My Dinner With The Brotherhood
"Now I want all of you to behave yourselves tonight," Mystique hissed in her Principal Darkholme disguise. "For once we are going to have a meal like civilized human beings. Or at the very least a close approximation to them…"
Lance, Rogue, Todd, Fred and Pietro walked into the restaurant reasonably well dressed. "Why do I have to wear a tie again?" Lance groaned as he pulled at it.
"Because this is Sheldon Falls' nicest restaurant that's why," Mystique said. "I was not going to take any chances in Bayville where people would recognize us."
"It's nice of you to take us out," Rogue said. "Why are you doing this?"
"I lost a bet," Mystique groaned. "That's all I'm going to say."
"I told you I could get all those paper clips clipped together in my mouth," Todd said proudly. "And all that chalk."
"I think I've just lost my appetite," Rogue moaned as they were seated.
"Look just try and behave yourselves and maybe we'll all get through this with as little property damage as possible," Mystique sighed as she looked at the menu. "Now Fred please do us a favor and try not to order everything on the menu. Fred? Fred where are you?"
"Hmmm, this is good!" Fred was helping himself to what was on a bewildered couple's plate. "This lobster is tasty! And the chicken is good!"
"FRED! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT OFF OF OTHER PEOPLE'S TABLES!" Mystique shouted as she grabbed his ear. "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! CAN'T I TAKE YOU ANYWHERE?"
"I'm hungry," Fred whined.
"I'll alert the media," Mystique pulled on his ear in order to drag him away. "Just sit down with the others! They may not be much but at least they have enough sense not to take things off of other tables! Where's Toad?"
Todd had moved to another table. He was looking at another couple's salad. "Hey there's a fly in there," He pointed. "Can I have it?"
"AAGHH! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" The man shouted. "Where the hell is the chef here?"
"Yeah we can ask where he got the flies," Todd said.
"I'll sue! I'll sue!" The man shouted.
"And I'll have your salad," Todd reached for it.
"Toad!" Mystique grabbed Todd by the arm and dragged him away. "You can't have that!"
"Why? He doesn't want it!" Todd asked.
"Just sit down and behave!" Mystique growled as she shoved him into his seat. "Now all of you just behave…" She then saw Pietro's seat was empty. "Oh for crying out loud…"
Pietro zipped back. "Hi there!"
"Will you be careful? Someone could have seen you!" Mystique hissed. "Where did you go?"
"I just had to freshen up a bit," Pietro told her. "Always have clean hands before eating."
"Not to mention trying to get the waitresses' phone number," Lance snickered.
"Can I go sit in the car?" Rogue asked.
"No," Mystique told her. "If I can't get out of this no one else is!"
"Hello," A tall thin waiter walked up to them. "I am Pierre and I will be your waiter."
"Howdy! I'm Freddy and I'll be your customer!" Fred grinned. "I'd like three of each."
"Each what sir?" The waiter looked very annoyed.
"Everything on the menu," Fred told him. "So what do you guys want?"
Mystique decided to go the easy way for once. "Just make it four of everything for all of us. Starting off with the wine for me. On second thought just give me a couple of bottles straight up!"
"Can't you yahoos behave yourselves for once in your lives?" Rogue snapped.
"What do you think?" Lance chuckled.
"Look all I want is a nice long quiet dinner without any mayhem," Mystique told them. "Just for once in your lives try to behave."
Ten minutes later.
"GET THESE LOBSTERS OFF OF ME!" A chef ran around with several lobsters attached to various parts of his body.
"HELP! THERE'S SOME KIND OF DISGUSTING GUNK IN THE MENS'ROOM!" One patron shouted.
"Ten minutes," Mystique sighed as she grabbed her bottle by the neck and started drinking from it. "That's a new record for them."
"WAITER! THIS LUMMOX IS STEALING MY STEAK!" One customer screamed.
"It's not that good anyway," Fred shrugged as he stopped eating. He looked at another table. "Hey are you gonna finish that?"
"Hey boss lady!" Todd made his way to the table. "Guess how many cockroaches there are in the kitchen? They're really big! I got a couple…Now where did they go?" A lady screamed nearby. "Oh there they are."
"Jerk!" Rogue shouted as she threw some dinner rolls.
"Witch!" Lance snapped as he threw some back at her.
"LANCE! ROGUE! STOP THROWING DINNER ROLLS AT EACH OTHER!" Mystique shouted. "AND WHERE THE HELL IS PIETRO?"
"I smell smoke yo," Todd sniffed.
"So do I…" Mystique blinked. She glared at Pietro who came back to the table rather sheepishly. "What did you do?"
"I was just helping with the desserts," Pietro admitted. "Who knew crème brulee could be so hard. Especially with the little flame-thrower and…"
"FIRE! FIRE!" Someone screamed and an alarm went off.
"All right you all know the drill," Mystique groaned. "Grab the silverware and run out the back! Just like every other time we go out to eat!"
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"And that 's why the town of Sheldon Falls no longer has any five star restaurants," Rogue finished.
"You guys really do trash any place you go to, don't you?" Tim blinked. "Man and I thought I held the record!"
"Isolated incidents," Pietro defended. "Taken out of context pure and simple."
"Oh yeah?" Rogue folded her arms. "What about that time you spied on Jean's date with Duncan?"
"What?" Jean looked at them. "When was this?"
"Not long after Blobbo kidnapped you," Rogue said.
"You kidnapped her?" Tim looked at Fred. "I thought you had better taste than that!"
"I know, I know…" Fred moaned. "God you make one bad judgement…""Some bad judgement!" Pietro snapped. "I mean come on even the lunch ladies would have been better than…"
"THANKS A LOT!" Jean snapped.
"Look I put that behind me!" Fred said. "I worked very hard to get over that. And the kidnapping thing too."
"Yeah and trashing that date was a real great first step!" Todd snickered.
"What did you do?" Dead Girl asked.
"Well…" Todd began.
What happens on the date? What will the gang remember next? Find out!
