Yeah I'm retelling this story mostly because I loved this one. I wrote it a long time ago. It's a parody of 'I Feel Pretty' from the movie West Side Story and the original is on a few websites, including Calistolexx's and Todd Fan's! Don't worry most of the other stuff in this fic will be original. For those who haven't read this, enjoy. For those that have this is…

I Feel Pretty Redux

It was the day after Pietro arrived at the Brotherhood House. Lance was having some breakfast in the kitchen when suddenly a rush blew by him, nearly knocking him off his seat. It was Pietro. He grabbed a box of cereal. "Alright! Super Sugar Puffs! Breakfast of Champions! Yum! Yum!" He made himself a bowl and sat next to Lance. Then he began to eat in super speed. "Yumyumyummyyumyum!"

Lance looked at him in shock. "Are you always like this in the morning?"

Pietro stopped. "Like what?"

"Never mind," Lance sighed. "So are you all settled in?"

"Yeah I was a bit tired from coming in late last night," Pietro said. "Uh…my train was late."

"You mean breaking out of jail right?" Lance gave him a look.

Pietro was startled. "You know?"

Lance shrugged. "Yeah well word gets around fast here. Besides, it's no big deal. Heck, committing a felony is practically a requirement to get into the Brotherhood. Look at me. I trashed my old school."

Pietro grinned. "You a vandal? I never would have guessed."

"Uh let me rephrase that," Lance gulped. "When I say trashed, I mean totaled. As in kinda brought a few walls down."

"Oh yeah, you make earthquakes. You destroyed your school?"

"Not all of it!" Lance said. "Well most of it. It was an accident! Besides no one got hurt. It's not as creative as what you did. Yours was much better."

"Thanks," Pietro preened. "I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those nosy X-Jerks!"

"Don't worry Pietro," Lance waved. "We'll get 'em."

That was when Todd hopped in. He did a little spin and dance around the room. Pietro wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Yeesh! Does he always smell like that?"

"Actually he usually smells a lot worse," Lance told him. "Hey Toad, did your skin accidentally come in contact with some soap today?"

Todd just made himself some toast. "And good morning to you too Lance. Hey Pietro! Wazzup?"

"Careful Pietro," Lance warned. "He's in a good mood."

"And with good reason," Todd danced around. "She talked to me! She actually talked to me!" The toast popped out of the toaster and Todd grabbed it with his tongue, swallowing it. "She talked to me!"

Pietro was shocked. "Man that's freaky!"

"Oh that's right," Lance said. "You haven't seen his tongue in action before. You get used to it. Hey Toad you mean Princess Charming actually spoke more than two words to you?"

"That's right," Todd sighed happily. "I'll never forget it. 'Drop dead you little Armpit'. It was the way she said it. Yeah, she's warming up to me!"

"Wait, you mean the Goth girl at the end of the hall right?" Pietro asked.

"She's the only girl here," Lance told him. "Duh."

"She threatened to bash my face in if I stepped one foot into her room!" Pietro gasped.

"Yeah that's our little Miss Sunshine," Lance nodded.

"Aw she's just shy, that's all," Todd told him.

"No," Lance looked at Todd. "She's psychotic! Toad you have to face reality! She hates you! Like the majority of the female population of the world. But you are so pathetic you ignore all the signs in order to get some attention! You put up with all the garbage people dish out to you and make yourself into such a doormat just so you think people will like you! That is so stupid! You're an idiot!"

"I know you're just saying that 'cause you care about me," Todd waved. Lance slapped his head in frustration.

Pietro looked amused. "I'm going to love living here."

Lance tried again. "Toad! Forget it! You can't even kiss her! Her powers would kill you!"

"So?" Todd asked. "No one wants to kiss me anyway! It's a perfect match!"

"He's got a point there," Pietro looked at Lance.

"Besides you're hardly one to talk," Todd got himself some milk. "You're still hung up on Kitty!"

"Shut up Toad," Lance growled.

"Who's Kitty?" Pietro asked.

"One of the X-Geeks," Todd told him as he downed some milk. "She's a freshman, brown hair in a ponytail. Walks through walls."

"So what's wrong with her?" Pietro asked.

Todd batted his eyes and spoke in a high valley girl tone. "Like I really, really like to meet you. Like it's so great to like have someone new around here! Like wow! Freaky! Like totally valley girl y'know?"

Pietro felt the color drain from his face. "You're kidding?"

"Like no way," Todd mocked. "Like she really talks like that. I mean where does she get that valley girl talk? She's from the Midwest! She must have overdosed on one 80's movie too many."

Pietro looked at Lance who was hiding his head in shame. "That is bad! That's your type? You gotta be kidding me! Isn't there anyone else?"

"Well there's Jean the psychic redhead," Todd added.

"You mean Ms. Bossy Know It All from the other night?" Pietro asked. "Bleech!"

"They're cute but personality wise…" Todd shrugged.

"I'm beginning to see your point Toad," Pietro admitted.

"I just wish that she'd give me a chance," Todd said. "I know I don't look so great, but I really like Rogue."

"Come on Toad," Pietro got up and put his hand on Todd's shoulder. "It's not just about looks! It's about attitude! All you need is a little self-affirmation to get you through the day! Well, that and some strong cologne. Put yourself in my hands kid and she'll be begging to go out with you!"

Lance looked at him. "Boy you do like a challenge, don't you?"

"You know what I do when I need a boost?" Pietro asked Todd. "I sing!"

"You what?" Lance blinked.

"Sing," Pietro told him. "It's very good for the lungs and self esteem. You ever see the movie West Side Story?"

"Yeah they made us watch that in music class last year," Todd nodded.

"Good," Pietro said. "Just repeat after me. I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gay! And I pity any guy who isn't me today!"

Lance's jaw dropped after hearing Pietro sing. "WHAT?"

"Ignore him," Pietro waved. "Okay Toad, say it at first. Go on. I feel pretty."

Todd looked at him. "I feel pretty stupid yo."

"Don't feel that way!" Pietro instructed. "Just relax. Go with the flow. What have you got to lose?"

"I dunno Pietro," Todd sighed.

"Just do it," Pietro ordered.

"Are you out of your mind?" Lance asked.

Pietro looked at Todd. "Do you want Rogue or not? Now say it! I feel pretty."

"I feel pretty," Todd said weakly.

"Say it again."

"I feel pretty," Todd was slightly more confident.

"Again."

"I feel pretty."

"Sing it loud and sing it proud!" Pietro shouted. "I feel charming! Oh so charming! It's alarming how charming I feel! And so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real!"

"Great, just what we need around here," Lance rolled his eyes. "Another nut!"

Pietro turned Todd so he could see his warped reflection in the mirror. "See the handsome guy in that mirror there? Who can that attractive man be? Such a handsome face, such a handsome smile…"

"Such a handsome me!" Todd sang out. Lance winced in pain and slapped his head again.

Both Pietro and Todd danced around. "I feel stunning and entrancing, feel like running and dancing for joy! Cause she's loved by a pretty wonderful boy!"

Fred walked in and saw the two boys singing and dancing as well as Lance in a state of shock. "What's going on?"

"What you are witnessing Freddy is the mating dance of the Bayville Toad," Lance told him.

Pietro sang. "See the handsome guy in that mirror there?"

Fred looked around. "What mirror? Where?"

Todd added. "Who can that attractive guy be?"

Fred still looked around. "Which? What? Where? Who? Who?"

"Such a handsome face! Such a handsome dress, such a handsome smile such a handsome me!" Pietro and Todd sang.

"Are they on something?" Fred asked Lance.

"No, but they should be," Lance sighed.

Pietro and Todd sang some more. "I feel stunning and entrancing! Feel like running and dancing for joy! 'Cause she's loved by a pretty wonderful boy!"

"OKAY! I'VE HAD IT!" Lance shouted as he grabbed a newspaper. He rolled it up and whacked both of them on the head with it. "Listen up! Have you met our good friend Rogue? The craziest girl on the block? You'll know her the minute you see her, she's the one who is in an advanced case of shock!"

"She's not the only one," Fred blinked.

"You think you're in love? Get this through your brain! You're not in love, you're merely insane!" Lance sang. Then he realized something. "Oh great! Now they've got me doing it!"

Fred decided to get into it as well. "Maybe she's shy or some rare disease? Or not enough to eat? Or maybe she's got fleas?"

"I can live with that," Todd danced around.

Lance grabbed Todd. "Keep away from her you little weirdo!"

"You just want her for yourself yo!" Todd stuck his tongue out.

"HA!" Lance scoffed. "She's a stuck up jerk, impolite and unrefined, nasty and immature and out of her mind!" He grabbed some flour and put some on his bangs. "This is Rogue! Witch of the year!"

"Oh Miss Teen America! Speak! Speak!" Pietro mocked putting some flowers in his hand.

Lance got into it with a Southern accent. "It is such an honor to make you perverts drool and to know you can't touch me! You haven't a chance with me! I feel pretty! So Goth pretty! So pretty that the city should give me it's key! A committee should be formed to honor me! I feel dizzy. I feel sunny! I feel fizzy and funny and fine! And so pretty Miss America can just resign! Or I'll give her an accident! See the pretty girl in that mirror there!"

"What mirror where?" The boys sang and danced around.

"Who can that so attractive girl be?" Lance preened. "Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress, such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!"

"I feel stunning and entrancing, feel like running and dancing for joy! For I'm loved by a pretty wonderful boy!" The Boys sang and danced around. They struck dramatic poses. Then they saw Rogue and Mystique standing there with shocked looks on their faces in the doorway.

Rogue whirled on Mystique. "And you wonder why I never leave my room? I am going back in there and I am not coming out until they are gone! Ah don't care how late I am for school! Forget it!" She ran upstairs.

"Rogue wait!" Mystique called out. "I'm coming with you!" She ran after her.

"Yeah I think we made a good impression on her," Todd blinked.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"That's pretty scary…" Betsy blinked.

"Scary isn't the word for it," Peter remarked.

"They were singing?" Scott's jaw dropped.

"What's so bad about that?" Pietro folded his arms.

"Well this is a newsflash," Althea looked at Todd. "You never told me you had a crush on Rogue!"

"Uh…It was long before we met Sweetie," Todd gulped. "But I'm over her now!"

"Thank God for miracles," Rogue groaned.

"That is pretty bad," Kitty winced. "Not to mention disturbing…"

"It gets worse!" Rogue said. "Mystique once made the mistake of taking us all out to a nice restaurant. Thank god it was out of town…"