Only Yesterday
A companion to No Tomorrow
Written by Niyali
Those of you who read Arashi's No Tomorrow are aware that she and I have experienced a very tragic event. A girl in our church stopped breathing three days after her fifteenth birthday; by midnight she was dead. We don't know why, literally or figuratively. The doctors suspect meningitis, but as for why God declared fifteen years was enough...I suspect that we will never know until it is our turn to head home.
Dedicated to Arminda Eyre
March 19, 1990; March 21, 2005
Who could imagine I'd be wand'ring so?
Far from the home I love
Yet,
There with my love, I'm home.
Far From the Home I Love, Fiddler on the Roof
If I don't take another breath
I would die
Leave this place forever
Leave...
It sounds so easy.
It's hard to believe it
So many false alarms
Has the wolf finally come?
Is the poor boy alone, crying for help as nobody listens to his repeated call?
Does no one hearken at this cry of 'wolf'?
Is this really real?
I can't believe this.
I've never—lost anybody before.
...well, there was her, but she didn't count.
She came back.
And he did too.
They all did.
I've never—
God, was it really only yesterday?
Were we really laughing, joking about how much ass we were going to kick?
Did he beat me into the ground like normal?
Was it only yesterday when we didn't give a damn about the world?
Was it only yesterday when death seemed so far away?
This isn't the way it's supposed to go!
He promised!
He promised he'd always be there for me!
I always thought he'd keep that promise—through thick and thin he did!
He always did!
And now—
now he's gone!
How could this happen?
Why him?
Why did evading death finally have to catch up with him?
How can we go home after this?
If there's even a home to go to
How can we break the news to those left behind?
Will there even be any left behind?
If he failed,
If he died protecting the world,
What will happen to those he left?
Will they crumble into dust at the hands of a victorious villain?
No.
Not while I am here.
If he gave his life up so willingly, there must be a reason.
There must be something better then this.
Someplace better than here.
Did he know?
Or was he just blindly guessing, like he always does?
Waiting for a last minute plan that never came?
A back-up plan?
Me?
True or not, I won't let him down.
And if I die trying, I have no regrets.
