Three Things

By Lolly O'Neill

A/N: I am so sorry it took me so long to update; homework has really been a drag and I now have to go to math tutoring because I'm so far behind (I've also been sick). Anyway, I hope this chapter is OK. I realize that things are a little slow, but it'll definitely have picked up by chapters 4 and 5. I just have to bring back a few more characters in chapter 3 and then we're all set! A slight note on the rating – this story is rated "T" (not for Troll) because of slight language (I use the "A"-word and the "H"-word in this chapter). So if you feel offended by it, I am sorry. It is also rated as such for future chapters, just in case I get into "heavier" stuff (which I shouldn't because I'm not planning to), so it's just a precaution. Anyhoo, read on!

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Harry Potter or claim to own Harry Potter. Doing so would be stupid because then I could be sued and people would call me idiotic because apparently everyone else would know that Harry and Co. belong to JK Rowling except for me.


Chapter Two


Three Things that make me feel Awkward

1) When someone gawks at my scar, feels inclined to tell me my life story, or asks me to autograph their magazine, shopping bag, arm, cat, baby, etc.

2) When someone who has never met or seen me before (but has heard of me) says, "Oh, so you're Harry Potter" then size me up. This is particularly uncomfortable when the person who does the "Once-Over" is an old woman or a man.

3) When Ron asks me to hold Celia while he goes to grab a clean nappy for her because she pooped and it smells.


Hermione's apartment is located on the fifth floor of a fifteen floor high-rise just outside of London. Harry could not say with great sincerity that he ever liked the location of it. It was ridiculously difficult to find if he drove and there were not any good apparition spots near to the building. However, with Hermione in the passenger seat beside him giving the directions and telling him which way to turn, Harry found the building quite easily and quickly pulled into the first available parking spot in the visitor lot.

"I can't go back there. I just –"

"Don't worry. We'll be in and out with your stuff faster than you can say 'Quiddich'. Besides, using magic to pack makes it go so much faster." Harry reassured her as he opened the building door with a quick and hidden alohamora. They walked across the foyer and stepped into the lift. Hermione pressed the number 5 and just as the doors were closing they heard someone shout "Wait!" Using reflexes born of Quiddich and Auror training, Harry jabbed the button to re-open the doors and an old woman with frazzled white hair flew into the lift car carrying about twelve shopping bags.

"Oh, oh, thank you dear! Phew! That's the most I've run in absolute ages!" the woman said as the doors shut and she pressed the number 6. She looked around her to see who was in the lift with her and gave a startled cry. "Hermione dear! How have you been? And who is this strapping young fellow?"

Hermione gave Harry an exasperated look before replying, "I'm fine Mrs. McCracken, thank you. This is my friend Harry. I told you about him when we had tea, remember?"

Mrs. McCracken gave Harry the "London Once Over" before saying to him, "You're a lot shorter than I would have imagined." She turned back to Hermione and said, "Dear, I meant to ask what all that yelling was about yesterday night. I could hear it straight though the floor!"

Hermione turned red at the comment before replying, "Oh, Shawn and I had a fight. Harry's here to help me pack up my things."

"You're moving out? Oh, that's horrible! Well, you must give me a ring one day so we can have tea. Where are you living now?" Mrs. McCracken gushed.

"She's living with me." Harry jumped in before Hermione answered.

"Really?" Mrs. McCracken said suspiciously, eyeing Harry up and down again. Before anyone could say anything else, the lift came to a stop and opened its doors with a ding, mercifully letting Hermione and Harry out of the confined space. "Well, I'll talk to you later dear! It was nice meeting you Harry!" Mrs. McCracken called as the doors began to shut. Harry and Hermione waved at her until the doors were all the way closed. When they did they both dropped their hands and their fake grins and turned to each other with exasperated looks on their faces.

"Who was that?" Harry asked.

"Mrs. McCracken. She lives above me. I first met her when she over flowed her bath tub and it leaked into our living room. I have tea with her sometimes because she lives by herself and has no one to talk to. She also liked to hear my stories about the magic world. Mind you, she thought I was just telling her a story that I made up for a book or something, but it was good to talk about the magic world with someone who doesn't know it exists." Hermione explained as they made their way down the hall. They finally reached the last unit and Hermione produced her key which she stuck in the hole and turned. The door opened and they stepped in. The apartment was eerily silent as they stepped into the living area.

"He's not here right now. His shift at the hospital doesn't end for another hour." Hermione said, explaining both the silence and the absence of her ex as she moved toward the hallway. They reached the room at the end and Hermione flicked on the light. The room was obviously hers; there were bookshelves all on one wall that were completely full and the room was painfully neat and well organized.

"OK. Well, you can start on the books, I guess. And I'll do the clothes." Hermione sighed as she surveyed the room. A pained look crossed her face as she shifted her shoulders uncomfortably.

"It's alright," Harry said, putting his hands on her shoulders and massaging them lightly. "We'll have this packed in no time at all. Remember, you're with a packing pro here. I've already moved four times because the press and evil people always manage to find me."

"Oh, now I really want to come live you. The press and evil people always manage to find me. That's great Harry!" Hermione joked, turning to come face to face with him.

"Well, they always did find me before I brightened up and put a fidelius charm on my place. They can't find me now!" Harry spluttered indignantly.

"I was just kidding. Geeze, didn't they teach you how to have a sense of humour in those three years of Auror training?" Hermione laughed.

"Aurors do not have a sense of humour that they are aware of, Miss Granger." Harry said mock seriously. "What, did they teach you to have a sense of humour when you were practicing to be a healer?"

"Hey, laughter is the best cure for anything!" Hermione chuckled. "Now, what was that packing spell?"

"OK, first we need some boxes…" Harry said, looking around. Hermione rolled her eyes, pulled her wand out of her pocket and with a few complicated wand movements, conjured some boxes out of thin air. "Right," Harry said sheepishly. "Well, now we just need to pack!" He finished with a sweep of his wand like he saw Tonks do in the summer before his fifth year. All of Hermione's books flew out of the shelves and neatly into the boxes and her clothes came out of the closet and chest and folded themselves into the remaining ones. It was all done in about twenty seconds.

"Well done, Mr. Potter. I'm impressed. 5 points to Gryffindor!" Hermione applauded him.

"What did I tell you? I'm a packing pro."


Ten minutes later, Harry and Hermione could be seen exiting the building, laughing their heads off. The boxes they had packed up were shrunk and in Hermione's coat pocket but they were both carrying two (with charms on them to make them feather light, of course) to keep up the appearance that they were moving Hermione out.

As they came to Harry's car, Harry finally managed to gasp out, "I can't believe you did that Hermione. That was priceless!"

"I know, right?"

"I mean, I can see something like that coming from Ginny, but you? Never!" Harry laughed, putting the final box in the boot of the car. As he did so, he heard someone yell, "Moving out, I see. Good riddance!" Feeling Hermione tense up beside him, he stood up straight, closed the boot and turned around to see Shawn MacKee, Hermione's ex-boyfriend, with his arm around some girl with blonde hair, blue eyes and big boobs. This guy is a walking cliché, Harry fleetingly thought before Hermione seemed to read his mind and voice his thoughts.

"My, my. Aren't you just a walking cliché? Honestly, I'm glad to move out. It's so hard to live with someone who doesn't have any intelligence. Although by the looks of things, you're going to be in my exact same place if you plan to live with that." Hermione said scathingly. "Come on Harry. Let's leave." With that, she turned around and got into the passenger seat of the car. Taking her lead, Harry shot one of his scariest and dangerous looks at Shawn, who shivered involuntarily, before opening the driver's side door and starting the engine.

As they started to drive away, Hermione looked back at the building and said, "I hope they like the surprise I left them." And there, in the window of the end apartment on the fifth floor was a big glowing banner of 'SHAWN MACKEE IS AN ASS'. "That permanent sticking charm worked well, don't you think?"

"It was perfect." Harry chucked.


Knock knock!

"Come in!" Hermione called though her new bedroom door from her seat on the floor. She had books scattered all around her and she contemplated each silently, trying to decide how she wanted to order them on her new shelves. At her last apartment, she had them all alphabetized by subject, but she'd be damned if she couldn't find a new way of ordering them. As she heard the door open, she quickly decided that it could be dealt with later and turned to face Harry who was standing in her doorway with an amused expression on his face.

"You're such a bookworm." He sighed, shaking his head in amusement.

"Hey! I am not!"

"Uh huh. And how many books do you own? Five thousand?"

"No, just one hundred or so…"

"And you don't consider yourself a bookworm?"

"No! People just give me books as gifts…"

"Because they know you like books because you're a bookworm."

"Oh, shut up!" Hermione laughed, throwing Hogwarts, a History at him.

Harry caught it deftly and stared at the cover. "You still have this book? Remember when Ron and I always gave you a hard time for having it memorized?" Harry laughed softly before crossing the room to sit next to her in the pile of books. He handed it back to her. "This reminds me, I'm having dinner at Ron and Luna's tonight. Do you want to come with me? Ron and I were talking last week at the ministry when we were on lunch and he mentioned that he hasn't seen you in a while. What do you say?"

"Yeah, sure. Just give him a ring to let them know I'm coming. I saw Luna out shopping a couple days ago and she looked a little stressed out." Hermione replied, sighing down at her scattered books.

Harry got up and head towards the door, but turned around and stuck his head around the frame before leaving, saying, "Put them alphabetically backwards, and starting with 'Z'. That way you're notbeing Alphabetically Prejudice."

Hermione sat in silence for a few moments after he left before yelling, "What the hell is Alphabetical Prejudice?" Her only reply was a bark of laughter.


"Ron? Hello? Are you home?" Harry called from the front hall of Ron and Luna Weasley's house where he and Hermione had just apparated in.

"We're in the back!" came the reply from somewhere at the end of the hall.

"Come on," Harry said, leading Hermione towards the kitchen where there was a walk out to the back yard. As they neared, the smell of hamburgers cooking on the grill wafted though, making their mouths water hungrily. "Ron makes a mean cheese burger." Harry informed Hermione as he opened the screen door and let her though first.

"Damn right I do." Ron said, having heard Harry's comment. He turned around to face them, grinning insanely.

"Ron! Don't use that language around Celia!" Luna said from her seat under the patio umbrella. Sitting on her lap was a little strawberry blonde girl, who was clapping her hands and squealing, "Unca Hree! Unca Hree!" She squirmed her way off her mother's lap, crawled over to Harry and attached herself to his leg and letting out a final squeal of "Unca Hree!" Harry grinned and picked her up.

"And how are you today, Celia Bo-belia?" He asked her, tickling her stomach. She laughed and then grabbed his glasses and tossed them to the ground. This made her laugh harder. "Oh, unfair!" Harry said in mock indignation. "I'll just have to…" and he blew a soft raspberry on her cheek, making her laugh all over again. Harry then handed Celia back to Luna and took his glasses from Hermione who had picked them up for him.

"So, how are you guys doing? Anything new?" Harry asked as he led Hermione over to a chair at the table and pulled it out for her. He took the seat next to her.

"Nothing really. Work's been really busy with the Quiddich World Cup coming up soon, and Nimbus just came out with a new broom that's made just for beaters and we have to test it as soon as possible because England and Spain just ordered them and they want them in time for the tournament." Ron answered. Ron worked for the Magical Games and Sports department at the Ministry of Magic, just under the department head, Garry Ladner, so it was his responsibility to delegate to other staff members whatever Ladner said. Ron called himself "Ladner's Lackey".

"How's work at the Quibbler, Luna?" Harry asked next, turning to the blonde haired woman.

A rather dreamy expression floated across Luna's face for a second before she said, "Excellent. Sales have gone up after that story about the Griffolds came out. Dolly even got a picture of it and they're so hard to see because they're invisible."

No one batted an eye at that statement, although it made absolutely no sense. They were too used it. After all, that was Luna for you.

"So, Hermione, what have you been up to? We haven't seen you in a while. How's what's-his-face? Umm…Steve, Shane, Stanford…"

"His name's Shawn. And we broke up. I moved out this morning." Hermione answered, looking rather uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, Herms." Luna said. Hermione grimaced at the nickname but decided to ignore it.

"It's OK. He was jerk. I've moved in with Harry until I can find a place of my own. Anyway, the reason I haven't been around much is because I've been working pretty much non-stop at St. Mungo's. You can't imagine how many spell related accidents wizards manage to get themselves into. The other day I had a man come in because he transfigured his nose into an elephant trunk." The group laughed. "Yesterday and today are the first few days I've had off in a while. I have the rest of this week off, thankfully, so I can catch up on my reading." She finished.

The rest of the evening went by pleasantly and it turned out that Ron did indeed make a very good cheese burger for someone who had very limited knowledge about food except how to eat it. At eight o'clock, Celia was put to bed and Harry agreed that he would read her a story before she went to sleep but ended up reading her the same one several times as she kept saying, "Ag'n" until she fell asleep on Harry, who laid her gently in her crib. It was after midnight when Harry and Hermione left Ron and Luna's place, tired after a night of catching up and reliving old memories.

"I am so tired. I think I could sleep until noon tomorrow." Hermione yawned as her and Harry made their way into the apartment.

"Same. Although the latest I can sleep in now is seven in the morning." Harry said as he hung his keys up on a hook. "Stupid Auror training has me waking up at four every morning otherwise."

"That sucks."

"Yup."

"Well, I'm off to bed. Good night, Harry." Hermione said, going into her room.

"Good night, Hermione." Harry replied, going into his room where he fell heavily onto his bed. He somehow managed to take his glasses off as well as his clothes so that he was just wearing his boxers and crawled under his blanket before falling fast asleep.


A/N: Please tell me what you think! I'd like to thank all those who R&R-ed, not just R-ed (although I suppose I should thank those people too who just read, but I don't know who they are). The people who R&R-ed are:

EmotionlessNightmare

Razz-Mi-Tazz (Your screen name is AWESOME! I hope this answered some of your questions. I realize that I didn't mention their age yet, but I think you can imagine how old they are. The definite age is in the next chapter.)

Sirius Black Here

ScribbleDream

StarFariey

CuterPuppy

hollyg20

SilverG21

Final Fight

shion20

HHR4eva

You guys ROCK! See ya on the flipside, home fries!

L.O'Neill