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Chapter 2: ME LOVES YOU!

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As Kenshin made lunch (kie-san: I know we said dinner in the last chapter, but we changed our minds! Live with it!) he pondered his predicament.

He could not communicate.

At all.

After all, what the hell did "oro" mean anyway?

It was a random sound effect his shishou made when he was drunk!

He could try writing, but his handwriting was illegible! Even worse than Watsuki's!

Damn his master.

A swordsman who can write well is a girly man. Don't be a girly man! (aku-chan: Arnold Schwarzzeneger's actually Hiko's descendant!)

"Kenshin?" a small voice interrupted his thoughts. He turned to see Kaoru standing at the doorway, looking unusually shy.

"Oro?" Kenshin said, deeming the word appropriate for the situation.

"I-I know you've been through a lot…. a-as Hitokiri Battousai and all…" she said nervously, twiddling her thumbs. "B-but we've been living together for a long time now… and I've realized…" She looked at Kenshin, approaching with newfound determination, her face flushed with emotion. "I LOVE YOU!"

A strange wave of uneasy silence washed over both of them.

Cricket-cricket…

"Oro?" Kenshin finally managed, his eyes bugging out.

"K-Kenshin… please," she begged quietly, her eyes filling with tears. "Say something…"

"…oro…" Kenshin eeped. Kaoru gave him a desperate look.

"No… Ken…shin…" She wavered, swaying slightly. "I think I'm gonna faint… Catch… meeeee…" She fell, as if in slow motion, but Kenshin, still paralyzed by her declaration, found he couldn't move.

Thump.

She landed on the packed dirt floor, flat on her face.

Seconds ticked by, and soon she regained consciousness, Kenshin still frozen by the counter.

"Keeennnshinnn…." A familiarly ominous voice hissed. Hitting her head must've woken the other Kaoru! (Kenshin swore she was a schizo just like him).

"Oro?" he squeaked. She was up with god like speed that challenged even him, surprising him out of his wits.

"IDECLAREMYLOVEFORYOUANDALLYOUCANSAYIS(-BLEEEP-)IN'ORO?" She screamed at the top of her lungs, making all the birds in the surrounding area fly off in fear. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"Oro-ro oro oro-ro!" Kenshin tried to explain, but this just seemed to fuel Kaoru's rage more.

"STOP. SAYING. THAT. WORD." She hissed, her eyes burning and her hair standing on end. "OR. I. WILL. PERSONALLY BURN THAT (-BEEP-) LAUNDRY TUB."

"OROOOOO!" Kenshin screamed in horror, as he bolted out of the kitchen, until Kaoru caught his leg.

"No! Wait! Kenshin!" She yelled frantically, her eyes welling with tears again. "I didn't mean it!"

"Oro?"

"I told you to stop saying that (-bleeeeep-)ing word, rurouni," she hissed, her eyes shifting into a different shade of blue.

"Leave him alone! Kenshin's just troubled!" she retorted to herself, her eyes changing colors again.

"Like heck he is!"

"You just can't understand him!"

"I understand (-bleep-)ing enough about his life to (-bleeep-)ing know that ten years is long enough to brood on past (-beeeep-)ing crimes! MOVE ON!"

"Don't talk to Kenshin like that! He's very sensitive!"

"He sleeps with a (-bleep-)ing teddy bear! That's too (-bleep-)ing sensitive! He's such a girly man!"

"ORO-RO!" Kenshin's eyes were practically popping out of his head as he thrashed his leg around and escaped the demon clutches of Kaoru/Evil Tanuki. He ran away, screaming for help ("oro roor orororo ro!").

"No! Kenshin! Don't wander away! Don't leeeaaveee meeee!"

"Yeah, that's right! Run you (-beeeeep-)ing (-beep-) before I catch your sorry (-bleeeep-)!"

And that's how Kaoru's schizophrenia became apparent to the red head.

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Authoresses note:

Kie-san: O.O

Aku-chan: O.o

Kie-san: (-dies from heart attack-)

Aku-chan: (-brings her back to life with tensaiga-) I stole this from Sesshy-kun! (for those of you who don't watch InuYasha, this will be confusing).

Kie-san: HOLY CRAP! FOUR REVIEWS!

Aku-chan: You people liked this?

Kie-san: WE LOVE YOU!

Reviewer Responses:

Valorama: REALLY? Thank you!

Anime Shark: We reap! A very very dangerous combination, which will be proven next chapter!

Maru-kun: We made you laugh! Good! Our work here is done.

Aku-chan: No it's not, this fic isn't finished.

Kie-san: Oh… right… (-kenshin grin-)

Burnt Up Old Sausage:

Aku-chan: That's a great name!

Kie-san: You read our other fic! For which we had no reviews! (Except for one, which was a flamer from a guy that hadn't even read the story because he just wanted to yell at Aku-chan for flaming him.). AND YOU LIKED IT! You, my friend, are a nine on the Super Special Insanity Scale For Wierdos! Congratulations!

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Kie-san: That was a short chapter, but this is a humor fic so I think we can get away with it.

Aku-chan: Feh, whatever.

Kie-san: BTW, I would have Kaoru cussing Kenshin out, but this fic is rated 'PG', soooo... (-Bleep-) it is!

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REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW…

Aku-chan: SHUT UP, KIE-SAN!

Kie-san: Heh…