Under the stars,

everything seems so clear

as the full moon burns away all doubt

I had before I met you.

Then you were gone,

and everything became a shadow

beneath the uncaring sun.

-----------------------

Tsume wondered how he had gotten into this mess. Less than twenty four hours ago, he had almost run someone over after they ran into the street. Now, this Kiba fellow, fresh from the hospital with a broken collarbone, was staying with them! God, sometimes he resented the persuasive powers his brother held over him. Tsume let the runt do almost anything he wanted. (Although Toboe rarely made mistakes in judgement.)

His brother was still far too kind for Tsume's taste sometimes. This just seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. He watched Toboe pull out the mattress from the couch in the living room and gather blankets from the hall closet. The whole time, Kiba just stood in the doorway watching him, with this blank look. Maybe the look wasn't blank, exactly, but more like a confused and knowing look at the same time. Kiba also seemed like he wanted to leave, but something was making him stay.

How someone could have such opposite appearances, Tsume didn't know. This Kiba person was way too strange. For all they knew, he was a homicidal maniac.

"Tsume." Tsume jumped and nearly dropped his mug of coffee on the kitchen floor.

"Sorry," Toboe said as he grabbed a paper towel and mopped up some spilt coffee from the table. "but, do you know where the extra pillows are?"

"I don't like this, Runt." Might as well try again, he thought.

Suddenly, Toboe flopped onto the chair across from Tsume and put his head down on the wooden table. Tsume nearly got up to see what was wrong, but his brother spoke softly into the table.

"I don't know why I'm doing this," he said into the wood grain. "I just feel…I just feel…"

"Toboe, are you okay?" If this situation was making him upset, Tsume would put a finish to it quickly. (Though, it had been his brother's idea in the first place.)

But, Toboe straightened up, crossed his arms in front of him, and looked Tsume straight in the eye. "I just feel something strange when I look at him."

What was that supposed to mean? Tsume immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"Hey, I know he's pretty…for a guy…but you're only fifteen, and you don't even know him," Tsume said slowly. "Besides…I didn't think you…drove on that side of the road…" By the time Tsume was finished, Toboe was giving him a splendid glare.

"Not that kind of something, stupid. Yeesh."

Tsume started to get angry. How was he supposed to see into his little brother's head? "Why don't you explain it to me then, Runt? What the hell would make you want to invite a perfect stranger into our apartment?" He leaned across the table and glared at Toboe.

All anger was gone from the boy's face. Toboe leaned over the table, so that Tsume could hear his whisper. "…I think I know him," he said with a frightened look.

Tsume shrugged off his little brother's explanation and waved him away. "I think you should take care of our guest before he steals something."

Toboe looked stricken for a second, then regained his composure and left Tsume alone in the kitchen. Tsume wondered why the runt would have said something so stupid. Obviously, they didn't know this person. Kiba had only been here for a day by his own account. Maybe Kiba was playing some sort of head game with the boy. If he tried anything funny, Tsume would kick him out in a heartbeat.

He had no remembrance of ever meeting Kiba, and that meant Toboe had never met him, either.

--------------------

Kiba straightened from leaning on the door when Toboe came back in from the kitchen.

"There should be an extra pillow in my closet, and I'll find you something to change into. I'll be back in a minute…Feel free to sit down."

He took the boy's invitation and moved to the bed that had been made for him. Slowly, he lowered himself onto the dark blue comforter covered with stars and crescent moons. The living room Kiba was sitting in was fairly large. To the left, Kiba saw the hallway, which led to the bathroom and the two brother's rooms. To the right was the kitchen. Tsume sat in there, drinking from a steaming mug, glaring at him like usual.

Kiba averted his gaze quickly, and looked straight in front of him. The door. It was so close. In five steps Kiba could be outside again. Running. He could find her.

They call this one Chesa.Kiba looked at Tsume to see if he had heard the quiet voice, which spoke in his mind about every ten minutes. She said different things, about moonflowers and paradise and wolves.

Kiba thought he was going insane.

This voice was talking to him, telling him he needed to find her. Chesa. Kiba needed to find Chesa.

Now, she was just starting singly softly again, a tune that made his heart want to melt. At least the little voice inside his head wasn't telling him to kill anybody. But it wasn't his imagination…This voice belonged to a real person. Kiba knew it for sure.

He slumped backwards onto the bed, spreading out his uninjured arm as he looked at the ceiling. Tiny cracks looked like little rivers snaking their way across the white countryside. Slowly, Kiba kicked of his shoes. Staying still was nice. He realized he didn't like running. If he didn't have to run, he didn't want to.

Her song was so soothing. She wanted him to stay. He could tell.

Kiba needs his restChesa said softly in the back of his head after her song finished.

But, Kiba pushed himself back up into a sitting position to think some more. His legs hung limply off the side of the bed above dirty sneakers, and his shoulder hurt. Why couldn't he remember anything before this morning?

This one will tell you soon.

Kiba smiled to himself. He could wait, if she wanted him to. Everything was clearer now that Chesa calmed him. Even if nothing made sense, she did.

A loud clatter noise came from the kitchen, and Kiba looked over to Tsume, who had dropped his dishes in the sink. The two were caught in another stare down. There were no malicious feelings, just a tension. Kiba felt the tug. Why didn't Tsume seem to notice? He just went back to cleaning the counter as if he felt nothing.

"What do you have against me?" Kiba asked loudly.

Tsume ignored him for a minute. "Sorry I don't trust crazy people who run into the street and then expect to be taken in."

"You didn't have to…"

"Yes I did," Tsume replied shortly and walked out of the kitchen, through the living room, and into his room. The door slammed just as Toboe came in from the hall carrying a bundle of pillows and clothing.

"Don't mind him," he said smiling. Kiba could tell it was a forced smile. "He gets grumpy sometimes." Toboe put the pillow down on the end of the bed and handed Kiba an old t-shirt and pajama pants. "They're Tsume's…he won't mind."

Kiba took the clothing with a thank you.

"You're welcome. It's almost ten thirty, so I'm going to go to bed. Bathroom's down the hall. Tsume gets up at seven to go to work…I think that's all you need to know. Oh, I don't have school tomorrow because it's Saturday. I'll show you around the city a little…Are you sure you've never been here before?"

Kiba snapped out of a little reverie he had gone into while listening to Toboe's monologue. "…I don't think so."

"Oh," Toboe looked slightly embarrassed.

"Why?" Kiba was hopeful. Maybe Toboe knew something about his past.

"I was just wondering," Toboe lied.

"Oh," Kiba looked at the floor.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, then."

"Good night," Kiba whispered.

Good night, Kiba.

-----------------------------

Kiba was a wolf, a beautiful, white wolf, and he was running through snow. There was no cold, just the warmth of his fur. He could see everything, hear everything. There were birds high above him, circling around the full moon. Falcons, he could hear their screams.

And, he knew where he was going. Paradise. The idea, so abstract, kept running through his mind. He smelled the flowers again, moonflowers, and heard her voice. Chesa sang to him as he remembered his true self.

Then, the other wolves were with him. Four of them, including him, ran through the snow, leaving scattered footprints in their wake. The bracelet jangled, getting softer and softer as the smallest got farther behind.

Kiba stopped, waited. He was in a hurry, but they mattered more. The grey wolf looked aggravated. He pawed the snow and barked for the others to hurry up. He circled Kiba, impatiently. The cross scar on the wolf's chest came in and out of his vision.

The little brown wolf finally arrived, but one was still missing. The snow became heavier. Kiba howled. There was no response. The blizzard surrounded them. Why wasn't the last of them here?

Chesa stopped singing.

Slowly, sinister laughter reached Kiba's ears. He turned, but the snow was so thick. He couldn't see. The laughter became louder and grey wolf growled as the little one whimpered, tail between his legs.

"Who's there?!" Kiba yelled. He was naked in the snow now, a human again. The other wolves were gone.

"You'll know soon." The low voice growled. A wolf screamed in pain.

----------------------------

"HIGE!!"

Kiba pushed the covers off himself as he sat upright. He had had a dream. His first dream. But, this had been more…What had he said?

A name. The name of the lost wolf. And suddenly, Kiba knew the names of the other wolves. Toboe. Tsume.

Rays of white light made their way through the open curtains, blinding him. Kiba shielded his eyes for a second, then got up and padded to the window. Everything was still a mess in his head. Wolves and snow. Wolves and snow. Where was Chesa?

The moon was full outside, a single beacon in the black sky. His hand crept to the blinds to close them, but it stopped short. He just stood still, taking in the rays. Everything had just started to make sense, but the dream was fading faster than the melting snow. Wolves. Was he a wolf in human clothing? It had all seemed so real. He could have tasted the snowflakes as they fell, but Chesa wasn't saying anything.

Kiba started to pace back and forth in his little patch of moonlight. Somehow, it felt invigorating, just basking in the cold light, but that was of little importance, now. He had been thinking about Paradise, running to find it, his purpose in life, his dream. But, hadn't he found it already? Chesa had bloomed, so many flowers.

But, this was a filthy city. Was this the Paradise he had been looking for?

Had he been a wolf?

Where was Chesa?

There had been a man in his dream. Was it a man, or a wolf? He couldn't remember.

The flickering candle of his memory erupted, sending him flashes of unsequenced images and Kiba wept at the inability to put them together. Blue eyes. Pink eyes. Yellow eyes. Humans. Wolves. Moonflowers. The moon that floated in the sky right outside the apartment.

Slowly, he slid to his knees, facing the window and looked blankly at the wall underneath. Kiba leaned his forehead against the cool then forcefully knocked his head on it. Again. He had to remember. Why couldn't he see through the snow? Again. The other wolves, Toboe and Tsume, were they the people he was staying with, or was he just putting their names on the two wolves in his dream? Again.

It didn't even hurt when he punched the wall with his fist. Kiba traced the indentation he had made with his fingertips. He wanted to hear Chesa's voice, for her to explain his past, to put together the puzzle pieces of memory. She wasn't with him. He had gotten so used to her presence.

He had been a wolf, once. He was certain, now, as his head hit the wall for the fifth time. That was the only explanation he could come up with on his own, but it seemed so inadequate to explain what he wanted to know. A tiny drop of blood ran down his nose and onto his lips. Kiba licked the metallic tang away.

Kiba wiped the rest of the blood from the scratch away with his arm, and looked at the streak of red. This body was a shell, a mere memory of the glory it had once contained. He was no wolf now, only human. Only human. Kiba turned around and looked into the slightly illuminated room. His eyes could barely make out the outlines of the bed, or the location of the door he desparately wanted to run through to find her. And the flashes came again.

Pain. So much pain. He had been shot, stabbed, cut. His white fur was stained red. Things had been put in him to take his blood. And the others suffered as well….They had died. For Paradise. For him.

Still, Chesa didn't speak.

"Where are you?" Kiba whispered plaintively and stretched his hand into the dark. He quickly retracted it and put his arms around his knees as he tucked them under his chin. Thankfully, Kiba's shoulder didn't hurt anymore.

But, his head was filled with memories he couldn't understand. He could see Tsume. They were fighting. Kiba was disgusted at the human guise the other wolf wore. So many pictures. The channels kept changing. Now he saw Chesa, felt her arms around his neck as they met for the first time.

Kiba fell asleep with the memory of their first embrace.

----------------------------

Toboe found Kiba sleeping in the corner the next morning. He had no idea how Tsume could have missed the man huddled in a little ball under the window, but sometimes Tsume was very late for work and just left the house without a second thought.

The boy didn't know what to do. There was dried blood on Kiba's left arm, probably from the small gash he had on his forehead. And, to Toboe's horror, there was a circle of crimson on the wall next to Kiba, above a sizable dent. The teenager decided to back away slowly before the strange picture before him precluded all his rational thinking.

Toboe headed for the kitchen and started the coffee maker. The smell cleared his still groggy mind; he had gotten up early for a Saturday, at 8:00, so Kiba wouldn't wake up alone. Since Toboe felt uneasy about his guest for the first time, he opened a drawer under the microwave and grabbed Tsume's hunting knife, just incase. Toboe sat down at the kitchen table and waited for the coffee to finish. He slipped the knife into one of his cargo pockets.

When Toboe finally started to drink from his warm mug, he regretted taking the knife out. The scene in the living room hadn't really diminished his sense of trust in Kiba, even though he didn't know him at all. Sometimes you just had to believe in the good in people. (Toboe did it a lot with Tsume.) But, this was different. He had never seen Kiba before…but he knew he had.

Toboe listened to the rustles in the living room as Kiba woke up. He waited patiently for his guest to come into the kitchen, but after ten minutes, he popped his head out to see what was going on.

Kiba immedieately turned and hid his arm behind his back. Toboe flinched.

"We have antiseptic for that scratch on your head…Do you want to take a shower?"

Kiba flushed and slowly nodded.

"Towels are on the top shelf of the closet. There should be plenty of hot water."

Toboe went back into the kitchen. For some strange reason, he wasn't worried about the crazy person in his house. He was alone with a person, who had obviously just viciously hurt himself the night before, and then slept on the floor in the fetal position. But, Toboe continued to sip at his coffee as if nothing mattered. He just felt an overwhelming sense of eagerness to help his guest. The sun was out, and he couldn't wait to show Kiba around the city.

Toboe had finished his coffee by the time Kiba silently came in, rubbing a towel over his damp hair. Toboe was up in a flash and serving him as soon as he sat down.

"I thought I'd help you look for a place today…not that we want to kick you out or anything."

Kiba just stared into his cup. Toboe sighed. This was very awkward. He wanted to talk to Kiba, figure things out, but he was so embarrassed. Toboe wasn't one to push.

Finally Kiba broke the silence with a whisper. "Do you remember me?"

"But…but you said you had never been here before."

"I haven't."

"Then how could I have seen you before?" Toboe wouldn't admit anything and seem crazier than the person across the table from him.

"We met…before."

"Before what?"

"Paradise," he whispered and glanced at Toboe to gage a reaction.

The boy kept his face still, but his heart leaped. The mention of that word gave him so much hope. Why?

"Who are you?" Toboe asked letting his emotions show.

"I don't know."

"What do you…"

Kiba stared down at the table again. "I had a dream. I was a wolf. There were others wolves with me, running in the snow…you were one of them."

"I don't…"

"We were looking for Paradise. Chesa was singing then she stopped. I haven't heard her since."

"Who is…"

"There was a dark person…and Hige…He was hurting Hige."

"Hige?" Toboe thought of the person he saw on the street the other day, but shrugged it off.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I trust you," Toboe said with full conviction. Then, he got up, and cleared his empty coffee mug from the table. At the sink, he paused for a minute, unsure of what to do next. Once again, he was unsure why he implicitly trusted the strange man sitting at the kitchen table, but he did. Toboe wouldn't bother Kiba about his strange midnight behavior, just be supportive until both of them could figure things out. He turned around.

"We'll go to the library today, see if we can find anything remotely relating to your dream."

"Thank you," Kiba whispered with a look of utter gratitude.

"That's what friends are for." Toboe had an urge to give Kiba a hug, but quelched it. Things were going well, and he didn't want to ruin the bond they had just formed. "Anytime you're ready to leave, we can go."

"Now."