Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own these people. Imagine if I did. –shuddertwitch- Or don't. Well, my pathetic attempts at humour (this is the behind-the-scenes juicy stuff that everyone REALLY wants to know!)


Part Two, Where Draco Takes Drastic Measures, Ron Keeps a Secret, and Harry Fears the World's Gone Mad

Harry: Dear Lord. That was quite a day.

Hermione: I'm glad we got the parchment back, though I think you attempting to Avada Kedavra McGonagall was a bit...Aggressive?

Harry: -shrug- I was never one to beat around the bush.

Ron: I heard Flitwick went after you like a barking dog in mad heat.

Harry: I know, who woulda thought? They never seemed to me like the secret-love-affair type.

Ron: I wonder what she sees in him...

pause-

Harry: Do you really want to know?

Ron: No. No, I don't.

Hermione: His nose is too large for my taste, really.

Harry+Ron: -stare-

Ron: ...Says the girl who fantasized about Snape.

Hermione: Would you /stop/ bringing that up!

Harry: -grin- You wish. But seriously, 'Mione, I'm quite disappointed in you. Snape? What gives?

Hermione: Well, he sort of reminds me of Alan Rickman. Y'know, the sexy Muggle actor.

Ron: If by 'sexy' you mean greasy, slick, and pale, I completely agree with you.

Hermione: -dreamy sigh-

Harry: Ron, please think about what you write before you alsdfjsdlkj do!

Ron: Whaaa? What?

silence-

Ron: OH, EW!

Hermione: Mmm...

Harry: -cough- Anyways. Back to my dilemma. You know, I'd rather sort out this Malfoy thing before I have to be sent off to St. Mungo's...

Ron: Yes, the singing Valentine did go a bit far, didn't it?

Harry: I haven't been that embarrassed since the 'his eyes are as green as fresh pickled toad' incident.

Hermione: D'you think he'll join your fan club?

Harry: Oh, Merlin. I hope not.

Ron: Imagine, instead of the 'Potter Stinks' badges, he might start making 'Potter is a great big sexy beast!' ones...

Harry+Hermione: -stare-

Hermione: Ron, sweetie? Is there something you want to tell us? Something you should've mentioned before we began making those wedding arrangements?

Ron: -shifty eyes- Nooo... Err, think about it, Harry – if you're our best man, and you don't hook up with Ginny by that time, maybe Malfoy can be the maid of honour! Green silk should suit him, he is a Slytherin after all, and that low cut bodice...-trails off-

Harry: -facepalm- Has the world gone mad?

Hermione: Y'know, I think I'll drop out of school and take up mining.

Harry: -stare- Apparently.


A/N: Will Draco be the maid of honour? Is Hermione really going to take up mining? Does Ron have something to tell us? And has the whole world gone MAD? Find out next time, on SCRAPS! Bwahahahahah...!