21. MOODY AND SNAPE

"Anthrax Ripple," Professor Moody said,with a genuine smile. It

was as if Albus had changed the password just for him. There wasn't

a wizard alive who wasn't at least aware of Monty Python's Flying

Circus; there were wizard comedy troupes,but none of them came

close to the Pythons. After the events of last year, Dumbledore had

immersed him in art and culture and beauty. It wasn't easy,because

what he had been through had left him severely traumatized. He had

been robbed of his identity,his dignity. Losing a leg had been a

cakewalk compared to what that Barty Crouch kid had done to him.

He came close to giving up and eating his wand. Fortunately,Albus

Dumbledore was a patient man. One day,he came into the room-Moody

was recovering at Hogwarts-with some videotapes; there was already

a muggle television in the room, as well as a stereo system for

music and an enchanted bookshelf that contained anything Moody

wished to read. He had been reading the works of various

philosophers; Descartes, Hume(how Hume managed to get up in the

morning,he had no idea) Plato,even Machiavelli. When he was in the

mood for fiction there was Poe,Lovecraft,Joe R. Lansdale-Moody's

taste in fiction ran to the darker side of the imagination. Anyway,

Dumbledore came in,followed by several house-elves,all carrying

videos.

"I think you'll appreciate these," Dumbledore said,and left.

They turned out to be episodes of MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.

For days,Moody was frequently out of breath from laughing. All the

jokes he remembered were there,all the classic routines.

Particularly the sketch entitled "Crunchy Frog." It concerned c

hocolates with the worst fillings imaginable and it

was absolutely the funniest thing Moody had ever heard.

One day,he felt ready to move on,past the terrible events of last

year. He remembered waking up to the soft patter of rain; the sky

was the grayest he'd ever seen and then right before his eyes, a

dark waterspout formed in the lake. He opened the window,and the

wind-whipped rain battered his face. It felt wonderful. Alastor

Moody,scarred but unbroken, was back,baby.

The door to the Headmaster's office was already open.

Moody pulled out his wand.

Then he stepped into the room.

Thousands of separate,tiny sounds filled the air. After awhile,

you just didn't notice them. Particularly not the snoring coming

from the portraits on the walls.

Fawkes was there,placidly perched.

The bird did not look agitated.

He gave Moody a sharp look.

"Right back at ya," Moody said.

The room was huge. Dumbledore could be anywhere,even right beside

him,if he were invisible.

There were two envelopes on Albus's desk.

One of them was marked ALASTOR and the other was marked SEVERUS.

He found another one,empty,in the wastebasket.

This one read MINERVA.

Where was Professor McGonagall,anyway?

For that matter,where was Snape?

The wind whistled through the balcony door.

It swung towards the wall,and bounced.

A shadow fell across the floor.

Moody readied his wand.

The figure backed out of the doorway,clad in black from head to

toe. It was obviously Severus Snape; the hair gave him away.

"Professor Snape," Moody said. "What brings you here?"

Snape turned. Any other man would have spun around on their heel.

(If we took the bones out,it wouldn't be crunchy,would it?)

"I could ask you the same," he said,adding "Professor Moody,"

almost as an afterthought.

"Looking for the Headmaster," Moody said.

Snape looked from Moody to the desk and back again.

"I don't think you'll find him in there."

"You never know," Moody said.

Snape opened his mouth,and then closed it.

Finally,he said,"I thought I heard him," Snape said. "A moment

ago."

"He left you a letter," Moody said. He held it out to Snape.

Snape swept it out of Moody's grasp.

He went back out to the balcony.

Taking his letter,Moody followed him. The balcony overlooked the

lake; he could see someone indiscriminate playing with the giant

squid.

"Does that squid have a name?"

"What?" Snape asked,raising his eyebrows.

"The squid in the lake," Moody said. "What's it's name? Is it a boy

squid or a girl squid?"

"How should I know?" Snape asked,irritated."Aren't you going to read your letter?"

"What does yours say?"

Snape gave him a look that would have melted steel.

"Humph," Moody said,and went back into the office.

Fawkes was nowhere to be found.

"That bleeding bird," Moody said.