Okage Densetsu – Lookit the Fancy Japanese
Chapter 13 – Hot Little Linda
Ari had hurried the party to Madril, hoping against hope that nothing had happened to or around Linda. Knocking on the gates, he let everyone in, then stopped still. The town seemed normal so far…
"I think I know who we have to go talk to. I would prefer if it some of you stayed down here and some came up with me."
"I will accompany you." Marlene stood beside Ari, "Besides, you are my servant…"
"I'll come because I need to protect the princess. Everyone else, go gather information!"
"Okay!" Corona, Rin, Big Bull and Kisling suddenly split off, heading around to find information. The three others quickly headed up the elevator, where instantly Ari ran to Linda's street corner where she was found dancing away.
"Linda!"
"Oh, coach!" She beamed cutely, "Glad to see you!"
"Who is coach?" Marlene stepped next to Ari.
"Well, of course my little lovey-dovey is my coachy-woachy!" Linda cooed, making eyes at Ari who flushed red, "Nobody else in the world comes close!"
Marlene suddenly grew the biggest frown she had probably ever worn in her life. Her tone of voice even changed, as she suddenly put her arm around Ari's, "Who gave you permission to call him that?"
"Your majesty?" Rosalyn stepped up behind Marlene, not sure what she could do.
"Oh, he did, of course. He taught me, and therefore, he is my coach."
"NO!" Stan suddenly appeared, "I taught you!"
"Well I am afraid I must inform you his proper title is Ari!"
"Girls…" Ari merely blinked, almost numb from being fought over.
"Hm, okay then, Ari-wariy it is. Cutey wittle love dove! You know, though, his affections, oh!" Linda twirled, "They can only be described in a song!"
Marlene grew a pink color out of anger as Linda began singing. The singer quickly, and sweetly let out something along these lines: "The rain was falling and hell was calling, but as long as he was mine I was fi-ii-iine… With my hand in his own, our love had grown, and still the rain kept falling! He whispered in my ear, "My love, do not fear," He said he'd love me all the time! I looked into his eyes and could see, the love he had for me, so I drew myself closer aaaaaand-"
"I DID WHAT?" Ari yelped, suddenly looking between Linda's warm, lovely grin and Marlene's totally pissed off face, "I don't remember doing ANY of that!"
"But… you were thinking about it… because you loved me, Coach. I know so."
"No!" Marlene shook her head, tears suddenly filling her eyes, "We are in love! Not you and him!"
"How could anyone ever love someone as plastic as you, huh?"
Marlene gasped silently, looking at Linda's grinning face. In what felt like forever, she had glanced in a look of pure confusion at Ari, who was about to say something. Wincing, Marlene suddenly shot off, hot tears running from her face.
"Marlene!" Ari yelped as he watched her bolt.
"Your highness!" Rosalyn shot off like a rocket after her, "Wait, come back!"
"Oh dear, did I hurt her feelgoods?"
Ari suddenly looked at Linda, "That was terrible! You should be ashamed of yourself!"
"I should… oh," She patted her wrist as if she were hitting herself, "Bad little Linda, bad!"
"…I have to go find Marlene." Ari frowned at Linda, "And I have to make sure she is okay. You are probably the first person who's ever made her cry. I hope you're happy."
"Oh…" Linda watched as Ari took off after Marlene, "Whoopsies. Hehe."
Ari first headed back to the lower level of the town, awaiting impatiently for the elevator to get to that level. When he did, he tore out, then looked around. He caught a glimpse of Rosalyn running into the inn, so he followed in behind her.
"More guests? Wow, we're really popular."
"Actually, for now I just need to talk with the two that came in."
"Oh, just down the hall, first room. The first one looked really upset… is she okay?"
"I can only hope so…" Ari turned, then walked into the hallway, where Rosalyn was trying her best to talk through the door. He let out a sigh, listening to the conversation.
"Please, your Highness, let me in," Rosalyn continued to talk, staring at the door, "We can talk or something for awhile."
"Go away…" Marlene sobbed from behind the door.
"Your Majesty…"
"Rosalyn… let me try." Ari stepped to the door after Rosalyn moved. He paused to signal to Rosalyn to leave the hallway, and she did so quietly, pulling the hallway door shut behind her. Letting out a sigh, Ari looked at the door, "Marlene?"
"Oh Ari…" There was a loud sniff, "What….?"
"Can we… talk for a minute?"
"I cannot!" Marlene let out another slightly stifled sob, "This feeling… I have never felt it before… it burns inside of me like a fire…"
"Marlene…" Ari sighed again, "…You're… upset. Probably angry and me… and perhaps… jealous."
"What does it matter? I'm so confused by all of this! I… I don't know what I'd say if I could see you… please… go away…"
"Marlene…"
"Just go away…" Her voice faded as she moved to the back of the room. Slowly, the sweet melody of her music box began coming from the door. "Just go…"
"…alright, Marlene. But we will have to talk to each other again sometime, you know. Call for me if you want me and I'll be right here…" Ari sighed, turning from the door. He opened the hallway door, then looked to Rosalyn. "Find everybody. We're spending the night."
They did just that, checking out the entire inn for themselves. When the rest of the group went to dinner, Rosalyn found it impossible to convince Marlene to come with who wound up staying. Ari also stayed, telling Rosalyn it would be fine for her to go and have something to eat. After everyone had left, he walked back to Marlene's door and could still hear the sound of the music box. Tapping lightly on the door, he called in, "Marlene?"
"Ari…" Her voice drew closer.
"Are you feeling better?"
"Perhaps a little."
"Can I come in and talk yet?"
"…" For the longest time, there was silence except for the light music. Then the music stopped, and the lock slowly turned. A weary-looking Marlene then slowly pulled the door open, staring at Ari with a slightly wet face.
"Oh, now that won't do," Ari dug around for some cloth, and found Linda's old bow. He didn't think it would be too harmful to use in place of a hankerchief at the moment. He quickly, to a minimal amount of protest, cleaned off Marlene's face. "That's better. You can't feel better, my Mom says, until you've gotten rid of all the tears."
"Oh. I see."
"Now, can you tell me why you got so upset?"
"I do not know why…" Marlene shook her head slightly. "I just became very upset after she had said…"
"You'll run into people who will say those things, Marlene. It's part of living a normal life."
"…Oh. I see."
"Now, if you're feeling good enough, Rosalyn is worried sick and would like you to come to dinner." Ari suddenly extended his hand to her, "Want to come?"
She stared at his hand for a minute, then slowly took it. "Yes… I suppose I should."
"Good. Come on." Heading out Ari tried to force all the blush that wished to run to his face down, and he actually did a good job of it. However, to his great surprise, as he came outside the sound of faint pop music filled his ears. "What the?"
"It sounds like that Linda's songs." Marlene looked around, "But it sounds as if it is coming from all over."
"Oh, here comes Rosalyn. Hey Ros-"
"Ari! We have a problem!"
"What?" He blinked.
"While they were eating, everyone suddenly froze. Then they all started talking about how Linda is hot!"
"What?"
"How Linda is hot! I mean, not just our party, but everyone in the café, too! Then as I came by, everyone had pink and purple Linda shirts on and would do nothing but say how hot Linda was!"
"…You're kidding me, right?"
"No way! Stay here!" Rosalyn ran off, then grabbed a random man, bringing him back, "Okay, introduce yourself, sir."
"I am… hot Charlie… hot for Linda… because Linda is hot and the hotness IS Linda." He drooled, "So hot."
"Holy shit…"
Stan suddenly appeared, "This intrigues me. How did this effect set in so fast?"
"Good question, Stan."
"It can't be the food because I'm unaffected and I ate," Rosalyn was thinking hard, "Whatever it is, we know just who to talk to, don't we?"
"Right. Come on, let's go ask-"
"Linda!"
"Linda!"
"Linda!" The third of the last of a quartet suddenly sang, all three standing in front of Ari and company, much to their bewilderment. The three suddenly bellowed out in classic three-tone fashion, "Hello my little Linda baby, the hottest girl arou-ou-ound! Hello my little Linda baby, why she's just the cutest in town! With her ultra-good looks, and fine pink dress, her presence onto us she does bless… oooh-ohh-ohh and with her hair of gold so fine, I do hope she will be mii-ii-iine, dumdumdum, hello my little Linda baby, hello my little Linda giiiiiiiirl!"
"…" The three applauded, still bewildered.
"Thanks!" The three men spoke at once, "We are the Linda Groupie Quartet! Don't forget: Linda is HOT!"
"Okay: Now I'm REALLY scared."
"Come on, Ari!" Rosalyn led the charge. However, all three had to wait for the elevator, which came down with a little kid in it. "Excuse, we need t-"
"Linda makes me hot…"
"Aaah! Another one!" Ari hid behind Rosalyn.
"So hot…"
Rosalyn suddenly tossed the kid out of the way and headed up with Marlene and Ari. Reaching the top, they found the music was louder up here and was coming from the train station. "What a dreadful racket!"
"Oh, Coach!" Linda beamed from her street corner, "Hello!"
"Linda, what did you do?"
"Everyone's all happy and brainwashed!" She giggled, "Isn't it happy?"
"Happy? This is SICK!" Rosalyn stomped over, "What DID you do?"
"It's simple," She danced back and forth, "I'm the Teen Idol Evil King!"
"…excuse me?" Ari blinked.
Stan suddenly shouted, "That makes no sense! You're female! You can't be a king!"
"Yes I can…" She whined a bit, pouting, "I already have the horns for it."
She pointed them out, making Ari slap his forehead. Why didn't they tip him off before? "Aren't they adorable?"
"They give me reason to kill you right here, you demon!"
"Aw, are you sure you won't first buy a t-shirt?" Linda suddenly held up a 'Hot Little Linda' shirt, "They come in all sizes!"
"Linda, we're NOT going to be drawn in by merchandising, now wa-"
"Wait, wait, Ari…" Rosalyn felt the material of the shirt in her fingers, "These come in my size…"
"HAH! They must be the kind large enough to fit three hippos! Haha!"
"SHUT UP! YOU CAN'T EVEN WEAR CLOTHES YOU NAKED, FATASS EVIL KING!"
"SHUT UP!" Ari screamed, "Come on! We've got to take care of L- …oh shit. Where did she go?"
The three looked around.
"She flew the coop, slave! Time to check out the map and chase her down! Bwahahaha!"
"I suppose…" Ari sighed. His chance at true love? Entirely dashed. His little Linda dreams were all gone by now, nothing much left. Pulling out the map, he lethargically opened it, reading, "'In a land of snow and ice, resides a singer once quite nice, awaiting to see her love, who no doubt came from above.' Ugh…"
"Ari. You'll be okay, no matter how cute she was." Rosalyn gave a silly grin, "Mister lovebug."
"Don't get me started on you, Rosalyn."
"What ARE you talking about?"
"… Never mind. Is it worth getting the rest of the crew?"
"I don't think so, they're obsessing over how Linda is hot, but then… is she…?"
"AAH! Rosalyn, cut it out!"
"Ah! Let's hurry!"
They ran out of town, then took the path through the canyon. Reaching the snowfields (Pospos, like the hot springs) they found a trail of hot little Linda footprints, though they were rapidly filling with the falling snow. Following it close, they were suddenly interrupted as a voice shouted, "Hark!"
"Huh?" Ari skidded to a halt in front of the girls, staring up at the floating figure.
He was certainly a snappy dresser, what with his long, flared vest, sexy pants, beautiful red bowtie, clean white shirt, and nice shoes. His hair, blonde, was pleasantly curly at the ends, kept at a nice length. The only problem was it looked as if, just maybe, he was wearing purple eyeshadow. (Can you tell the author had a thing for him?) "Hear mine call, less you take the fall. This world outside belongs not to ye, how foolish you are we will see!"
"What the…?" Rosalyn blinked, staring up.
"Out of my way, stupid man!" Stan grumbled, "I'm chasing down a false Evil King!"
"False, or true, little Shadow King? Who does decide such a thing?"
"What ARE you talking about! Me, little? Whatever! Now move!"
"Then a final warning to thou and thy kin- continue much further, you will meet the 'fin'." The floating man laughed, suddenly disappearing into thin air.
"…That was odd." Marlene blinked. "Was he not wearing eyeshadow?"
"And what in the hell was he talking about?" Ari scratched the side of his head.
"No time to care about that, Slave! Follow the trail!"
"Right!" Ari started along again, following the now barely-visible Linda prints. They led to a structure sticking up at the shore, looking like an old rundown temple. He helped Rosalyn and Marlene in, then looked around. "They really DO like the same places."
"There should be one difference in each! This freaks me out!"
"Well, Rosalyn, let's just go fix this big problem and worry about the rest later?"
"…Good idea."
They wove around the oddly quiet dungeon, occasionally slipping past a ghost here and there. They had to trip a few switches to open a few doors, but nothing too hard. Finally, they came to the stairs down and walked together into the room.
Faint, sweet humming echoed about this room. Linda was dancing to the rear of the room, humming.
"Alright, Teen Idol Evil King," Rosalyn approached her first, "Prepare yourself!"
"I don't want to fight you."
"Huh?"
"Because then I would have to hurt the Coach." She spun around, facing everyone. "I don't want to! I just want to take over!"
"Haha! Too bad!" Stan laughed darkly, "Calling yourself Evil King… this means I MUST beat the shit out of you, you know! Hrhrhr!"
"But Coach! … Oh, I see! This is a test! Alright, I will do my best to best you! Hehe! Bring it on!"
Rosalyn suddenly changed at Linda, but the girl was gone before she got there. Linda had bounced out of the way- she suddenly landed behind Rosalyn and hit her with a blast of magic before bouncing out of the way. "HEY! HOLY STILL!"
"Hehe!"
"That's it!" Ari suddenly ran over and began swinging his blade. He could see Linda before him, but he could never seem to touch her, not matter how hard or fast he swung that sword. "Why…are…you…so…fast?"
She kept dodging and jumping out of the way, "Just 'cause."
"Dodge this!" Stan suddenly set the girl aflame who yelped, "Haha!"
Suddenly bringing his sword down, Ari had to look away as he swore he felt as if he had sliced clean through her. Stumbling back, he slowly looked over and noticed she was gone. "Where…"
"BOO!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" He jumped ten feet, suddenly getting knocked at a wall.
"Take this, you little not-hot freak!" Rosalyn suddenly froze Linda solid, then ran over and hit the frozen block with the back of her sword's handle, causing it to shatter violently. Linda fell out, limply, onto the floor. "There! Ari, are you okay?"
Marlene had peeled him off the floor and stood him upright. "He will be."
"Oh… Owwie…" Linda whimpered. The power was suddenly drawn from her by Stan, and she whined, "Coach…"
"Hah! … still, I'm not at full. Blast!"
She stumbled upright, wincing slightly, "I don't… remember…"
"…Yeah, we figured. Think of the sewers, too?"
"…Yeah… there was a stage where I could dance…"
"Ah! Ari! There's our difference!" Rosalyn gasped, "Every one has said something different about the sewers!"
"…True, they have. Linda… are you okay?"
"Yeah…" She held her head, then suddenly found a Marlene in front of her, "Oooh… hello."
"I have thought many things over from the last time we talked. I will… tolerate you liking Ari, but not loving him."
"Sorry, too late!"
"This is where I put my foot down."
"…okay, okay. So! What do you like best about him?" Linda suddenly grinned, "I love his totally adorable yellow eyes!"
"…Yellow?" Marlene looked at Ari, then looked up at Stan, "I believe… you have them confused."
"Huh? No- isn't the main body standing up behind that thing? The thing on the end is a doll, right, a clever disguise?" Linda scratched the side of her face, "Right?"
Ari was –crushed-. "You… you thought I was…?"
"Hm, well," Stan thought this over, "If you are to call me anything, you must call me by my right name. I'm King Stanley, Ari is the name of my Slave here. Understood?"
"Yes, Stanley Dear!"
"Stanley Dear…? Whatever. However, I am always looking for more supporters! Might you be interested in joining me in my conquest to defeat Fake Evil Kings and conquer the world?"
"Of course! I belong to you in heart in soul!"
"…God…" Rosalyn was standing off to the side, holding her head.
"Great!"
"Oh, Stanley! We should check out that sewer! You people said something about all the Fake Evil Kings talking about it… I bet there's some ultra cool thing down there that could help you, sir!"
"…Brilliant, Linda!"
"…I guess that's where we're going next, eh, Stan?"
"Right! Onward, Slave!"
