In which Dolphin is found in the broom cupboard

and Ron has an unpleasant surprise.

The two girls arrived on the Quidditch pitch at the same time, with Harry and Blaise in tow.

"Now," said Harry quickly, "I don't want an argument, so how about... Well, you're Beater, aren't you Blaise?"

"What if I am?" asked Blaise cautiously.

"Well, I'm Seeker, which I assume is the position Wyverna wants, so how about you practice with Dolphin here, and I'll practice with Wyverna?" Blaise narrowed his eyes, trying to see if Harry was being nice or not. He made his decision.

"All right, then. But no funny tricks, Potter. This girl is the best thing to happen to Slytherin since Salazar himself."

"Yeah? Well same to you, Zabini. Godric himself couldn't have made a better choice if he'd handpicked Dol."

"Look," said Dol, anxious to break up an argument, "I'm sure you're both predominant males an' all, so can we please just practice?" Both Blaise and Harry glared at her, obviously wanting a fight.

"Oh, come on," drawled Wyverna, "can we just get on with it? Arguments in your own time, please." Harry was about to say something else, but Dol pushed him onto his broom, and he took off.

A very long practice later (Harry insisted that Dolphin get that tackle just right) and two extra minutes (to see if Wyverna could catch the Snitch just one last time) they were finally finished. The two boys flew down to the ground and headed towards the changing rooms, talking about such things as, "Did you see the way I hit that Bludger?" and "Of course, I could do a Wronksi Feint just as well as Wyverna did".

"Boys," said Dolphin laughing.

"What? Where did that come from?"

"What do you mean?"

"'Boys'," mimicked Wyverna. "You sounded," she shuddered, "girly."

"Really?" said Dolphin turning slightly red. "Well, at least I never said, what was it? 'Arguments in your own time, please'."

"It was the only way to get them to shut up," Wyverna replied, going pale. "I didn't see you having much effect."

"Yeah? Well -"

"Doesn't matter," Wyverna said sadly. "Not important."

The first match was, luckily, Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff. This was lucky for a number of reasons. One of them was that Hufflepuff were easy, and another was that this meant that Gryffindor wouldn't be playing Slytherin until much later in the season. The actual match went ok, excepting the fact that Dol was so good that after she'd knocked most of the Hufflepuffs off their brooms, neither of the Beaters dared come anywhere near the match, and instead hovered near the edge of the stadium. This made Dol and George so bored that they spent the entire match hitting Bludgers at each other, somehow, and eventually Harry caught the Snitch.

Dolphin got off her broom happily. They'd won, 170-10, which was not bad for her first match! Of course, she hoped to make it 200-0 next time, which was against Ravenclaw. She actually couldn't wait for her Gryffindor/Slytherin match, if it happened, because at least they wouldn't be scared of her.

She hurried into the changing room, and pulled her robe off over her head. She stood there in her red shirt and white trousers, feeling very happy. She heard a noise behind her, and whirled round. It couldn't be any of the girls on the team, Angelina, Alicia and Katie, because not only had they all gone, but they'd all gone on dates. Angelina with Fred, Katie with Oliver Wood and Alicia with Lee Jordan.

"Hello?" she called out. "Anybody there?" Suddenly her eyes were covered.

"Guess who," said a harsh, grating voice from behind her. She took a deep breath, and kneed whoever hard in the, uh... private place. She heard them gasp as all the air went out of them, and she spun around to see,

"George? Holy macaroni, you nearly gave me a blummin' heart attack! What do you think you're doing?"

"Well, I was trying to scare you," he wheezed, holding into his knees, "but I don't think it worked." She laughed, more with relief than anything.

"You idiot!"

"Well, that's nice," he said, pretending to be annoyed. "I come in here to try and, um, surprise you, and instead I get insulted! I think I'll be going now." He turned around, and headed towards the door. He was nearly there when he turned around and said, "Ok, this is where you stop me."

"Excuse me," Dol said, her hands on her hips, "but I've just thought of something. You came into the room without knocking! What if I was getting changed?"

"Well, I was kinda hoping for that..."

"Do you have an eye twitch?"

"No, it was meant to be a roguish wink..."

"And why are you yawning?"

"I was trying to subtly put my arm around you..."

"Why aren't you finishing your sentences?"

"Oh, but I am..."

"Stop trailing off! Now go! I've got to get changed," she said, giving him a little push.

"Well," George said smiling, "I know a nice little broom cupboard where you could do that."

"And why would I want to get changed in a tiny cupboard?"

"Did I forget to mention this?" he asked smirking, "I'll be there."

"You've got to come, Hermione," Ron said, grabbing her arm. "I-I think there's a Boggart in there, or something!"

"A boggart? I know what that is! It's a-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know what it is, too! But do you know how to defeat it? Or-or is it... unbeatable?" he asked, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"No, I know exactly how to defeat it. But -"

"But?"

"But, as I was about to say before you cut me off, Ron, I can't do it, because I haven't had any practice."

"So what do we do?"

"Well, didn't you hear Aiken talking about it at breakfast? She says she knows how to

beat one!"

"But we hate her!"

"Yes, Ron," Hermione said dramatically, "but she's our only hope."

Luckily for all at Hogwarts, excepting maybe a few, Wyverna did indeed know how to defeat a Boggart. The whole school had turned out to see it, the older ones for entertainment (they didn't believe a third year could beat one) and the younger ones in awe. The rest of the year came because everyone else did.

She came up behind the crowd, and they parted for her. She strode confidently to the front, where Draco was waiting for her.

"I know you can do it, Wyverna," he said, smirking, "so show all those Mudbloods and half-bloods just how much better than everyone purebloods are." She smiled at him, and walked up to the broom cupboard, which was shaking violently from side to side. She knocked on the door, and got no answer apart from a hurried rocking. Sighing, she flung open the door – and the whole crowd gasped. It was definitely NOT what they expected.

"My eyes!" screamed Ron, falling to his knees. "Oh, my eyes! They burn, they burn I tell you!"

Most of the crowd had run now, and the few that remained were looking quite disgusted.

"Bloody hell, Dol," breathed Wyverna.

Dol gave her a nervous smile. "Uh... surprised?"

"Damn straight I'm surprised!"

George shuffled up beside Dol, ignoring the shrieks from everyone. "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, don't move, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew !" said Wyverna, one hand covering her eyes, the other held out to try and stop George from coming any closer.

"Ok, ok," said George, trying to calm her down. "I'm not going to move, ok?" Wyverna nodded mutely. "Now take deep breaths."

"Can I go?" she asked, still with her eyes screwed tight shut.

"No," replied George, simply. "We need you to stand guard."

"Stand guard?" she yelped. "Who from? The entire bloody school has seen you!"

"Yes," said George grimly, "but I have a feeling someone's gone to get the teachers, and I have another one that tells me it's that little git, Malfoy."

In which Wyverna tries to disapperate and

Sirius remembers the word 'remussexual'.

Later Wyverna and Dolphin were talking about what had happened.

"It was a mistake, I admit it," said Dolphin resolutely.

"You're right it was a mistake! A bloody big one, might I add!"

"It's not like you've never made mistakes!"

"I haven't got laid with some guy in a movie, that's for sure!" Dolphin gasped. That was low.

"Just because you could never get laid, doesn't mean I can't -"

"What's happening?" interrupted Wyverna. "This never used to happen! We used to be, well, not best friends exactly, but, y'know, on questionnaires you were tied for second place!"

"What?" asked Dol, with a confused look. "Questionnaires?"

"Yeah! People e-mail you them on the computer, then you fill it all in and send it off..."

"E-mail? Computer? Oh, I know – this is some Muggle thing, right?"

"No! It's an us thing! C'mon, you remember MSN? Micky's wash back? Bass?" Dol was still looking at Wyverna with a confused look on her face. "No!" gasped Wyverna in horror. "You don't remember your bass? Keahno! Oh, my gosh!" she shrieked. "This is serious! Who are you?" she asked Dol, shaking her hysterically. "What have you done with the real Dolphin Stebbs!"

"What's a bass?" asked Dol, bewildered.

"OH MY GOSH NO WAY THIS ISN'T HAPPENING FORGET IT COME WITH ME NOW!" she screamed all in one breath. "AAAARGH!" she added so loud that all the birds flew out of the trees, and some of the students turned around to see what was the matter was. Wyverna shook her head and, grabbing Dol, they both disappeared in a loud crack!

"What... where are we?" asked Dolphin confusedly, looking around.

"Well, we were meant to be in the music shop in the nearest muggle village, but it hasn't worked," said Wyverna.

"You tried to Disapperate?" asked Dol in disbelief. "You can't Apperate or Disapperate inside Hogwarts!"

"Well, we weren't in Hogwarts, were we? We were outside! Evidently you can't do it inside Hogwarts' grounds, either."

Dol sighed, exasperatedly. "Inside Hogwarts, means inside the grounds, the school, the whole kaboodle!"

"Kaboodle?"

"Y'know – the whole shebang! The full monty? All of it?"

"Ah... all of it..."

"You understand that one?" asked Dolphin incredulously. Wyverna shook her head, pushing her dark hair out of her face.

"Ok, thanks for that moment of randomness. Now, we have three questions we need to answer! Where are we, who are we, and why are we here," Wyverna said, in an amazing display of logic.

"Where? Well, we're at Hogwarts."

"I suppose instead of where it should be when."

"When are we?"

"Exactly! We've gone back in time before – why not again?" Wyverna asked.

"You're scaring me. You're being so logical." Wyverna didn't answer, just started twisting round, and shaking her head. "What are you doing?" Wyverna stopped at last, and smiled.

"I've answered part one of the next question. Now, come here." Dolphin walked over to Wyverna, who pulled the neck of Dol's robes, then let them go. "I know who we are."

Dol frowned. "I'm Dolphin Stebbs, aren't I?"

"Look at your hair – red. You're slightly taller, as well. Dolphin Stebbs? I think not. You're Lily Evans."

"Lily Evans? No way!"

"Hate to break it to you, bro, but yah, that's who you are."

"Really?" asked Dolphin sarcastically. Wyverna nodded earnestly. "Then who are you? You look different as well. Your hair is shorter, a lot shorter, and your eyes are... green." Wyverna's hair was in a short, choppy style, although still black, and her eyes were now a dark, forest green. Dolphin had long, red, curly hair, and looked like Lily (duh).

"I'm... what was it? Ah yes, Serena Starr, Lily's best friend."

"I don't believe you!"

"Check your name label. You are. And if you're Lily, then that concludes my theory about where we are – we're in Hogwarts sixth year. With the Marauders! I'm going to see Siri!"

"Ok, ok, just one last question – why are we here?"

"Isn't it obvious? To get Lily, I mean you, with Prongs!"

"Y'know what?" said Dol, as they hurried off toward the castle. "You fit in better here than in Harry's time."

"I know! Isn't it weird?"

"Sirius!" cried Wyverna, bursting into the Gryffindor common room. "Sirius!" Sirius looked up from where he'd been playing a game of wizard chess.

"Do I know you?" he asked.

She sighed exasperatedly. "Siri, you idiot! It's me, Wyverna!" A few people began looking at her as though they thought she'd gone mad.

"Uh, who the hell is Wyverna?" he said. She sighed loudly.

"Don't act all dumb with me! I am – I am – I'm Serena Starr... so... so don't act all dumb with me, or I'll badmouth James to Lily!" Sirius leant back easily in his chair.

"So what? She already hates him." Wyverna clenched her fists.

"I told you, Black, stop being such an idiot! Oh wait, you can't, can you? Because it's natural for you." Sirius stood up.

"Now, that was uncalled for, Starr."

"Oh, is ickle Sirius mad? So what are you gonna do about it?" Quite a crowd had gathered now, looking very interested as what was going to happen next.

"What happened to you, Starr? You used to be such a girlie girl, afraid of breaking a nail. Now," he looked her up and down, "well, now you're not."

"You shouldn't be interested, Black," Wyverna said, "you've already got someone, haven't you?" Sirius went pale.

"And if I do, how do you know, Starr?"

"I know a lot of things, Black. Including who the lucky, ah... girl might be," she said, her eyes resting on Remus who looked worried.

"Ok then, you want to talk, Starr? You've got my undivided attention. But not here," he said.

"Where, then?"

"Come with me," he said, grabbing her arm roughly.

"Hey!" she protested, but it made no difference. Luckily Dolphin had gone up to the dormitory to, uh... do something so she was... doing... something.

"Ok then," said Sirius, tilting his chair back and putting his feet on the desk, "who is my girlfriend?"

Wyverna pulled out a chair and straddled it backwards. Luckily, she wasn't wearing a skirt.

"Girlfriend, Sirius?" she said sweetly. "Not the word I would use. Boyfriend, perhaps. Moony, perhaps."

"How do you know?" he asked, not moving. She got up and walked over to behind him.

"Sirius, Sirius, Sirius," she said, leaning over him and resting her chin on his shoulder, "don't you remember Wyverna? The Metamorphagus you met in your fifth year? She got you together with Remus? Let him take her part in the school production of The Snow Queen? Dated you for about a week?" Sirius still looked blank. "Oh, for goodness' sake, Siri! Remus remembers Dol, so why the hell don't you remember me? Maybe this will jog your memory, um... 'remussexual.'"

Sirius stared at her in disbelief. "Bloody hell, Wyverna," he said, "it really is you."

Wyverna rolled her eyes. "Who'd ya think it was, the tooth fairy?"

"You can't tell Remus, James or Peter that Lily is Dolphin," she said, "because not even you should know. Don't tell anyone. Not even Remus."

"Aw, why not?" Sirius whined.

"Because if you do then Prongs will find out somehow, and then he'll know that it's not Lily he's going out with but Dolphin, and then he won't go out with her and we'll never get back!"

"I wouldn't be complaining."

"And why not?"

"Because then," he said, snaking an arm around her waist, "you could stay here with me."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Siri."

"And why not?" he asked. For answer, Wyverna screwed up her face.

"That's why not," she said with satisfaction. Sirius yelped He now had his arm round Severus Snape. Wyverna quickly transformed back.

"Never put your arm around a Metamorphagus," she said happily. "You never know who they might turn out to be."

In which James contracts a disease and

we find out that Lily hates Quidditch.

James made his way down to the common room at about two am, finding it difficult to sleep. He saw Wyverna there, hitting her heart out on a drum set... with only one stick.

"Oy, Prongs!" she yelled. "Throw us your wand!" James, astonished to see 'Serena' playing the drums, threw her his wand, which she caught neatly. Effortlessly switching it into her right hand, she carried on playing.

"How come no-one else has woken up?" he shouted above the noise.

"Silencing charm," she called back. "Here – you want a go?" He went over to her.

"You're using wands for sticks?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Works for me." He took over, and started hitting the drums. He was having the time of his life, if producing a terrible racket, when sparks started shooting out of the ends.

"James," said Wyverna anxiously, "James, you're holding them the wrong way! James, it's dangerous, James! Prongs, you idiot!" Sparks shot out of the ends of the wands, leaving James looking shocked, and Wyverna trying not to laugh. Taking her wand off him, she magicked up a mirror, and tossed it to him. He had tiny little spores all over his face, on which were growing a particularly disgusting looking fungus.

"I tried to tell you," she said laughing.

"Can you fix it?"

"I dunno, never happened before."

"It's my date with Lily today!"

"Bad luck, mate." He frowned at her.

"Have I met you before?"

"Um..." She made a quick decision. "Yes. Yes, I'm Wyverna that you met in your fifth year, stuck in Serena's body. Don't tell anyone, not Sirius or anyone."

"Ok. But what happened to Serena?"

"Who cares?"

"Fair point. But what am I going to do about this?" he asked, gesturing at his face. Wyverna appeared to be thinking.

"I know why Death Eaters wear hoods," she said suddenly.

James frowned. "Why's that, then?"

"So no-one can see their ugly faces!" she said, giggling.

"How did you get from my problem to that?"

"Well, first I thought you could play Quidditch because the robes have a hood on them, then I thought, it's a pity you're not a Death Eater because they have hoods, and then I thought, yeah, it's because they're all so ugly!"

James stared at her. "What did you say?"

"Um... Death Eaters are all ugly?"

"No, not that – the first part."

"You could play... oh! You could play Quidditch!" James smiled.

"Wyverna -"

"Serena. I need to be Serena in public."

"Serena, you are a genius!"

"No," Dolphin said simply.

"Oh, come on, Lily! You'll like Quidditch if you try it, I swear!"

"Why did you say no?" Wyverna whispered to her. "I thought you loved Quidditch!"

"I do," Dolphin whispered back, "it was a Lily reflex. For some inane reason, Lily hates Quidditch."

"Oh, come on Lily! You never know unless you try!"

"I have tried, James, and I know I hate it. Flying lessons are compulsory for first years, remember? Besides – it's a date, and Quidditch is not appropriate for a first date. So unless you get your act together, there might not be a second one!"

"But Evans, I've even got my robes on!"

"I know you have! I can see you, you know!" At this point Wyverna, who had been watching all this with amusement, decided to intervene.

"Prongs – I mean James – only wanted you to play Quidditch with him for a little while so I could set up a surprise for you." At this Lily/Dolphin looked surprised, but also pleased.

"Awww, you did that for me, James? Why didn't you say so? Come on – let's go!" and taking his hand she dragged him off to the Quidditch field. Wyverna immediately hurried to the Gryffindor common room where, hopefully, Sirius and Remus would be. Luckily, they were, and even luckily-er Remus knew the anti-jinx for the Furnunculus curse. James was healed!