different."

"Yeah. Well, you know I have one - an earring. And I have my belly-button pierced, too. So I don't necessarily see anything wrong with it."

"Yeah?" Enzo gulped. He didn't want to start thinking about her belly-button just now.

"Yeah. But you know what?"

"What?"

The game sprite smiled. "I don't think you should do something like that because you want to look more like someone else. If that's what you're thinking, I mean. I think you should just try and express yourself the way you want to. But you probably know that already."

"Oh." Enzo sighed. "Thanks." Why had he even mentioned the earring to AndrAIa - it just made him sound more like a stupid kid than ever. Why can't you do anything right, Dummy? He leaned back on the couch and stared numbly at the vidwindow for a long time, losing himself in his own thoughts until he may as well have been all alone in the apartment.

Then, all of a sudden, the vidwindow was gone – although Enzo wouldn't have been able to say what was happening anyway on it – and AndrAIa was staring at him. "Now then - what's wrong?"

"What?"

"You heard me – what's wrong, Little Sparky?"

"Why do you call me that?" Enzo mumbled. "I'm as tall as you are."

"Sorry." The game sprite smiled gently. "Just force of habit, I guess – you'll always be my Little Sparky. If it bothers you I'll stop-"

"No!" Even that small hint of hurt was enough to cut Enzo in half. "It's fine – I like it. Don't worry about it."

"Sure?"

"Yeah."

"Hmmm." AndrAIa squeezed his hand softly. "You still didn't answer my question, though."

"Huh?" Enzo looked up despairingly. "What was the question?"

"What's the matter? Why have you been so quiet and low-res all night? Don't you want me here?"

"Yeah! You're… Of course I do. I love having you here."

"Could've fooled me." The game sprite sighed and folded her arms. "You've been quiet around me a lot, lately. I just thought maybe you were mad at me, or something. The 'Little Sparky' thing?"

"No – I said it was fine." Enzo forced a smile. "I promise – I'm not mad at you. You're a great friend, and… I promise I'm not mad."

"Well – that's good. But are you OK? Are you worried about the Academy? You know you can tell me anything that's bothering you."

How Enzo wished that were true! "No, I'm not really worried. Just a little, maybe, but I know I can handle it. I've had Bob training me for six hours so I figure that gives me a head start… I'm fine."

AndrAIa stared at him for a nano. "OK, then." She wrapped her arm around him and gave him a little squeeze, and the youth's heart skipped two beats. "I'm glad you're OK – I was worried."

"Don't worry." Enzo smiled, but he could see the doubt in AndrAIa's face. It was a face that didn't look right with doubt on it – it should have been clear and bright, bright enough to light up the whole room around it. Being so close to her was overwhelming – overwhelming his senses, his processor… With a sigh, the boy opened the vidwindow and turned to stare at Mike the TV crooning a spine-rattling rendition of "New Baud, New Baud", feeling sick with guilt.

Neither sprite said anything for a long time, but Enzo was aware of something new building inside him – something small and weak and unidentifiable, deep down in his gut. As they sat and stared at the vidwindow it grew stronger, slowly at first but inexorably, building inside him until it was impossible to ignore. It was a resolve that scared him – horrified him, even. How could he even think about what he wanted to say, much less actually say it? Things rarely went well when he said what he was thinking – especially to AndrAIa. But the feelings that he'd held inside him for so long were torturing him, screaming to be let out. To speak them was impossible, but not to speak them…

"I love you."

"What?"

"I…I…" Breathing heavily, Enzo switched off the vidwindow and covered his face in his hands. "I love you, AndrAIa."

He could hear the game sprite next to him, breathing slowly, evenly. "Oh, my."

"I'm sorry."

"I love you too, you know."

"I'm sorry-"

"Come on, now." Her hands, soft and cool, were at his own, gently prying them away from his face. "Look at me."

"I'm an idiot! I'm so sorry…"

"You're not! Stop that." AndrAIa held the boy's hands in her own and met his gaze. "You know how much you mean to me, Little Sparky. You know I love you."

"I don't mean that." Enzo whispered, his heart filled with despair.

The game sprite sighed deeply. "Oh, Sweetheart-"

"Don't! Please don't feel sorry for me. Please don't."

"Enzo…" The game sprite stroked his cheek softly, and the boy shivered all over. "That's so sweet of you-"

"I know what you think." The young man rasped, swallowing a sob. "I know it's stupid and I'm sorry I said anything. But I just had to tell you. I love you and I always will. I love you!"

"Hmm." She stared at him, her eyes full of tenderness and affection, but to Enzo it was a knife through the heart. "I don't know quite what to say."

"I love you." The boy's hand, unbidden, rose and slowly stroked the softness of AndrAIa's cheek. "You're incredible. You're beautiful, and smart, and funny, and you never treated me like a stupid kid, even when everyone else did. You're perfect and I was born to be with you and… And… I never will!"

"Enzo-"

"I love you so much!" He felt the shame of a tear on his cheek now, but was powerless to stop it. "You were the one I was supposed to be with. Forever. Except I'm not even supposed to be here – I'm a mistake. And because of that I'll never have anybody. Never!"

"You're not a mistake! You're a miracle."

"Just stop-"

"You're a miracle, Enzo. And everyone here loves you, just like I do. No one ever thinks you shouldn't be here, or that you're a mistake. We love you!"

"It doesn't matter." He whispered. AndrAIa reached to wipe a tear from his face but he nudged her hand away. "I'm not supposed to exist, so there's never going to be anyone for me. Not like you."

"Enzo-" She tried to embrace him, but he pushed her away.

"I'm sorry I said anything. I know I'm a stupid kid and you don't deserve to have to deal with this stuff." He sobbed once, twice. "User, it's hard. I love you so much and I know I always will, and it doesn't even matter. But I couldn't help it – I had to tell you."

"It's all right. I understand, I really do."

How could she? "I'm going away soon, so… So it's better. You shouldn't have to deal with this. You're happy and everything and I don't want to ruin it."

"Don't say that." The game sprite kissed his cheek gently. "I wish you weren't leaving –we all do. You're our angel-"

"Sorry!" Enzo pushed himself to his feet and took a couple of slow, deep breaths. "I'll be OK. It's OK. I think I better just go to bed."

He strode towards his bedroom, wanting nothing now except the solace of solitude. She rose as if to follow. "Sparky-"

"Please leave me alone. Please? I'm really sorry but I just want to go to bed now."

"Oh, Enzo."

"Sorry!" He closed his door and her voice was lost to him. In the silence he could hear himself sobbing softly, and felt all the more disgusted for it. With a growl of frustration the young sprite threw himself on his bed, face down, and felt all the feelings – the pain, the sadness, and the gut-wrenching need – wash over him like a tidal wave. It was over now, at least – she knew him for what he was. A pathetic, sorry excuse for a man who didn't deserve to be loved by the likes of her. And, too tired in his very code even to change or shut off his light, he lay there for a long time and tried to forget everything that had happened since that fateful cycle outside the Principal Office, when his home was full of strangers and everything in his life changed.

All was silent, for a long time. Milliseconds or microseconds, the boy wasn't certain. When the creak of the door and the soft footfalls reached his ear, Enzo didn't move – didn't look up, didn't say a word. He wanted to be alone, but couldn't summon the will to order her away. His bedsprings sagged, and there was a soft touch in his hair. She didn't say anything to break the silence at first, just smoothed his hair slowly and gently. "You're so different from your brother…"

"Please leave me alone."

"So different." Enzo heard the game sprite sigh, her hand never leaving his hair. "So alike, too. But he changed, before he was your age. He got angry and afraid, and tried to protect himself more and more. So no one could hurt him."

"Please just… I want to be alone."

"No you don't. You've the same as you always were – you just want to be close to people. When you're hurt or you see someone else hurt… That's who you are. To love and be loved – that's who you are. It's easier to get hurt that way though, isn't it?"

Enzo opened his eyes at last, hoping they were dry. "I'm sorry I said all that stuff to you. You've always been so nice to me – nicer than anyone else. I'm sorry."

AndrAIa smiled and kissed him on the forehead. "Don't you be sorry. We are who we are – we can't change that. I wouldn't want you to be any different – you're very special, just like you are. If you weren't I'd never have left that game, all those hours ago."

"Oh, AndrAIa." The young man buried his head against her shoulder, trying hard not to cry again. The unfairness of it all was just too much. His love for her was perfect, pure – and it would always be the bane of his life. "I'm scared."

"Shhh. I know."

"What if there's no one else out there who understands me, Andri? I'm supposed to be with you – I know it! What if I'm all alone forever?"

"You won't be." The game sprite whispered, wrapping her arms around him. "I promise – someone will see how wonderful you are some cycle. I promise."

"Not like you." The boy stared at her smiling face, lost himself in her liquid eyes. "I don't think I can do it – I don't think I can be with anyone, Andri. Why would anybody want a crybaby like me? A copy? A mistake!"

"Not a mistake. A miracle. You're totally unique, Enzo – a special sprite, not like anyone else in the net. Your code may not be unique, but you are. Your code doesn't make you the person you are – what's in your heart does."

"AndrAIa, don't-"

"Hush, now." AndrAIa kissed his forehead again. "Trust me on this – any girl in the net would be lucky to have someone as sweet as you to take care of them."

Enzo sighed, breathed deep. "I… I'm just scared of… Going away. Being alone. I don't know if I can-"

"You'll be fine. You're strong."

As strong as him? Enzo had his doubts. "I'm scared of trying to- I don't know. Other people. Girls. All of it. I'm just scared."

"I know, Little Sparky. I was scared too – scared leaving my game for the first time, scared leaving Mainframe and trying to survive out there. That was a frightening time – you're brother was scared, too. Facing what you don't know always is."

"But you had each other." He whispered. AndrAIa sighed and squeezed him tight, and he returned the favor, grateful for the gesture. "I'll be all alone."

"I know you're scared." The game sprite held him, kissed his cheek. "But you don't have to be scared forever. We'll always be here. Just know how special you are, and you'll be fine."

"AndrAIa." Their eyes met and the boy stared into hers, unable to look away. "I love you."

"I know." She kissed his cheek again. "I love you too." Her face was just microns from his own, hovering there. There was doubt in her perfect eyes, hovering there as well. Then her lips were on his, dancing there softly for a nano before pulling away.

"AndrAIa?" Enzo had the sense that he was in a dream, that he'd drifted off to sleep with his face buried in his pillow, not realizing it. Her lips felt so real when they touched his, though – so soft, so sweet. "Oh, AndrAIa…"

"You're very special." She whispered, barely audible. "You're warm, caring… You're strong. You deserve to be loved – always." She kissed him again.

"Andri." The touch of her lips sent a fire through his body, a jolt that brought a tingle to every micron of his skin. "Oh, Andri!"

"Shhh." Her lips caressed his own, then his eyes, his nose, his ear. "Don't talk just now, OK?"

"Mmm?"

"Enzo… I love your brother very much. I know he can be… Difficult. Sometimes. He's seen terrible things, he's had to do… He's had a difficult time of it." AndrAIa kissed the boy's forehead and took his face in her hands. "I want you to know – I've faced the net and the web with him, and he with me. I've always been in love with him, through all of it – and I always will be. Do you understand?"

The onslaught on Enzo's senses had his processor reeling, overloaded with thoughts and feelings. "I… Sure."

The game sprite smiled. "That'll never change, Enzo. We faced everything together – everything." She stroked his hair again. "It means so much, having someone who loves you when you're scared, facing the unknown. When things started to change, for both of us – with our bodies, everything – thank the User we could face it together. When we discovered each other - as scary as it could have been, it was wonderful."

"Andri-"

"I don't want you to have to face that alone." She kissed him again, gently caressed his upper lip between her own. "You should be with someone who loves you when you face that, Sparky - it should be a wonderful nano in your life. You deserve that. And I love you."

"Mmm." Enzo could feel his hands as they caressed AndrAIa's back, her lips as they massaged his. If it was a dream, he never wanted it to end. Even as, in his processor, he knew what she'd said about his brother was true and unshakable. The nano was what it was – and they were together. "Oh, User!"

"Enzo." The game sprite smiled cheekily. "You're a pretty good kisser, you know that?"

"Mmm. Really?"

"I always knew." She sighed. "I always knew how you felt, I guess. I just tried to tell myself that it wasn't true, that I shouldn't worry about it. But I always knew." She kissed his neck softly. "I'm sorry it hurts so much, Enzo."

"I know."

"But we're here tonight, aren't we?" They shared a smile, and Enzo dared to find the silkiness of her neck with his lips, to inhale the sweet perfume of her, so faintly scented of the sea. "Enzo."

"Andri…"

"Hush now, Beautiful Boy." Her lips were on his neck again, lingering, tasting him. Her hands were in his hair and they were kissing, her sweet breath making him feel light, weightless even. His hands were on her neck, her back, her belly, boldly exploring places he'd barely dared dream of. And they were together. If it was a dream, he never wanted it to end.

"Let's take this off now." She whispered, tugging his t-shirt free of his jeans. "All right?"

"Y-yes."

The game sprite grinned mischievously. "Everything will be all right – I promise." Enzo felt the thrill of fear rising with his shirt as she lifted it over his head, slowly ran her hands down his bare shoulders. "Trust me, OK?"