Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Don't sue – you'll get nothing.
As always, props to Rowing Goddess.
She's in love. He's in denial. How it could have been.
Could Be
By Lizka
She looks at him over the desk as he bends over a copy of Wuthering Heights. His arms surround the book and his long hair brushes against the pages. It's like he's trying to absorb the book; take it into himself. There's a focus to him sometimes, when he can drown out any and all noise around him and become immersed in whatever he was doing. She's still obsessed with him; still fantasizes about him.
A lot of things could happen.
Her friends could corner her in the bathroom, and dye her hair. Rayanne could say that it was about time, Rickie could say that the red would be much more dramatic, while Sharon could say that maybe change is a good thing. The bottle of Crimson Glow has never been opened, not since she bought it all those months ago. Sometimes she picks it up off her shelf, dusts it off, and wonders how she would look. She always puts it back down.
He could be shocked by her hair, bright above her pale skin and a black sweater. He could be unsure about whether or not he likes this change, but he'll always be able to spot her in a crowd – a glowing red beacon, drawing him to her.
She could be vivid with crimson hair. She could be memorable.
She could break up with her nondescript boyfriend; be single again. She could do it at the same time as Sharon, since Sharon's needs help to break up with Kyle. She, Sharon, Rayanne and Rickie could all hang out together, with Delia Fischer and Brian Krakow tagging along. They could all be friends. That would be nice.
Her parents could get divorced. Her dad could keep coming home later and later, and spend more time with his restaurant partner. Her mother could keep trying harder and harder, and maybe nothing would work because he might need something that her mom just couldn't give. Her mother is less trusting, she knows, and maybe has a right to be.
Her home life could be ruined. Her father could move out, her mother could stay up nights crying, and her sister could crawl into her bed because of bad dreams that became reality. She doesn't know how she could handle a situation like that. She could let things fall apart around her, let her mother wallow in her own misery, let her sister drift through the house in an aimless daze, but maybe she's a good enough person that it wouldn't happen like that. She's her own worse critic, and maybe she's judging herself too harshly. If she had to, she could be the rock - she could keep her family from self-destructing. She could keep ties with her father, so she wouldn't have to lose him.
It could happen.
She could have her friends to support her, after she finishes comforting them first. Rickie and Rayanne could – no, would be devastated by a separation. They consider her family the epitome of real domestic bliss, and it could break their hearts to see that they were wrong. They'd help her, though; they have experience in matters like this. Rayanne and Sharon could help her with Danielle, and Rickie could help her around the house until her mother could pull herself back together. Her mother could break down, she knows, but she also knows that her mother could be built back up. It's just who her mother is.
Through it all, she could have him, the boy sitting across from her, engrossed in a gothic romance. They could be together, and when she needed to get away, he could come pick her up in his car. He wrote a song for it once and even let her hear it. It was surprisingly good.
Her friends could baby-sit; hold down the fort while she and he go out on their dates and her mother goes … somewhere. Rickie could keep Rayanne from setting the house on fire, and Sharon could keep everyone sane. If she was her family's rock, then he could be hers, and hold her hand during the bad times. She could lose herself in him, just for a little bit. Her world could crumble around her slowly, like a gingerbread house gone bad, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she had him.
Brian Krakow could help too, in his own Brian Krakow way. He could help Danielle with homework, and generally hang around the house. He could be a singular constant, one of the few really steady things in her life. Romances, divorces, family crises – throughout all of these, Krakow remains the same, and that could give her comfort. Krakow's a very comforting guy. Krakow could give her words and reassurances, while the boy she wants could give her – something else.
He looks up from his book, and the spell is broken. Once again she is in the classroom, sitting across from him at the desk, and not in the backseat of his car. There is no red hair, there is no divorce, and there is no wonderful group of friends. There is her, Rayanne and Rickie. There is her and Sharon. There is occasionally her, Sharon and Rayanne, and sometimes just Sharon and Rayanne. There's Rickie and Rayanne, and Rickie and Brian, but there'll never be a Brian and Rayanne. There is no divorce, but there is a partner in her father's restaurant, and that gives her chills.
There is no her and him.
He asks a question and she answers it, and goes back to correcting the spelling on his latest homework assignment. Life moves on.
Author's Note: This is it. This is the end. This is the non-sequel non-ending that I've been tooting about for months. Non-sequel because the plot doesn't advance - nothing new happens, nothing changes. Non-ending because it's the end of this particular series, but not the story because, as I've said before, nothing changes. And I don't think that anything will change in this particular timeline.
