A/N: Hey, there! So glad to be back! here it is, the sequel to State of Mind. This picks up right where that left off so you should definately read that first. I started to write this as just a 2 part series and it's develpoed into a 3 part! So, look out for that too. When it's more develpoed, I'll let you know. Ass you know, I don't own anyone. I wish I did, but I don't. Also, all of the opening quotes are Peace of Mind by Nonpoint. Thanx for all the reviews!

psych21: The whole point was to not expect it. Glad I shocked you! Mission accomplished! XD

Cartergal131: The friendships I'm creating and intertwinging within the story are just how I think Lucy would act with certain people. She was alwayskind and courteous, which really hasn't changed, but she's edgier now.Because of that, she's abit harder to write as to who she'll befriend. I don't think you'll like my "operation," if you can call it that but you can decide for yourself.

Chapter 24: Assumed for Dead

"You shouldve been satisfied
You should have been full inside
You could have been happy
Simply with your peace of mind"

"Has anyone seen Lucy?" Deb asked coming into Admit again for about the millionth time that day. "She's got patients rioting for attention." She finished with the chart in hand and picked up another one, weaving around Frank, Jerry, Haleh, Kerry and even Pratt.

"No, sorry." Haleh said grabbing a chart and walking off to follow Kerry.

"She went on break nearly an hour ago." Deb said a bit annoyed. "Where the hell could she be?"

"I need a gurney!" Abby shouted from the open bathroom door. Everyone looked at her a bit confused. "I need a gurney in here! Now!" She shouted again, aggitated at their hesitance. Pratt quickly put down his chart and ran over into the girl's bathroom. Everyone heard him curse as he shouted for a gurney and to page Carter and Luka. Jerry got on the phone immediately and did as he was told as Lilly ran in with Malik to help Pratt and Abby, Deb close behind.

"Oh, my god!" Deb gasped as they moved Lucy onto the gurney. Her face was pail, ghost white, as were her lips and fingernails. "Let's move, people!" She ordered as they rushed past Admit, everyone in that area stopping dead at the sight of Lucy.

"Jerry, you page Kovac and Carter yet?" He suggested more than asked annoyed at him. Jerry stumbled picking up the phone and dialed. As he did that, Pratt and Chen rushed to save Lucy's life, yelling at anybody that got in their way. He didn't know her that well, but she did and that was all that mattered. Pretty soon, coworkers started to gather around the Trauma room. "What are youpeople doing? Get back to work!" he shouted and no one listened. Groaning in frustration at how ignored his orders were, he went straight to work with Deb.

"Move on my count!" She stated, panic clear in her voice. "One, two, three! Move!" The small group placed Lucy on the table and got rid of the gurney as quick as possible. "Get her clothes off." Abby and Malik listened, hesitantly, cutting away at her jeans and shirt and replaced them with a gown.

"What's going on?" Luka asked as he came in, Carter behind him. Deb was soon called out to help Susan with another Trauma and left, ordering that she recieve updates on Lucy every half hour.

"Oh, my God!" Carter gasped as he quickly walked to her side, soon clasping her hand. "What happened?" he asked looking up at Pratt, but he had no answer. "What happened!" He shouted when Pratt said nothing.

"Carter, go wait outside." Luka said firmly causing Carter to protest, but Luka had Malik drag him out. Carter didn't want to be out there, he wasnted to be inside, helping them save Lucy. From what he still didn't know, but did it really matter? Not to him, but Luka locked him out, confining him to watch in awe with the masses. "Call Respiratory!" He ordered an Malik got on the phone. "What happened?" He posed now to Pratt who shook his head.

"Don't know. Abby found her sprawled out him the bathroom. No breath sounds. Gonna have to Intubate." He added before grabbing a tube and opened Lucy's mouth. "Got it." He announced before joining Luka in his quandery.

"Abby, do you know anything? What happened?" He asked as they started chest compression.

"Deb said she went on break an hour ago and I was going in to the bathroom, found her in a stall unconscious." She stated simply as she started an IV. "She'd been throwing up and may have hit her head."

"Whoa!" Malik said from a table. "I think I know what happened." He said, turning to face them while holding up an empty bottle. "It was in her coat."

"No way." Abby said looking at the three men. "No way! Lucy wouldn't do that!" She insisted.

"Whether or not she would, looks like she did." Pratt stated sourly. "What she take?" He posed to Malik, who was already reading the bottle with a confused expression.

"Opioids." He informed, puzzled, as he put the bottle down and walked over to them. All of them were scared though none would say anything. They didn't want to face the reality that Lucy overdosed on purpose.

"Get a Drug screen." Luka ordered. "Let's see if she took anything else." He said quietly as Abby attached a bag to Lucy's tube and began supplying Oxygen. "Two milograms of Narcane and call Neuro."

"Anybody gonna call her family?" Pratt asked as he began to inject Lucy with the 2 Mils of Narcane. Abby stated that the only family she knew of was her mother living in Boston. This bad news made Pratt just groan with even more frustration.

"Call her and tell her what happened as soon as we get her stable.

"Anyone know why she did it?" Lilly asked, a bit afraid of what the real answer was.

"We don't ask that about any other OD that comes in, do we?" Luka said impatiently. "We won't do it to her. Get a Blood Gas and Electroids."

"BPs 80/60, Pulse is thready." Lily responded solemnly from a monitor, almost apologzing for asking in her voice.

"She couldn't had anything to drink except water so it looks like it's just the pills." Luka sighed lookign down at her, she looked dead.

"Meaning no alcohol to set off the drug. That's the best news I've heard all day." Pratt joked but with conviction in his voice. "Get an Arterial Stick. How's that Babinski coming along?"

"It's done." Lily stated solemnly. "It's positive." Everyone looked at her, shocked. "Um, 15 Liters running." She said moving on and bringing them back to reality.

"Sure that's not a mistake?" Abby asked looking at her whilel still supplying Lucy with Oxygen.

"Serum Barb was 45. I did it twice, no mistake." She replied shortly at how Abby, a former doctor and nurse, could doubt her skills. She'd done that test how many times in how many years? Luka looked up while checking her eyes and saw Carter staring at her. He was alone, the crowd had finally cleared up a bit. He looked so sad and crest fallen as he stared at her, almost like he was staring into space. The thoughts that was racing through his mind Luka could only gues, but he knew the one that had to keep popping up was "Why?" The only reason he knew that was because he was asking himself the same thing.

"Put up a curtain." He ordered and Lily and Malik went to it, permantly blocking Carter out.


It had taken them an hour to get Lucy stable, but they all wondered if they'd done the right thing. Lucy swallowed the pills on purpose, of her own free will. What if they did the wrong thing by bothering to save her? Thoughts like that had been in their heads since they started working on her. Luka and Pratt left to see other patients, Deb as well who still recieved updates on Lucy's condition. Carter, after being blocked out, called Lucy's mother and told her that Lucy had been in an accident and that she was going to be fine. He hated lying to Barbara, but he couldn't tell her that her only daughter tried to commit suicide, a belief which was yet to be proven. Only Lucy could do that and she'd been comatose since they started.

"How is she?" Kerry asked behind Carter. He was off and sitting with Lucy in her room, refusing to leave.

"Luka just left. Ask him." He replied coldly with a sigh as he listened to the Ventilater beep.

"I'm asking you, John." She said with actual sincerity in her voice. Carter looked at her and saw she was really concerned. Rubbing his eyes with one hand he sighed heavily.

"It doesn't look good. Her eyes are mid-range and sluggish, Barbtuate level is still at 45, a Urine test has been ordered, BPs 90/65 and Pulse is normal." He stated, his grief dripping off of him like flesh from rotting flesh, eyes never leaving her. "She's been in Dialysis for 3 hours, Kerry. She's Comatose and unresponsive, how do you think she is?"

"She'll wake up, John." She reassured him. "She's done it before and she'll do it again."

"I know." He said confidently, looking up at her, tear drops hanging from his eyes. "I also know that you don't give a damn, Kerry. All you care about that Lucy's condition is bad publicity and that it's bad for the hospital." He accused her and continued before she could even deny his claim. "Get out, Kerry! Get out now! Now!" He yelled, standing up, starling Kerry. She nodded slowly and left as quietly as she could, leaving Carter to sit down and grieve his girlfriend in the dark.


Lucy had woken up about two days later to find flowers around her and Carter asleep in the corner. She didn't understand what had happened until Carter explained it all, after attacking her with hugs and kisses. She was so scared that he knew, even more so by how she was alive. That wasn't the plan she had in mind.

"Lucy, we need to talk." Carter's hopes fell as he saw Lucy's back visibly stiffen, a clear indicater that this wasn't going to be easy. "Why, Luce?" He asked after he sat back down in his chair. There it was, the look. The look that mixed anger, confusion and a time bomb perfectly.

"About what?" She said bluntly with a bit of sarcasim. She knew full well what he wanted to talk about. The ice in her words burnt Carter to the bone.

"Why'd you do it?" She put her hands together and looked down at her palms, while he leaned forward in his chair.

"I don't know." She lied, looking out the window and he got up to sit next to her on her bed.

"Don't lie. Not to me." He said forcefully, making her look back at him. "Kerry told me that you were on some pain killers." She opened her mouth to say "So," but he jumped in before she could counter him. "Malik found an empty bottle in your jacket. You're taking Opioids." She sighed and looked at her palms agian. "I know that they're used and prescribed to treat patients with pain after surgery, I know you know this too, but you haven't had a surgery for two years." He insisted, putting his hand to her chin and making her look at him. "I think you may have another addiciton."

"I can't believe you." She sighed. "After all this time. You wouldn't help me with my Ritalin addiction, so... what?What is this? Guilt? Redemption? Now you're try to help me?" She asked aggrivated, pushing his hand away and him off the bed.

"You're admitting that you're addicted to Opioids?" He asked confused. If anything, he thought he'd have to fight her to admit it.

"Yes, Carter, I am." Her eyes were already starting to well up as she began her tale, a fact which shocked him still. "Dr. Peters, my Physical Therapist in Boston, he gave them to me to help ease the pain in my legs. When I came back, hte pain was still there so I kept using them."

"You had to run out though. How'd you keep getting them?" He asked leaning agianst the wall, both avoiding the others eyes.

"Whenever I ran out, I'd call him and he'd send some." She confessed. "I don't take the pills when I just have pain. I take them when I'm nervous or anxious, too. I-I don't know what to do, Carter, I don't know. I'm just..." She looked up at him and wiped her eyes quickly. "...So confused and I hurt everywhere. I've-I've been trying to quit them but...but as soon as the Withdrawal starts, I can't help but take one to stop the pain. Th-That's when I started smoking."

"You thought it would phase out the cravings for the pills." He stated and she nodded. "But it didn't."

"No. It made it worse." Tears were strolling down her cheeks now. Carter wasn't sure if it was the addiction driving her mad or the real Lucy confessing. "It hurts so much, Carter. I-I feel...I-I f-feel like I've got millions of tiny bugs crawling all over me and biting me. I feel cold one minute and hot the next. I sweat for no reason at all and my skull feels three sizes too small. I even feel like I'm gonna explode sometimes. I...I need help, Carter. I need help."

"I know. I know. It's okay." He said walking over to her and hugged her tightly. Rubbing her back, he felt just how cold she was. He leaned down and kissed her, gently running his thumbs across her cheeks. "Kerry had to suspend you, you know?" She nodded, knowing the severity of her situation. "Eight weeks without pay. When you come back you're banned from the Drug Lockup, you have to take Urine tests once a week and go to AA meetings."

"Now I know what you have to deal with." She said half laughing as he wiped her eyes.

After Luka and Pratt discharged Lucy, she went home and stayed there for eight weeks. Carter came by after his shifts to check on her and even cleaned out her bathroom medicine cabinet. After the eight weeks had passed, surprisingly fast since Dave had taken off to watch her when Carter couldn't, she returned and signed a contract for Kerry and Romano agreeing to do everything Carter told her she'd have to. She'd return to work the following week and the contract would come into play then. Lucy even went to the AA meetings with Carter, who jokingly called it their second first date.

Chapter 25: Yesterday

Preview: Final chapter: Lucy faces what Carter had to 2 years earlier.