5. MARGE AND MAGGIE
"Classes end early here," Hagrid said.
The sky was clear and blue,bereft of clouds.
"What's it like at Hogwarts?" Lisa asked.
"Well,Lisa,Hogwarts is a huge bloody castle. We have a lake,
complete with a giant squid. E's friendly,though..."
This was better than he had expected. Hagrid already had two
friends. Bart and Lisa had agreed to show him around Springfield.
Walking them home was part of it. It was a rare day when Bart
didn't have to write something like PASTE IS NOT THE CURE-ALL on
the blackboard.
As they led him down the quiet streets,he told them about the
Forbidden Forest and how he loved dragons-
"Dragons? Cool." Bart said.
He looked over at Lisa. She looked to be deep in thought.
"Somethin' wrong,Lisa?"
"It's just that all these things...I've been told they're not real.
To you,they're regular sights."
"But no less amazin'."
"So can you do magic?" Bart asked.
"Not here," Hagrid said.
"Why not?"
"Against our rules."
"Rules? What rules?"
"We're real careful not to expose regular people to magic."
"But you-how old are you?"
"How old would ye say I am?"
"I dunno," Bart said.
Lisa looked downcast. "Many afflicted with gigantism die rather
young-"
"I'm seventy. And what d'ye mean 'afflicted',Lisa?"
She looked sad for a moment. "Just that most people who grow to be
eight feet tall or more usually do so because of some
cerebrovascular disease or a number of other abnormalities-"
"There's nothin' abnormal about me. I'm a natural born half-giant."
"What's the half that's not a giant?" Bart asked.
"Dad was a wizard."
"Your mom was a giant?"
"Giantess,Bart," Lisa said.
"Oh yeah."
"I'm the Care Of Magical Creatures teacher," Hagrid said. "Professor
Dumbledore-great man,Dumbledore-put me onto the job."
"I spoke to him over the phone," Lisa said,smiling at the memory.
"Principal Skinner had to leave the room and told me to fill in.
Headmaster Dumbledore was so nice. He said he didn't often use
telephones and it was an honor speaking with the finest student
in the school. Skinner didn't tell him anything about me."
"He described yeh perfectly,too." Hagrid said.
"He did? While we were talking,I started getting mental pictures
of a distinguished,elderly man with long,silky silver hair and a
beard-"
"That's him."
"Wow," Lisa said.
Hagrid chuckled. "Professor Dumbledore is brilliant. A dear friend
a' mine...I thought it'd be a hard week,not seein' the usual
faces..."
They turned onto a street called Evergreen Terrace.
"We live just up the street," Bart said.
They walked the distance in silence.
Lisa reached for the doorknob.
The door flew open,revealing Mrs. Simpson. Hagrid couldn't take
his eyes off of her hair. It was so...blue. And so...tall.
"Hey,Mom." Bart said.
"Mom?" said Lisa, "This is Hagrid."
"Ma'am," Hagrid said.
"Oh," Marge said. "Well...welcome to Springfield. Please,come in."
Hagrid had to turn sideways and duck to fit through the front door.
"Would you like something to eat?" she asked.
"Nah," Hagrid said,following her into the kitchen. "I'm not hungry,
Mrs. Simpson."
"Marge," she said,extending her hand.
"Hagrid," he said. He kissed her hand.
"Hagrid..." she thought for a moment. "First name?"
"Last. Rubeus Hagrid."
"I see. That's Irish,isn't it?"
"Scottish,Irish,Slovak,Bohemian and English. Maybe a bit of German."
He noticed the baby,sitting in the high chair by the table.
"And who's this?"
"That's Maggie,our youngest."
Hagrid knelt down in front of the chair. "'Ello,Maggie."
He could have sworn he saw a smile behind the pacifier.
Lisa and Bart stared in amazement; Hagrid was holding Snowball II
in his huge arms, and the cat was actually purring. "She never does
that," Lisa said.
"She's a beautiful cat," Hagrid said. "What's 'er name?"
"Snowball Two."
"Is there a Snowball One?"
Lisa looked at the table. Just thinking about Snowball made her sad.
"Sorry," Hagrid said.
"That's all right," Lisa said.
"It's dead heartbreakin' when they leave yeh."
Now he looked sad.
"Santa's Little Helper is around here somewhere," Bart said.
"'Nother cat?"
"No,a dog."
"A cat AND a dog?"
"They co-exist."
Hagrid grinned at Lisa.
"I owned an elephant once."
Hagrid opened his mouth to say something. "Lost the thought," he
said. "Sorry."
"There are deer around here," Lisa said. "In the woods."
"Can yeh show me the woods?"
"Sure," Lisa said. "I'm glad you came here,Hagrid."
"So am I," Hagrid said. "I'm a bit homesick,but I'm glad."
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Bart asked.
"I do. How about yerself?"
"Nah. What's her name?"
"Adrianna."
"That's a beautiful name," Lisa said. "Is she a teacher?"
"She teaches Herbology. Professor Sprout is her title. Sometimes
Madame Sprout."
Mrs. Simpson came in from the kitchen. "Would you like to stay for
dinner,Hagrid?"
"Uh...well,I-"
"Please stay,Hagrid," Lisa said.
"Well,okay..."
A car pulled into the driveway.
"Homer's here," said Bart.
"Classes end early here," Hagrid said.
The sky was clear and blue,bereft of clouds.
"What's it like at Hogwarts?" Lisa asked.
"Well,Lisa,Hogwarts is a huge bloody castle. We have a lake,
complete with a giant squid. E's friendly,though..."
This was better than he had expected. Hagrid already had two
friends. Bart and Lisa had agreed to show him around Springfield.
Walking them home was part of it. It was a rare day when Bart
didn't have to write something like PASTE IS NOT THE CURE-ALL on
the blackboard.
As they led him down the quiet streets,he told them about the
Forbidden Forest and how he loved dragons-
"Dragons? Cool." Bart said.
He looked over at Lisa. She looked to be deep in thought.
"Somethin' wrong,Lisa?"
"It's just that all these things...I've been told they're not real.
To you,they're regular sights."
"But no less amazin'."
"So can you do magic?" Bart asked.
"Not here," Hagrid said.
"Why not?"
"Against our rules."
"Rules? What rules?"
"We're real careful not to expose regular people to magic."
"But you-how old are you?"
"How old would ye say I am?"
"I dunno," Bart said.
Lisa looked downcast. "Many afflicted with gigantism die rather
young-"
"I'm seventy. And what d'ye mean 'afflicted',Lisa?"
She looked sad for a moment. "Just that most people who grow to be
eight feet tall or more usually do so because of some
cerebrovascular disease or a number of other abnormalities-"
"There's nothin' abnormal about me. I'm a natural born half-giant."
"What's the half that's not a giant?" Bart asked.
"Dad was a wizard."
"Your mom was a giant?"
"Giantess,Bart," Lisa said.
"Oh yeah."
"I'm the Care Of Magical Creatures teacher," Hagrid said. "Professor
Dumbledore-great man,Dumbledore-put me onto the job."
"I spoke to him over the phone," Lisa said,smiling at the memory.
"Principal Skinner had to leave the room and told me to fill in.
Headmaster Dumbledore was so nice. He said he didn't often use
telephones and it was an honor speaking with the finest student
in the school. Skinner didn't tell him anything about me."
"He described yeh perfectly,too." Hagrid said.
"He did? While we were talking,I started getting mental pictures
of a distinguished,elderly man with long,silky silver hair and a
beard-"
"That's him."
"Wow," Lisa said.
Hagrid chuckled. "Professor Dumbledore is brilliant. A dear friend
a' mine...I thought it'd be a hard week,not seein' the usual
faces..."
They turned onto a street called Evergreen Terrace.
"We live just up the street," Bart said.
They walked the distance in silence.
Lisa reached for the doorknob.
The door flew open,revealing Mrs. Simpson. Hagrid couldn't take
his eyes off of her hair. It was so...blue. And so...tall.
"Hey,Mom." Bart said.
"Mom?" said Lisa, "This is Hagrid."
"Ma'am," Hagrid said.
"Oh," Marge said. "Well...welcome to Springfield. Please,come in."
Hagrid had to turn sideways and duck to fit through the front door.
"Would you like something to eat?" she asked.
"Nah," Hagrid said,following her into the kitchen. "I'm not hungry,
Mrs. Simpson."
"Marge," she said,extending her hand.
"Hagrid," he said. He kissed her hand.
"Hagrid..." she thought for a moment. "First name?"
"Last. Rubeus Hagrid."
"I see. That's Irish,isn't it?"
"Scottish,Irish,Slovak,Bohemian and English. Maybe a bit of German."
He noticed the baby,sitting in the high chair by the table.
"And who's this?"
"That's Maggie,our youngest."
Hagrid knelt down in front of the chair. "'Ello,Maggie."
He could have sworn he saw a smile behind the pacifier.
Lisa and Bart stared in amazement; Hagrid was holding Snowball II
in his huge arms, and the cat was actually purring. "She never does
that," Lisa said.
"She's a beautiful cat," Hagrid said. "What's 'er name?"
"Snowball Two."
"Is there a Snowball One?"
Lisa looked at the table. Just thinking about Snowball made her sad.
"Sorry," Hagrid said.
"That's all right," Lisa said.
"It's dead heartbreakin' when they leave yeh."
Now he looked sad.
"Santa's Little Helper is around here somewhere," Bart said.
"'Nother cat?"
"No,a dog."
"A cat AND a dog?"
"They co-exist."
Hagrid grinned at Lisa.
"I owned an elephant once."
Hagrid opened his mouth to say something. "Lost the thought," he
said. "Sorry."
"There are deer around here," Lisa said. "In the woods."
"Can yeh show me the woods?"
"Sure," Lisa said. "I'm glad you came here,Hagrid."
"So am I," Hagrid said. "I'm a bit homesick,but I'm glad."
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Bart asked.
"I do. How about yerself?"
"Nah. What's her name?"
"Adrianna."
"That's a beautiful name," Lisa said. "Is she a teacher?"
"She teaches Herbology. Professor Sprout is her title. Sometimes
Madame Sprout."
Mrs. Simpson came in from the kitchen. "Would you like to stay for
dinner,Hagrid?"
"Uh...well,I-"
"Please stay,Hagrid," Lisa said.
"Well,okay..."
A car pulled into the driveway.
"Homer's here," said Bart.
