Sanzo was sitting in the hotel room with a blistering headache and a very bad temper. The idiot kappa and the monkey had been gone for almost 6 hours, so it was way past dinnertime and Sanzo didn't fancy his chances with the stove, which had burnt him the last time he had tried to turn it on. He lit up yet another cigarette and flipped through the paper for what seemed like the thousandth time in the hope of finding something to read.

"Damned losers…" He muttered to no one in particular.

Sanzo's stomach growled loudly and he decided to give in to it and attempt to cook something. He heaved himself out of the chair and over to the adjoining kitchen and opened the fridge precociously. Everything was neatly stacked and colour coded. Sanzo sighed and tried to sort through the packets and tins in the hope of finding something easy to make, but gave up and pulled out a packet of rice.

"How hard can it be?" He asked the smiling logo on the front of the packet as he turned it over to read the instructions.

Somehow, the kitchen had been cleared up since Goku had ruined it previously and Sanzo had no idea of the mess that had been there and would be blissfully unaware until maybe when Gojyo showed him the Polaroids.

Sanzo rooted round in the draws, looking for something to cook the rice in. the back of the packet said 'a medium sized pan', but the kitchen didn't seem to have one, so Sanzo picked up something else instead.

"This should do." He grunted, placing a glass bowl on the top of the stove.

After estimating the amount of water and rice needed (too much rice, too little water); Sanzo shoved it all in the bowl on top of the stove.

"Hmmm…" He looked at the packet "Bring water to the boil, remove from heat, then add rice and return to stove and simmer." Then at the bowl which was balanced precociously on top of the gas stove. "Eh…it'll work ok." He then turned on the stove to the highest temperature and sat back to watch his 'dinner' cook.

"Hakkaiiiiiiii." Complained Goku who was lying on the floor with an abundance of dirt and grime on him, which had been transferred from the floor to his clothes. "Can we stop now?"

"Yeah…please?" Gojyo, who was equally exhausted and covered in muck, agreed

"Oh I suppose so." Said Hakkai cheerfully, folding up the magazine that he had been reading, "Everything seems to be clean."

"Thank God." Gojyo muttered as he ripped the apron off of his neck, screwing it up into a ball, and throwing it into the bin as quick as possible.

"Hakkai, what time issit?" Asked Goku as he slowly got up off the floor

"Erm…" Hakkai hesitated as he looked at his watch, "My goodness! We should've been back hours ago, Sanzo will be mad won't he?"

"No kiddin'" Gojyo muttered, "C'mon, let's get back before the almighty priest really starts missing us..."

"Sanzo! We're baaaaaac-" Goku announced, but stopped abruptly as they ventured through the door much much later

There was a distinctly smoky aura in the air and a strong stench of burning filled their nostrils.

"Uh oh…" Hakkai said

"What is it? Is the hotel on fire?" Asked Gojyo who was still out in the hallway

"No, it's much worse I'm afraid."

"What?"

"I believe that Sanzo has attempted to cook something."

"Great…" Gojyo added a small laugh as they all walked towards the kitchen

"Is Sanzo ok?" Goku asked, worried for the priest

"Who don't you ask him?" Hakkai said with a smile

"Saaaaanzo! Are you all right?" Goku shouted whilst wafting smoke away from his face

They walked into the actual kitchen whilst Goku was speaking and were greeted by a glass bowl on the stove shattering into millions of pieces and a very angry looking Sanzo attempting to put the fire on his robes out.

Obviously, their reactions were all different:

Sanzo snarled,

Hakkai rushed to help clear up the shattered remnants of the bowl,

Gojyo sniggered and went to get his camera

And Goku leapt at Sanzo and started frantically hitting his robes in an attempt to put the fire out, which only earned him a whack on the head from the fan and a shout of

"BAKASARU!".

Several minutes later, relative calm was restored once Hakkai turned the stove off, swept up the glass and made Sanzo drop and roll on the floor until the fire had gone out. Well, when I say relative calm, I mean relative calm for them.

Sanzo, of course, resembled a burnt tomato once he got up, as he was sporting large blackened patches from the fire and his face went red with anger when he saw Gojyo taping the whole thing. A frantic chase to grab the camera and destroy it then took place and carried on for a good ten minutes until Gojyo tripped over the coffee table once Goku took over chasing him as Sanzo said that he was too holy to be chasing crass individuals like Gojyo.

"Nooo, don't destroy my camera!" Gojyo pleaded as Sanzo held it over the toilet bowl and Goku held him down, "It was a present."

"From who?" Sanzo asked, lowering the camera slowly closer to its watery doom

"A beautiful woman."

"If you call the old man who runs the camera shop a beautiful woman and the shop's ridiculously high prices a present then yes, your statement is true." Hakkai added, as he poked his head around the door with a smile.

"Hakkaiiiii! Don't let them destroy it. You know how many poker games I had to win to buy that camera."

"I remain neutral on this issue, but I came to tell you all that dinner is ready."

"Food!" Goku shouted and bounded off, the camera's funeral temporarily forgotten.

Sanzo placed it on the side and grunted that they would resume this after dinner. Gojyo grinned at Hakkai who smiled back; Hakkai always had a knack for distracting people.

Then, once seated at the table, surrounded by food, the Sanzo-ikkou finally had some time to reflect on what had happened over the past few days…or then again, maybe not.

"Gimme back that chicken leg!"

"No, it's mine!"

"Oh dear…"

"Shut up, or die!"

A resounding bang on the door then halted the argument and all heads turned in the direction of the offending noise…