15. THE GREY LADY

Characters herein belong to J.K. Rowling and Matt Groening

Willy opened the doors of the Great Hall. The room was mostly

empty; he walked into the huge,grand room,the mop and bucket in

tow. It squeaked as he pulled it along. As he did,a woman floated

through the bucket of water,having first passed through the floor.

Willy glanced at her,not caring that she was a ghost. She had

neither been young nor old,though her hair was grey.

She floated in Willy's wake; she didn't talk,she only watched him.

Then someone said,"I see you've attracted the Grey Lady."

There was no one in front of him. He looked back,but saw no one

behind the woman. When he turned back,a tiny man was clambering

onto one of the tables. He wore dark robes,and tiny shoes that

would have fit a baby. He grinned at Willy. "Professor Filius

Flitwick," he said,extending his tiny hand.

"Glad ta meet ya," Willy said,shaking Flitwick's hand.

"You've caused quite a stir,so far," he said. His voice was kind of

squeaky,but not annoyingly so.

Willy sat down at the table. "Ah dinna mean to disrupt anythin'."

"No permanent harm done," Flitwick said. "You'll be fine."

The Grey Lady smiled at Willy.

"Dontcha talk?"

She shook her head. Then she opened her mouth and showed Willy why.

"Gaaaaah." He turned to Flitwick. "What happened to her?"

"Somebody pulled out her tongue with a meathook," said Flitwick.

Willy looked back at the ghost.

"You tell him that?"

The Grey Lady rolled her eyes.

Flitwick groaned.

"What do yeu teach?" Willy asked.

"I'm the Charms professor," Flitwick said. "And head of Ravenclaw-"

"What are you telling him,Flitwick?"

Willy recognized the voice.

Professor Sprout glared at him.

Flitwick didn't turn around. "Just introducing myself,Addie."

She rolled up her sleeves. Her arms were heavily bandaged.

"Tree did a number on yah," Willy said.

"I'm going to keep both eyes on you," she said. she nodded

at Flitwick-"Filius," and left the hall.

"Yeesh," said Willy.

"Professor Sprout's the Herbology teacher,head of Hufflepuff House. Usually,she's the nicest woman you'd ever want to meet. See,when

you came here,our exchange-did you meet Hagrid?"

"Nah,didn't meet 'im."

"She and Hagrid are lovers."

"Great," Willy said.

He continued on his way up to the front. Flitwick walked alongside

him on the table. Someone got up from the teachers' table,and headed

towards them. Willy tried to make sense of the man.

He felt as if he were suddenly inside the Troy McClure video MOMMY,

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT MAN'S FACE?

The guy's face was heavily scarred and a piece of his nose was

missing. Not to mention his wooden leg. He didn't seem to be aware

of any of them,not even...that eye.

"You seen Albus,Flitwick?" he asked. His voice was rough as gravel,

but somehow friendly in a wary way.

"He went up to his office,I think. Have you met Willy,Alastor?

Willy,this is Professor Moody."

"Scotsman?" Moody asked.

"Aye," Willy said.

One corner of Moody's mouth curled upwards into a feral smile.

"You're not Hagrid," said Moody,"but you'll do." With a slight

bow towards the Grey Lady,and a "Ma'am," he left.