Okage Densetsu - Lookit the Fancy Japanese
Chapter 2 - A Curse, A Plague
"My poor, poor granddaughter!" Grandpa wailed from his corner.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, that's right, dear…"
"My precious little darling, oh, poor Annie!" Dad wept, wiping off his glasses on his shirt.
"My little princess, oh, poor thing…" Mom was the one closest to the bedridden girl.
"Poor whatever- what's WRONG with her?"
"Ari… Your sister… Your sister…" Dad sniffled, "Oh, she's been shunned as incurable! It's terrible!"
"Right, and WHAT about her is incurable again?"
"…ay…" A faint whisper floated from the bedridden girl's mouth, as she slowly slid her eyes open, "Hatway appenedhay…?"
"Woooah!" Ari was instantly by her bed, "Cool, do it again!"
"….! Rotherbay! Iay may alkingtay eirdlyway!"
"It's the pig latin curse!" Mom sobbed into her hands, "Now she'll never grow up to be a pretty, pretty princess! She'll be… be… comic relief for the rest of her life!"
"Pig latin, the terrible affliction where the victim takes the first letter of his words and adds them to an end with an 'ay!' Ah, but I can remember pretending to be cursed when I was little…" Grandpa sighed, "I'd spout things like 'Oodgay orningmay'…"
"Same here, Father," Dad let out a sigh, "Those were great times…"
"Osay… Ittlelay Nnieay siay oinggay otay ebay omiccay eliefray? Ehehehe…"
"Ommay! Akemay Riay topsay!"
"Dear, be NICE to your sister! Can you imagine the horrors she's already gone through, and the dismal future she has to look forward to! My poor baby… Wah!" Mom went all out, her face buried in her hands.
"It's not like she's going to DIE from it…"
"Tupidsay rotherbay!"
"Ah, but wait!" Dad suddenly stepped into the conversation, grinning one of those grins that told you a man was up to something, "I think I know how to cure her!"
"Really? How is it done?" Almost everyone in the room asked, excluding Grandma who went off on her usual tangent of 'Yes dears', and Annie who helplessly spouted out the sentence in pig-latin.
"Come on, everybody who's well should come to the basement!" Dad led the family team (except for Annie who decided it was probably best to stay put, less some of her peers were spying as this condition would be the talk of the town FOREVER) to the creaky, dusty, although rather small basement. This room was usually filled with Dad's tacky antiques, but now it was all shoved up against the walls. The floor now had a magical ideogram drawn on it in metallic gold ink, the ugly purple bottle from upstairs in the center of the magical circle.
"Oh honey, you drew on the floors! That'll take forever to clean!" Mom looked rather pissed, "And you used my good metallic pen! Shame on you!"
"Sorry, dear, but it was the closest thing I could find to real ink made from real gold. But you see, family, this is a magic ideogram!"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, that's right dear?"
"Yes, you took the words out of my mouth, Grandma: What is it suppose to do, Dad?" Ari stared at the bottle, not at all noticing the symbols written on the floors. Something about it just bothered him, as if the bottle itself was somehow mocking him.
"Simple! It's a summoning circle! You see, this bottle- yes! I have relatively good reason to believe it is the magical bottle, oh… 'Pollock's Bottle!' It has the power to change fates- if we summon the spirit within, it will probably grant us a wish or two!"
"Pollock? But Dad, that's a species of fish native to-"
"Oh! So this is how we can set our dear daughter back to rights! I forgive you dear… for the moment."
"Eh…heh… Well, everyone get together and join hands, and let's do this thang! I've always wanted to say that…"
After everyone got situated around the circle, all holding hands (excluding Dad who was at the head of the ideogram, ready to spew out an incantation of sorts) they awaited the magic that surely came next.
"Oh, spirit, powerful and great," Dad did his best at sounding bold, at the same time doing a really stupid dance that probably had no real purpose, "With power to determine fate! We beg of you to show your face, and bestow upon us your eternal grace! I believe that's how it goes…"
Stepping off to the side, Dad, along with everyone else, waited breathlessly.
Suddenly, the circle lit up brilliantly!
"Oh!" The light cleared, and everyone found themselves face-to-face with a bizarre looking ghost dressed in a VERY fancy blue tuxedo, "Very good to meet all of you!"
"Eh?" Everyone tilted their heads in unison.
"I am an Evil Butler. My name is James! I am here to introduce my lord and master, the great and terrifying epitome of evil itself! The pure vision of malevolence and badness!"
"…Malevolence?" Mom looked at Dad with an eyebrow raised.
"Badness?"
"InDEED!" A voice suddenly boomed out from the bottle, which promptly began bouncing of it's own accord, "Brilliant introduction, James, but now you will all know the name of the evil which now plagues you: Evil King Stanley Hihat Trinidad XIV! That's right! Fear that name!"
"Uh…right… King Stanley Hih-"
"For now, since I am in a good mood, you all can call me King Stan. Continue, mortal!"
"Right, King Stan… we called you to cure our poor daughter who is dying of a ghost's curse!"
"…But she's not exactly dying." Ari added in, quietly.
"Please, with your awesome powers this task must be a cakewalk for you!"
"I am not much for favors… but it would be a good chance to test what powers I have left…"
"Yes!" James nodded slightly, "A splendid time!"
"Thank you, James. Anyhow, in order to use my powers… you must make an evil deal with me."
"Evil?" Dad rubbed his chin, then glanced at the rest of the family. "Yes, if it is to save my baby's life-"
"Who ISN'T exactly dying-"
"Quiet, son. If it must be done… I will sell my soul! I will sell it ten times over to the devil!"
"Me too!" Mom gave a heroic step forward to the bottle.
"Same here!" Grandpa waved a fist in the air proudly.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, that's right, dear!"
"Very good!" James seemed to be as happy as a ghost could be, "But first let's make sure you all know the basics. Mi'lord here is the incarnation of the Great Evil King Gohma, who ravaged terror upon the world until he was defeated by the, of course much, much more inferior hero Hopkins. You are to be terrified of him AND follow his services like good scared humans."
"Right, James! I've been stuck in this bottle for three-hundred years by some unspeakable error…"
"Unspeakable! To have his Majesty grace us with his presence, he needs to harbor in a living human's shadow!"
"I'd gladly give mine for my darling little girl!" Both Mom AND Dad spoke at the same time, standing tall.
"Oh, how splendid, easily corrupted humans already! Oh, but as it is His Majesty inhabiting it, the shadow MUST be in perfect condition! So, to start us out, we must have a contest of shadows. Everyone line up by height and we'll start the casting!"
The family all did as told, lining up by height near the side of the room. The Evil Butler, James, proceeded by conjuring up what he called a 'casting' circle, and brought in two ghosts as judges, causing the first-ever shadow-casting contest to begin. Everyone took turns standing in the casting circle and were rated- nobody got very high, until…
"Hm! I almost overlooked the son of this family. You come on up next, okay?"
"Uh… okay…" Ari very carefully stepped into the glowing green circle. It immediately sent a chill up his spine, but he tried to stand as still as he could. The ghost-judges barely took a look, when…
"Boo!"
"Kekekeke!"
"Oh! OH! The judges are stunned! They've never seen a more perfect shadow in their afterlives! Nothing but good marks, how brilliant! This means… The son, Ari is the lucky winner of the contest! Congratulations!" James nearly danced, he was so happy, "Everyone give the winner a round of applause!"
"Way to go Ari!" Mom was clapping and grinning from ear-to-ear.
"That's my son, you sure showed them! Hah!"
"What a brave boy, my Grandson, winning the casting contest!"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, that's right, dear."
Somehow, through the cheering, Ari could not help but totally NOT share the feelings of glee. He just now stopped to wonder what he got himself into, not paying attention to the fact the bottle was placed closer to him. What in the world could be in store from here? "I don't thin- AAIGH!"
He promptly fell over as a burst of black energy rose up around him- a tall, dark figure was standing behind him, yellow eyes glowing demonically. The evil king laughed, "Haha! A perfect fit! Now gaze in horror at the beautifully demonic creature before you, mortals!"
Everyone stared in silence, probably taking it all in.
Ari slowly sat up, looking over his shoulder, "Gaze in ho- … Y… You've…"
"Yes, even YOU'RE afraid!"
"Afraid? …" He didn't dare say what was on his mind, for rising up behind him was what could be described as the flattest black pancake, looking as if it came from a cookie-cutter, with a simple, stupid face plastered on it- his shadow, indeed, was literally standing up behind him and for all it was worth, it looked, to Ari, absolutely and totally stupid. He had to bite his tongue to hold back laughter, forgetting the seriousness of the moment, "Yeah… Terrified!"
"Wonderful! Now bring me to the afflicted one…"
After having led the entire family back to Annie's room, and after the so-called Evil King Stanley healed her, the family awaited to see the results. Annie simply hopped out of bed and exclaimed, "Think I can talk yet?"
"Oh, you can, how wonderful!" Mom was overjoyed- her visions of pretty princess Annie could now resume- "Thank the heavens!"
"No, thank ME!" Stan crossed his arms, frowning a bit.
"Right, thank you, Stan," Dad smiled, "But… uh… Annie… I think something happened to your shadow. That sure isn't the healthy color for one…"
"Huh? What?" Annie looked under her feet, then let out a shriek! "PINK!"
"WOAH! AWESOME!" Ari's eyes lit up, "It's fluorescent!"
"You stupid stupid shadow, what'd you do?"
"Quiet down, pipsqueak! I'd said I'd cure you, but I never said I wouldn't turn your shadow pink. Though it was a mistake, you'll have to put up with it. Hrhrhr!"
"Ooooh, now I'll never get married!"
So the chaos continued well on into midnight… and everyone was glad to get to his or her own bed. However, one didn't stay there for long.
In his dreams, Ari found himself surrounded by an eternal darkness. Though he would call, his voice was silent. Heading in any direction just lead into more darkness, a silent fear creeping up into him. Pausing to catch his breath, the last thing he saw were two glowing eyes.
"Ungh!" Falling out of his bed, Ari made a nice 'thud' as he connected with the floor.
"Dear? Are you okay?" Mom was outside of his room, just having knocked on his door to wake him up.
"Yeah..."
"Good. It's morning, and I expect you to go out and get some sunshine!"
"Okay, Mom." Ari threw his bed's covers messily back on, thinking this had to be the second time in a row he'd been awakened at a decent hour. No matter, though, Mom's awakenings were way more better than Dad's hearty laughes. Heading downstairs, Ari waltzed right out the front door, silently wishing that everything that happened the night before was a dream.
"Yes... It was all a dream... none of it happened... hrhrhr..."
Before Ari could respond with a classic shocked jump, his now-possessed shadow popped up in front of him. Landing hard on his rear end, Ari could only say what so many would: "Ow!"
"Hahaha! Face it- this is nothing but reality! From now on you're my slave and servant, Slave."
"Nice to meet you too, Stan."
"That's KING STAN or HIS MAJESTY to you, boy! You'll regret it if you call me otherwise!"
"Yeah. Whatever. What do I have to do to make you go-"
"Whatever your saying isn't as important as me." Stan puffed out his 2-d chest slightly, smiling deviously, "Now, Slave... I believe it is time for you to introduce me to the locals so they know just what kind of evil has inhabited their lands!"
"Brilliant idea, sir!" James suddenly appeared off to the side, "I'm sure they'll all scream like little schoolgirls and succumb to your evil powers! Are we, then, planning a conquest this morning?"
"It is a bit early for conquest, James, but it IS a good idea..."
"Breakfast first, Sir?"
"James... We never have time for breakfast."
"Oh... but let me tell you: the omelettes served here are splendid! Truly!"
"Yeah, Mom makes pretty good breakfast."
"Shut up! I didn't say you could speak, Slave! Come, let's go terrify innocent people! Hahahaha!"
"I'll be right with you sir... right after my omelette!" James rubbed his hands together, simply walking through the outside wall of Ari's house, no doubt anticipating devouring what was intended to be Ari's breakfast.
Meanwhile, our hero just sighed, and headed down the path to the main road. Turning onto and heading down the road to Tenel, Ari was busily wondering what he did in his past life to deserve something like this. He paused for a moment, catching a glimpse of his shadow- "...Where'd he go?"
"Oh? Me? Hahaha, stupid slave." Stan's voice rang out from behind him, "I don't always stand upright, you know. It's tiresome. I'll make an appearance after you introduce me to one of your mortal friends."
"Just one of those- ..." Ari's eyes locked onto the brown-haired girl from the day before. She was staring off into the woods, right where he had left her the previous night, a clear fluid steadily dripping off the side of her face. "Uh, are you okay?"
"..." She continued to stand there, not moving a bit.
Walking up to her, Ari found she was asleep, standing up. "Hey! Wake up!"
"Huh?" Her eyes fluttered open, "Where is the crayon box? Should be on the second... shelf..."
"Have you been out here all night? Are you okay?"
"Me? Oh." She paused, thinking on the subject. Then she nodded, "I'm adjusted."
"Uh... great..."
"Introduce me, Slave." An impatient cough was added.
"Oh. Ehmm... My buddy here wants you to meet him."
"Buddy? I'll buddy you, smart alec!" Stan suddenly popped up, "You'll need to be taught proper introductions, Slave!"
The girl stared up at Stan, eyes searching over him. Then she looked back at Ari, and said, quietly: "There's a suspicious silouette behind you."
"Yes, I know. This is King Stan."
"The one and only! Tremble in terror, mortal!"
"..." The girl stared for a good long time. "You remind me of a story..."
"Eh?"
"...Was called... Boku to maou... had an evil king... who terrorized the world... was defeated... locked in a bottle... funny story..." She slowly ground to a halt as far as her talking went, staring off into the distance with a faded look to her eyes.
"What in the?" Ari blinked, "Hello?"
"Wait wait wait a minute! You, mortal, you clearly know who I am! Why aren't you terrified?"
"...who?"
"YOU!"
"Me?"
"YES YOU!"
"I'm Corona."
"What?" Both Ari and Stan blinked at the random announcement.
"My name. Corona. It's the light you see around a lunar eclipse... kind've pretty to name your daughter that... I wish -I- was named Corona..." She tilted her head, staring directly at Ari's forehead, "That's the light you see around a-"
"Yes! Yes! We get it!" Stan suddenly whispered to Ari, "This one is utterly suspicious. She knows who I am yet isn't afraid of me. Perhaps you should investigate further for me."
"Why me?"
"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
"Said so what?" Corona blinked, totally taken off-gaurd, "I'll do it! I'll be good! Don't hurt me!"
"Do it, eh?" Stan slowly grew a smirk, no doubt an idea growing in his head, "Ah hah! She is clearly already submitted to my evils! She's awaiting to join my evil army!"
"Stan, I don't think-"
"Well, young mortal, are you prepared for eternal loyalty, pain, and suffering in the name of your King?"
"Don't answer that, Corona, it's n-"
"Sure... Sounds like fun. Do we get homework in that class?"
"That must be some kind of code... but clearly her loyalties lie in me! Hah! Alright, mortal, you probably already know me by my full title. I am, indeed, Evil King Stanley Hihat Trinidad XIV. Now! To set an example for my absent-minded slave here, why don't you introduce me?"
"Okay." Corona nodded, then rose her hand to her mouth, suddenly calling: "Introducing... the King... Stanley Hihat Trinidad the fourteenth!"
"Very good! Now, all we need to correct is your pronounciation of XIV."
"Stan," Ari grumbled, "XIV and fourteen are the same thing."
"Quiet, you, I'm instructing my new slave."
"XIV is pronounced 14." Corona drooled lethargically, which dripped from her mouth down her dark blue shirt.
"No no, fourteen is pronounced 14. XIV is pronounced XIV."
"XIV is pronounced fourteen?"
"No no no! Fourteen is pronounced 14, and XIV is pronounced fourteen!"
"If XIV is pronounced fourteen, and fourteen is pronounced 14, isn't XIV also pronounced 14?"
"NO! There's a massive amount of difference here! You know what, just forget it. Replace all your fourteens and 14s with XIV, got it?"
She nodded, "I shall replace all my XIVs and XIVs with XIV."
"No, fourteen and 14."
"XIV and 14?"
"Replace 14 with XIV. Also replace fourteen with XIV."
"XIV?"
"XIV."
"Guys!" Ari was holding his head by now, the poor thing pounding, "Isn't XIV pronounced ecks-eye-vee?"
"...Slave Corona, hit him."
"No! No hitting the nice guy." She patted his head, "Nice guy."
"Ugh, even this one will take some work. Alright, slaves, bring me to the rest of the victims in this area."
"Fine..." Ari sighed. "Come on, Corona. Don't drool your brain out. That's assuming you have one."
"It is located in this general area." She drew a circle in the air in the general area of her head. "It's still on layaway, actually. The bills were steep and I needed... training wheels... and..."
"It's like she falls asleep in the middle of- ugh." Ari simply wrapped an arm around hers and dragged her off, heading for town, fighting off a headache the entire trip. "There better be something good for me in all of this, otherwise I quit right now!"
"There is a door..."
"What?" He noticed Corona became re-animated halfway there, slightly startled by her sudden words...
"A door... differnent for everyone... and this door is labeled... 'This is not an exit.'"
"...Next time you talk, try to say something useful. In fact, it's probably wisest if you didn't say anything unless it was useful."
"Useful like... look out for that tree?"
SMACK! "...Yes...t-things like that. Ow..."
By the time they had actually gotten through the gates, Corona had drooled about a quart of fluid and Ari had run into a total of four trees while mistakeningly trying to pay attention to the random things she said. After this, he resolved, he'd never listen to a word anyone said ever again unless it involved preventing him from pride-crippling self injury. Of course, he didn't get a single break at Tenel, since Stan had other ideas.
"Alright, now according to my predictions, as soon as the townspeople get a glimpse of me they should either flee in terror or kneel before me in fright! Haha! Come, let us see what these half-brained creatures do when they realize just who I am!"
"Stan, I should just warn you: Dad works as assistant to the mayor. He's probably already said MANY things about you-"
"Then this should be easy!"
"-that you may not find... oh... flattering."
"Eh? You mean he dares insult me?"
"They're not exactly insults, but I have a feeling..."
"Cool!" A little boy wandered up, staring up at Stan.
"AHAHA! Our first victim! Watch as he bursts into tears and runs home for his mommy!"
"AWESOME! Ari! Ari! Where did you learn that funny trick with your shadow?"
Before he could respond, a rather upset Stan shouted, "What do you mean, 'trick'? You should be wetting your pants by now, mortal!"
"COOL! It tells jokes, too!"
"And it is a kingly shadow..." Corona patted the boy on the head, "A very friendly, loving kingly shadow."
"NO! What happened to the talk we just had about introductions?"
"We... talked about... XIV... and XIV... did anicent doctors call... IVs fours?"
"...Whatever. Slaves! Find me someone with half the sense to be terrified of me!"
"Really, Stan, I don't think- mmm, maybe, Corona, can you pick somebody for us to talk to?" Hopefully, Ari thought, this wouldn't short-circuit her brain, but perhaps jumpstart it and get it working in the proper way- sort've like hitting something to get it running. "Go ahead, pick anyone."
"Okay, uhmm..." Her hand suddenly extended, finger pointing, straight at Random Villager A as he jokingly called himself. Lethargically dragging herself over, Corona felt as this was the time to introduce her King: 'Now presenting… King… Stanley Hihat Trinidad XIV…!"
"Huh?"
"Wonderful, Corona!" Stan suddenly made an appearance, "The wise human who hears that name would beg for their lives! BWAHAHA!"
"Wow! So you really CAN stretch your shadow out in weird shapes, Ari!" Random Villager looked excited, "Is it as friendly as your Dad said it was?"
"What is WITH these idiots?"
"Stan, I have reason to believe my Dad has described you in what's called a 'kawaii' fashion. You've been stereotyped as cute."
"Oh, but he is cute…" Corona nodded.
"UGH! Why! WHY? My predictions were that as soon as I would appear the humans would tremble before me! Yet they mock and tease me like some low-class demon! That's it, it's time to show these humans exactly how terrifyingly evil I am! SLAVE! Gather information so I can pinpoint the place to strike!"
"Yes sir, right away sir."
"Good response. Add a little more bounce to it next time."
"Yes sir…" Ari sighed, looking around. There was usually Scared Guy running about this time of the day, scared about something or another, whether it was about killer moths or wet bars of soap one could slip on. Surely even HE would be afraid of Stan, which would then make the day a hell of a lot easier. "Hey, hello!"
"Oh, hello Ari," The Scared Guy trembled, "There's spooky things going on lately!"
"AH HAH!" Stan appeared with a renewed sense of power, "Finally, a WISE human! Scream for your mother! Pee your pants! Bwahahaha!"
"Wow, Ari, you could get into the circus with that trick."
"WHAT IN THE? HEY! BE AFRAID OF ME!"
"Eh heh… don't mind the shadow. What's spooky?"
"There are… are… GHOSTS in the church!"
"You're afraid of lower class demons but totally NOT afraid of me? WHY?"
"Hahah! Trying to make me feel better, Ari? Say! Who's your pretty friend there?"
"Pretty?" Ari glanced at Corona, who was moving her eyes and head around as if she were watching something, "You mean her? That's Corona. What ARE you doing?"
"You know the little colors you see in your eyes sometimes? I'm totally trippin' on them right now…"
"Haha! She's funny too! You could start a comedy routine! Oh, but those ghosts are still there! Brrr! They must be after the treasure deep inside the church!"
"Treasure, eh?" Stan thought a moment, then motioned for Ari to speak to him privately. After the two were turned around, the Evil King smirked, "Now we have enough information. We will go to the church, convert the demons into joining my legions, and we will STEAL the treasure, which, no doubt, must be priceless! Then they will all cry and depression will sweep across the town, at which point I will take everything out! BWAHAHA! Brilliant!"
"Dude! No way!"
"WHAT? You DARE defy me?"
"…Uh, actually, I was saying… no way as in… 'No way! Get out! That's so awesomely bad, Stan!'"
"…Oh. You young ones and the lingo…"
"So to the church to make men cry?" Corona was still tracking down spots.
"Yes… yes, to the church! Bwahahah!"
