A/N: Hey, there! So glad to be back! here it is, the sequel to State of Mind. This picks up right where that left off so you should definately read that first. I started to write this as just a 2 part series and it's develpoed into a 3 part! So, look out for that too. When it's more develpoed, I'll let you know. Ass you know, I don't own anyone. I wish I did, but I don't. Also, all of the opening quotes are Peace of Mind by Nonpoint.

Chapter 20: Farewell to a Friend

"You shouldve been satisfied
You should have been full inside
You could have been happy
Simply with your peace of mind"

Carter soon found Susan crying in the Lounge. They began to talk about Mark and Susan asks if she could just pretend he moved to the South Pacific and lived happily ever after. She proceeded to bring up Melissa, telling Carter about how they found the little girl's tumor by happenstance-simply because the car she was in was hit by a cement truck.

"But...Mark walked the halls of a hospital every day and didn't know about his tumor until he presented with symptoms." Carter didn't have a real answer.

"We save who we can, right?" He replied simply but sadly.

"It has to make more sense than that." Susan insisted. "I miss him already." She added, then telling Carter her regrets. "I thought he'd always, always be here."

"It's good to miss him." Carter reassured her. "It's missing him that keeps him here." Susan started to cry and, like Lucy, she and Carter hugged, comforting each other.


After declining Susan's invitation to go out for drinks, Kerry has met up with Sandy at the El. Sandy was trying to persuade Kerry to go to the Lava Lounge, insisting she should be with her staff.

"They're your friends." Sandy told her.

"They're people I work with." Kerry replied with a heavy sighs. But Sandy persisted.

"When one of our guys go down, we get together and get drunk. It's more for the unit than for the guy who's gone." Kerry still resisted, but she told Sandy about how she always tried to maneuver Mark, gain some kind of edge, like it had to be some kind of competition.

"I never imagined I'd feel like this." She admitted, her voice filled with regret.

"You've lost a friend." Sandy said quietly.

"I think I have." Kerry admitted again.


At the Lava Lounge, Abby helped Susan carry the drinks from the bar to the table where Gallant, Luka, Lucy and Haleh were sitting. Gallant asked if they should have a toast, and everyone looks expectantly at Susan.

"I'm not very good under pressure-someone else go first." Luka sighed, raised his beer up and toasted to Mark in Croatian. "What the hell, I'll drink to that." Susan exclaimed and they all clinked glasses and drank.

"I'll never forget him. Not a chance." Lucy said shaking her head slightly while sitting between Luka and Haleh. "I actually hoped he was my Resident when I first came to County. He was just so..." She couldn't find the word to describe him and found herself smiling as she thought of him.

"Welcoming?" Susan offered thinking about all the times her and Mark had together.

"Yeah. And brilliant, and caring and funny." She could continued to name all the things Mark was but what was the point? She raised her glass and decided that she would toat next, telling them the only thing that came to mind. "He told me something. The day I came back from my graduation, he told me that..."You have to take chances...or you'll never see where life is leading you."" Evryone smiled and they clinked glasses yet again and drank.

"That's Mark, all right." Halen said patting Lucy's shoulder with a smile. Lucy couldn't help but think that she was there almost three weeks ago with Mark. Sitting, talking and generally having a good time. As they continued to talk, Luka looked up and noticed Kerry and Sandy at the door. They don't want me here. Why am I here? Susan looked behind her and immediately called both of them over to join them.

Chapter 21: Reflecting on Life

Preview: Carter and Abby have a "conversation."