a/n: This chapter was consieved at 3:30 in the morning. Sorry for over-crazyness :P I had just been talking to this Bosnian bloke about Ducks for an hour or something. Erm... where was I... Oh, yea, nobody really told me if they wanted Sirius' dad to come back, but I decided that I wanted him to, cos I had this really cool thing I wanted him to say. Well, I thought that it was funny anyway... Oh, and through the whole thing he's like very happy... like that -> :3
I would also like to point out that one mere hour after I had posted chapter 3 I came to the conclusion that that chapter was crap. So I went to take it down. Only, the internet had crashed. And then the harm was done. So now I still have the crappy chapter 3. This chapter is a bit better in my opinion. Or maybe I just love Sirius' dad.
Disclaimer: Not mine, sorry
The Woes Of Sirius Black
The catastrophe in the Great Hall left much to be desired for Sirius Black, dignity-wise. On the plus side was the fact that his arse was now the most sought after in school, and the fact that his outing had been well received. The negative part was the detention. Dumbledore had winkingly said that even though his performance had been highly enjoyable, it was not suitable to support it. Leaving Sirius with two weeks worth of detention. Though, Sirius was happy, for had it been the Potions Professor assigning the punishment he would have been stuck scrubbing cauldrons until Easter.
No, the school seemed to be alright with the whole thing, though James was a bit slow on the uptake. Peter had been very understanding – but also he underlined the razor issue ("Sirius, you really need to stop stealing all the razors.""But the sink eats all of mine!""That's because the hole in the back of it isn't a razor-holder. It's really just a hole.""Oh..."). No, it was James who was having issues with the thing. He was a bit distanced towards Sirius the first few days, but it all showed it's reason one night about a week after the lively performance. The boys were sitting in the library under the pretense on studying, but James was mostly sneaking secret glances at Sirius, and Sirius being himself felt extremely unnerved by this, as well as feeling a little bit giddy because Remus was sitting next to him. James kept looking up at Sirius, scratching his head, opening his mouth, then closing it again and lowering his eyes to the book in front of him. Eventually, Sirius had had enough, he sat up straight in his seat, looking at James, and waited. Soon enough James had raised his head to cast another look at him and when he saw Sirius sitting there looking back at him with a penetrating stare he froze with his neck in a mid-lift position. Sirius sighed.
"James, just tell me what it is, your neck's gonna cramp if you keep that up."
James looked a bit abashed at being caught, but took a deep breath and said, quite hurriedly:
"Do you fancy any one of us?"
Sirius smirked.
"Oh, James, I had hoped that you would have figured it out!"
"F-figured what out?"
James seemd to be panicking.
"Oh, please don't try to deny it, you know that I'm madly in love with you!"
Sirius stood up and started to round the table in purposeful strides. James' eyes were attempting to pop right out of their sockets and he had started hyperventilating. Sirius cast a glance at Remus, and was a bit surprised to see him trying to smother his grin with his hand. Sirius' smirk grew a bit amused, and he lightly placed a hand on James' shoulder, making the other boy jump high in his seat and squeal. He then went calmly back to his seat next to Remus and resumed reading. After a few minutes he looked up to find James staring at him.
"James, I don't fancy you. That was a joke."
"Oh, good." James drew a deep breath of relief, and seemed to deflate a little. "So, Sirius, you're gay, good on you chap."
"You know James, you really need to use your teeny-tiny head more, mate."
"Additional thought," chirped Peter,"why not start using your big one aswell?"
(a/n: Oh, that was so low. Am ashamed that I even came up with that. Am stunned that I'm actually posting this... It's a bit like that joke: "Hit me!" said the Masochist, "No." Said the Sadist.)
With everything going on around him, people slamming into him all the time making him drop his things and having to bend down to retrieve them, the detentions, and trying to make Remus see the point that everybody else in the school seemed to be getting, it didn't hit him that maybe his parents had heard of the ordeal. That fact on the other hand hit him on his first detentionfree night when he had an unexpected visit. The Marauders were up in their dorms, Peter and James were playing chess, and Remus was sharing his bed with Sirius who had come bouncing when Remus was doodling on a piece of parchment. Sirius was sitting in a dramatic (or so he thought) pose with his legs stretched our before him, one crossed over the other, leaning back on the bed with his left arm as a support, putting on and taking off his new glasses in exuberant (and to be honest – ridiculously overdone) movements when – of all people – his father came bursting through the door.
"Hello my boy!"
"DAD!"
"That would be me."
"W-what are you doing here?"
"Can't we come and congratulate our son on his successful outing?"
"We?"
"Your mother and I."
"MUM'S HERE!"
Sirius had jumped up from his position on Remus' bed and now stood staring at Mr Black who was oblivious to his son's horror.
"Why, yes. She's sitting down in the common room. Well... not as much sitting as being bound to a chair. And I had to put a gag on her. And hide her wand in the cupboard in that room on the third floor at home..."
"..."
"..."
"You have Mum gagged and bound to a chair in the Gryffindor common room."
"Basically."
"Well, at least you're not wearing the Santa suit."
"Actually-"
Sirius made a pained expression. "No..."
"-I had it sown in and everything..."
"Oh, God."
"... I mean, come on, feel that fabric." He had rolled up his sleeve, revealing a piece of dark red fabric beneath it which he was now holding out to the other habitants of the room."Come on boys, don't be shy!"
But none of the boys had the time to do anything, as Sirius had quickly shoved his father out the door, down the stairs and out into the common room, where Sirius was greeted by quite another vision. His mother was sitting tied to a chair in the middle of the room, she was gagged and staring wide-eyed and open mouthed at a little furry creature sitting in her lap.
"Dad."
"Yes?"
"What's that thing on her lap?"
"Oh, that's that animal I told you about," Mr Black said proudly, "the one that shags everything!"
"Are you sure?"
"Well...no, not really, I found it running around in the garden."
"Dad."
"Yes?"
"That's our hamster."
"Oh, really? I thought it looked familiar..."
"Dad, she's screaming."
"The hamster?"
"No, Mum is screaming."
"Is she? I can't hear her...though, I did put a silencing charm on the gag."
It took some time for Sirius to make his mother calm down (after carefully removing the hamster from her and disposing it in the welcoming hands of Remus), convince his father that the best thing would be to simply go home, and finally see them off through the fireplace. His mother had been too upset to actually comment on his 'outing', but his father had been overly positive. He had even tried to have 'the talk' with Sirius again in front of all the prying eyes (and ears) of the other Gryffindors. Though, he only had time to tell his son about the time he and his wife went to Vegas before Sirius led the conversation over to the at that moment still screaming Mrs Black. When Sirius finally came back up to the dormitories feeling that he really hadn't needed to know the battlecry of the Las Vegas Amazon-warriors, Remus was sitting in his bed, petting the hamster. Sirius decided that going to bed was a good thing to do, and as he lay beneath the covers he came to the understanding that to envy a hamster was a tad bit pathetic. But that didn't stop him from being jealous.
Review responses! 'gasp' Am thrilled that people endured the horror of chapter 3.
ozumas girl - 'Sirius falls down' "Gee, thanks" :P Thank you so much for reviewing, it made my day, I was all sad and you made e happy :D
sleeper6 - I think it can become too cramped when outing them both at the same time. Unless it's done by a kiss. Like, a mutual one. But in that case I like to say that they 'discover their love' which sounds muchmore sappy. :P
Beena-Paani - The coming out song is really great. And it gave me a plotbunny for which I am eternally grateful - Go Diana Ross!She Rulzz :P And it somehow gave the perfect opportunity for the 'I'm on top of the world' feeling and then 'crash and burn'... Mwehehehehe... Oh god... that was the evil laughter... Not good...
Miko - Well... I don't know real- Of course he's gonna get Remus :D This is me writing Slash we're talking about here... I mean, all that putting on and taking off of the glasses has to show off, right?He wasn't suspended, but thankyou for alerting my mind to that tidbit ;) was very helpful. Another reason as to why I love reviews.
Neolina - Han är ganska klantig :P Men å andra sidan så är hans Pappa det också... err... ja.Thankyou for reviewing 'a pretty pile of stones'.
hardfootrk - The first fanfic thing I wrote was this Harry/Ginny thing. I never finished it. Cos I started to read Harry/Draco, whichI had been a bit doubtful to at first, but then I just loved it and ditched the poor H/G story... to write 'Tugged into realisation'. Which turned out all the meanings of 'mad' there is. :P
Aww, come on, leave me a review. Please. Just a little one. It doesn't even have to have sprinkles on it. And you can bother me about the typo:s even though I didn't have it beta read. Just, please?
