As much as it hurt, I dried my tears before Mario saw me, and soon it was my turn to get off the bus. I hugged him goodbye, slung my backpack over my shoulder, and hopped off before slipping right into the gutter. I heard the laughter on the bus behind me, so I looked back. Mario wasn't laughing; he looked concerned. That was a relief! I waved him off and trudged into my apartment building.
I was still soaking wet when I entered my apartment. My 9-year-old brother Gavin was sprawled across the floor, trying to light a fire in the fireplace, while my 6-year-old sister Hazel watched intently from the sofa, amused. A look of ridiculous determination crossed Gavin's face as I took the lighter from his hand.
"Let me do it," I commanded.
"I can do it!" Gavin grabbed the lighter stubbornly.
I sighed, burying my face in my hands as he finally lit the fire.
"Happy now?" I half-teased. I then looked over at Hazel, who was studying me closely.
"Eppie," she said in complete 6-year-old seriousness, "You're wet."
"Really? Can't believe it," I said sarcastically, standing up with my hands on my hips, "Guys, where's Mom?"
"Lola across the hall gave her fifty bucks to show her some… 'tricks'." Hazel informed me. I wonder if she knew what that meant.
"'Tricks'?" I repeated, baffled. I shook my head, "I don't want to know."
Gavin let out a laugh as I shut the door to my room. I sat on my bed, hugging my soaking-wet knees to my chest. I knew my squeaky sneakers would make marks on my blanket, but it was pretty dirty anyway. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. After a while, I pulled my diary out from under my pillow and flipped through it, seeing the name "Mario" about a thousand times. I threw it to the end of my bed, but it fell open to one particular page. I picked it up again, reading the entry.
If you could only see it!
Mario, how can you not see it? Strangers see it in me! They see you and me together, and they know what's going on. You're supposed to be enlightened or something; well, why can't you figure it out? I just wish you could feel it for once. I wish you could feel the flight… the ecstasy… mixed with a heartache and a hell. But it's a feeling you'll never know, isn't it? You'll never feel it! And I'll know it all too well… forever.
I let out a loud cry.
Suddenly, Hazel burst into my room.
"Eppie, you hag!" she accused, "Could you try to maybe shut the hell up?"
I stared after her as she slammed the door. My baby sister had sworn me out. My brother was sitting playing with lighters in the other room. My mom was across the street teaching the sad old lady something that had to do with alcohol or sex. And I had no idea where my dad was. Probably completely wasted, impregnating countless other women. He'd done it before. My family had stopped caring. Family… if you could call it that. I wish Mario were my family, I thought to myself, More than anything on earth.
It was getting dark. I wrapped my arms around myself and closed my eyes.
If only…
The next day, there was a new girl in my science class. Her name was Cass.
"Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?" the science teacher, Mr. Lisbon, asked.
Cass spoke in a voice sweet as honey, "Well, I'm 15."
Yes, we gathered that, I thought to myself. I wasn't watching her. I was writing a horrible poem.
"I… I guess I should say I'm adopted," Cass stated.
That caught my attention, and I looked up at her, curious.
This Cass was beautiful; I would be a fool to deny it. There was a familiar look about her, but I wouldn't have been able to recall it. She had long, deep brown hair and immense blue eyes with long eyelashes. Her clothes were really very nice; she wore a flowing navy skirt and a matching sweater. Even her shoes, which were platforms, were the same color. Her bag was stuffed full of books, and yet she carried more in her arms. I could see the top one's title- The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
"I've lived in New Jersey since I was seven," Cass continued, "My foster parents became my legal guardians when I was nine. They're such wonderful people," her eyes lit up. Did I know her? "Really. That sounds conceited, but I'm grateful. So grateful." She smiled at her feet shyly, "That's really the most interesting thing about me. I love to write… and daydream."
The class laughed, but they laughed with her, and not at her. They didn't laugh like they had when I fell in the gutter.
The science teacher motioned for Cass to take a seat, and we continued with the Periodic Table.
"Now, Cass," he queried, probably just to be showy, "Might you be able to name the noble gases?"
Cass made a face as if this were a trick question, "Helium, Neon, Argon, Krypton, Xenon, Radon?"
The entire class clapped!
When the bell finally rang to go to our next class, I waltzed outside to find Mario waiting for me.
"Hi!" I said, thrilled, rustling his hair.
"Hey, Eppieboppers," he smiled at me. He couldn't have looked sweeter.
"So, are we still on for that movie tonight?" I said, flirting as much as usual.
"Of cou- whoa…"
I turned to see what Mario was staring at.
Cass.
The new girl.
She was trying to shove another book into her bag. Somehow, she managed to do this gracefully enough to captivate Mario. Once she finally had it in, she looked up- right into Mario's ocean eyes. And I saw that dreamy smile that he never saw me give him.
"Who's that?" Mario asked me, utterly enthralled.
"Um," I tugged Mario's arm, "We're going to miss the bus."
But Mario walked right past me, as though he were hypnotized, to go and talk to her. I felt hot tears sting my eyes as I watched them eyeing each other. Her dreamy gaze escalated into a grin that spread across her perfect complexion. She was so pretty. And suddenly I saw it.
Cass was Cassandra Cole.
