Do I Have To Cry For You?

Please read Lord Knows I Can't Change before reading this story!

            Somebody once told me that if it is not alright, then it is not the end, that it can not be the end. I do not agree with this statement, really. When you lose somebody that you cared for, it is never "alright" again, it is just different, it becomes different. You become different. Does this mean that there is never really an end to pain?

He looked up when a squeal from somewhere behind him danced into his ears. Smiling, he rested his eyes back on the letter.

            I guess that there is not. The pain that consumes you when somebody you love dies never really leaves you; it stays with you until the day that you die. It hits you in waves, and those waves vary in size and vary in the amount of ache that is thrown over you each time.

            "Jack! Honestly, young man, you are going to drive your mother and me insane." The blacksmith leaned down and wrapped his larger hand around the glass that his sons' smaller, chubbier fingers were wrapped firmly around. The child cried out in annoyance as his father ripped the object loose from his hands and hurriedly reached up, trying to reclaim his toy. He sighed. "Jack, no, a tankard is not something that you play with." Will rose an eyebrow when he heard snickering and turned around to glare at the source of it. The older man leaned his head on his hand and grinned innocently at his son.

            "Is there a problem, dear William?"

            Will was not amused. "This is not funny, dad."

            "Never said that it was, son, never said that it was." Will crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at his father. He still held the tankard in his left hand and knew, without a doubt, that Jack was circling around him trying to come up with the best way to get it back.

            "But you're laughing." He rose his arm when Jack jumped up in an effort to snatch the glass. He hit the ground with a cry of frustration and kicked at Will's ankle. The older man frowned but didn't move. "And so you must find it funny." Bootstraps' grin widened as Jack yet again kicked at his fathers' shin.

            "Not at the situation or at the fact that you're being abused," he corrected. "I'm amused with the fact that your son acts just as the man that he is named after does."

            "Yes," Will answered dryly. "Remind me to thank Jack Sparrow when I am given the –Ouch!" He looked down and glared as his son smiled harmlessly at him and sat Indian-style at his feet with an innocent expression. "… -Chance." Will finished and Jack giggled at his fathers' irritated face. Bootstrap shook his head and laughed softly as Will rose his glare to him. Bootstrap purposely frowned in fear and held his hands up as if he were surrendering. Will rolled his eyes at his fathers' antics and set the tankard back down on the table before leaning down to gather up the irritated two-year-old in his arms. The boy objected and Will merely just tightened his hold.

            "I think that I'll give him to Elizabeth now," Wills' tone was exasperated and Bootstrap smiled in amusement as he twirled the fountain pen around with his fingers. He turned back around to the table and rested his hand on the paper as he obviously started to read, or read over, something or another. Will frowned and cocked his head to the side in an attempt to try to see what his father was working so keenly on. "What are you writing?" He asked and watched as Bootstrap simply shrugged his shoulders and made no effort to turn around. "A letter?"

            The fountain pen stopped moving. "You could say," he answered. Will shifted Jacks' weight to his other arm when the boy discovered that the tankard was within reach whilst leaning against Wills' other side. He cried out in frustration when his father once again kept him from reclaiming his toy.

            "To who?" Will watched as the fountain pen halted once more and Bootstrap scratched at his neck. The older mans' eyes roamed over the letters on the many pages that were sprawled out before him and he shook his head with a slight sigh and set the fountain pen down on the desk. He started to gather the pages up.

            "An old friend," Bootstrap answered as he stacked the papers in order and then stood to his feet and turned to look at Will and his grandson. "I'll finish later." Will narrowed his eyes at his father and Bootstrap knew that the lad did not believe that it was for "an old friend".

            He shrugged, though, apparently not pressing the matter. "I'm going to go put Jack down for a nap. After that perhaps we could spend some time together. Just you and me." Bootstrap was skeptical.

            "What about Elizabeth?"

            "Like I said, dad, just you and me. Quality time."

            The older man shook his head and crossed his arms as he smiled wryly. "Now, now, William, you know Elizabeth loathes it to be left behind. It's a beautiful day, why don't you two spend some time together? You haven't had much of a chance since Jack was born." Will opened his mouth to protest but Bootstrap held a hand up and Will slowly shut it with a puzzled expression. "If I can handle the real Jack Sparrow, then I can certainly handle your son." He walked towards Will and gently pulled Jack from his arms into his own hold and then smiled at Will as he ushered him to the door. "Now shoo."

            "Don't I kind of need Elizabeth to spend an evening with her?" He asked as he turned around. Bootstrap shifted his grandson to his other arm and smiled at Wills' expression.

            "I'll fetch her, you just wait outside." Will frowned as his father turned to leave and reached out to grasp his arm before he could start walking away. Bootstrap stopped and turned to peer at his son.

            "What?"

            Will released his arm but not his eyes. "Why are you so eager to get us out of the house?" Bootstraps' eyes seemed to lose their focus and Will was surprised that his father did not fall to the ground in a heap of despair. He had seen that look before. He knew that look, had felt that look three years earlier when his father had stumbled back into his life. It was the look of a soul that was dying bit by excruciating bit.

"He seems okay to me."

"You didn't see his eyes."

"His eyes? What about his eyes, Will?"

            Jacks' eyes had held that look when he had shown up at Port Royale missing Bootstrap with pain that was ungodly dreadful three years ago.

"I don't know what Jacks' eyes held… -Pain? Regret? Sorrow?... –I don't… -I don't know."

"All of the above. His eyes, your eyes, held all of the above."

"Jack misses my father."

And his father missed his mother.

            "…-you two to spend time together." Will blinked the thoughts away and looked at his father with a raised eyebrow and confused eyes.

            "What did you say?"

            Bootstrap looked at his son with pained eyes. "I said that I'm not trying to get you out of the house, I just think that it is important for you two to spend time together." Will nodded and Bootstrap smiled faintly before turning on his heel. He made his way to Will and Elizabeth's' bedroom and knocked quietly on the door; asking the lass to come out when she responded to the sound. She did so a few seconds later and immediately took her son into her arms and hugged the child tightly before walking over to Will and placing a small kiss on the blacksmiths' cheek.

            Bootstrap smiled at them. "You and William are taking the afternoon off, Elizabeth." Elizabeth frowned and looked at Will, who just shrugged in response. Her eyes went back to Bootstrap and her face scrunched up in confusion.

            "We are?" Bootstrap nodded. "What about Jack?" Bootstrap grinned and Elizabeth slowly shook her head and rose a hand. "Oh, no, you can't possibly watch Jack… -He's wild, William."

            "Believe me, love, if I can keep up with Captain Jack Sparrow, Jack William Turner will be no hassle. Besides, he's tired," he gestured with his hand and Elizabeth and Will couldn't help but smile as the two-year-old yawned, "so he'll more than likely sleep while you are gone. I'll be fine. He'll be fine." He removed Jack from Elizabeth's' tight hold and the child immediately wrapped his short arms around his grandfathers neck and leaned his head on his shoulder. "Go and have fun." Will and Elizabeth exchanged quick glances with one another before smiling at Bootstrap and making their way to the front door. Within seconds they were gone and Bootstrap shut the door with a small sigh. Silence. He had, once again, suggested silence. Sometimes he wondered how he even remembered to breathe.

            Bootstrap tightened his hold around the sleeping toddler as he quietly made his way to Jacks' room. He passed the table in the corner and couldn't help but stop and stare at the stack of papers that held empty words and senseless emotions. He practically had to force himself to turn away from the infinite letter.

In the corner of his mind, Bootstrap dimly wondered, as he laid his grandson down in his bed, what Jack, what his best friend, was doing.

To Be Continued…

AN: So there's chapter one of the sequel to Lord Knows. Um, basically this entire plot is laid down but I do not know how frequently I will be able to update it because I am extremely busy with school. Bear with me people, I'm trying.

Thanks to Pirate, Elf-Vulcan and Ilya with their help on names for later characters!

Chapters 1 and 2 of Lord Knows are edited.

Look for an update on Pirates of that Warm Sea Place! mid-weekish.

Please review on your way out!