Chapter 15: Taking Risks

How should I carry on with my life? I knew I couldn't just cry and cry all time. But what could I do? What could a helpless girl like me do? I've thought of talking to a friend, like Ino, but I knew she wouldn't understand me. No one would..

I forced myself not to cry but I just can't help it. I shed more tears as I looked at Sasuke's journal and remembered its contents. I knew Sasuke was secretive but I never thought that Uchiha Sasuke was also a sad, sweet but possessive person. I didn't know if I should pity him or be angry. I was confused.

I cannot bring myself to sleep. How will I be able to do that if my mind was filled with sorrowful thoughts? I might not even wake up the next morning because of too much problems and I will just be stucked in the land of nightmares. That would be nice..

I turned in the other side, just to avoid seeing the journal. My eyes fell on Gaara's gift. Yup, I haven't opened it yet. It's strange but I didn't have the feeling of excitement when I received that gift, not like some other children who likes to open their presents the moment they lay their hands on it.

I sighed. I wanted to sleep but I can't. I remembered the song my mommy used to sing for me when I was a little girl whenever I can't get myself to sleep.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine . You make me happy when skies turn gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.." I softly sang my mommy's lullaby. Before, it reminded me so much of my mom but now, it reminded me of Gaara.

It's funny that it always rain whenever we see each other in that park. I missed those days with him. Seeing that unforgettable place alone brings me into tears. There are even times that I just would like to sit in that same swing all afternoon and reminisce my memories of him-- from the day I first talked with him until the day he left me. I wanted to cry more.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.." I continued to sing. My mommy told me that whenever I feel scared or alone, I'll just sing that song and everything will be fine. That's the reason why I was singing it. I hope that when I wake up the next morning, everything will be alright.

"You make me happy when skies turn gray.."

-----

I went to school next morning. I wasn't surprised that Sasuke was absent. It was probably because of the shooting for his next commercial.

I sat on my chair, staring at the cloudy sky outside. The sky itself looked so sad that it would shed its tears soon. I heavily sighed.

-----

Ino didn't attend school that day. I called her but her mommy told me that Ino was sick. I was alone again.

I sat on s bench in our school's waiting area. I watched as thousands of raindrop violently fell from the sky. I didn't bring an umbrella so I waited for the rain to stop. I've been sitting in there for nearly an hour but still the heavens won't cease crying. I lowered my head.

"Hey, Sakura!" I heard a voice from a far.

I raised my head and saw the least person I expected to be there. Naruto.. He was using a blue umbrella and his other hand held a red colored one. He ran towards my direction. He caught his breath upon reaching me.

"H-Hi Naruto.. I thought you went to your house early." I told him.

"I did. That was to get an umbrella for you, Sakura." He answered with his usual smile. "I wouldn't want you to get sick, would I?" He then gave me the red umbrella.

How sweet.. I never thought that Naruto was that kind. Perhaps I was only seeing his stupid, clumsy side. I flashed him a genuine smile.

"Thanks." I said. "Since we don't have a lot of assignments today, why don't we go at Ichiraku and warm our stomach with a delicious bowl of ramen? And yeah, my treat."

He scratched the back of his head with his free hand then said, "A-Are you sure, Sakura?"

My smile grew wider. "Of course! Let's go now, shall we?"

Naruto smiled back. We started on our way to Ichiraku. It's nice to relax once in a while..

-----

Naruto and I ordered miso ramen. I haven't tasted ramen for a long time and I found it really delicious. No wonder Naruto was so fond of eating it. I watched him with a smile as he devoured his ramen. He put down his chopsticks and ordered another bowl. He sighed.

"It's so delicious!" He exclaimed that some of the customers in there stared at us. His hand was placed on top of his tummy. "Sakura, is there something bothering you?"

"H-Huh? Why did you ask me that?" I said. I was surprised by his question.

"Even if you are smiling right now, I know deep inside that something is bothering you. Please tell me, Sakura." He answered.

"Nothing's really bothering me, Naruto. I'm probably tired." I answered followed by a tired sigh. He looked straight at my emerald orbs. That sent shivers to my spine.

"Is it because of that jerk, Sasuke? Tell me!" He said, his voice raised a bit.

Luckily for me, the waiter came with his ramen. He put the big bowl on top of the table then left.

"Uhm.. There's your ramen, Naruto." I said with a nervous smile. He looked at me before taking his chopsticks and began to eat. When he finished his second bowl, he ordered another.

"Sometimes they think I'm dumb, stupid, and a trouble maker. Even you think that I am stupid but I really don't care. I doesn't matter what other people think of me but even though you see me as a stupid person, Sakura I'm not numb. I'm not blind and I see that you have a problem. It's not good to keep your problems in your heart and solve it by yourself because sooner or later you will explode and you will only feel more hurt and disappointed about yourself." He said. His voice was soft which, I thought, was unusual. Was he really Naruto? He was so serious. I looked at him for a while then stared at the table. We were silent for some minutes. I sighed deeply before speaking.

"You know that.. Gaara left me and up to now, I'm still waiting for his return. Then here comes Mr. Sad and Loveless, and tells me that he really loves me from the bottom of his heart from the start but was just afraid to tell me." I said followed by another sigh.

"And that Mr. Sad and Loveless is Sasuke, right?" He asked. I looked straight at his deep blue eyes then nodded. I heard him sigh.

"I really don't know Gaara and Sasuke so much but Gaara made you happy so I think he has a nice side but then I also think that he's a bad guy because he left my Sakura and made her cry so much." He paused. "While that Uchiha star.. I think he's really stupid for not telling you the truth. He's really nasty and good for nothing and show-off and I really hate him because you like him but maybe he's also nice if you'll only get to know him."

There was a long pause.

"You know that I like you so much and I've been waiting for you to notice my feelings but then you wouldn't. I've waited and waited and waited until I got tired and thought that maybe you aren't meant for me and it would be nice if I open my heart again and so I did. Maybe someday, the right one will come." He looked at me. "But that is my case, yours is different. You are waiting for Gaara even if it takes forever because you love him. But maybe Sasuke is also right.."

"You mean you..?" I interrupted him.

"Yes. I heard you talking with each other. What if you are only waiting for nothing? Why don't you try opening your heart again? Why don't you let him.. Love you?" He said.

I clenched my fists. Tears blinded my eyes.

"But what if he, too, leaves me? Naruto, I don't want to be hurt again. I want to be loved forever.." I said.

"How will you know if you won't take risks? Besides, no relationship becomes a happy ending if there are no problems or you won't feel hurt. Problems strengthen relationships. No matter how hard the challenges are, you should always stick together and once both of you are strong, nothing will be able to break you apart." Naruto answered with a smile.

"Yeah.. Maybe you're right, Naruto. Maybe I should take a risk.." I whispered. "Maybe I should try loving Sasuke."

The waiter arrived with Naruto's new bowl of miso ramen. I waited for him to touch his chopsticks but he didn't. He was only looking at me with so much sincerity deep within those sapphire orbs of his.

"Don't be afraid to move on, Sakura. But.." He paused. "The answer is still within you, locked in the deepest part of your heart. It's up to you how to unlock that mystery. Just listen to yourself and only to yourself. Follow your heart and you will find true happiness."

I was amazed of what he said. I can't believe that he is Naruto. The clumsy, noisy Naruto that I know. The stu-- no. Yes, I admit that I've thought of him as a stupid, dumb person but after that conversation, that thought about him changed. I knew that he was a deep, smart person.

-----

I went to the super market one Saturday afternoon. There were only a few people by that time. After I bought all that I need, I headed back to my apartment. As I was walking, I passed the park. I decided not to go there for it would only bring back memories that I wouldn't want to remember but then I spotted someone. It wasn't Gaara but Sasuke and he looked so lonely. I decided to go and talk to him.

"Hey Sasuke.." I said. I sat on the swing beside him, the one where I usually sit. He didn't greet me back.

"No shooting for now?" I asked. Trying to start a nice conversation. "You've been away from school for almost four days and you missed a lot of activities."

"That's my life." He finally answered while staring at the ground. Was he really talking to me? He looked more interested to the grassy ground than me. I sighed.

"Don't you even get tired of doing the same things? You know the shooting, attending the awards night, signing your posters, the pictorials, and not to mention running away from your fans." I said. "..Like me."

He looked at me all of a sudden. "What do you mean?"

I really mean it that way. Those are the things T. V. icons usually do, right? But then when I thought deeper, I knew what he meant by that question. That thing I said about 'running away from fans like me' might have caught his attention.

"Sasuke, were you really gone for almost four days because you were.. Avoiding me?" I asked.

He looked at the setting sun. He then shook his head in reply.

"Oh.. Okay." That was the only thing I could say then after that, there was a long silence.

"H-How did your shooting go?" I finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Fine."

"When will we see your new commercial?" I asked again. I sounded like a T. V. reporter, interviewing the famous star, Uchiha Sasuke.

"I don't care." He answered.

I wouldn't be surprised if he'd answer me that way. My questions are senseless. I've already told you, I'm not a conversationalist.

"Do you have an upcoming movie?" There I was again with my senseless questions.

He shook his head. I grew tired of him and his answers that I spitted on him the words:

"You know what Sasuke, talking with you is almost as good as talking to the wall or a rock. You wouldn't even answer me nicely or talk to me about anything." I paused. "And here I am, looking like a stupid person talking to a rock! Here I am, trying to open my heart but.. Y-You wouldn't open yours!"

He looked really puzzled. "What?"

I lowered my voice. "Sasuke, I'm trying to get to know you but you wouldn't let me. Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong with me. It is you. What's with your sudden change?" He angrily said.

"Look, I just want to know you better.." I answered with my gentle voice. "Maybe it's time to open my heart again. To stop living in the past and face my present. Maybe.. it's time to love again."

"And who the hell told you that?"

"It was Naruto's advice. He told me that I should take risks in life if I really want to be happy." I told him with a small smile.

"That dunce.." I heard him mutter under his breath. "I didn't know that he has a brain to give an advice. Maybe he read about it in some book. No, I doubt he did because he doesn't even know how to read."

I chuckled. "But he really did told me that! I was even surprised seeing him so serious like he isn't Naruto at all but a psychologist in a Naruto costume!" I laughed more.

"I know. I can't imagine that stupid Uzumaki looking so serious." He said with a small smile. "But then thanks to him for making you realize that you got to stop living in the past. That Gaara isn't everything.."

My heart suddenly saddened but I knew that life must go on. Face new challenges and in the end, I will find true happiness.

"I know.." I said. There was a long pause.

"Sakura, where did you learn about everything? You know what I mean." He finally said. My eyes widened. I wasn't prepared for that question. What must I tell him?

"I.. Uhm.. Somebody.. I.." I didn't know what to say.

"You found my journal." He cut me. I knew there was no use if I would deny it. He knew the truth from the start so I nodded. He spoke again, "Where did you found it?"

"I-In my locker and there was a note with it.. But the sender's name wasn't there."

"Itachi.." He snarled. "Itachi sent it to you.. But why, why?!"

I touched his shoulder. "I-It doesn't matter.. I already know the truth, anyway." I gave him a comforting smile. "Why don't we try to find happiness? Forget about your brother who knows nothing but make your life a living hell.. A-And I'll stop living in the past. So, what do you say?"

His frown turned into a smile, a beautiful, genuine smile. "Are you sure?"

"Can I still be your princess?"

"You've always been my princess." He stood up from the swing and carried the grocery bags with one hand. He stretched his other arm saying, "Shall we?"

I grinned. I took his hand then answered, "With pleasure."

He then walked me to my apartment.

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I hate this chapter (And I know you do..) but please, please forgive me for I really have to do it. Thanks for understanding me.. Anyway, here's a preview of the next chapter:

Sakura is now happy with Sasuke but then old, painfully sweet memories came flooding back in her mind when Gaara comes back..

Thanks for reading and PLEASE review..