Chapter 6 – The Adventures of Coffee Junkie and Patto

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! It is muchdiddly appreciated! I'm loving you guys like a $2 whore! Hehehehe! Yes, so anyway, get ready, brace yourselves… this chapter is ALL me! That's right! No me jibbing off bits of the episodes and trying to pass them off as my own! This is just a fun little chapter based on a real situation that happened to me! So there you go, real life IS handy! And, just as a random note, the weird names that appear in this chapter (Agapantha and Chondelier) were invented by me for the 3in6 video competition (where you make a 3 minute video in 6 hours), which, evidently, my group came 5th in the state in! Go us! Woohoo! Let the celebrations begin! Where's Taylor, I'm sure he can invent a festival to commemorate this momentous occasion!... yes… anyway… on with it!

ProFfeSseR: aha… but for how long? Hehehe

Julians Angel: lots of java junkie coming your way!

Franala: oh! I forgot about Sookie! I'll have to make her pop up somewhere later…

ALIASobsessed89: hello friendly new reviewer! That's for your comments, keep 'em coming!

ocdwithlhg: well, it's a very strange story. I'm a fan of McLeod's Daughters (which I have shamelessly promoted in other chapters), and when Claire's baby was born, she called it BOM before she could think of a real name (BOM stands for Baby of McLeod – McLeod being Claire's last name). yes, so anyway, my friend Katie, who also watches McLeod's was trying to think of a nickname to call me, and came up with BOM. And so, my penname was born.

bellechik15: aahh! New reviewer! Thanks for taking the time to read my story and comment on it. Much appreciated!

Cammie: lol I know! I love Friends… but trust me, it was not intended to be Friendsish. I tried to make him say the same thing in other words, but it was too hard! I hate Jason! He can go… do something rude. Oh! DIRTY! Lol!

Another random note, I'm loving the song 'I don't wanna be' by Gavin DeGraw. Yes, another shameless plug. Anywho… on with the show!

Lorelai sat at the counter in Luke's diner early that evening on her laptop. She had just got away from the Dragonfly, and Luke was still relatively busy at the diner, so she brought her laptop to amuse herself. Her internet cable had once again taken residence in Luke's fax line, and she once again had made her statue of menus.

"What? Who is that?" Lorelai said, out loud to her laptop as Luke came out of the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" he asked, putting a plate of burger and fries down in front of a customer a few stools away from Lorelai.

"I'm on MSN messenger, and some random person has just added me," she replied, typing away quickly.

"What are you talking about?" Luke questioned, leaning against the counter and watching her.

"MSN Messenger. You know, you can chat to your friends online and stuff. Rory just introduced me to it a few weeks ago. And now, this weird random guy called 'Patto' has just added me. Patto? What sort of a name is 'Patto'??" Lorelai questioned, holding her hands up and gesturing towards the computer. Luke just raised an eyebrow at her.

"Ooh he just asked me what my name is. What should I say?" Lorelai asked, looking up at him. Luke gave her a 'dah' look.

"Uh, Lorelai…"

"Nah, I want to say something cool like… what's a weird name?" she asked.

"Why do you have to tell this person a weird name?" Luke questioned.

"Because it's fun! Now come on, help me think of one," Lorelai replied, tilting her head up a little and thinking. Luke rolled his eyes and pretended to look deep in thought.

"Ooh! Agapantha!"

"Agapantha?! Isn't that a plant?!" Luke questioned.

"Chondelier!"

"Now you sound like a prostitute."

"Agapantha it is! But my friends call me 'Aggi'," Lorelai said in a high pitched voice with a smile. Luke just rolled his eyes and began wiping down the counter. Lorelai typed away for a minute and Luke watched her intently as she smiled at the screen. Her mouth suddenly dropped open, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Ah… this guy just asked me if I like Josie and the Pussycats? I'm guessing he is referring to the new, teened up movie, as apposed to the original series. Yeah… okay… hmm… yeah it's a little gay…" she said, typing it all down, "and you're a guy… so now I'm starting to worry about your sexual orientation…"

"Are you writing that down?!" Luke asked, amazed. Lorelai laughed.

"Yeah, but I'm not being serious, Luke! No one is ever serious on msn! It's a joke," she said with a smile, bringing her hand right up before pressing the enter key, for effect.

"Right… you want some food now?" Luke asked.

"Ah… yeah sure, burger and fries please," she replied.

"You can't use that laptop AND eat at the same time."

"Yes I can!"

"No you can't."

"Well in that case, cancel the food, I'll eat in a minute," Lorelai replied. Luke rolled his eyes and went to serve some other customers. Luke came back a few moments later, and Lorelai was looking outraged.

"He called me a dyke!" she said.

"Who?"

"Patto! After my little joke he said 'omg u dyke don't call me gay'! I so hate this guy!" Lorelai said. "Well… FINE! 'well, hey at least that means you won't crack onto me!'" she typed.

"Did you write that too?" Luke asked, coming around the counter to see what she was doing.

"Lukey, you need to keep up with things here!" Lorelai replied. Lorelai's computer made the 'incoming message' noise and she bounced in her seat with excitement.

"Ooh! I love fights with internet randoms!" she said. "Okay, okay, here we go… and he says… 'ur the only chick I know I haven't asked 2 marry me'… okay! Someone's a little desperate!" Luke just watched intently over Lorelai's shoulder.

"'well I feel truly honoured to be the only woman left with a little bit of dignity'," she typed quickly before pressing enter once again. She waited a minute before something else popped up on the screen. "Ooh okay, look at this Lukey," she said, pulling him by the collar even further over her shoulder.

Patto says:

I'm soooooo hurt by that comment

Patto says:

I think i might go cry...........not

coffee junkie says:

lol ok the whole 'not' thing is SO pre-1999... so u might want to start learning a few more comebacks

Patto says:

and that comment is soooo like crap where u get that from bring it on?

coffee junkie says:

lol FUNNY movie... just great mockable features... gotta love something u can mock...

coffee junkie says:

like u for example!

coffee junkie says:

this is like SO totally like awesomely awesome! wow! i can't believe the totally awesome like pinkness of the situation! yeah! ahah!

"What was that?" Luke asked, his face screwed up a little, looking awfully confused.

"Shh, quiet you, just watch. The best is yet to come my friend," she replied, now pulling his face slightly closer to her, as well as the screen.

Patto says:

rrrriiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhttttttttt.........

coffee junkie says:

i'm thinking u need to get a life

Patto says:

im thinking u need 2 go sit on the washing machine or sumthing

Patto says:

cos u r reli up tight

Lorelai's mouth dropped open in shock. "He cannot say that to me!"

"What?! What does that mean?!" Luke asked, squinting his eyes at the screen, not understanding.

"Luke! Think about it!" Lorelai replied. Luke looked at the screen for a minute before it clicked.

"He cannot say that to you! I want to punch him in the face!" Luke said, reaching for the laptop. Lorelai quickly shielded it from him.

"Luke, hurting the laptop isn't going to hurt him! It's only going to irritate me because the computer will break before I get a chance to reply. Now let's just play it cool," she said, holding up her hands and letting out a deep relaxing breath before placing her fingers back on the keyboard.

coffee junkie says:

yeah... someone needs to stop watching Scrubs.... its not on anymore dude! GET OVER IT!

"What? I don't get that," Luke said.

"Of course you don't, you're Luke."

Patto says:

wtf has that got 2 do wit scrubs?

coffee junkie says:

yeah, okay... obviously not getting the reference... learn some pop culture!

"And… block," Lorelai said, pressing the block button and smiling.

"I still don't get that Scrubs thing," Luke said.

"Oh it was this episode where Elliot… okay, Luke, sweetie, that is beside the point. The point is, I win," Lorelai said, turning away from the computer and smiling at Luke.

"There shouldn't be anything to win! You picked a fight with him! You're not supposed to do that!"

"I didn't pick a fight with him! He took my joke the wrong way and I had no choice but to retaliate!" Lorelai replied innocently.

"Well you could have at least used an emoticon that indicated you were joking," Luke said, pointing at the screen.

"I don't do emoticons, and anyway, that would have just – hang on, how do you know what an emoticon is?" Lorelai asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"What? Oh… ah, no I don't… I just saw the name on the screen so I figured…" Luke said awkwardly. Lorelai's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Oh my gosh! You have MSN!" Lorelai said.

"I do NOT!" Luke replied.

"Luke Danes, you SO have MSN Messenger!" Lorelai said, getting out of her seat and smiling broadly, poking Luke playfully in the chest.

"I don't," he replied, walking around the counter and starting to wipe it down vigorously. Lorelai followed him around.

"You're an MSN junkie! You go on every night and chat to all your Star Trek friends and you talk about how… umm… Captain Kirk should… ah… wear glasses and… that you all want… ah… that chick, I don't know her name…"

"I don't have MSN."

"What's you address?"

"I told you, I don't have MSN."

"What's your address?" Lorelai asked again, persistently.

"I don't have MSN."

"Luke!"

"What?!"

"Luke!"

"Luke."

"What?!"

"It's Luke, okay, are you happy?" Luke said, admitting defeat.

"Your email address is… luke?"

"Not just Luke, its Luke and a series of numbers."

"What numbers?" Lorelai asked teasingly.

"I'll tell you if you tell me your email address."

"Fine. coffeequeen69. What are the numbers?" Lorelai asked.

"Its…" Luke looked away, cringed for a moment, and whispered, "its luke007."

"007?"

"That's what I said, now keep quiet," he replied, hushing her. She burst out laughing.

"Oh my gosh! That makes me a Bond girl!" she laughed.

"What?" Luke asked. Lorelai just kept on laughing. Luke looked at her disapprovingly. And she was still laughing.

"Do you want your food now?" he asked, crossing his arms. She nodded and continued her laughing fit.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I don't know if Scrubs is still on in the US... but it's not on in OZ atm, so yes, the reference has some sort of relevance. heehehehe i LOVE Luke! Please review! Come on, press that little button, you know you want to! Did i mention how good looking you are?