Okage Densetsu - Lookit the Fancy Japanese

Chapter 3 -

"Heh. Heh. That's funny..."

"What is?" Ari sighed, turning away from the church door that was locked. Corona had reanimated again and was amused about something, and though he knew it probably wasn't smart to encourage her, he had to reply.

"This... It's a church..."

"What's so funny about a church?"

"It's completely pathetic and worthless?" Stan chuckled darkly.

"No... There's a church in Chantal... who do we worship?"

"..." This question hit the side of Ari's head like a hearty slap, "...Now that you mention it..."

"They should be worshipping ME! Bowing before me for mercy... which I do not give! BWAHAHAHA!"

"...perhaps the church is a symbol that is empty and white... the blank peice of paper that reads 'this is not to be read by federal law'... now you've gotta go to jail... heh heh... better pray at the church... but to who do we pray?"

"...Corona, you may be scattered, but you have a DAMN good point." Ari blinked, "I've never even thought of that before."

"For a nice sharp point use only Belladonna Sharpeners- now THAT'S sharp!" She suddenly slouched forward, entirely asleep.

"I don't know about that one, Slave," Stan whispered, "She may be mad, but there's a method to it."

"Method if you're INSANE..." Ari grumbled extremely quietly.

"And why are we not inside?"

"I need the key. It's been closed because of the ghosts. Corona, stay- ... I don't think I have to worry. Dad should have it, so we'll swing by the office." Ari headed for the next-door building, the mayor's office. Heading through the door, he paused to smile up at the nice secretary, Miss Secretary. "Hi, ma'am."

"Hello Ari! You look splendid today, as usual."

"Thanks, ma'am..."

"Who are you to compliment MY slave without MY permission?" Stan made sure he was VERY visible by waving an arm angrily in the air, "You act like he's some free person!"

"Oh! This must be that friendly shadow your father was talking about! Hello, Stanley, is that your name?"

"KING Stanley, and I'm NOT friendly!"

"Did somebody wake up on the wong side of teh bed?" Miss Secretary cooed like she was talking to a baby, "Does somebody need a nappie-poo?"

"NO! I am a firm believer that naps and 'nappie-blankets' are unnecessiary! They will all be burned when I take over!"

"Aww. Ari, you better get poor wittle Stanwey to a bed. Hehehe. Are you here to see your father?"

Before Stan could start screaming again, Ari simply nodded and hurried for the main desks, waiting for his Dad to turn around as the man was filing some papers.

"Oh yeah, mortal woman? You'll be the first to die slow and painfully! Just you wait! AND YOU!" A shadowy finger pointed straight at Dad, "Turn around and do my bidding, NOW!"

"Oh?" He looked over his shoulder, then grinned, "Hello, Stan!"

"What are these pitiful lies you've been spreading? Me, cute, FRIENDLY? What are you trying to do, DESTROY MY REPUTATION?"

"What reputation?" Ari raised an eyebrow, but went off entirely unnoticed by anybody.

"Haha! You're a real funny guy, Stan. Now, what 'bidding' am I to do for you, 'my lord'? Haha!"

"Give us the key to open the church." Stan grumbled, slowly sprouting a headache, "Do it fast and you'll go home unscathed."

"Hah, sure! I have it right here!" He slid it to Ari, "Glad to see my awesome son is visiting his totally cool Dad at work! You having a good day, son?"

"Good? I'm fucking possessed by a sh-"

"Good! You enjoy the rest of the day! Haha! And who's your pretty friend?"

"Huh? AAAH!" Ari jumped as he looked over his shoulder, finding Corona to be -right- there.

"Boys smell good."

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Ari snatched the key and pointed the sharp end at her, as if that was going to help his defense. He relaxed after her eyes glazed over and she began to drool, "Ugh... Dad, this is Corona. She's lost so I have to help her home. Or to a mental faculty."

"Already nabbing the women? Good job, Son! Don't let her go now, haha!"

"DAD! You're not even-"

"Have fun at the church, you guys. Should I mention you need to watch out for the ghosts?"

"Oh... we will watch out for them..." Stan laughed, "We'll keep our eyes peeled."

"That would hurt terribly..." Corona drooled onto the floor, instantly summoning Mister Janitor who cleaned the floor and promptly put a bucket in the general area of her drippings.

"...Come on, Corona. Let's go before I go insane." Ari picked up the bucket and pulled Corona along at the same time, figuring it was a good idea to try to keep the floor relatively spit-clean on the way out. However, by the time he got out, the bucket was halfway full. "Holy shit- how much do you HAVE in there?"

"Enough to-" She swallowed- "Fill six olympic-sized swimming pools a year."

"...Uggh..."

"Before that happens, we have a church to infiltrate, slaves!"

"Right." Ari set the bucket down and unlocked the door, then turned and headed back for the mayor's off-

"WAIT! Where are you going?"

"To bring back the key!"

"Why?"

"It's the right thing to do!"

"...Alright, Slave. I didn't think I'd have to explain this to you. Me. Evil. You. Slave. Slave of Me is Evil, too. Evil. Not Good. Good is not good. Evil is good. In a way. Evil is evil but evil in a-... Even you should know what I'm saying."

"Yes sir..." Ari sighed, pocketing the key, "Corona, let's... Where did she go?"

The church door stood wide open, signs of drool drippage running in the door. The bucket was gone as well. Ari followed along into the building, which was deathly silent. However, Corona was nowhere to be seen in any of the rows of benches or near the altar- but quick observations showed the trail of drying drool led through the door which headed down to the church's basement.

"Huh. That reminds me."

"Eh?"

"Oh, don't mind, Stan. Just... we've had a water shortage ever since the ghosts appeared here. I forgot the source to the town's water is down there."

"Who CARES?"

"Maybe -I- did..."

"You don't matter in this conversation. Keep walking."

Down the stairs, Ari noted that a wall fountain was as dry as dust- there was no Corona in this room, but the trail she left led into the back room of the church. Quickly following her footsteps, he opened the door and walked into the storage room. He noted that the pipe that was the town's water source ran through the middle of the room, but it sounded silent. Quickly, he looked around and caught glimpse of Corona, who was staring at the corner of the room, herself standing in the center. "Corona, you okay?"

"Ghosties in strawberry heaven can rest sweetly..."

"What?"

"Silence, slave! Can't you see she's luring out the ghosts for me?"

"Ghosties... spirits, tell me... the door... which reads 'not an exit'... where is it? Can it lead... us to the strawberry heaven... place of the unseen?"

A ghost -actually- appeared shortly after she spoke, looking slightly surprised. It was a bright orange color.

"Ahahah! There you are, lower-class demon! You probably already know of me and anticipated my arrivial, but just in case, I am your King Stanley Hihat Trinidad XIV! Now, no doubt you are prepared to join me, eh?"

"Boo?" It blinked, it's words(?) loosely translated becoming 'What in the hell? What a pathetic shadow.'

"Stan, I don't think it's working..."

"Hm, maybe different dialect. Bonjour... eh... uh... du fromage! Parlez le vous?"

"Stan... What in the HELL did you just say?"

"I -think- I just said 'Hello, my friend, will you join us'."

"Nope." Corona stood straight up, "You definately called him cheese."

"Boo..." Translated, that comes out like this: 'Mmm. Du fromage.'

"What else did I say?"

"Boo!" Translated, 'Dinner time!'

"No time. The fight is now." Corona suddenly picked up her... oddly, now-empty bucket, taking up what looked like a battle stance.

"Out of my way, slaves! You are inexperienced and will only get in my way!" Stan stretched himself upwards, growing bigger, seemingly entirely elastic. "But this is your only freebie! So watch and-"

Corona suddenly ran up to the ghost- CLANG! The sound of metal hitting something at least -slightly- solid was heard several times over, as Corona wailed on the poor level-one ghost with that bucket until it was killed dead. Jumping back into her previous position, she didn't pay attention as the battle ended as fast as it had started. "Corona to level fifty-two..."

"...Woah. That was cool." Ari looked stunned.

"...Woah. That was unexpected." Stan shared that same look. "...Slave, is she asleep again?"

"Yep. She's asleep." Rolling his eyes, Ari walked to the water pipe- climbing up on a handy crate, he turned it back on, satisfied with the sounds of water suddenly running down the pipe. Then he hopped down, but remembered what Stan had come for: the 'treasure.' "I suppose you'll want that treasure... now where- ah, here we go."

Walking to a chest, Ari pushed the lid open, reached in, then stood up with the object in his hands.

"Great! ... Unholy ravens. What IS that thing?"

"Looks like... a glass tube." Ari carefully turned the hollow, oddly-shaped glass object about, "Also looks like it fits into something."

"UGH! What a total waste of my time! Whatever- we have the treasure, now let us go to the villagers to watch them cry! Ahahaha!" Stan disappeared, apparentally content with himself at the moment, still laughing even though he wasn't there.

"...That bothers me..." Corona fired up again, "His voice continues yet he is not visible..."

"Same here. Come on, let's get up and out of this place."

However, much to Ari's surprise, when they got out of the church, there was a whole crowd- the entire village, it seemed, was there to meet them. They all looked directly at Ari, a few whispers running through the crowd. Instantly, Ari thought they were mocking him... whispering harsh words about that stupid shadow behind him, and he slowly felt as if his only escape was to spontaneously combust in front of everybody. However, he was interrupted in this action (which may or may not have happened, we are not sure) when a voice cried, "Good job, Ari!"

"Huh?"

"You got the water running again! Awesome! And did you get the ghosts?"

With a renewed sense of pride, Ari grinned, but then shook his head. "No, we have my friend, Corona, to thank for that."

Corona bowed forward politely, holding the empty bucket against her back. However, she never came up from that bow, having fallen asleep again.

"Great! Awesome job, guys!"

"Lavish your affections on -me-!" Stan suddenly appeared, "These are MY slaves, so therefore -I- did it all!"

"You didn't do ANYTHING!"

"YOU DARE SPEAK BACK TO M-" The angry king paused. He noticed every single eye was fixed on him, and before anybody could've breathed, he felt he had an opening. "Yes, mortals! You clearly understand the evil before you! Now, you will all either submit your souls to me or we'll have to get messy all over the good clean floors! Bwahahah!"

"..."

"That's right, think it over, mortals... there is only one true thing you can do: join me!"

"...Heh..."

"Huh?"

"Heh heh... Hehehe! HAHAHA!" Suddenly the entire village burst into laughter, excluding the voice of the girl standing to the very rear.

"Wait! ...W...Why are you laughing? You should be terrified!"

By now, even Ari was laughing, "Stan! Stop! You're digging a damn hole for your-"

He paused, catching glimpse of the brown eyes at the end of the crowd. A frown graced her features as she slowly turned, looking straight at Ari with a look of most terrible scorn. All the world went slient as she headed away, everything seemingly snapping back into motion when her eyes disconnected. Ari now stood there, silent, staring, wondering... what he had just seen in those eyes.

However, the world ignored him as it usually did, everyone around him laughing their rear ends off. And much to Stan's displeasure, the town of Tenel was full of merriment for a few good hours, and he remained hidden until the crowd died down. Upon noticing the only audience left was Corona and Ari, the king popped up, absolutely trembling in rage, "They laugh and mock me... though they should be afraid of me... Am I a failure? A weak, wishy-washy evil king? SLAVE ARI, REASSURE ME!"

"..."

"Slave?"

"..." Ari started walking mindlessly down to the central part of the small town, not noticing Corona was actually following him. He felt as if he was drifting across the ground, not walking, searching for some sort of understanding. He finally met his destination- the space then occupied in front of the creature 'Julia'. "Hey?"

"Oh? Oh. It's you." Her voice was flat, "Liked the attention back there? You did a really wonderful thing. Good for you."

"Why are you talking like that?"

"I won't mince the words. Ari... I've always supposed you and me were to marry when you got older. You are the kind of man who wouldn't complain waking up to a cold breakfast, and wouldn't get upset if I went on random shopping sprees. No, you would just watch from the corner, and then smile when I come talk to you. But there is this one thing..."

"..."

"...I cannot be friends with someone who plays tricks with his shadow. Good-bye." She turned and silently headed off for her house, the afternoon sun making her dress give off an almost pure aura.

"..." Ari stood still, absolutely stunned.

"...Nice guy?" Corona set down her bucket and walked to him, looking straight at his face with a look of genuine concern. "Are you okay?"

"..."

"... Nice guy..." Corona suddenly wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, "...She wasn't worth it if she would say those things to such a nice guy."

"...UGH! Enough! The emotions of care are literally dripping off the walls!" Stan shouted, but refused to appear, "I have such a headache- cut it out! I am weary... Slave Corona, bring this Slave back to his home so we can rest!"

"...But... two minutes?"

"NO! NOW!"

Corona let go of Ari, "Nice guy better?"

"A little..."

"Okay. Stanley-chan says it's time for bed. He needs some tylenol. Tylenol tricks the mind... into... thinking it doesn't... hurt..."

"..." Ari forgot about being sad and was again weirded out by Corona. "For a mintue there... she was acting like an almost normal person. What in the hell is wrong with her?"

"Maybe it is not what is wrong with her, but rather, what is more right."

"Eh?" Ari looked over his shoulder to see Random Villager A. "What do you mean?"

"...You know, I don't know! Hah, I shouldn't say things I don't understand. But for some reason, it felt like I had to say it. You ever feel like that, Ari?"

"Sometimes, but I just don't say anything."

"Wow... I can never get myself to stop. Anyhow, still got that shadow trick going?"

"Leave me alone..." Stan almost, almost sounded as if he was on the verge of tears. He again refused to appear.

"Haha! A depressed shadow? Man, you can throw that voice behind you even though that thing isn't up! That's awesome!"

"...Eh, yeah, it really wants to be let alone now, though. If I... er... use it too much it could wear out."

"Hey! I never thought of that!"

Ari rolled his eyes and headed for home, but bumped into Scared Guy who was trembling up a storm. "Excuse me."

"No problem, Ari! It's just... just... oh, it's terrible!"

"What is?"

"Suddenly, all over the land... Evil Kings have appeared!"

"WHAT?" Stan was there like lightning.

"It's terrible! Brr! A man at the bar was talking about it, and even had a map which had all the locations of them written on it! They say there's even one in Madril, our next-door neighbours!"

"WHAT IS THIS TRIPE?" Stan started spasming violently, "All these lies! I am mentally wounded, and now you heap another helping on the pile? I should just kill you right now!"

"Oooh, it looks kinda mad now, Ari. Hehe, did I make it upset?"

"UPSET! GRRR! SLAVE! FIND THE MORTAL WHO IS SPREADING THIS SLANDER!"

"Don't EXPLODE there, buddy. Off to the bar we go..." Ari sighed, and headed for the bar. He paused, backtracked, grabbed Corona, and then -really- headed there.