Disclaimer: The characters of this story belong to Tamora
His Lioness
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart, it's the end of the world in my mind. Then your voice pulls me back like a wake-up call, I've been looking for the the answer. Somewhere, I couldn't see that it was right there, but now I know what I needed to know, because you live and breath, because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help.
Because You Live, Jesse Mccartney
Alanna and Jon made their way through the gardens embracing the small amount of time alone. It was a beautiful night, one meant for lovers, as the candles threw soft light into the shadows. For a reason she refused to admit to, Alanna was filled with longing, not for her husband, George, but for the king of Tortall. Of course, Alanna brushed it aside, trying to forget his silky black hair and deep sapphire eyes.
"I can't believe you got me to attend, that was the most tedious meeting I've ever been in! Jon, you know I hate these kinds of meetings. Besides you know the ambassador of Tusaine hates me. He spent half of the night glaring at me. He even thinks your weak for ever appointing me as Kings Champion...so was it really necessary to force me to go to that? You could've signed the documents without me." Alanna mock glared at him, looking into his sparkling sapphire eyes. Her stomach dropped, as he gave her a teasing smile. After so many years, these feelings still surfaced, and no matter how hard she tried, she could still see those eyes in her mind as sleep enveloped her, and when dawn came.
Laughing, Jon gave her a light shove to keep her walking."Come Alanna, you and Raoul are the most unsociable people in all of Tortall. It was necessary for you to be there because, no matter what you may think, you have a duty as King's Champion to follow instructions of your king. It wouldn't have hurt either, for you to have not glared back though, I was afraid that he'd leave then and there as soon as you did that. It seems all foreign diplomats are afraid of my lioness," he said lightly, glancing over at her. Alanna stopped, staring up at him, her violet orbs displaying emotions he couldn't identify.
Of course he'd just been joking, hadn't he? She wasn't his lioness anymore, she was George's. Yet he reached out his hand, playing with an unruly curl that hid among the red masses reaching just past her neck
His heart fluttered as she watched him, not pushing him away as she should have. It was if time has stopped for them, acknowledging only their presence.
"Do you think we could've made it work Alanna?" His words came out as a whisper, afraid that she wasn't feeling the same thing as him, afraid of rejection.
She reached up, and he thought that she would push him away, but instead, she clasped his hand, holding it for only a moment. He saw then, that she was afraid, afraid of accepting these feelings.
"I don't know Jon, I really don't. I love George, and I know that you love Thayet, but I wonder sometimes, what might have happened. I told you once that I was scared, scared of letting myself care about you. I'm scared now, because I know this is wrong, yet no matter how hard I try, I can't get you out of my mind. I'm scared Jon."
Memories flooded back to him, of her birthday when she was seventeen. She'd told him the same thing, that she was scared, scared of the feelings she'd had, scared of the pleasure that only he could give her.
Love. After all these years the fire that they felt for one another still burnt. He'd tried his best to ignore it, he really did, but every time he rode off into a battle, his thoughts rested on her, when they should have been on Thayet, because Alanna was always first in his mind. She was the first one that had ever caused him to have real feelings of pleasure, and she was the first person to bring him such pain all he wanted to do was curl up and die.
"At least we can be scared together," he repeated the words that he'd said so long ago. So much had happened since then, and they both lived separate lives, away from each other, and he rarely ever saw her anymore.
"Do you regret marrying George?" The words escaped his mouth before he could stop them.
She seemed to snap out of her reverie, deliberating his question. Alanna had never been good at putting her emotions into words, and taking a guess, he imagined that she'd rather be anywhere than here right now. Maybe he'd pushed it to far by asking her that.
"No Jon, I don't regret marrying George. I received the life I wanted to live, there are no limits on what I can do. If I were queen, Tortall would be a mess. You saw how the ambassador looked at me, do you honestly think that he would respect you if you had married me? You know as well as I, it wouldn't have worked."
There eyes locked together and he hesitantly brought his lips onto hers, probing his tongue into her mouth. Only one thought came to him, he was defying Thayet in every way possible by doing this, but still he did not draw back.
Pushing him back roughly, Alanna glanced at the ground, daring not to look up at him. Her cheeks were flaming red, and she knew that if she looked into those beautiful eyes again, nothing would stop them from doing something they'd both regret.
"We can't, we can't do this, not now, not ever, you know this Jon. We have obligations. We can't forget them, Thayet and George. We gave them our vows, and we can't. Please say we can't." Her voice trembled as she said this, and it was almost as if she were trying to convince not only him, but herself.
"Okay Alanna, we can't, we can't we can't! How does this solve anything, saying we can't? I know that you feel the same way as I, but for once, for one night only, can we forget about our duties that we are bound to? For one night, can we forget who we are?" He looked down at her, at her eyes that shined with fear, but also with longing. She needed him as much as he needed her.
"I trust you Jon, because no matter what happens tonight or any night for that matter, you mean more to me than anything or anyone else. I love you. After tonight, I'll go back to my life and you to yours, but we'll always have tonight."
"You'll always be my lioness Alanna."
A/N: I'll see if anyone likes this story and go from there...but at this point it's a one shot, so please say otherwise if you want it to go on.
Just some drabble I felt like writing. Inspired by Because You Live by Jesse Mccartney. It hit me as I was reading a magazine that this sort of relates to Alanna and Jonathan. So please, read and review. Oh yeah, just in case you were wondering, this takes place in the palace gardens, I thought it was appropriate because this is where Alanna and Jon first acknowledged their feelings towards one another, although I didn't describe it.
