AN: Here it is guys. The last chapter. If
you guys want an epilogue or something to that effect, let me know in a
review and I'll write one up. As for some questions I've recieved, the
whole Daniel being sick and almost dying was background info that I
created and I am planning on writing a story about that. I have the
beginning ot it started actually, but I've only written a page so far.
I think that's everything. Enjoy!
STARGATE: SG-1
'You Had Forgotten'
Written by Kiya II
Spoilers for Gamekeeper, Meridian, Abyss, Full Circle, Fallen, Homecoming and minor mentions of Fragile Balance, Orpheus, and Revisions
CHAPTER FIVE – THE TRUTH
The following morning, Mike drove Jack and Daniel to the airport where General Hammond had sent a med plane to take Jack and Daniel back to the springs. Jack sat in the back with Daniel's head resting in his lap while Kat was in the front with Mike. Daniel had woken briefly when they had moved him into the car and then again from the car to the plane, but other then that, he stayed asleep.
Jack said good-bye to Kat and Mike, promising them that once he knew what was wrong with Daniel, he'd let them know. Kat had wanted to come with them, but both Jack and Mike had thought it best if she didn't. Kat finally agreed with them when she remembered that she wouldn't be allowed on the base.
Daniel's fever rose to a hundred and four point five on the flight and both the Nurses and Jack tried their best to get it down but all they managed to do was keep it from getting any higher. Daniel was started to hallucinate as well, which only added to their problems.
Jack was worried. He didn't know what was going on or why Daniel had got what he did so fast. He was afraid that he was going to lose the younger man and the thought hurt. He had only just gotten Daniel back and he knew that there would be no ascension this time for Daniel. The younger man was running out of lives and Jack was afraid that this might be the last one.
After they arrived in the springs, they were immediately sent to Cheyenne Mountain. A nurse stayed with Jack and Daniel the whole way, but Daniel didn't wake up. As soon as they entered the mountain he was rushed to the infirmary.
Sam and Teal'c soon joined Jack outside the doors, both asking questions.
"Sir, what's going on?" Sam asked as she and Teal'c approached.
Jack looked up from where he had been sitting outside the infirmary doors. He was tired and he could tell by the looks on Sam and Teal'c's faces that he probably looked even worst then he felt at the moment.
"There's something wrong with Daniel," he said softly, looking back down at the floor. "We're not sure what yet."
"When did Daniel Jackson become ill, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.
"Late last night," Jack answered. "It just hit him out of no where."
Sam sat down beside Jack. "He'll be alright, Sir."
Jack folded his hands and leaned forward against his knees. "Yeah, I hope so."
Jack didn't know how long they sat there like that waiting. It could have been a few minutes, it could have been a few hours, he didn't know. All he did know was that he was sacred that he would never see Daniel again and he didn't know how to deal with that. He kept telling himself that Daniel was okay that he'd be all right. Janet wouldn't be spending some much time with him if he were dead, right? But there was still a part of Jack that feared the worst.
Finally, Janet pushed opened the doors and came into the hall. Jack jumped up from his seat.
"Well?" Jack asked.
Janet sighed, but smiled. "He's going to be fine in a couple of weeks, Colonel, but it was a good thing you called when you did. It was touch and go there for a bit, but he seems to be stable for now."
"Any idea what was wrong with him?" Sam asked, coming forward to stand at Jack's shoulder.
"Yes," Janet answered. "Remember the sickness that everyone was getting on P3X-358? The people there were dying from it but it didn't seem to be affecting us. We found the cure for them after a couple of weeks ad treated them all."
"How then did Daniel Jackson contract this illness?" Teal'c asked.
"Yeah, especially if it wasn't affecting us?" Jack added.
"Daniel's allergy meds prevent the protein needed to fight the illness from developing. When SG-11 brought back those urns, Daniel was studying them for hours, you all remember. He was so excited about them. I'm guess that the virus was on one of the urns and he contracted it that way.
"The incubation period for this virus is two weeks and Daniel handled the urns for the first time roughly two weeks ago so it matches up. I've taken him off his allergy medication for the time being; at least until he fights this off and I've started treatment. He's already a lot better then he was."
Jack sighed and put his hands in his pockets. Daniel was going to be all right. He felt as though he could breath again.
"Any chance that I'll be able to take him home soon?" Jack asked.
"Maybe sometime tomorrow afternoon. I want to keep him here over night for observation and if all goes well I'll let him go, but you have to remember to give him his meds, Colonel. Other wise we may end having a repeat performance here."
Jack nodded.
Janet pulled he files closer to her chest. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to bring my report to the General."
"Can we see him?" Jack asked.
Janet nodded. "Just don't wake him. He needs his rest if he wants to fight this off," and with that, Janet left them.
The trio entered the infirmary to see that the lights were dimmed and a curtain had been pulled around the far bed, Daniel's bed. They entered the curtain off area and stared down at Daniel. He was curled up in a fetal position on the side of the bed, facing them. Jack could see the dark bags under his eyes and the pale sick. Even in sleep, he was coughing slightly and mumbling under his breath.
Jack stood by the head of the bed and gently wiped Daniel's forehead. Sam placed a hand on Daniel's leg and Teal'c stood watch at the end of the bed, watching over Daniel. Jack smiled slightly at the way his team had closed ranks around Daniel. Before the younger man had ascended, they hadn't been as close as they had once been but now, it was like there first few years all over again. Except for one thing.
Jack watched as Daniel's eyes flickered open and baby blues glanced up at him. "Jack?"
"Go back to sleep, Danny," Jack whispered softly, soothing Daniel's ruffled hair down a bit. "Everything's okay now."
Daniel closed his eyes and nodded softly. "'Kay," he answered and then he was asleep again.
Jack smiled at him before pulling up a chair beside the bed. Everything was going to be all right.
"Daniel, I though I told you to stay in bed?" Jack bellowed as Daniel entered the kitchen on shaky legs. "You know what Janet said."
Daniel glanced at Jack for a moment, but said nothing. He just sat down at the table and breathed out a deep sigh. He was sick of being copped up in bed. Janet had released him from the infirmary yesterday afternoon and Jack had taken him back to his place. Unfortunately the older man had kept Daniel in bed ever since they had gotten home, only allowing him to get up to use the bathroom.
While Daniel had to admit that he really didn't feel like doing anything other then sleeping, his body was starting to get very restless and he needed to get up and move around, even if it wasn't the best thing for him at the moment.
He heard Jack sigh from where he stood over by the stove. "Fine, but if Janet complains, you're going to get it."
"Fine," Daniel mumbled softly, not wanted to get into an argument about it. He felt Jack's gaze stay on him for a few moments before turning back to whatever he was cooking. Daniel kept his gaze focused on the table in front of him. He knew what Jack was thinking.
Ever since he had woken up yesterday morning, Daniel had avoided talking much to Jack. He had avoided his gaze as well. He knew he was hurting the older man, but he just couldn't deal with everything at the moment. If it weren't for that dream he had had before he had gotten sick, he wouldn't have to be treating Jack the way he was.
It wasn't that he was disgusted by what he had seen or anything like that. He wasn't but he didn't understand the feelings that came with it. Had he and Jack been lovers before his ascension and if they had been, why had he left Jack? Daniel wasn't even sure if what he had seen had been a memory or just a dream.
He knew there was only one way to find out. Since he had come back, Jack had been slowly giving him his journals back as he remembered more things. Jack only ever gave him the ones that contained things he had already remembered, but it was now that Daniel realized he didn't have them all back yet. If Jack and he had been lovers, he would have written about it and if that was true then those journals were somewhere in this house. He just needed to find them.
Daniel was broken out of his thoughts when Jack placed a plate of toast with butter down in front of him and a glass of ginger ale.
"Bon appetite," Jack said before sitting down to eat his own breakfast.
There was silence between them for a few moments before Jack broke it, "I have a few errands to run today so I may be gone for a couple of hours," he said. "Is there anything you want me to pick up while I'm out?"
"Some more ginger ale," Daniel answered, knowing they were running out of the soft drink that was helping to ease his upset stomach.
"Okay," Jack nodded, continuing to eat the rest of his meal. Daniel looked at his own breakfast for a moment before pushing the plate away. The thought of food at the moment was making his stomach feel nauseous.
"You should eat," Jack said. "You're not going to get any better if you don't eat something."
"Can't," was all Daniel said.
He heard Jack sigh. "At least take a few bits of your toast. You need to eat something."
Daniel sat still for a moment and then reached forward to garb a piece of toast off his plate. He took a small bite and waited to see if his stomach was going to rebel. When it didn't, he took another bite.
Jack stood and carried his plate over to the sink to start the dishes. Daniel watched him for a moment, knowing that he was being a pain but couldn't see any way around it. He knew he should probably talk to Jack about his dream, but if it were just that, a dream, then what would Jack think of him.
"I'm sorry," Daniel said quietly after a moment and he heard Jack still.
"For what?" Jack asked.
Daniel sighed. "For being a pain and pushing you away."
He heard Jack sigh deeply before the older man turned around and squatted down so he was eye level with Daniel. "Its okay, Danny. I know you're not feeling well and that you were a little overwhelmed at my parents place so I understand."
Daniel stared at Jack for a moment and then turned back to look at his food. "Still."
Jack placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder and rubbed it a bit. Daniel closed his eyes and soaked it in but then, realizing what he was doing, opened his eyes and stared at his food again.
Jack removed his hand after a few moments, picked Daniel's plate up from the table and returned to the sink. "Why don't you head back up to bed? You look tired."
Daniel shook his head. "I don't think I can sleep anymore."
"Then don't," Jack answered, "I'll bring you something to read if you like?"
"Okay," Daniel answered before standing slowly on shaky legs and exiting the kitchen at a snails pace. He did feel lousy, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Not with the amount of thoughts that were whirling around in his head.
Jack slammed the truck door shut and put his head against the steering wheel. He didn't know what else to do. Every since Daniel had gotten sick there had been this tenseness between them and he didn't understand what was causing it. Daniel had just turned a cold shoulder to him, not letting him in. All he would let Jack do was the bare minimum that it took to get the younger man healthy again. That was it.
Jack sighed deeply, raising his head off the steering wheel to stare back at the house. "Daniel, why aren't you letting me in?"
Jack feared that maybe Daniel had remembered something that was making the younger man want to push him away. He wasn't sure what, but he feared that Daniel may have remembered something about their past relationship and that whatever he had remember was disgusting him…or something.
Jack rubbed a hand across his forehead before starting the truck. He needed to get away for a while. To think and just try and figure out what he was going to do. Maybe run to the store and stuff to give his mind some time and also so that he wasn't lying to the younger man about needing to run some errands. With that thought it mind, he put the truck in gear and slowing back out of the drive.
Daniel watched from a window as Jack pulled out of the drive. He wanted to make sure the older man was gone and not planning on coming back into the house anytime soon as he didn't want to have to explain to Jack why he was going through his things.
Making sure that Jack was truly gone; Daniel turned away from the window and shuffled back upstairs towards the master bedroom. He figured it was the best place to start if he was going to find those journals. That is, if Jack even had them.
He paused just in front of Jack's bedroom door. He really didn't know if there were any missing journals. All the ones containing the missions had been accounted for but he hadn't had time to finishing going through the personal ones. The mission ones were easy to keep track off as he wrote the missions down on the inside cover, but the personal ones were all dated and for all he knew, if Jack and he had done something or been involved like he had seen in his dream, then Jack may have ripped the pages out. There had been periods of time when Daniel hadn't had time to writing anything down in his journal and so there were sometimes huge gaps between dates.
Daniel sighed and leaned his head against the door. Maybe hunting for the journals wasn't a good idea. Jack may have good reason to keep them from him, if he had them. And what right did he have to look through Jack's things?
Daniel shook his head and lifted his head from the door. No, he needed to find out what was going on. He didn't care what reasons Jack had at the moment for hiding anything from he, he needed to know what was going on. He needed to know if what was going on in his dreams was fact or fiction and he needed to know if this was what Jack was hiding from him or if it was something else.
Slowly he turned to the knob to the door and pushed it opened. The room was dark inside as the door swung open. Jack had the binds pulled shut so there wasn't even any sunlight flittering into the room.
As Daniel took a step inside a wave of déjà vu hit him so hard, he almost stumbled and his breathing began to quicken. He wasn't back up to full strength yet and he should really still be in bed, but he needed to know. Had to know.
Reaching around blindly, Daniel was able to find the switch to the lights on the wall and flicked it on. At tall lamp in the corner of the room flicked to life and the room was basked in a warm glow that lit almost the whole room.
Daniel flicked his eyes over the room and was amazed at how familiar the place felt though some things felt off. Since Daniel had never been in Jack's room at all to his knowledge he figured the only way he could feel this safe there and everything there feel so familiar was if he was still missing memories; memories of his and Jack's relationship perhaps, if there had ever been one.
Looking around again, Daniel realized that the reason some things felt off was because there were a lot of his old belongings in here. There was a chair in the corner with a blanket that was thrown over the back, both of which had been his. He used to like curling up in the chair some nights and just read or write in his journal.
Beside that were two huge bookcases, contain many books. As Daniel moved closer, he realized that many of the books, if not all of them, had been his. They were all his rare volumes on ancient cultures, dictionaries, and just books about whatever subject Daniel had felt the need to read on, mostly Egypt.
"Jack…" Daniel breathed softly, not understanding what he was seeing before his eyes. Had Jack kept these things because he had wanted to keep things of his best friend close or was it for another reason? He needed to find those journals.
"Closet," Daniel thought absently to himself. Best place to start. Walking over back the way he had come, he stopped in front of the closet and opened it. Greeting his eyes was a whole bare side to the closet and a huge box under it marked 'Daniel's'. He stared at the box curiously before he couldn't stand it any longer and opened the lid.
Inside the box, all neatly folded, were an assortment of his old clothing. On the top was the old brown jacket Jack had first given him after he had come back from Abydos that first time all those years ago. Daniel had never been able to throw the thing away. He remembered pulling it out some nights when he was cold and lonely.
Thinking back on that now, he didn't understand why he used to do it and he figured if he and Jack had had a relationship, which with all this evidence so far seemed likely, then no wonder he had kept the thing and had kept wearing it even though it was old and worn out.
Daniel sighed as he put the old coat back in the box and re-sealed it. No sense in letting Jack knows that he had gone through it.
Just as Daniel was about to close the closet he saw a smaller box on the floor next the bigger one, pushed away in a corner. He frowned at he before kneeling down onto the floor to pull the box out of its hiding place and towards him. The box was also marked 'Daniel's' and looked as if it had been re-opened and seal many times because the cardboard had many cracks in it.
Opening the box carefully, Daniel smiled when he realized what was inside: Journals, his journals.
Daniel lifted the box and himself up off the floor and over to the bed where he plopped himself down in the middle and slowly began to lift the journals out. The leather casing on each was worn from begin held often and Daniel was surprised to see how many of them there were. Deciding not to take them all out, Daniel just pulled three of them into his lap and opened the one on top to a random page before he began to read:
I still can't seem to get my head around what has happen much less thing of how I can possible write this down. My hands are shaking so much, I'm surprise that I'm even able to write at all. God, just thinking about it makes my insides freeze and I know the only way to make the pain go away would be…would be to have Jack's arms around me right now.
There still working on the problem back on base. Still trying to figure out a way to get to Jack, but part of me just thinks that it's all for nothing. The gate's buried and Jack could be dead for all we know. We don't know what happed on the planet; whether Jack was able to find shelter or not? I idea that he might not have is too much for me at the moment so I'm going to try steering clear of that line of thinking.
Sam's come up with something, but I'm not exactly sure what it is. I've been working for almost 72 hours straight and the General finally told me to go home and get some rest, but doesn't he realize that I can't rest. Not when Jack's out there stranded on an alien world, even if that alien world seems friendly.
I just want him home. I don't think I can say that enough. I wish if I said it enough it'd make it come true, but I know from many years of experience that it doesn't. Nothing ever does. I can beg and wish and plead, but in the end, nothing I do is going to get Jack home. Sam can. I know she can and it frustrates me to know that she has a solution and I can't do anything to help. I'm just an archaeologist. What do I know out wormhole physics and micro molecules and whatever else Sam's cooking up?
The General's right though. I am tried. Okay, maybe tired is a bit of an understatement, but I know I won't be able to sleep. Even here, in our bed I can't.
What I need I can't have? I need Jack, now more the ever.
Daniel looked up from the page and stared at the box full of journals. He and Jack had had a relationship. They had been lovers. Why hadn't Jack told him? Did he think he didn't deserve to know or had something happened? Had they been lovers when he had died and if he had been, why had Jack let him go?
Daniel put the journals down and began hunting through the box, checking the spines of the journals for a date close to the day he had died. Maybe that would give him some answers.
After a few minutes he found it. It had been the first journal on the pile originally, until he had shuffled them all around. Out of them all, it was the one worn the most, which meant Jack must had read it many times.
As he pulled it into his lap and envelope fell out of the book and onto the bed. All that was written on it was 'Jack'.
Daniel frowned as he picked it up and pulled out the worn piece of white paper that lay inside. Unfolding it, Daniel gasped slightly realizing that he had written it the day before he had died when he had still been able to write. From what he could remember of those days, he remembered at one point that he could no longer hold his pen to write and sitting up had been far too painfully to try.
He stared at the date for a moment before he finally began to read the hardly legible writing:
Dear Jack,
I'm sorry, for many things. I'm sorry that we won't be able to spend your retirement the way you had planned…and I'm sorry that I have to leave you. I don't want to die, but there isn't much I can do about it.
I know that we're still on shaky terms since Reece and I wish that we weren't because I know that's all you're going to remember from just before my death, but remember this too. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts just to breath sometimes.
I've always been so alone in my life. Before the Stargate program I had nothing. No friends, no family, no job, not even a place to call home. Home was something that had died along with my parents, but you gave all that back to me. I don't want to leave you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, I wanted too retired with you and grow old up at that place in Wisconsin that you have been working on for the past few years for us. I wanted to grow old there with you, teaching at the nearby university and just enjoying myself with you, and I'm so, so sorry that we won't be able to do that.
I need you to go on for me Jack. I know you. I know that after I die the first thing that's going to pop into your brain will be to eat a bullet, which is why I had Sam stick this with your hand gun, but I don't want you to die. I want you to live. I want you to go do all those things we had planned to do and then I want you to take my journals and finish them for me. Write about all those things that we had wanted to do and now will never have the chance.
God, Jack…I just can't say sorry enough. I love you, the circle never ends, remember? I'll always be with you, love, even if you can't see me and I'll be waiting…
Love Daniel
Daniel's eyes filled with tears up as the memory of writing this letter hit him hard. He had cried for hours after writing this letter, though no one had really said anything, thinking that he had just been in a lot of pain. He had been; the pain of losing Jack, but that wasn't even the worst of it.
He remembered what Jack had had to say to him in front of everyone else. He remembered how Jack had been forced to stick to something so silly as 'I might have admired you'. God, he remembered how all he had wanted was for Jack just to take him into his arms and never let go, but he couldn't even touch him. He had been restricted to holding his hand.
It had been because Daniel hadn't wanted Jack to be thrown in jail or discharged from the Military that Jack hadn't done anything, and right now he guessed he was gratefully for that but then…then it had hurt because he hadn't known that he was going to ascend. All he had known was that he was dying and leaving Jack and he hadn't wanted that. God he hadn't.
"Jack," Daniel cried softly, falling back onto the bed and pulling a pillow close to his face. He didn't know what else to do. His memories of their relationship were coming back to him know. It was like a dame had just broken and everything was rushing out. He couldn't do anything to stop it. So he did the one thing he could do. He cried.
Jack sighed deeply as he unlocked the door and stepped inside, carrying along the bags of groceries. Man, was he ever beat. He had been gone a lot longer then he thought and it was just starting to get dark outside.
"Daniel?" He called as he took his coat off and hung it up before moving into the kitchen with the groceries. He placed them on the counter and turned towards the stairs.
"Daniel, where are you?" he called again, but he still didn't get an answer. He's probably asleep upstairs. He's still not over that virus, Jack thought as he slowly began to pull food out of the bags and began to put it away. He'd have to think about making supper soon because he knew Daniel hadn't eaten anything. The younger man hardly ate anything unless you spoon-fed it to him and even then he sometimes wouldn't eat it.
After the groceries had been put away, Jack took some leftover soup out of the fridge and started to reheat it over the stove. Putting it on low, he then began making his way upstairs to wake the younger man.
"Daniel…" he called as he reached the top of the stairs, but whatever else he had been about to say died in his throat before he could say it. Ahead of him, the door to his bedroom was ajar and a light was on inside. He knew he hadn't left the room that way; he always made sure the room was closed when Daniel was over now so Daniel must have gone in.
Crap, Jack muttered to himself as he walked down the hall and stepped quietly into his room. His eyes landed on Daniel, who was asleep on the bed curled around on of Jack's pillows, but what made Jack start to panic was what was lying all around Daniel; the journals. Daniel had found them. Looking around, Jack saw that the closet door was wide open as well.
Jack turned his eyes back to Daniel and just watched him for a moment. The younger man looked so peaceful in his sleep and the sight of Daniel once again sleeping in their bed was a sight for incredibly sore eyes. He had missed seeing this. He had missed Daniel.
Jack sighed quietly and then made his way over to the bed. Looked like he'd need to talk to Daniel about their relationship way sooner then he had thought. Looking down at Daniel's hand as he began to carefully put the journals back in the box, he noticed that Daniel was clutching the letter he had written to Jack just before he had died. Jack moaned to himself, A lot sooner then I had expected.
Once all the journals were back into the box, Jack carefully moved the box onto the floor and then reached over to grab the blanket that was on the back of Daniel's reading chair. Daniel must have noticed that and all his books in here too, Jack sighed to himself.
After placing the blanket over Daniel and making sure it was tucked in tightly, Jack slowly began to leave the room.
"Jack?" came a hesitant voice from behind him.
Jack stopped in mid-stride towards the door. God, he didn't want to do this now.
"Yes," he answered, keeping his back faced away from Daniel.
He heard some shuffling behind him as Daniel sat up in bed and then Daniel answered, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Jack remained silent and stared at the floor. What could he say to him? He couldn't say anything. He hadn't told Daniel because Janet had said that Daniel needed to remember things on his own and because he had been far too afraid to bring it up. He didn't know how Daniel was going to react and he still didn't now."Jack, look at me please?" Daniel pleaded.
Daniel watched Jack slowly begin to turn around as though he had committed some horrible crime. He still didn't look up at him though and Daniel sighed.
"Come here," Daniel said, holding out his hand towards Jack.
Jack hesitated before finally getting his feet into motion. As soon as he was within reach Daniel grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down so that he was sitting on the bed next to him. Jack still refused to look at him.
Daniel sighed deeply, feeling the tears fill his eyes again at everything he was remembering about them, but he wouldn't let them fall, not yet. "Jack," Daniel said softly, "please, look at me." He grabbed Jack gently by the chin and lifted his head so that he could finally see into Jack's eyes.
The pain that he saw in Jack's eyes was almost unbearable. After all these weeks of not knowing what was wrong with Jack, he finally knew. He finally knew what had been upsetting the older man; he had been.
Daniel just stared into Jack's eyes for a few moments before asking once more, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Jack closed his eyes for a moment and then sighed. "What did you want me to say, Daniel? That you and I had been lovers. I couldn't tell you that, especially not with everything else you had to deal with and because Janet wouldn't let me. So I just had to deal with the fact that you had forgotten me, but I never could. I couldn't deal, but I couldn't tell you either."
"Why not?" Daniel asked, lowering his hand from Jack's face to grip the older man's hand. "God, Jack, there has to be more to it then that. There has to be another reason why you didn't tell me."
Jack sighed and looked down at the sheet. "I didn't tell you because I was afraid too."
There was silence for a moment as Daniel tried to think of something to say. He was so confused. His memories were an even bigger mess now then they had been before. All the memories of him and Jack together that he was beginning to remember were out of order and trying to place themselves back in their proper place in Daniel's mind. He wasn't sure what was real or not at the moment, but he did know one thing; he had loved Jack, loved him so much that it had hurt and he knew that he still felt the same way, had always felt that way even when he hadn't remembered the older man. He was sure of that.
"Afraid of what?" Daniel asked gently.
Jack chuckled slightly. "Not sure. Afraid that you no longer felt the same, afraid that you would take it badly and never want to see me again. Having you as a friend is better then not having you at all."
"Oh Jack," Daniel sighed; pulling the older man in close and holding on with all the strength he could muster. Jack held onto Daniel just as tightly and something inside of Daniel just finally snapped and all the tears he had been holding back just came flooding out. He couldn't stop them.
Jack felt Daniel begin to cry and pulled him even closer, rubbing a hand up and down the younger man's back. "Aw Danny, don't cry."
Daniel buried his head in Jack's shoulder and Jack could feel him tightening his grip even more, as though he was afraid Jack was just going to disappear. Well he wasn't, not this time. He wasn't going anywhere.
After a few moments Daniel's sobs subsided and he pulled back from Jack a bit, wiping his eyes.
Jack watched him closely. "You okay?" He asked and Daniel looked up at him.
"For the moment." He answered simply before looking down at his hand. Jack followed his gaze and realized that Daniel was still holding the letter.
Jack sighed and pulled the piece of paper out of Daniel's hand, smoothing it out as he went.
"I remember writing that," Daniel stated and Jack looked up at him sharply.
"You do?" Jack asked hopefully.
Daniel met his gaze and Jack realized that Daniel was beginning to remember a lot of things.
Daniel nodded. "I remember sitting in my bed in the infirmary, trying to write it even when Janet kept hovering around me saying that I was straining myself and that I needed to rest but I didn't listen to her. I had to get it down before it was too late."
Daniel looked down and Jack wondered what that memory entailed. "Daniel?" Jack asked softly and Daniel looked up at him. "What happened?"
Daniel swallowed hard and looked down at his hands. "Everything hurt. It hurt so much just to sit up and holding that pen, trying to get everything down was so hard, especially with Janet there. Finally she looked at what I was writing and left me alone. I didn't want to die and having you remembering the fight we last had. I really didn't want that.
"After I had finished writing the letter, I don't know how many hours I spent just lying there, crying. Nobody said anything to me cause the assumed it was because I was in so much pain, but Janet knew better. She stayed with me and tried to comfort me as best she could. Even Sam knew why I was so upset and tried her best to help, but they couldn't. The only thing that could help was you and I couldn't have that.
"I hated it. We couldn't do anything in there because of the regs and it hurt so much. I didn't want to die like that, I didn't want…" Daniel couldn't finish as the tears started streaming down his face again.
Jack brought his hand up to Daniel's face and began to wipe the tears away. "I know Danny. I know."
Daniel closed his eyes and leaned into Jack's hand making Jack's heart speed up. After a few moments Daniel opened his eyes again and Jack gasped slightly at the look he saw there. He hadn't seen Daniel look at him like that since…
"I can't remember a time," Daniel began softly, "when I didn't love you, Jack."
Jack's eyes widened and tears began to fill his own eyes. "Oh God, Danny," he cried before pulling the younger man close again. This time, he was the one who buried his head in Daniel's shoulder.
Daniel ran a hand through Jack's hair and closed his eyes tightly. "God, I never stopped loving you, Jack. Even when I didn't remember who you were or who I was, a part of me never forgot that."
Jack pulled back and cupped Daniel's face. Both of them were crying now, but Jack didn't care. He had Daniel back. He finally had his lover back.
"I love you, Jack," Daniel said softly, his eyes never wavering from Jack's.
Jack's face split into a huge grin. "I love you too, Danny."
Then Jack did what he had wanted to do since Daniel had died. He kissed the younger man and poured as much love into it as he could. Something broke inside of him as his lips meant the younger man's and he quickly wrapped his arms around Daniel, holding him close as he felt the younger man's arms wrap around him.
After a few moments they broke apart, both breathing heavily. Jack felt a huge weight being lifted from him as Daniel leaned into him, settling his head on Jack's shoulder. Jack maneuvered them around so that they were both lying down on the bed, Daniel's head still buried in Jack's shoulder.
They stayed that way for a few moments before Daniel spoke, "Jack?"
"Yeah?" Jack asked, his eyes closed and a hand running up and down Daniel's back. He had missed this. Missed this so much.
Daniel picked at Jack shirt for a moment before asking, "Are we okay now?"
Jack smiled bright and looked down at Daniel to see the younger man looking up at him. He kissed Daniel gently on the forehead and answered, "Yes, Danny. Everything's finally okay."
AN: There you have it! Like it, hated it. Let me know and also let me know if you want an epilogue cause I'll have to write it. Stay tuned for my next peice of work...whatever that will be.
