Okage Densetsu - Lookit the Fancy Japanese

Chapter 5 - Those Filthy Rats

The entrance to Madril was an impressive sight at first- two huge gears hidden partially in the canyon-side stood silent until Ari came up to them and knocked on the metallic surface twice. Suddenly the gears went into action, spinning at a fair speed around until two openings met each other at the path leading in to the rest of the town- hurrying on through, the gears spun shut behind them into a locked position, being, in all, a very clever gate system. It was one of the reasons Madril was considered the safest towns in all the world, so it confused the hell out of Ari that everyone, upon instantly entering, were all whispering rumors of the so-called Evil King that lurked in the sewers. Of course, he figured Stan would tell him to investigate, so our hero got one step ahead and simply walked over to a group of worried townspeople.

"Well, what are we going to do?"

"There's so many heroes here, all queued up. I don't think we have to worry."

"But to have any evil in our town... Brr!"

"Excuse me," Ari found his opening, "I just came from Tenel. What's going on?"

"All the way from Tenel? Sorry you had to come from all the way out in the country, boy," one of the men looked at him, "But it would be best if you went home again. There's an Evil King in our sewers- there were signs posted all over town about it. Only heroes and fools would bother with it, and the Hero's Club is already jam-packed with both trying to get fame."

"Oh, alright. I'll keep it in mind. Sorry for-"

The woman next to Ari had looked down and noticed Rin. Instantly she spouted, "Now isn't THAT the cutest little thing in town, huh?"

Rin giggled, as she was suddenly picked up by the very same lady, who was showing her off to the group who could do nothing but agree.

"Such a pretty little flower!" The woman suddenly noticed Corona standing behind Ari, "Does she belong to you two?"

"Eh? AAAH! NO! She's an orphan- I was coming and found her- Corona is a brainless drool machine- I don't know either of them- stop accusing me! I don't have a girlfriend!"

The crowd instantly burst into laughter, everyone saying, "Well, no need to be shy about it!"

Ari grumbled as Rin was handed back to him, his face red. He scooted away from the crowd, then sat Rin down.

"So, he's hiding in the sewers, eh? And what's this about 'heroes'? There's only suppose to be one! Uno! Singular!"

"Well, Stan, guess what: They're plural."

"Grr! Don't give me lip, slave! We're going to investigate that, then we're heading down in the sewers to open a can of whoopass! Girl, or whatever your name is!"

"Yes, Grampa?"

"See if you can scout out a way into the sewers for us!"

"Stan! She can't go alone! She'll get killed!"

"So?"

By now, Ari's blood was boiling, but he knew it wasn't worth it to argue, so he just shut up and grudgingly watched Rin salute and skip off with her stuffed cat. Being instructed to 'go gather information' as usual, Ari dragged Corona with him into the Town Hall, which seemed to also have the local Hero's Club attached to it. Upon entering, there were people frantically working behind the desks to get things in order, and the pink umbrella- er, woman- from before having an argument with the guard before the door to the club itself.

"Why can't I go in?"

"It's chaos in there, besides, there are so many heroes here that they could defeat a sewer full of Evil Kings. You're better off just going home, lady."

"I demand I be let in! I am a hero, more qualified than half the losers in there!"

"Yeah, sure, that explains why you're stupid enough to have an umbrella open in a building."

Ari blinked, noticing this statement caused the woman to tremble something terrible.

"Just let me in before I kill you!"

"Alright, alright, fine. I don't care. But don't say I didn't warn you." The guard barely moved when the woman slipped in around him. He then focused on Ari, monotonely asking, "Now what do you want?"

"Can I... uh... go in there too?"

"Ugh, I hate you people. Stalking women. Fine, go in, but listen dude, this hobby will get you killed faster than becoming a REAL hero."

"..." Ari didn't comment but walked in himself. The room was full of people waiting, the pink-parasol toting heroine again arguing with someone else.

"Listen, you're lucky I even gave you a number. Now be patient like the rest of these people!"

"You don't understand! I -MUST- be allowed to the sewers!"

"So did the three-hundred and thirty-five others before you."

"Grr! Let me pass, NOW!"

"I said you need to wait! And why do you have that stupid thing opened in a building? It's bad luck- you as a 'hero' would know that! Shame on you! Besides, it doesn't matter..." The man suddenly smirked, "Everybody knows your shadow is-"

KASLAP!

The man was lying on the ground, the woman gone before Ari could blink. "Yeow, hot temper. You okay, dude?"

"It s-stings... but in a g-good way... ugh..."

"...Whatever. Well, Stan, it seems there are at least three-hundred and-"

"I heard that, you idiot!" Stan appeared, upset by the sheer number of heroes, "So many against one evil... That's it! We're going down there FIRST!"

"...Didn't you send Rin off to find us an entrance be-"

"SHUT UP! Let's see if she's found a way down yet!"

"Right, fine..." Ari headed out through the door, signaling a Corona to follow.

The town was nothing but industrial- most of the buildings were made of concrete and simply thrown into whatever space was avalible, and others, made of metal, had gears attached to them, endlessly spinning. However, hardly a person could explain what any of it was for, but it was assumed it ran with the research center 'upstairs' - indeed, the town had two levels. The bottom was the low-class area, and upstairs the snobs ruled. Nobody knew why they grew to dislike each other, but that was just how it was. Ari found the elevator leading up was shut off, but that didn't matter since they were worried about the sewers.

"Rin? Rin, where are you?" He paused before two guards blocking the road, "Hey, have you seen a little black-haired girl run by?"

"Eh? No, no... Bob DID say something about a pink umbrella though."

"Yeah, this lady ran past without hearing us say 'Hey, you can't go this way.' I wonder why she has that thing when there's no sunlight down here?"

"She must have a good reason," Ari himself tried to stop thinking about what the man from before said, the words about her shadow- could she, too, have something possessing it? "Maybe it's a family heirloom."

"Hehe, maybe. Well, you can't come this way, sorry. Blocked because of the chaos. But... eh, you didn't hear it from me: there's several ways around this town. Just prowl. Hehe."

"Alright, thanks!" Ari began calling for Rin again, heading back the way he came. "Rin?"

"Rin?" A little boy looked at Ari, "Hey, that's the name of our new team member!"

"Huh? Is she... little? Has black hair?"

"Yep. And a killer stuffed cat. Oh, but I shouldn't say anything! You must be a spy of the Whisker-moles!"

"Eh? Never heard of them."

"Yeah right! They just got a new member- she's your age and had a bucket on her head!"

"...Oh hell, Corona..." Ari grumbled, having just then noticed she was gone.

"As a member of the honorable and way-cool Spotted-Cat team, I'll never spill any of our secrets!"

"Oh yeah?" Stan suddenly spouted, "Then how would you like an eternity full of pain and punishment?"

"Dude! ... Hey. Playing tricks with your shadow to get secrets like that Todd guards the door to the back of the town is cheap. And even more cheap when you make me admit he's in the building just behind you with the green roof. I, however, as a Spotted-Cat, will never leak! ... uh... whoops. Hey! Where'd he go?"

The door to the small house swung shut.

"Uh-oh. Maggie's gonna be pissed at me again."

Inside, they found none other than Todd, who cheerfully let Ari past since he knew the password - "Huh?" There was a path behind the building that led around behind the guards from before, the path closed off farther on. However, waiting before a building was none other than the umbrella-heroine, looking rather upset. Finding this to be a good time to perhaps see if she could possibly be a kindred being, Ari wandered over. However, never having experience with asking things delicately, he tried to skip around the issue.

"Uh... where... did you get your parasol?"

"Hmm?" She looked at him straight in the eyes, only one of her own visible. She had bright gold eyes that lit up her face, but she had her hair combed down over the left. "God damn it, can't a woman get through life without people wondering why she carries it around? Huh? Why do morons like you have to go and assume things that aren't true!"

"Ah! Don't kill me!" Ari cowered.

"..." She sighed, "Sorry. I lost my temper. But why shouldn't I be allowed to once in awhile? Everyone has emotions, even heroes!"

"Uh... yeah..." For once, he was actually WISHING Stan would appear, but it didn't seem so, "Sorry for asking. I'm just curious."

"That's okay, many people are curious. Without curiosity, we don't make new discoveries- in fact, I'm 'curious' as to WHY I HAVE TO WAIT! That's it! I'm going down by myself!"

"Wait a minute! Can I thank you for saving me?"

"Eh?" She looked him up and down, "Saving you? Sorry. I don't remember."

"Oh, that's okay. I was being pestered by ghosts and I just wanted to thank you for cutting them down to size, uhm... ah..."

"Rosalyn. Bye." She suddenly tore off, looking for her way to the sewers. She used logical sense and ran to a manhole cover, slid it aside, then jumped down. She cutely floated down into the hole with the parasol above her, disappearing.

"...Heh. She's kind of pretty."

"Don't let the false beauty of females sway you, Slave! There is nothing but lies and death in a woman's mind!"

"Then you must REALLY like them, because doesn't that make them evil?"

"UGH! I haven't ANY time for females, you idiot! Now stop jabbering and head down there and see if she's onto something!"

"Alright! Good god..." Ari climbed down the ladder into the small pipe. It simply led a distance up to another ladder, Rosalyn entirely gone. So he simply ran over and popped up, in the last section of first floor of the town. Putting the manhole back (to minimal scolding from Stan) Ari looked and immediately spotted Rin standing behind a pair of gates, humming. "Hey! There you are!"

"Hello! Hi, Grampa!"

"STOP IT!"

"Er, are you stuck in there?"

"Nope. I joined a club and now I'm the gatekeeper! I can't lets you in 'less you ask Maggie first. Sorry, Grampa!"

"STOP IT NOW!"

"Hehehe!"

"Rin, please? Let us in?"

She shook her head no several times. "Tell them you know me and they'll let you in, though, I bet!"

"Alright... Don't go anywhere. Where can I find Maggie?"

Rin pointed at the building to the right. "In there."

"Thanks." Ari waltzed right in, instantly being spotted by two small figures, "Uh, hey there. Can I find a 'Maggie' here?"

"Oh! Maggie, this is that spy I was telling you about with the crazy shadow!"

"CRAZY? I may be MAD, but CRAZY is not a term that dare be applied to someone of my status!"

"Holy crabcakes!" Maggie hurried over, "That's totally awesome yet stupid at the same time!"

"WHY YOU!"

"Stan! Stop before you have a coronary! Uhm, we need to get to where Rin is- oh, that's right. I'm friends with her."

"Uh-huh. Right. You're just a spy! A cootie-filled spy!"

"Yeah? And what are you suppose to be?"

"Maggie? She's the leader of the Spotted-Cat team! She's a tomboy- that's why she's known as Maggie of the Cuts 'n Bruises!"

"That's right! And you and your weak attempts to get in won't work, stupid Whisker-Mole spy!" She stuck her tongue out at Ari, but suddenly whipped around when there was the sounds of footsteps. "Oh no! He's let on to our location!"

Two boys, one holding a caged cat, the other sporting an awesomely bad haircut, and Corona who was tied to the cool kid's arm with a red dog leash stepped into the room. Corona had the bucket atop her head as if it was to be her mask. The kids had drawn eyes on the bucket for her and she looked extremely comical, not including the fact she had a red cape tied around her neck and a baseball bat in hand. The kid in the center spoke up, "Hello, Flea-bitten cats."

"Ugh! You're not allowed down here! This is OUR territory, you idiots!"

"Nahaha," The boy with the cage laughed nasally, "This building is so easy to enter it's not funny."

"That's right," The leader spoke, "But if you're going to argue about territory, then, well, look at this cage here!"

"GASP! Dilbert!" Maggie yelped, "You can't kidnap a kitty!"

"We didn't kidnap him," Corona spoke with a big voice, very uncharacteristic of herself, "We simply gave an astray mammal a new home! If you want her back, you'll follow our leader back to the rear of this building!"

"You can't DO that, you stupid meanie heads! I hate you guys!"

"Haha! Oh, and did you meet our NEWEST member?"

"Isn't that the one with the stupid bucket on her head?"

"Oh, but we found another... Come on out, lady!"

Rosalyn suddenly wandered out, wearing a face that read 'God, why me?' "Yes sir..."

"That's no fair! You have an adu-... Oh yeah? We've got a new member too! Right!"

Ari jumped, finding everyone was looking at him. "Me?"

"Yeah, of course, stupid new member! We'll get you yet, you stupid stupid cootie-butts!"

"Hahaha! Whatever!" The Whisker-Mole team sank off to the back of the room, the Spotted-Cat team following along close behind. They came only to see rows of boxes being pushed into place, hearing a faint voice from behind complain that she didn't sign up for it, and exclaiming 'Oh my god, I'm shedding tears...' before her pink parasol disappeared into the door behind the crates.

"A big bunch of boxes? They've made a wall of them! Okay, New Member! I was thinking they'd whip out their favorite trick, the 'Boxes You Can Push But Not Pull', but it seems now they've finally noticed we figured out the pattern. Up you go!"

Ari suddenly looked up at the boxes. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"That's right! We have no time to be playing games with babies!" Stan shouted, swinging a fist in the air, "We've got to get to the sewer!"

"Oh... that's right... if you help us... we know where the sewer's entrance is. It's secret, only for us." Maggie cutely teased, turning away from them.

"...Fine. Ari! Play their stupid game and get the information out of them quickly!"

"Alright..." Ari reached up and got the very tips of his fingers on the barely-there ridge made from the boards running across the crate above the first one. He quickly hauled himself up, and clung to any ledge-like surface he could. Feeling like he was going to fall, he hurried up onto the third. Setting his left foot down on a ledge, he suddenly winced and completely fell off, hitting the dusty ground, creating a cloud. "Ow."

"What was that for? Get back up there, New Member!"

"My foot," Ari spoke internally, "It's all swollen... what in the HELL is in Corona's spit?"

"GO!"

"ALRIGHT!" Ari got up and scaled the boxes again, much more quickly. Reaching the top, he hopped down, then shoved a row aside so the two kids could follow him. All together, they walked into the rear room, where the leader was awaiting with Corona, Rosalyn, and the cat-cage holding sidekick.

"Robert! Here we are! Hand over the kitty!" Maggie pointed at the leader, clearly named Robert, "Don't make me beat you senseless!"

"No."

"But... But that's so unfair! You stupid head!" Maggie started to cry.

"Hahaha, l-"

KASLAP!

"AIGH! OW!"

"You idiot!" Rosalyn now stood over Robert, who had a hand mark across his face, "I'm glad an adult finally got into this situation! You DON'T make a girl cry no matter what! Now give back the damned cat otherwise I'll tell your mother!"

"B-b... WAAH! I HATE YOU BASTARDS!" He suddenly ran off, sobbing, for the exit. Before he could, however, he jerked to a stop because of the leash. Trying to pull Corona along, he found it impossible and quickly untied it, sobbing the rest of the way home.

"...U-uhm..." His companion suddenly dropped the cage and ran off behind him.

"Dilbert! Yay! Thank you, miss!"

"Yeah... whatever. How do you get into the sewers?" She was holding her head by now...

"Oh, Rin guards the gates. Tell her she you can come in. Maggie says it's okay. And what to do with the last Whisker-Mole, huh?"

Corona drooled.

"...We'll take care of her, don't worry." Ari walked over and pulled her along, "Time for us to go."

"Thanks! Bye!"

Rosalyn followed, though impatiently, as they walked back out to the gates.

"Okay, Rin, we can come in. Maggie says it's okay."

"Okay!" She unlocked the gate and swung it open, letting everyone through, instantly attaching to Ari's arm. "Where are we going? Are we going down there?"

"Eh... Rin... it's dangerous and I think-"

"Wait! You're going down there? Are you MAD?"

Ari shook his head, "We're going to defeat the Evil King, but Rin here needs to wait like a good girl."

"You musn't! You'll get killed! I'll go myself and get rid of it! Clearly you have this family here to protect."

"AAAAIGH! STOP ASSUMI-"

"Actually!" Stan suddenly burst in, but didn't appear. Instead, he made his voice come from Ari's face, "That's why we're going! You see, that bastard made my lovely wife Corona- the one with the bucket on her head- mentally unwell! We must go down and get our revenge!"

"...Your voice..." Rosalyn shook her head, "Fine, fine! I'm coming with you, though!"

"No, we'll be fine. Just go home and mind your premature wrinkles."

"WHAT?"

Ari had his hands over his mouth, shaking his head, trying to indicate he didn't say that.

"We needn't such an ugly creature- oh, maybe you could scare it away with your immense bulk!"

"WHY YOU- ..." Rosalyn shook her head again, "He must have cursed you as well. Alright, little girl, I'll bring your Mother and Father down there and get them fixed. Can you wait up here?"

"Yep!"

"WAIT!" A portal suddenly opened with a flash, James's voice calling out. For a minute, nothing happened, causing slight confusion for the people watching. Then he suddenly fell down from above, head imbedding into the earth in the portal's general area. Getting upright again, he spoke, "Oh, I had felt something terrible was to happen, but now I am here, and the Master is safe!"

"What...?" Rosalyn blinked.

"Oh, this, erm... this is my butler. He knows some magic."

"Sir? Where are you?"

Stan appeared for a split-second, "Here, James!"

"OH! Right!"

Rosalyn, however, had caught a glimpse of Stan. "..."

"Yes, I do- OH NO! I forgot! I'll be right with you sir! I'm always supporting you, one-hundred percent! Here I come, Natasha!" He suddenly ran off into another portal, gone as soon as he had come.

"...Right. Are we going now?"

"Uh, yes..." Stan again spoke for Ari, "Come on, beloved wife."

"Yes, my dear..." Corona followed as everyone (including a Rin who snuck down last) headed down into the sewer. Walking in a short distance, everyone got to see what was probably expected: A rat. But this wasn't an ordinary rat- it was the biggest, roundest rat anybody'd ever seen, and that was saying alot. "Wow... look at the local wildlife..."

"Ugh! A big stupid rat! Maybe he's the gatekeeper?"

"You ARE rude!" The rat exclaimed, "Coming and-"

"EEEW! IT'S A TALKING RAT!"

"What are you, the Queen of Rude from the Country of Rude?"

Everyone blinked, staring up at the rat.

"Well, er, who are you?" Ari blinked again.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm the Sewer Evil King, soon to be Great Evil King! I will take over this sewer, and then the world!"

"Wait!" Rosalyn suddenly stumbled back a step, "This isn't right! You're not... you're not that bastard who..."

Stan suddenly lurched into his usual position, "HAH! You, a Great Evil ANYTHING? You make me laugh! Me, the Great Evil King Stanely Hihat Trinidad XIV will bring a swift end to you for spreading such trash!"

"S...Stanley? NO!" Rosalyn suddenly stared at the shadowy-one, "Then what is this Sewer King?"

"Eh? Do I... know you?"

Rosalyn grumbled, "I'll kill you yet, you bastard..."

"Whatever." The Sewer Evil King grumbled, "In this situation, it's best just to kill everyone all at once!"

"The fight is on." Corona held the baseball bat high.