Dislaimer: I don't own The Fresca Files. The very brilliant Dreamstrifer owns them. I refuse to try to steal her ideas! They belong to her. The Pansy Man Song belongs to her. And the entire Fresca idea belongs to her. So please don't sue. Oh, and I own neither Lord Of The Rings, nor The OC. Although I figure that we all already know that. rolls eyes
A/N: Please read at least one of The Fresca Files by Dreamstrifer before reading this if you don't want to be confused. These fics are absolutely amazing. My friends and I absolutely adore them. However, if you insist on being lazy, I'll explain. In The Fresca Files, all these girls have to do in order to get back and forth between M.E. and our world is to knock over a can of Fresca near an outlet.
Bored, Becky leaned on the windowsill and gazed at the street in front of her house. Idly she wondered if knocking over a can of Fresca really would take her wherever she wanted to go.. She'd read about it happening in The Fresca Files, by Dreamstrifer, but then again those were only fanfics. It couldn't possibly happen in real life. Still…
"Bec, what's on your mind? You're not thinking about Fresca again, are you?" asked Holly, one of her best friends.
Feigning innocence, she replied, "Of course not! I was thinking about that biology assignment that Mr. Willey gave us. My God, I hate him.."
"Yeah. Not buying it. You're thinking about going to the corner store and buying a can of Fresca, and spilling it on an electrical outlet."
"Well, honestly, it would be worth a shot!" She glanced sharply at Holly. "Besides, what could it hurt?"
"My thinking exactly," her friend replied, but to Becky's surprise. "Come on, let's go. But I get to have a hand on the can to. Leggy is mine!"
Becky laughed at this and got up to grab her coat. Within five minutes they were at the counter of the local Sevey, paying for their single can of Fresca. Excited, they could barely contain their giggles, earning a raised eyebrow from the clerk.
Neither of the girls tried to act mature on the way back to Becky's house, and they soon broke into a run. Maybe, just maybe, they'd be able to go to Middle Earth and fight over Legolas. Out of breath, they skidded to a halt when they reached the doorway. Slowly, the opened the door and walked inside.
Both of the girls were extremely nervous about this. They both knew that they were being stupid, and that this wasn't going to work, but they had to try it anyway. Carefully, they opened the can and both put one hand on it.
"Okay," said Holly, "on the count of three, two, one." At this they jerked the can at the nearest electrical outlet, and were immediately thrown backwards off their feet.
"Oh my God, Bec. Are we there? Are we in Middle Earth?"
Becky opened her eyes and looked around.
"Fck," was all that she could say.
"Okay. That was a really stupid idea. We should have known better." They were still in Becky's living room, except now there was sizzling pop all over all of the furniture. Turning to look at her friend, Holly let out a great laugh. Becky's hair was frizzy and her face was pale as a ghost. Although she knew that she probably looked much the same, Holly just couldn't contain the laughter that was part how her friend looked, and part that they'd been stupid enough to attempt to make a fic come true.
Soon, Becky joined in the hilarity at their idiocy and laughed hard enough to take her breath away.
"Okay, okay. Enough," she said after a few minutes. "At least now we know. And hey, there has to be some other way. It's possible, I just know it is."
Later on that evening, Becky and Holly's friend Anh came over. After laughing for at least half an hour over her friends' stupidity, she finally began to quiet down.
"I still can't believe that you two tried to go to Middle Earth. It's just too funny! I mean, you really thought that a can of Fresca would take you to an alternate world that doesn't even exist?"
"Yes," Becky grumbled. "And I'd appreciate it if you stopped rubbing it in."
"All right, all right. I suppose it isn't so bad. At least you weren't trying to get to OC Land or something. That would be freaking hysterical!"
"Oh, too bad we didn't think of that. I'd love to get my hands on Cohen," exclaimed Holly. Both Becky and Anh rolled their eyes at this—Holly had an unhealthy obsession with Seth Cohen of The OC. It just wasn't right. He was such a loser. And he was a skater to boot! Not that either of them cared about that, it was just that Holly complained about skaters enough to make both of her friends wonder about her sanity.
"Yes, we know, Holl. And Cohen is all yours. I want Ryan." Said Becky.
"Well that's too bad. If I ever went to 'OC Land,' I'd kill Ryan off. And Marissa. And Cohen, just because Holl loves him," Anh grinned evilly.
"No! Well, I suppose that when I was all finished mourning, I could go find Oliver. He was freaking hot! I mean, he's no Cohen,' Holly sighed at this. "But he's still hot."
"You have the weirdest taste in men," was all that Becky could say to this.
"You both realize that we're talking about The OC characters as if they were real? Which they're not, by the way. Don't give me that wounded-puppy-look, Holl. You know it's true. Cohen is a character played by Adam Brody."
"Well, she does have a point there. Oh come off it Holly! This is nothing to cry about!"
However, Holly could feel the tears coming. Mind you, they were only fake tears to bug her friends. But if she worked on it hard enough and often enough, she figured that when the occasion called for it, she'd be able to cry over anything, whether she gave a damn or not.
Slowly, a single tear slid down her cheek, and stopped at her chin.
"Oh now we've done it," sighed Becky.
"But.. But.. But.. I don't want to go to school! All the kids are mean and make fun of me because my parents are still together! It's not fair. Why can't my Mommy and Daddy get a divorce too?" Holly appeared completely exasperated.
Grinning, Anh grabbed a pillow and whacked Holly over the head with it. Recovering from the blow, Holly grinned right back and dived at Anh to pin her down so that Becky could beat her with another pillow.
Laughing like crazy, Becky proclaimed Holly the strangest person that she'd ever met. As expected, Holly took great pride in this and thanked Becky for the compliment. Both Becky and Anh rolled their eyes at this, greatly enjoying their friend's company—not that they'd ever admit it.
That night, when both Becky and Anh were asleep, Holly fished through her purse and pulled out a black felt pen. An evil glint appeared in her eyes as she tiptoed towards her sleeping friends. Carefully as she could, she uncapped the marker and bent down towards Becky. Very gently, she began to write.
MIDDLE EARTH OR BUST
Proud of her handiwork, she moved on to Anh. What on earth could she do about Anh? She wouldn't care at all if she woke up with writing on her head. No, this one had to be a drawing. Inspiration struck her. Stealthily, she drew a rather good picture of Seth Cohen on Anh's cheek.
Now, Holly wasn't exactly stupid. She wasn't going to take the wrap for this. Ever so carefully, she walked into the bathroom and used the mirror to write across her forehead as well. This way, she could blame it all on Becky's little brother Tim. Grinning, she replaced the marker in her purse. There, nobody would suspect. No one would ever accuse her of writing "Legolas stinks" on herself.
Satisfied with her work, Holly settled down into her sleeping bag and went immediately to sleep.
Holly's POV
No amount of fic-reading or –writing could ever have prepared me for what I woke up to. I opened my eyes, expecting to see Becky's off-white ceiling. A ceiling, however, was not in sight. Instead, all I could see was clear blue sky. Oh sht. This wasn't good.
Panicked, I sat up as quickly as possible and frantically looked around. For miles there were rolling hills around me. Beautiful hills, but empty nonetheless. Sure. I just had to wake up outside. Oh this was an awesome prank. I wished that I had thought of it. I mean really, carrying someone outside!
Just then a frown crossed my face. It was spring, which meant rain. However, it was almost too warm wherever I was, and I'd never seen this kind of landscape in real life before. –Only in Lord Of The Rings— Oh sht. The really, really, really wasn't good..
Okay, I needed to settle down. This was probably just a dream. I mean, this kind of thing only happened in fics, right? Of course I was right. This was just a strange dream. That was all. Well, I supposed that if this were all just a dream, it wouldn't hurt to walk around a little bit and see what I could find.
So there I was, walking around in Spongebob boxers and a Winnie the Pooh tee-shirt, when I came across a horse tied to a tree. Of course, most people's first reaction would have been to untie the creature and ride away. I, however, wanted to see who the owner was. The horse wasn't overly fine, so I knew that it didn't belong to anyone from Rohan. (It's truly amazing how much you can accept once you've convinced yourself that you're merely dreaming.)
Unconsciously, I began to hum The Pansy Man Song. Now, for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, The Pansy Man Song is from The Fresca Files. (What else? It's all I seem to be able to talk about today.) It was created by a character unwillingly thrust into Middle Earth, and is about Eomer. It goes like this: Pansy Man. Pansy Man. Does whatever a pansy can. Is he gay? Yes, indeed. He has homosexual tendencies.
Yeah, it's a pretty mean song, but I'd grown attached to it. I heard a rather loud crash, and began to sing aloud, nervous now.
"What's that? Who's there?" asked a voice from behind a suspicious-looking bush.
"Well, that depends," I replied.
"On?" The voice hesitantly asked.
"On who's hiding in that bush. If you're an Orc, than this is Sauron, and I'm extremely Pssed off, and you'd be best to stay away from me. However, if you're hot, then I'm Holly."
Slowly, a blond head immerged from the bush. Oh. My. God. It couldn't be. No. It wasn't. Was it?
"Legolas?" I breathed. He looked nothing like Orlando Bloom, but there was no mistaking the manner in which he was now looking at me. He had to be Legolas. He was the only elf on the planet that wasn't completely stuck up.
He hesitated. "Perhaps?" I squealed at this. It was him! Oh Becky was going to be so jealous! But then, perhaps not, since she dreamed of him just as often as I did. And this was a dream, after all.
"Wow," was all I could say. I'd never had a dream about him that was this clear before. In fact, none of my dreams had ever been this clear. I decided to ignore this fact and simply enjoy my splendid dream.
"And you are…" He thought for a minute before attempting my name. "Holy?"
"Close. You've got a single L going on there. Try it again, Leggy. H-O-L-L-Y. Holly." Odd, I thought to myself. Why couldn't he say my name correctly if it was my dream? Oh well, I always had had strange dreams.
"Holly," was all that he said.
"Right on. Well, now that we've got that down, what do you want to do? Go for a ride? Go for a walk? Anything else," I winked at him.
Clearly, Leggy-boy didn't understand my meaning, and walked to his horse. Interested, I followed him.
"Going for a ride are we? All right. I can deal with that. I love horses," I said amiably.
He turned and fixed me with a raised eyebrow and a questioning glance. "What makes you think that I'm taking you with me?"
My mouth dropped open at this. "But this is my dream! You'll take me for a lovely horse-ride, and we'll fall in love, or just skip that step and get down to business. Either way, I'm happy."
It took Legolas a few minutes to figure out exactly what I had meant, and when he did he gave me that damn questioning look again. "This is no dream, my lady, don't be fooled. This is as real as the shirt on your back," he said in a tone that left no doubt as to just what he thought of my attire. Well, I supposed that that wasn't too surprising. He was an elf after all, and elves were so damn sheltered. Mind you, all inhabitants of Middle Earth were.
Then his words dawned on me. Let me tell you, I'm normally as hearty and healthy as they come. I'm just not the fainting type. But the reality of where I actually was did the trick and knocked me out cold.
