"Remus!" Molly interrupted, pointing at the bandage. Lupin lifted his hand; the blood had seeped through the bandages and was beginning to stain the table.
"Oh, I'm sorry Molly," he said bleakly as she helped him put another one on top.
"It can't be helped," she replied kindly, seeing his careworn expression deepen.
"I'm sorry to be such a bother to everyone," he continued tiredly. "I'm sure I cause the Order more trouble than I do help, but I can't just watch as Voldemort regains power. I can't not try and help."
"No one blames you for what you are, Remus," Sirius said. "I certainly don't. If you weren't a werewolf, there'd never have been the four Marauders, or the Map and things could have turned out very differently to how they are now. About Peter and the Dementors after I escaped from Azkaban. If you hadn't worked it out first, even Harry would have been against me. He would have done it. James' own son would have handed me over to them if it hadn't been for you." He shuddered. "If you think about it," he added soberly, "I owe you my soul."
"And you aren't a bother," added Mrs Weasley, tying off the bandage. "It's been nice to have both your company in the house now and again, what with everyone else in and out with work for the Order. And Sirius is right; we all owe you a lot, Remus. Ron and Harry's lives too; what with the teaching you did. You were very brave to go back to Hogwarts at all. We owe both of you." She glanced at Sirius, wary to include him in such a compliment. Lupin smiled gratefully at them both. "Thank you. You're both very kind."
"For goodness sake take a compliment when it's offered you, Remus!" Sirius said, shaking his head with a mixture of fondness and exasperation. Remus smiled again, meaning it this time.
"Alright. Thank you."
He sighed and reached for the chocolate, then drew his hand back. Molly pushed it over to him.
"Eat it," she said. "You need it. You've had a rougher night than most." He snapped off another square thoughtfully.
"But Moony, there's something I need to tell you." Sirius' voice had gone strangely quiet again. "About Kreacher." Remus looked up at him with trusting eyes.
"He didn't know did he?"
Sirius shook his head.
"Because you never did tell him. About what I was."
"No. I didn't. Partly because I was afraid he'd go and do something like this if he knew and now it's happened anyway. He was right when he said that my mother would never allow it. If he'd known and told her she'd have ordered him to do something about it and he would have done it. I was only threatening him because I was furious with myself for letting this happen to you again. I couldn't stop Peter with that dagger and I couldn't even stop a house elf with a kitchen knife. I've lost two of my best friends to dark powers now, Remus. I'm not losing any more." Remus nodded.
"I thought so. And I understand," he said quietly. "I feel the same. The last fifteen years have been a bit strange for me. I've lost my three best friends only to have you return innocent, find the son of the other and see the third alive, although he may as well not be, after what I'll do to him when I find him."
"That's very vicious for you, Moony," said Sirius blandly. "But am I forgiven?"
"Not nearly as vicious as a certain black dog under the Shrieking Shack two summers ago, Padfoot, my friend. You would have torn him limb from limb."
"I would not. I would have killed him outright!" Sirius protested. "Limb from limb takes far too long."
"And yes, you are forgiven."
"Why is it you never get angry at me any more, Moony?"
"I know you too well. Besides, I spent twelve years being angry at you and I think I gave it up after a while. It becomes more painful even than silver to have to hate a friend the way I tried to hate you." He paused. "I never got angry at you, did I?"
"You did. Around full moon you got angry with everyone."
"That hardly counts. And I wasn't angry. You try being a werewolf for a while. It's not fun, Sirius. You'd get frustrated too."
"Hmmph. I had enough of that in Azkaban, thank you." The two of them fell silent for a moment. Molly Weasley felt she could see something of her own teenage sons in their faces.
"What about," said Sirius quietly, "when I told Severus how to find you. And James went in after him. Do you remember that?"
"I'm not likely to forget," Remus replied. "That hex stung for weeks. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life as I was when I saw him coming down that tunnel. I could feel myself starting to change and there was nothing I could do then either. Even then, I don't think I was angry. I felt upset and betrayed but I wasn't angry. I never understood why. But I forgave you for that too, years ago. I think the only person I'm truly angry with now is Peter"
"Good," grunted Sirius, clearly still thinking about the punishement he would have liked to inflict upon Pettigrew. Lupin gave a little smile and then grew quiet again, watching Molly pack away the bandages with blank eyes.
