Light in the dark
Notes: It's my first Suikoden fics in years... I recently fell in love
with the games again and since there are so many possibilities with the
plot and characters, I decided to basically try and write about
whatever I thought was interesting. Thus the creation of this short
story, which takes place just after Highland conquers Greenhill in
Suikoden II.
How fitting that it was raining. It was not just a light drizzle but a full blown downpour making grass slippery and leaving puddles that were ankle deep. Teresa knew that latter for a fact, she and Shin had stepped into plenty of them on their way into the forest. Even in the warmth of the cottage her feet were still freezing and her socks dripping wet. Perhaps she would have been more comfortable if she had bothered changing into dry clothes but in her current state all she could do was to sit on the bed in silence.
The rain made so much noise, especially against the roof. Was it because of the heaviness of the rain or because she had never had the time to listen to it until now?
Teresa lifted her gaze from her pale hands to the wall on the other side of the cottage. It was bare, devoid of any kind of decoration just like everything else around it. Even the bed sheets in their greyed white were plain and simple. She scolded herself in her thoughts, this was no time to be thinking about such trivial things. Searching for something else to think about, she looked up again and this time her eyes caught sight on the familiar figure standing next to the window.
The lack of light darkened his clothes but even in the dark Shin's clothes seemed to be the only thing in the cottage that was not dark. Teresa almost smiled at the irony of Shin as the light in the dark. He was secretive, reserved... anything but light. He could be ruthless, as Teresa had witnessed a number of times the past week. The thought of that brought back the awful events and memories which she had just tried to escape, both physically and mentally. She shut her eyes for a few seconds, intending to block those memories out of her head. Thinking about it was too much, too painful.
Perhaps that was why she found herself by the window and next to Shin by the time she decided to open her eyes. From there she could not only hear the rain but watch it fall from above while standing to the one person she hardly knew anything about aside from that she could trust with her life. In the corner of her eye she could see Shin casting a quick glance at her before looking out the window again.
"Have we been followed?" Teresa asked quietly.
"No," Shin answered. "I believe the Highland soldiers have stopped their pursuit in this area."
A wave of relief went through her and she dared to express it with a sigh. At least that was one problem gone, even though it might only have been temporarily.
"You should get some rest, Lady Teresa," Shin suggested without looking at her. "I will stay and keep watch."
She shuddered upon hearing the way he addressed her and did not move away from his side.
"Please don't call me Lady anymore," she spoke and struggled to keep her voice from failing her. "I deserve no such respect nor is it mine to own anymore."
"Lady Teresa, it is not your..."
"It is and it is my fault alone," Teresa cut off suddenly. Her voice could have been considered aggressive if it was not for the tears that were starting to form in her eyes. She had no doubt that Shin could see them, even though it was almost completely dark in the cottage. Wiping the tears away with the back of her hand, she went back to the bed and sat down.
"I've failed Greenhill, I've failed everyone. They trusted me to lead them, to make the right decisions and in return I have brought them this... conflicts with fellow men of the City States and Greenhill under Highland rule, all as a result of my poor judgement."
Even though she wasn't looking she could feel Shin's eyes upon her and suddenly felt the need to look down, to hide her tear streaked face from him. Technically it was no different from their daily routine. Shin was supposed to watch her, he was paid to watch and guard her. From the early morning when Teresa stepped out of her bedroom to late at night when she would return for a few hours of sleep he would watch over her. She was used to having his eyes upon her, but never like this. Never with tears in her eyes and when she was at her lowest.
"You did what you judged to be best," Shin said from the other side of the room.
"And I was sorely mistaken," Teresa retorted.
"Perhaps. But no matter the consequences, you can't change those things now. You just have to learn to live with them."
The way he spoke surprised her a little and resurrected the dozens of questions about Shin that she had never dared to ask him. Did he speak from past experience or was it just words of comfort? Of his backgrounds and secrets Teresa knew next to nothing about while she had no doubt that he knew everything about her. When she finally looked towards Shin he had already turned back to looking out the window and keeping watch. It was then that Teresa suddenly decided to ask him something that she had never asked him before.
"Shin...?"
He turned around again and faced her.
"Could you just... come here and sit with me for a while?"
It was a strange request, to both of them. Teresa realized that herself once she had finished the sentence. But strange as it was, at the moment it was the only thing she could think of that perhaps could lessen her sorrow and to her it did not matter if he sat with her for a minute or a day. With a nod, Shin approached her and then sat down next to her. Teresa could feel the mattress shift and adjust to his weight.
No more words were said that night and it took hours before one of them succumbed to sleep. And outside the cottage the rain kept pouring down.
