Disclaimer: Sailormoon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi.


Chapter 2: Just a headache

It hadn't really been a surprise. Were she not to ask for it her parents would have suggested it anyway. So there she was, standing in front of her classmates-to-be. Everyone was staring as usual. She started to blush. Being the center of attention always made her feel uncomfortable. Still, she wasn't feeling half as flustered as the person standing at the back of the room. Kanashii had walked into class just in time to see a blonde being scolded and from the looks of it, it was a usual occurrence. She couldn't help but notice the girl's hairstyle.

'Odangos? That's weird even by my standards!'

The teacher's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. It was time for the obligatory first-time-in-class self-introduction. And she had a terrible headache.

"My name is Sumairu Kanashii."

She could hear the others whispering.

'Probably about the clothes…'

"No, I wasn't given a funny uniform. I'm a girl and I hate skirts." She eyed them challengingly.

"Yes, yes, now take a seat next to Tsukino-san over there and let us hope her laziness isn't contagious…"

The aforementioned standing girl blushed ten shades of red as the class roared with laughter. Kanashii merely gritted her teeth and went to the appointed seat. She definitely didn't like the teacher.

OOO

Thankfully lessons ended in a relatively painless manner. Not that she had been paying much attention. She had spent most time absentmindedly sketching in her notebook. Now, if it hadn't been for that blasted headache…

'How long can it possibly take for a stupid headache to wear off?' she thought to herself as she was walking through the school yard. 'It's been nagging me for hours! And all those kids staring… It's irritating. Haven't they seen a girl in pants before? Arg, my head is killing me. What I need now is some peace and q-oof!'

Something crashed into her back and she found herself on the ground, a dead weight on top of her.

"Gomen…" said a muffled voice.

Kanashii growled.

"Get OFF!"

The stranger hastened to comply. She stood and found herself looking down at a peculiar hairstyle and a pair of big blue eyes. It was the blonde from that morning. She frowned in concentration. What was her name again? Tsuki-something… Meanwhile the girl was busy bowing and excusing herself.

"Gomen, I wasn't paying attention and I… tripped."

She tried to interrupt her in vain.

"Gomen…"

'How many times is she going to say it? I already have a headache!'

"Gomen…"

It was starting to get on her nerves.

"Gomen…"

Kanashii closed her eyes.

"If you don't shut up I'm going to hurt you. Badly."

The girl abruptly stopped in the middle of another 'Gomen' and shot her a fearful glance. She suddenly felt guilty.

"I forgive you by the way." She continued in a softer tone.

"Huh?"

"I said I forgive you for tripping over me."

She smiled at the confused blonde, hoping she was being sweet enough.

"Gomen, I get grumpy when I have a headache…"

The girl continued to stare at her in confusion for a moment, then she smiled back.

"I'm Tsukino Usagi." She said.

"Sumairu Kanashii, pleased to meet you."

OOO

"…and then I crashed into her as I was running home…" said Usagi.

"Figures. You can't avoid a klutz attack to save your life." commented Rei.

The others ignored her.

"What is she like Usagi-chan?"

"Strange! At first she growled at me and I was certain she was going to kill me or something, I actually got scared… but then she seemed to be in pain for a moment and she suddenly became friendly. She even apologized for scaring me. Said that headaches make her nasty. And then we talked. Sort of… I don't think she really likes talking. I had to pry most answers out of her. She wouldn't say a word about her old school though."

"Maybe she didn't like it there." Offered Minako. "Except from the boys' uniform I don't see what's so weird about her. She was just bad-tempered."

Ami closed her book. They had gathered at the Hikawa Shrine for their regular study session but Usagi was too excited to let anyone concentrate.

"I don't understand something. You spent an extra hour at school because of detention. Why didn't she go home?" she asked.

"The English teacher didn't approve of her clothes and wanted to lecture her. Turns out she has the principal's permission!"

Makoto whistled.

"Okay, that is weird…" admitted the blonde.

"How on earth did she get permission for that?" demanded the miko.

"I don't know! I asked her but she only said she had um... 'presented irrefutable arguments'. That's how she said it. Then I asked her what 'irrefutable' means and she burst out laughing. What was so funny?"

"Usagi-chan…" sighed Ami.

"What?"

OOO

That night Kanashii sat in front of her computer and opened the word processor.

'Dear Kumi-chan,

'Odango blonde' run into me on my way out of school. My initial reactions were hostile and I scared her. I felt so badly… Of all people I should be the last to ever intimidate someone. I wanted to make amends for it and somehow found myself walking her home. We talked a bit on the way. She asked a lot of questions. Too many questions in fact. Spanish Inquisition anyone?

I tried to be patient and answered all I could but some things I refused to discuss.

I didn't tell her why I changed school. I had just threatened to hurt her if she wouldn't stop the 'Gomen' overload, imagine me saying: "Oh, I was bullied back there until one day I snapped and beat the crap out of the bullies. They ended up in hospital and I got expelled for three days instead of permanently due to previous exemplary behavior but I had had enough of that place so I came here." That would have been soooo tactful!

And I wasn't going to tell her why I wear the boys' uniform. It's private, end of story. What part of my introductory 'I hate skirts' didn't she get? People are usually content with the skirt-hating excuse. I've never told anyone that I have more reasons than that… (And even if I wanted to tell her, we've only just met. Who's to say we'll get along? It's not like she'll want to be my friend or something! Noone ever wants to and it's better this way.

I guess I'd rather be alone with nothing broken nothing thrown… That's what I tell myself anyway.)

I've been wearing boys' clothes ever since the accident. I would have worn them before too if I could have gotten away with it. I'm a tomboy after all. It's nice to be able to wear what I like, but now I can't put on anything short or even barely revealing unless I want the scars to show. When they show people stare. And I have no patience for people staring at my scars. I have no patience for empty condolences and cruel taunts.

I don't mind the disfigured body. I can even smile about it. It's kind of fitting. A disfigured body to house a twisted spirit. That's what I was considered at the orphanage. Twisted. How fortunate that they wanted to get rid of me. If they hadn't I wouldn't have had a family.

At times I almost pity my parents. They have no idea what kind of person their 'beloved' daughter is. If they did they probably wouldn't have adopted me. I remember the first time I voiced something abnormal in front of them. It was a couple of months after my adoption. I was twelve. I don't recall what I had asked them but they looked at me with such worry… Later that day I overheard them talking about whether it would be a good idea to consult a psychologist. First time I voiced something abnormal in their presence. And last. The next day I pretended to have heard about it on TV. How relieved they were! Now they don't really know anything about me except that I'm shy, my grades are good, I like this or that food and in my spare time I mostly read books or ruin my eyes in front of the computer. It's okay I guess. Everyone has their limitations. At least they try to be open-minded. They try to be good parents. And they love me. What they see of me anyway. How can they love me? When they don't even know me? No, they don't love me. They love the girl I pretend to be for all our shakes. For the family to function. But then again maybe they do know me and they merely choose to let me go on with the facade because it gives me an illusion of safety… Because if they don't know me there's no way for them to decide they can't accept my true self and send me back… Or maybe that's just me secretly wishing that they knew because if they did, I wouldn't be so alone.

Hey, ain't I a great writer? I start writing about a girl and end up pondering on my life of pretense. Talk about digression…

Where was I? Oh yes, the girl. Tsukino Usagi. She made quite an impression. Probably because it's been a long time since someone of my age was actually friendly to me. Even so there's something about her… Those eyes… so clear… so innocent… Why the heck did that Haruna person treat her so badly! I'd gladly punch her face in. Hang on, why would I care? And why the heck am I being so aggressive lately?

Guess what, I still have a headache. No, I won't take a painkiller you stupid head! I don't believe in artificial pain suppression! Ladies and gents, I'm officially a wacko: I'm arguing with my skull…'

Someone knocked lightly on her door.

"Kanashii-chan? Your father and I have to go somewhere. We'll be back very late. Don't stay all night in front of the computer okay?"

"Right…"

She kept writing.

'Kaa-san just passed by to pursuit a hopeless ambition of hers: discouraging me from wasting time on the PC. As if she'll ever make it… But then again one can always hope they say.

And now I can't think of what else to write. That I got totally bored at school? It's old news. Maybe I should just get online…'

Kanashii saved the file and leaned back. She rubbed her eyes.

'I don't feel like it.' She thought. 'I don't feel like doing anything. I… just want to… sleep…'

The girl dozed off in her chair. Images flooded her mind. Someone with their back turned to her pounding a punching bag

'I'll become stronger than all of themNoone will ever beat meNoone'


Author's Notes: So what do you think people? Please review!