I am who i am - part 1
I'm just a kid, sure a kid that has gone through a hell of a lot more than most kids my age, but I'm not going to pretend that I am any more than that…not going to sit here and pretend I'm not who I am.
Well who am I! often I am not that sure my self of that. On paper I am the middle child of a mother, who died less the seven months ago. With a father who cares more about the good of the world and everyone in it except for me. Then there is my older brother who I see on the odd occasion that we happen to pass each others paths and a sister not much older than three who I have devoted my young life to.
It's funny how one day you can be one person, and the events of another day can force you to be another. Now I am living in this manor, where my family used to live. Funny how since my mom died I really do not see us, the three of us as a family anymore.
I'm seventeen now, mom died a week before my seventeenth birthday, I went from been 16 and free to seven teen and loaded down with responsibilities. Dad pops in every so often to see Clare and Wyatt, never to see me. I know why that is, why he never comes to see me…he thinks that I broke them apart, mom and himself…I was the mistake. He said it before, to my mom, to my face. To the whole family. Yet now here I am, the mistake…I look after his youngest and I try to look out for his first born. I am Chris Perry Haliwell.
The thing with my dad is that I will never be good enough or make up for the years he lost. Mom and Dad had Wyatt, then there was a whole situation where he had to become an elder, in a moment when they both thought that death was imminent they turned to each other for comfort. I was born from that, 'moment'. They still couldn't make it work and they broke. Dad came to see Wyatt all the time, but he couldn't look at me. I was the worst mistake to him because instead of bringing them back together I pushed them further apart. So from that moment he stayed up there most of the time accept to come and see Wyatt. Its how things worked for years and years but then, on one fate filled, apocalyptic day Mom and Dad they turned again to each other, but not for comfort this time, for love…it was love that created my baby sister Clare.
That was the difference; I think between us three Wyatt and Clare were made in a time of love. Where as I was something that came from comfort they took in each other in a time where there relationship was doomed. I was the hope, and when it failed, he failed me.
Mom died, and ever since then Paige had moved in with uncle Kyle and Kate, she's 16 now, only eight months younger than me. I was actually glad when they moved in, she's the one I talk to, always have… she is the only one who truly knows what happened to my mom, in detail anyway from the only eye witness me, well the only one that could talk of the horror Clare was there also. There are times I can not handle it, times I lose it but she's there to remind me that it's not all bad, the little bit of good in this world reminds me that I have to fight. It is what mom would have wanted.
Aunt Phoebe and Uncle Jason live with there two kids, Rick who is nine and Jamie who is two. They live across town. They are all really great, understanding and they withstand my anger and rage. That kind that engulfs me, on the odd occasions that I lose it and totally break down.
I still go to school; I'm in Kate's year, she helps me take care of Clare and get her to day care, things like that. She's been more of a sister to me than a cousin…more of a friend than a family member.
All in all my life is fairly messed up. But I have to be strong because Wyatt's on some kind of melt down and the young girl knows nothing…she wants her mom, longs for her but will never get her. Things are messed up…and I can do nothing to fix it only hold it together.
