No one commented. ;o;
EVERYONE FREAKING HATES ME. OHMYGOSH ANGST.
Or maybe I just suck.
Yeah.
Anyway, another random part of the story for all you non-existent readers out there. I'm still optimistic.
It was early Wednesday morning, around the time when little boys and/or girls go to school to goof off all day and maybe waste some paper, if it's a particularly good day. Rren woke up with the realization that she had fallen asleep at the windowsill last night, with a dusty forehead and drool all over the carpet. Ew. Rising out of the stiff chair, she rubbed her eyes with her palms and looked around blearily. Then another realization hit her harder. Sirius had not come last night.
Mood taking a frantic turn, Rren swept across the kitchen into her bedroom and checked the clock. "Sometime early Wednesday morning," the clock read in digital green lettering. "Stupid Literaclock," she grumbled, grabbing her bathrobe and tying the sash as she reentered the kitchen and exited into the living room. "12:00? Stupid VCR." Stomping around now like a crazed abominable snowman, Rren entered the kitchen once more and noticed for the first time in two years that the stove had a clock on it. "Wow, I could of used that thing." The clock read 6:00 am.
"BINGO BABYCAKES." She shouted for no reason as the fire hydrant scraped into the kitchen from the direction of Rren's bedroom. "Mind if I grab some Cheerios before I head out? Me and the hoses have work to do today…"
After watching the hydrant hop up and down in an attempt to reach the top cabinet, Rren opened it and took out a box of Cheerios, bowl and spoon. "That's alright, I hate milk," added the hydrant as Rren headed to the refrigerator.
"Lots of sugar please, too. Oh. More than that. Come'on. Keep it going. Thaaaat's it. Yeah. Good." The fire hydrant looked very pleased.
There was a moment of silence as the hydrant stared at the bowl of sugary Cheerios. "It appears I don't have a mouth…" declared the hydrant thoughtfully, but Rren was already up and marching toward the door. There were more Sirius matters to attend to. Such as the fact that something very wrong had happened to serious last night. But the sight that met Rren as she wrenched open the door caused her to gasp in shock.
"My, what a lovely Tuesday night this is in front of Hogwarts castle at about 11:00 pm." Draco Malfoy drawled to his two cronies, Whatshisface and Goyle.
"Der, why does the narrator always have to mention the day at the beginning of each new chapter thingy?" Goyle asked, scratching his head. He sounded like a clown.
"Because, you idiot, the reader will get confused if we don't." Draco practically yelled in badly placed italics.
"Oh-ho." Said Whatshisface, and he didn't even ask the question. So you see how bad that was.
All this occurred while they were still walking. Amazing. Suddenly they heard a petite little cough and thought it was quite petite. But they couldn't figure out where it was coming from.
"HELLO? WHO'S THERE?" Goyle screamed in agony. Oh wait. That sounded wrong.
"It's me, the Moon." Said an impersonator.
"Go away Impersonator Person, no one likes your style," drawled Draco. "Hey Whatshisface, do you like Impersonator's style?" drawled Draco.
"No," drawled Draco. Crap. Not Draco! The other guy who isn't talking. What's his face? Oh yeah, Whatshisface. An…anyway.
A moon crater fell from the sky and crashed onto Whatshisface's face, sending him 210 feet into the earth's crust at speeds unmatched by any…person.
Everyone stared at the enormous hole the impact left.
"It's me, the Moon." Said the Moon, breaking the silence.
"Oh…I thought it was you." Drawled Draco, casting his eyes upward. The Moon blushed slightly because she thought Draco was sorta hot, especially when he drawled, and all those Christian fanatics all over the world went nutso and hid in their little bomb shelters which they had prepared especially for Armageddon.
"I've got a secret." Whispered the Moon with a small grin.
"I haven't got the time," dissed Draco, and he stalked onward toward Hogwarts castle. "Come'on, crony people…er, person. If we hurry we can still get to Gryffindor House in time to make Potter wet the bed!11111"
"This secret is even better than Potter and wet beds combined…" the Moon rushed before Draco could go too far. She was really an attention hog, so you see.
"Oh really?" Draco stopped for a moment and gave his attention to her.
"Oh yes. It's about…Sirius. Sirius Black."
Draco gaped. "SERIOUSLY?"
"No, Sirius. Why does everyone get that mixed up?" muttered the Moon in an annoyed tone.
"Never mind that! Do you know where he is?" Draco was thoroughly excited now, unlike you've never seen him before! Whatshisface and Goyle agree, three thumbs down! See it in a theatre near you!
"He was talking incessantly about his love, Rren, Wind Goddess of his Soul."
"Where does this Wind Goddess live?" Draco exclaimed.
"Oh, I cannot tell you that…" The Moon never gave out her secrets, so you see.
"Please?" Draco drawled.
The Moon didn't hesitate to spill the beans.
A few minutes later, Draco was whipping out his cool wizard cell phone, snapping it open and hastily calling his best friend, D00d the Demented Dementor.
"D00d?" Draco was hopping up and down. "I've got a treat for you tonight. I think you'll like it. It goes by the name of Sirius Black."
"Wcccrrrrrrrrrhat? Draccccrrrrrrrrr? Is that you buccccccrrrrr you're going out on meccccrrrrrr." Came a ghastly voice on the other end. In the background there were noises of a bunch of racous yet jolly shouting and some chanting along the lines of, "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"
"D00d. We're talking about SI-RIUS BL-ACK. The most wanted man in all of London? Mass killer? Potter's Pretty Pet? GET HIM."
There was some more cccccrrrrr-ing and yelling on both sides of the line, but eventually the point got across and the Dementors were on their way.
