48.
IS ANYONE STILL READING THIS NONSENSE?
(seriously, is anyone?)
There were no weeds.
Willy had been searching the grass for one weed he could pull.
There weren't any.
Of course, he was kind of drunk right now.
The sun was going down, bathing the grass and the castle in hazy pink light.
"This ain't possible," Willy said. "No weeds anywhere."
Mowing this lawn could take days.
Wind whistled through the trees forming the border between the forest and the
castle grounds.
"Willy..."
"Somebody's callin' m'name on the wind," he said.
As he watched, a figure floated out of the woods.
Her feet didn't quite touch the ground.
"Shari Bobbins," he slurred.
"Hello, Willy," she said.
"Euuuch. What happened to ya?"
"I was sucked into the engine of a jet, Willy."
Willy laughed. "Ehhh, who's ugly NOW?"
She disappeared.
Willy staggered backwards, and fell to the ground.
In a moment, he was asleep.
Then, after who knows how long:
Someone shook him. "Willy. WILLY."
He opened his eyes.
"Up you go," Madame Hooch said, pulling Willy up. "Can you stand?"
"I'm capable 'a standin', woman."
He stood up, his legs unfolding like a table
"Ya see?" He asked.
Then his legs gave out.
She caught him.
"All right," she said. "I think you might need some help."
"Aye, I could use another pair of legs..."
She slung one of his arms across her shoulders and dragged him towards the lake.
"You don't remember what we did last night," she said. "I guess that's for the best."
"What'd we do?"
"Nothing," she said. Actually, they had humped like ferocious animals last night in
the forest.
"It's funny," she said. "The relationships between the teachers, you know? The
Headmaster and Minerva think no one notices them, but everybody knows they love each
other. He's a hundred and fifty-six years old and his plumbing still works. Then
there's Hagrid and Sprout. I'm not sure how that's possible, but-"
"I almost got married once," he said, through a mouthful of marbles.
"Really?"
"Yeah...her name was Shari Bobbins...the prettiest girl in Glasgow..."
The came to the edge of the lake.
"What'm I supposed to do?"
She pushed him into the water.
For a second, he disappeared under the water.
He came up splashing. "Agh...what the-" unintelligible "ye do that, woman?"
"Feel better?" she asked.
"Get in here," Willy said, and she fell into the water.
IS ANYONE STILL READING THIS NONSENSE?
(seriously, is anyone?)
There were no weeds.
Willy had been searching the grass for one weed he could pull.
There weren't any.
Of course, he was kind of drunk right now.
The sun was going down, bathing the grass and the castle in hazy pink light.
"This ain't possible," Willy said. "No weeds anywhere."
Mowing this lawn could take days.
Wind whistled through the trees forming the border between the forest and the
castle grounds.
"Willy..."
"Somebody's callin' m'name on the wind," he said.
As he watched, a figure floated out of the woods.
Her feet didn't quite touch the ground.
"Shari Bobbins," he slurred.
"Hello, Willy," she said.
"Euuuch. What happened to ya?"
"I was sucked into the engine of a jet, Willy."
Willy laughed. "Ehhh, who's ugly NOW?"
She disappeared.
Willy staggered backwards, and fell to the ground.
In a moment, he was asleep.
Then, after who knows how long:
Someone shook him. "Willy. WILLY."
He opened his eyes.
"Up you go," Madame Hooch said, pulling Willy up. "Can you stand?"
"I'm capable 'a standin', woman."
He stood up, his legs unfolding like a table
"Ya see?" He asked.
Then his legs gave out.
She caught him.
"All right," she said. "I think you might need some help."
"Aye, I could use another pair of legs..."
She slung one of his arms across her shoulders and dragged him towards the lake.
"You don't remember what we did last night," she said. "I guess that's for the best."
"What'd we do?"
"Nothing," she said. Actually, they had humped like ferocious animals last night in
the forest.
"It's funny," she said. "The relationships between the teachers, you know? The
Headmaster and Minerva think no one notices them, but everybody knows they love each
other. He's a hundred and fifty-six years old and his plumbing still works. Then
there's Hagrid and Sprout. I'm not sure how that's possible, but-"
"I almost got married once," he said, through a mouthful of marbles.
"Really?"
"Yeah...her name was Shari Bobbins...the prettiest girl in Glasgow..."
The came to the edge of the lake.
"What'm I supposed to do?"
She pushed him into the water.
For a second, he disappeared under the water.
He came up splashing. "Agh...what the-" unintelligible "ye do that, woman?"
"Feel better?" she asked.
"Get in here," Willy said, and she fell into the water.
