The Fine Print: Daniel Knauf and HBO own Carnivale and, unfortunately, Justin and Iris.

Minutes Like Hours

By twinb80

Chapter Fourteen: The Lioness

Her memories ended and Iris was once again in her room. Alone. Exhausted by the trip down memory lane she let her body fall back from its sitting position and curled up on her bed. Her hand played unconsciously with a thread from her bedspread. Even after almost twenty years she could still feel his hands on her body from that night. He had loved her than with an unwavering adoring passion. She had been his and his alone. No other woman had been in his bed and felt the touch of his lips against theirs. It had just been the two of them for the longest time. Except for the affair with Norman she had been faithful to Justin. Even Tommy Dolan hadn't gotten as far as Norman had. Tommy had been kind to her before he knew the truth about the fire. She knew that he only wanted to be close to her so he could become closer to Justin and his story. He had been honest with her about his intentions towards her brother and she could not say that he had lied to her. No Tommy had been honest about wanting more listeners and more money for his career. She had allowed him to pay her attention so that she could further Justin's destiny. Not that his attention hadn't been flattering. She was flattered but she knew that it could not go anywhere. A small part of her had wanted to kiss him back and forget for a moment who she was. But she didn't allow herself this indulgence to take place. Instead she had told him that he should have been ashamed of himself for kissing her. She wasn't stupid. She knew that Tommy probably thought a little kiss here and there would be all right since they had spent so much time together. But it wasn't all right. He had no claim to her as a woman and kissing her had been crossing the line. Justin would surely have not approved and so she had quickly gotten out of Tommy's car and stormed into the house.

She didn't know what she would have done if Justin had never come back home. She knew how to work and could support herself if she had too. But she also knew that Justin would be coming home because he would have questions only she could answer. So she had waited for his returning with each passing day. Except for his time away in school they had never really been separated. Not until his wanderings in the wilderness. Where he refound who he was. Not until he learned of his birthright and how she had kept it from him. She had done this to protect him until the time was right. Their time apart had almost been her undoing. During the day she was in control and showed no fear to those around her. Or to those who had whispered that Justin might not be coming back. They didn't know anything. She knew in her heart that he would be back. But while he was gone her nights had become the longest part of her day. She had come to dread the nights alone in their home. He wasn't there to listen to the radio with her at night. A tradition they had started after moving into their new home that first year in Mintern. He wasn't there to talk to or to listen to as he practiced one of his sermons. Their home had lain still and silent at night. His empty presence had echoed in every corner of every room. She had found herself unable to bare his absence. To be closer to him she had ended up staying in his room. She slept in his bed and found comfort in the scent he had left behind. She felt closer to him this way and the nights had begun to feel not so long. He had stayed away from her lost in his own thoughts and revelations. She longed for his safe return but knew that he would be upset with her when he did return. She had not heard him enter their house or his room until she felt his hand on her mouth. Frightened she had awaken fearing for her life. Her eyes had finally settled on him leaning over her and she could not tell what he was thinking. He appeared a change man and Iris didn't know what he would do with her now. She watched as he tenderly stroked her face and then blushed when he kissed her. His kiss had been chaste and at the same time promised for something more. Still uncertain of his motives she had laid still as he sat back up and watched her. He could have taken her then and there if he wanted too. But that wasn't the game he was playing that night. Instead he had acted like a child and questioned her past decisions. She had put a stop to that and then he had listened as she told him what she knew of his destiny. In the morning Tommy Dolan had reappeared. She had played her cards well and Justin had gone off in a huff to the other room. In the end he finally appeared on Tommy's radio show and their lives had never been the same since.

The past few months washed over her and she closed her eyes. They had once been so close and now he was forever pushing her away. Why? She didn't understand why he was doing this to her. To them. After his spell in the Temple of Jericho she had told him she wouldn't be sacrificed and she meant it. He knew it too but he had still stung her along in thinking she would go to jail for the fire. He had meant to hurt her for her past actions and she suspected for keeping him in the dark all those years. Could he not see that she had done it to protect him? She had sacrificed everything for him to be where he was now. And yet he was treating her like some flea on a dog that needed to be washed away. He had said she was forgiven for the fire. He had even called her Irina and sealed her forgiveness with a chaste kiss on her check. And he had done and said all of this in front of Tommy Dolan too. And yet his actions since her confession spoke otherwise. She had been pushed aside and others had taken her place as his confident. That had hurt her most of all. He knew that would and yet he continued to exclude her from his life. Instead of confiding in her he had put her through penance and made her think that would be taken from his side. When that didn't happen she thought he would finally come back to her. She had been wrong again. He had purposely led her around in circles. In the end she had kneeled on broken class for him and it had been for nothing. Their mother would never have allowed him to do this to her and she let him know it. His reply had been cold and mean spirited. "Mother is dead." She hadn't let him see the tears that had formed in her eyes. He knew how special their mother was to her and he had purposely hurt her with his reply. He had also taken back any control she thought she had gained. Iris opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling above her.

He had found other ways to hurt her too. She had not been privy to his conversations with Varlyn Stroud or with Wilfred Smith. She hadn't even met Varyln Stroud and she already didn't like him. Justin had spared her from a life in prison for her crime. But at the same time he had made their new home her jail. He had also taunted her with the maids coming in and out of their house. She knew what he was doing with these girls and yet she continued to hire them. She had seen what he had done with Celeste and had even had to clean up after him when he was done with the girl. The poor girl had gone mad from her nights with Justin. A part of her had felt sorry for Celeste. The girl was just a piece on the chess board and not even a very important piece at that. Iris had comforted the girl and taken care of matters. Like she always did when it came to Justin. He had acted like nothing was wrong and so she had said nothing to him. He continued to taunt her with the young pretty girls. The maids had been a slap in her face. She knew she wasn't the young pretty woman who had nightmares and who would come to his bedroom. She hadn't been that young woman in a long time and seeing these girls was a constant reminder of that. Before he had gained such a huge following and they had moved to this farmhouse he had been happy with who she had become. Before the visions and the Ministry he had adored her. It had just been them and they had grown older together and were happy. Even after his radio broadcast and learning the truth about the fire he had still wanted her. Her age had not been a problem and he had not looked at another woman yet. He had wanted her then and she let him take her whenever he pleased. But then he began to distance himself from her and he shut her out when talking with Tommy Dolan. She had been pushed aside and now one young girl after another was in his bed. Not her. Iris closed her eyes again. Everything he had done to her was out of spite. She knew this and as she thought about everything that had happened between them she became anger. How dare he treat her like this. She wasn't one of his followers to be told what to do or to be tossed aside when he was done with them. She was his sister and without her he wouldn't have survived to live to see this day. She sat up and thought some more. Did he think he was the only one who had ever touched her?

Tommy Dolan really hadn't counted even though Justin had offered her to him. That had hurt too. But if Justin wanted her with Tommy than she would have gone. Not permanently but she still would have with Tommy if Justin wished it. Tommy had declined and she had been embarrassed yet again. She knew that Justin thought something had gone on between her and Tommy when he was gone. How she wished at this moment that she had gone to bed with Tommy. Just so she could throw this fact in his face. She was so upset with him now that if he wasn't careful she was going to slap him one day soon. She didn't care if it was in front of the migrants or the newspaper reporters. She feared that if she started slapping him she wouldn't be able to stop and all her past hurt would come out in a rage. No she couldn't embarrass him like that in public. Their fighting was a private matter. And if it were ever to come to blows Iris wanted it to be only between herself and Justin. Privacy was something they valued highly. She knew that a public fighting would bring disgrace to his mission. If she wanted to talk with him then she had to do it in the privacy of their home. And sometimes she couldn't even do that. Anger filled her once more and she glanced over at the clock on her nightstand. The time read nearly ten at night but she knew Justin would still be awake. She got up from her bed and grabbed her robe out of the closet. Even if he didn't want to talk to her she wanted to talk to him. She would not take no for an answer or be pushed aside yet again. She closed her bedroom door and made her way towards Justin's room. She was furious with how he had treated her over the past months and she wasn't going to stand for it any longer. She wanted to hurt. As he had hurt her with keeping her in the dark and with the maids taunting who she used to be. He was finally going to get a taste of his own medicine and she was going to tell him the truth. The truth that he wasn't the only man to have taken her to bed and given her pleasure. She wanted to see his face as he heard this news. She wanted to hurt him as painfully as he had hurt her and this was her only option left. She knew she was being childish but she didn't care. She wasn't going to be pushed aside and left behind. She wasn't some flea to be swatted away. She was the lion and the sooner he realized that the better. Her walk ended and she found herself outside Justin's door. She knocked on his door and he opened it. He was already dressed in his nightclothes and she could see that he had already turned down his bed. He looked down at her with a questionable look on his face. That tethered between curiosity and annoyance. She looked him straight in the eye and said one thing.

"We need to talk."

He raised an eyebrow and seemed to be thinking of a way to get rid of her. She wouldn't let him do that and she pushed him aside and walked into his room. He closed the door behind him and then there was only silence that filled the hallway.