Author's Note: This is a one-shot piece, written out of a crazy idea emerging from a bored mind. Don't take it too seriously, and no threatening me, please.
I am Spot
"Down, Spot!", Data commands, setting me back on the floor. I answer him with an angry glance of despise, but of course he doesn't react. He never listens to me, despite all of the efforts of training him I've made. But why does he always have to deprive me of the best places? I really just want to take a good nap.
Generous as I am though, I leave my console, turning my back on him. Who does he think he is anyway?
Oh, I forgot to introduce myself: I am Spot, one of the rare female cats with red fur. Data is my pet, an android, whatever that means. He always tells me how he wants to be a human though. Personally, I don't see a difference, except that he never sleeps, which causes him to be very attached to me. My former pet, a woman, did go to bed every once in a while. My android loves to type little signs into the computer, a bad habit, but it's just too cute how seriously he studies lines and curves. They must have something to do with food.
Speaking of food, it should be dinner time now. I walk back up to Data and jump onto his lap, meowing. I have found out that it's the only way he understands me.
"Are you hungry, Spot?", he asks me, patting my head. What a stupid question!
The android picks me up, pinching my stomach in doing so. Ouch! I push my claws into his greenish skin. He doesn't seem to care. "Cat Food, Number 6."
A small bowl shows up. I try to reach it, but Data holds on to me tightly. Picky as he is, he sets us down onto the floor again, me and my bowl of brown meat-but wait, what's that? It smells wrong, this isn't my food! That's disgusting!
I look at my android accusingly, but it takes him a few seconds to notice. "Spot, you really have a very individual sense of taste! I merely changed one component of your food, and it is not acceptable to you anymore. Your receptors are still inconceivable to me."
Stop jabbering, give me something to eat! Data picks up the bowl, drops it off at the replicator, and gets a new portion. Ah, yes, this is the right food! Good android! I dig my teeth into the meat and swallow it in big bites. It's not as good as mice of course, but acceptable, since we have absolutely no mice in our quarters. I looked for them everywhere, but Data seems to have killed all of them for himself, though he never eats any.
This tastes great, awesome to be exact, the way the juice fills my mouth…but apparently, the android doesn't seem to understand the miracle of food, or he would not disturb me like that, taking the bowl away from me right after the last bite-before I was able to clean it out with my tongue. How messy!
I roll myself into a little ball in the corner and start licking my tail carefully, after it got stuck in one of these hissing doors yesterday, which still hurts. But once again, my quiet moment is being interrupted. The ground starts shaking and won't stop, although I am protesting with a loud "mreow!".
Everytime that happens, Data jumps up and either talks to a voice coming from somewhere, or rushes out of our quarters. I suppose he's scared. But as long as he comes back everytime, I don't mind.
All in all, I am proud of my android, since he is well trained. And maybe a nap wouldn't be such a bad idea now.
