CHAPTER ONE

Mac Robinson picked up his files and strolled into Harry's office. Harry hadn't looked up yet, he just continued signing papers with his left hand. Mac passed another file in as Harry barely seemed to notice the extra files he was signing.

"I bet you'll be glad that Dan and Kelly are back." he grinned ear to ear.

"Yeah," Harry smiled. "Their replacements were good enough, but it will feel good to get back into the flow of things. I wonder why they took vacations at the same time."

"Harry," Mac looked at him as Roz strolled into the office. "They're married. They took a honeymoon." Harry just looked at him a bit odd.

"Yeah, it sure is." Harry grinned a bit distracted. "Weatherman said rain all night."

"Harry," Mac looked at him. "Kelly married Dan."

"You're right," Harry looked at his watch. "Bull should be coming to start court any minute." Mac made a face as he turned to Roz.

"I think skinny's lost it." Mac told Roz.

"I talked to Christine." Roz looked up. "She said Harry's completely blocked the marriage from his mind. He won't recognize any part of it."

"You're kidding?" Mac turned to Harry and grinned. "Sir, how do you like Dan as Kelly's husband?" He seemed to be fishing for a reaction.

"Well," Harry looked at him. "He does a good job, and we've gotten used to his behavior. How do you like him as an assistant district attorney?"

"Oh, this is going to be fun..." Mac nearly started laughing as a familiar face poked into the room. Kelly Anderson-Fielding grinned and hugged Harry and then Roz. Dan shook Mac's hand and then Harry's. The emotions were high and cheery while Kelly loved to be married to her dream man. Dan looked to Harry rather oddly.

"So...sir," He nervously looked the skinny judge over. "No..." He gulped his breath nervously. "Hard feelings?"

"Over what?" Harry looked at him. "So, where did you guys take your vacations?"

"Maui!" Kelly did a little hula after being so glad to be back at work. "Sun, clean air, beaches..."

"It was great!" Dan added.

"You went to Maui, too?" Harry reacted confusingly folding his arms. "Did you two hang out?"

Roz whispered in Kelly's ear as Mac whispered in Dan's ear. The returning honeymooners realized the truth and responded with confirmed realization. Kelly looked at Harry with concern.

"Harry," She started talking slowly. "I - am - married - to - Dan..."

"I'm glad you had a good time too." Harry acted completely out of it as he grinned like half of a maniac. "But we got to get back to work."

"Kelly, dear, honey..." Dan pulled her back. "Let's not go jumping on the minefield. Let's let sleeping tigers lie."

"But I want him happy for me."

"Ain't going to happen." Roz responded.

CHAPTER TWO

STARRING: Christina Ricci as Tricia Stiles, Dean Cain as James Coleman and Reese Witherspoon as Joanie Yours

"Look," Harry stared down to the defendant standing before him between Dan and Kelly. "I know it's sometimes impossible to catch a bus in Manhattan, but you can't lead the passengers in a revolt, take over the bus and toss out the driver. That'll be a two hundred dollar fine and a hundred hours community service and I think the bus company would like their bus back too!" Harry pounded his gavel.

"What's next, Mac?" He looked over.

"Lily Finnerty and Brittany Fogg, prostitution." Mac looked over while two young girls emerged escorted by Roz. Both couldn't have been much older than thirteen. The curlier hair blonde was obviously calm as the wild-eyed redhead looked scared to death as she peeked over the edge of Harry's bench.

"Look, your honor," Lily Finnerty was scared to death. "We're not really hookers. We were just trying to borrow some money..."

"By doing anything we can..." Brittany added.

"Shut up!" Lily screamed as her best friend compounded the situation.

"Sir," Dan held their file. "The two mouseketeers here... they were both pan-handling near Grand Central Station, but then one of the cops moved in when one of them started propositioning a couple of college boys for sex."

"That was me." Brittany beamed a bit proud of it as Lily rolled her eyes.

"Where are your parents?" Harry asked.

"Parents?" Lily nervously looked to Brittany. "Uh, we're, uh, half-sisters, and they're both in..."

"California." Brittany added to the lie.

"Sir," Kelly felt compassion for them as she had once been a young girl and realizing how scared they were to see their parents. "Human services have already been in touch with Miss Finnerty's parents. They're on the way into the city to get her."

"My parents." Lily gulped in shock as she looked at her. "Are coming here? I'm so dead..."

"Lily Marie Finnerty!" Sean Finnerty marched into the courtroom with his brother Eddie behind him.

"Quick!" Lily jumped on Harry's bench and grabbed his robe. "Please put me in the Witness Protection Program!"

"I knew letting you spend the night with Brittany was no good!" Sean roared as any other upset parent. "I forbid you to ever see her again!"

"Lily," Brittany hid behind him. "Call me?" She gestured with her hand.

"Hey, Judge Stone," Eddie recognized him. "Remember me?"

"Uh, yeah..." Harry remembered Eddie for selling stolen watches and assorted sidewalk con games that turned into riots. "Are you these girls' father?"

"One of them," Sean briefly looked to Harry. "Lily, you are in so much trouble!" He turned back. "What do I have to do to take her home?"

"Because she's a minor, we can remit Lily into your custody, but Mrs. Fogg will have to stay with us until we find her legal guardian." Harry continued. "Prosecution?"

"Fine."

"Held over." Harry pounded his gavel as Eddie hung around smiling a bit at him. They two shared a glance as they remembered clashing in court a few times.

"Harry," Eddie pulled out a few bucks. "Be a good kid, take care of Brittany. She's a good kid." He dropped the few dollars as behind him, Dan was searching his pockets.

"That's my wallet!" He screamed at the returning felon.

"It is?" Eddie looked up. "I found it on the floor."

"Bull, get him out of here!" Harry gestured as Bull came up behind Eddie. Mac watched carrying the next case as the tall bailiff loomed down on the short con artist.

"Hey, big guy, remember me?"

"Yes, I do." Bull grinned and lurched him up as some rag doll.

"Next case, sir." Mac opened another file. "Tricia Stiles, charge: terrorist."

"You're kidding."

"No, he's not." Dan looked down on the little psycho. "Last weekend, Mrs. Stiles burst into the wedding of James Coleman and Joanie Yours and threatened to blow up the church if they got married."

"No, I didn't." Tricia played with her long black hair and batted her big blue eyes. "He's mistaken."

"Sir," Kelly started her defense. "Mrs. Stiles used to date the groom, James Coleman, and she still loves him. We recommend psychiatric counseling."

"I see," Harry watched as Bull returned holding the evidence. "Are Coleman and Yours here to add anything?"

"Yes, your honor." Coleman stood in the courtroom with his fiancé still with him. Joanie held his arm as they both approached. "The minister had just barely started when she rushed in wearing that bomb. She threatened to kill us."

"Tricia," Joanie looked to her former best friend. "I love James. Can't you be happy for us?"

"Sound familiar, Harry?" Kelly leaned close to her cousin the judge.

"Look," Tricia giggled a bit. "I have no idea what they're talking about." The busty brunette acted all vulnerable to Harry.

"I'm with defense." Harry picked up his gavel. "Held over for psychiatric counseling." He pounded it as Roz led Tricia off. Joanie breathed a bit of relief as she held on to James.

"Anything else, Mac?"

"The cupboard is dry." Mac indicated the docket was completed as Harry stood to leave. Just as he started to step down, James stopped him.

"Your honor," He started. "You know, because of Tricia, we weren't able to get married and our honeymoon is supposed to start tomorrow. Could you marry us?"

"Sure!" Harry grinned. Kelly looked to Dan and kissed him as they both stood in as witnesses. Places were taken as Harry stood before them. Dan became a best man and Kelly assumed the place as Joanie's matron of honor.

"This is so sweet." Kelly whispered to Dan. "Maybe this will break Harry's delusion."

"Yeah, right." Dan added.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here..." Harry started as Tricia rushed in after escaping Roz. She ran behind the judge's bench to the evidence table and grabbed what looked like a remote control. Roz tried to catch her as she pointed the remote to Harry.

"Say another word and I blow us to Kingdom Come!" She screamed as Roz and everybody froze in place. Bull looked around a bit looking for an opportunity.

"Tricia!" Joanie screamed at her as James held her.

"Oh man!" Mac whined a bit. "And I just bought this new sweater!"

CHAPTER THREE
Judge Christine Sullivan-Stone walked down the hall for Harry's chambers and peeked in wondering where her husband was. She scowled a bit confusingly and scratched her ear then began wondering if he was still in session. She turned on her heel and entered the courtroom.

"Harry, I was wondering..." She started.

"Hold it!" Tricia pointed her remote at her.

"Sorry, wrong courtroom!" Christine started to turn as Tricia Stiles turned her back around. She looked around at Harry, Dan, Kelly, Mac, Roz, Bull and two other people she didn't know as she realized what was going on.

"Christine, honey," Harry looked at her. "We're being held hostage."

"What? Again?" Christine looked back again. "Why do you keep getting these flakes?"

"What did you say?" Tricia aimed her remote at her.

"Christine," Harry held on to her. "I want you to meet James and Joanie Coleman. Tricia's upset because they want to get married. She's still in love with James."

"Is that it?" Christine couldn't believe it as she turned back. "Look, Tricia, I'm a judge, I want to help you..."

"Good move, Christine," Mac grinned. "Just keep ticking her off."

"You're a pretty girl." Christine continued. "You could have any guy."

"I don't want any guy." Tricia scowled a bit determined. "I want James. Heck, I ought to blow you up because your breasts are bigger than mine."

"Hey, you got a nicer ass!" Dan blurted out as Kelly swatted him. She looked at him as she turned round once more.

"Look, Tricia," She slowly tried to calm her. "I know you love James, but don't you think there's a guy that loves you as much as you love him. Do you want to lose that?"

"Tricia," James held on to Joanie. "Please put the remote down."

"Tricia, look at me," Kelly began herself trying to calm the violent brunette. "I found myself a great guy..."

"Why haven't I met this guy?" Harry asked.

"...Who loves me very much." Kelly continued. "I know you just want to be loved, but this isn't the way to do it."

"How would you like to lead the way?" Tricia aimed her remote at her.

"Roz," Kelly mumbled. "Jump her."

"In your dreams." Roz told her.

"Look, lady," Dan tried to take charge. "If you blow us up, you will go too."

"Then I'll have James in the afterlife..." Tricia beamed an evil little grin. "I mean that's how it works, isn't it. Till death do us part..."

"That's right." Dan grinned. "Your turn." He turned to Bull. The big guy looked at him, to the others and back toward the bomb on the evidence table.

"I don't think so, Dan."

CHAPTER FOUR
A long time ago, Steven Hyde realized that the best way to undermine authority was to do it from within. Instead of going to college as Forman and Pinciotti had done, he had joined the police force in Point Place, Wisconsin in order to outdo Michael Kelso and eventually graduated to a higher station on the Manhattan Police Department just to spite the dumb boob.

"Someone call the Bomb Squad?" He casually announced as he entered Judge Stone's Courtroom.

"Halleluiah!" Dan yelled as he held Kelly tighter.

"You took your own sweet time!" Harry stopped then looked Hyde over. "You're a bomb expert?"

"Best there is."

"Hold it!" Tricia pointed the remote at him. "Take another step and we all become dog food!"

"Kibble or Extra Crunchy?" Bull wondered out loud.

"Look, lady," Hyde looked at Tricia. "You know if you blow that thing up, you go too."

"I don't care." Tricia held the room hostage.

"Is this usual for this court room?" Hyde asked. Mac and everyone else began commenting positively with different answers. The general consensus agreed that Judge Stone's room was a bit crazy.

"What are you people?" Hyde advanced on the bomb. "A cult?"

"Tell me you got a plan?" Harry asked.

"Yep," Hyde looked around. "Big and bald distracts her as I rush..."

"I don't think so!" Bull answered.

"New plan..." Hyde sneaked his way over to the bomb on the table.

"I'm warning you..." Tricia kept things tense as she pointed the remote. "Don't touch that bomb!"

"I'm touching it." Hyde still acted the way he had for years. He tapped the thing over with his fingertips. "I'm touching it. Ohhhhhhhh, I'm so scared..."

"That's it!" Tricia Stiles tensed her finger as everyone screamed from the expected explosion. Dan and Kelly jumped under the table as Harry, Christine and Mac dived under the judge's bench. Bull looked amazed as the TV came on over the bench.

"This just in… A female psycho holds one of Manhattan's criminal courts hostage..." Roz ignored the announcement as she pummeled Tricia to the floor. Hyde grabbed the remote out of the air as everyone breathed a note of relief.

"I must have set it to the wrong frequency." Tricia gasped as she was dragged away. She whimpered depressingly into the hall behind Roz. James Coleman and Joanie Yours embraced as they relished their new lives together. Kelly breathed a moment of solace and looked round to Harry and Christine in each other's arms.

"I hereby declare you two married." Harry turned and married off James and Joanie. "Your love for each other through this is more testimony than I need. Now, go on out of here you crazy kids..." He turned to Hyde. "How'd you know that wouldn't go off?"

"When was the last time a woman could make a decent explosive?" Hyde remarked as Christine clutched her chest to slow her heart.

"Dan," Kelly looked under the table. "You can come out now."

"No bomb..." Dan quickly stood up. "I knew it all the time." He grinned oddly, folded his arms and collapsed from the stress into her arms.

CHAPTER FIVE
Harry Stone was busy in his chamber signing papers and covering his schedule as he planned a second honeymoon with Christine. He had to get his itinerary prepared if he was going to take her on the route of Mel Torme's Farewell Tour from the Eighties.

"Oh sir..." Mac entered. "You still need to sign the Coleman's wedding license."

"Fine," Harry looked up as he took the pen in his left hand. "Let's marry them off." He grinned as he scratched away "Judge" on the paper, but as he started halfway through his first name, a repressed thought shot to the top of his mind. His own honeymoon, marriage, Kelly...

"Nnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."

Art was in the basement taking care of a leak from a water pipe as he heard the scream. Bull was having lunch with Dirk in the Bailiff's lounge as they looked to the source of the anguish. Pigeons on a statue in Central Park scattered to the air upon the mournful cry. Down the block, Detective Andy Sipowitz turned his eyes for a second to the Manhattan Courthouse.

Working in the courtroom, Dan and Kelly stopped working then looked up and then at each other. Kelly placed her hand to her chest upon hearing the scream.

"What was that!" Kelly wondered. "I haven't heard a scream like that since Harry's VCR chewed up his copy of The Maltese Falcon."

From the hall, Harry came running gripping his croquet mallet. Dan shrieked at the sight of him and dived under his table as Kelly rushed to stop him.

"Harry, No!" She stopped him as her shoes dragged her to a skidding stop against the linoleum.

"Dan Fielding!" He was livid.

"Harry," Kelly heard Dan whimpering like a baby as she gripped the mallet. "I know Dan has a history and that you've been protecting me since we were kids. You've been a brother, boyfriend, best friend...everything since we were little, but I'm grown now. I'm married now."

"Dan Fielding!"

"Harry!" Kelly pulled her blonde hair out of her face. "He's not replacing you! You will always be my best friend, but Dan is my husband, and I love him! Please, Harry! If you love me, please let me be happy..."

Harry grunted a bit as he began grinding his teeth. Dan was blubbering as he felt a hand grip him and pull him out like a rag doll. He cringed as Harry stared into his weasel-like eyes.

"You better be good to her, Fielding," Harry angrily told him out of his own love for Kelly. "Because if you aren't, I'm going to hunt you down like a diseased pig and bury you in five different places..."

"Oh, Harry, you shouldn't..." Dan whimpered out with a grateful grin as Harry let go of his jacket and turned to return to his chambers. Along the way, Harry stopped and turned back again.

"Dan Fielding?" He still didn't get it as he carried the mallet over his shoulder. Kelly was beaming and smiling ear to ear at Harry's reaction.

"He gave us his blessing!" She lightly cheered while Dan looked at her in silent disbelief.

END