7. HOMER
"They SAID you were big," Homer said. He sat down,as if he were
afraid Hagrid might eat him. Someone would have to be pretty
hungry to eat Homer Simpson.
Hagrid put down the chicken thigh. He chewed for a moment,swallowed,
and asked "Who said?"
"There was a meeting," Marge said. "Teachers and parents. Wasn't
there one at Hogwarts?"
"Oh. Nah,that would be chaos. See...there are wizard families who
don't get on with each other."
"Why not?" Lisa asked.
"It's jus' that not everyone from wizardin' families can do magic.
Some look down on 'em. Call 'em 'mudbloods.' It's a real bad insult.
I'm not one of 'em. I told yeh abou' Hermione,Lisa?"
"Who's Hermione?" Marge asked.
"Hermione Granger. Best student at Hogwarts. Very special friend o'
mine. Her parents are Muggles-nonmagic folks-and some of the
students hate her for it."
"That's terrible," Marge said.
Hagrid chuckled. The table vibrated. "Ah...she usually doesn't let
it bother her. She's a tough one,Hermione. Real pretty, always good
company." He smiled. "I love her."
"Could I write her a letter?" Lisa asked.
"I'll give it to 'er myself."
Lisa grinned.
"Skinner mentioned you were in prison?" Marge asked.
"Big deal," Homer said. "How many times have I been in jail?"
"I stopped counting after the sixth time," Bart said.
"See?" Homer asked.
"It was for somethin' I didn't do. Doesn't matter anymore,I was
proven innocent."
Maggie grabbed one of his fingers. She could barely get her arms
around it. He lifted her out of the chair,and she gurgled with
delight.
"Hermione again?"
"Well,in this case...that's a girl,Maggie...Hermione helped all she
could. See,there was a basilisk petrifyin' people and Hermione was
one of 'em."
"Is she okay now?" Lisa asked.
"Oh,yeah,she's great. It was Harry stopped the basilisk."
"Harry?"
"Harry Potter. He's famous in our world. I know he wishes he wasn't.
I wouldn' love him any less if he weren't. But he is."
"What did he do?" Bart asked.
Hagrid leaned closer. "Bart, think of our world as an unseen world
under yours. You don't see us 'cause we prefer it that way. I don't
mind bein' here with you folks,let me say that now. There is evil
in our world,same as yours. His name is..." he hesitated a moment.
"His name is Voldemort. He's murdered a lot o' people. Including
Harry's parents when he was a baby. He tried to kill Harry and
the killspell went wrong and messed him up."
Marge gasped.
"He got me expelled from Hogwarts. Somebody died,and he framed me.
'e wants to kill Harry. Harry's defeated 'im every time. That's
why he's famous. He's known as the Boy Who Lived. I just call him
Harry. He's the best wizard I know,besides Dumbledore." He looked
at Homer. "Albus Dumbledore,the Headmaster."
"I won't remember that in five minutes."
"Good,'cause I probably shouldn'ta told yeh that..."
"They SAID you were big," Homer said. He sat down,as if he were
afraid Hagrid might eat him. Someone would have to be pretty
hungry to eat Homer Simpson.
Hagrid put down the chicken thigh. He chewed for a moment,swallowed,
and asked "Who said?"
"There was a meeting," Marge said. "Teachers and parents. Wasn't
there one at Hogwarts?"
"Oh. Nah,that would be chaos. See...there are wizard families who
don't get on with each other."
"Why not?" Lisa asked.
"It's jus' that not everyone from wizardin' families can do magic.
Some look down on 'em. Call 'em 'mudbloods.' It's a real bad insult.
I'm not one of 'em. I told yeh abou' Hermione,Lisa?"
"Who's Hermione?" Marge asked.
"Hermione Granger. Best student at Hogwarts. Very special friend o'
mine. Her parents are Muggles-nonmagic folks-and some of the
students hate her for it."
"That's terrible," Marge said.
Hagrid chuckled. The table vibrated. "Ah...she usually doesn't let
it bother her. She's a tough one,Hermione. Real pretty, always good
company." He smiled. "I love her."
"Could I write her a letter?" Lisa asked.
"I'll give it to 'er myself."
Lisa grinned.
"Skinner mentioned you were in prison?" Marge asked.
"Big deal," Homer said. "How many times have I been in jail?"
"I stopped counting after the sixth time," Bart said.
"See?" Homer asked.
"It was for somethin' I didn't do. Doesn't matter anymore,I was
proven innocent."
Maggie grabbed one of his fingers. She could barely get her arms
around it. He lifted her out of the chair,and she gurgled with
delight.
"Hermione again?"
"Well,in this case...that's a girl,Maggie...Hermione helped all she
could. See,there was a basilisk petrifyin' people and Hermione was
one of 'em."
"Is she okay now?" Lisa asked.
"Oh,yeah,she's great. It was Harry stopped the basilisk."
"Harry?"
"Harry Potter. He's famous in our world. I know he wishes he wasn't.
I wouldn' love him any less if he weren't. But he is."
"What did he do?" Bart asked.
Hagrid leaned closer. "Bart, think of our world as an unseen world
under yours. You don't see us 'cause we prefer it that way. I don't
mind bein' here with you folks,let me say that now. There is evil
in our world,same as yours. His name is..." he hesitated a moment.
"His name is Voldemort. He's murdered a lot o' people. Including
Harry's parents when he was a baby. He tried to kill Harry and
the killspell went wrong and messed him up."
Marge gasped.
"He got me expelled from Hogwarts. Somebody died,and he framed me.
'e wants to kill Harry. Harry's defeated 'im every time. That's
why he's famous. He's known as the Boy Who Lived. I just call him
Harry. He's the best wizard I know,besides Dumbledore." He looked
at Homer. "Albus Dumbledore,the Headmaster."
"I won't remember that in five minutes."
"Good,'cause I probably shouldn'ta told yeh that..."
